# Trekkies: What the Hell is wrong with the Enterprise **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [March 25, 2015, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trekkies-what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-the-enterprise/715979 "2015-03-25T21:16:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 9
**Author:** ![grude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e47774/32.png) [@grude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/grude)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2015, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trekkies-what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-the-enterprise/715979/161 "2015-03-30T03:30:45Z")
There isn’t much Starfleet can do about mysterious energy aliens getting into the ship four times a season, but for the love of god the first time the holodeck malfunctions and lets Genghis Khan loose on the ship changes should be made! What the hell kind of messed up porno does the crew like anyway?! ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2015, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trekkies-what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-the-enterprise/715979/162 "2015-03-30T03:38:42Z")
> [@grude](#): > > There isn’t much Starfleet can do about mysterious energy aliens getting into the ship four times a season, but for the love of god the first time the holodeck malfunctions and lets Genghis Khan loose on the ship changes should be made! > > What the hell kind of messed up porno does the crew like anyway?! Rule 34 meets the Prime Directive. ---
**Author:** ![Grestarian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grestarian/32/3227_2.png) [@Grestarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grestarian)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2015, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trekkies-what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-the-enterprise/715979/163 "2015-03-30T04:04:34Z")
> [@smiling\_bandit](#): > > She also may been sexually harassed by at least two people (including Roddenberry). Kind of the reverse of sexual harassment, I think… I was never a big fan of TNG series, but I pretty distinctly remember Tasha Yar got written out of the show very soon after the actress’ Playboy pictorial was distributed. Either Rodedenberry or Paramount (or both) didn’t feel ‘that kind’ of actress was a good presence on their wholesome show. –G! ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2015, 4:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trekkies-what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-the-enterprise/715979/164 "2015-03-30T04:20:19Z")
> [@Grestarian](#): > > Tasha Yar got written out of the show very soon after the actress’ Playboy pictorial was distributed. Eeewwww! Did you have to bring \*that \*thing up?!? It was nearly as bad as Joan Collins’s at around the same time! Yecccch! ---
**Author:** ![outlierrn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/outlierrn/32/3005_2.png) [@outlierrn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/outlierrn)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2015, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trekkies-what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-the-enterprise/715979/165 "2015-03-30T04:33:42Z")
Denise did playboy? I had no idea. ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2015, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trekkies-what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-the-enterprise/715979/166 "2015-03-30T04:37:43Z")
Yeah, I think that is covered under Star Fleet General Order #34. ---
**Author:** ![Morgyn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morgyn/32/3041_2.png) [@Morgyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgyn)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2015, 4:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trekkies-what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-the-enterprise/715979/167 "2015-03-30T04:38:54Z")
> [@billfish678](#): > > And what’s wrong with all the chairs on the ship? > > Have you seen how poor Riker has to contort himself to sit down or get up (aka the Riker maneuver). Actually, that’s because Jonathan Frakes has a back injury from a furniture moving job. That’s also why you see him leaning a lot, or having a foot propped up on something. It was less painful for him to perform “the Riker Maneuver” than it was to sit down the regular way take after take. [Source: [Wil Wheaton via Reddit](https://www.reddit.com/r/scifi/comments/1dx9y7/riker_sits_down_always_with_the_leg_over_the/), scroll down to see the post.] ---
**Author:** ![MaxTheVool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9fc29f/32.png) [@MaxTheVool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MaxTheVool)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2015, 4:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trekkies-what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-the-enterprise/715979/168 "2015-03-30T04:50:48Z")
There are, of course, a multitude of nits to legitimately pick with various forms of Star Trek. One that directly has to do with the design and programming of the Enterprise itself is whenever Picard asks “computer, where is (some starfleet person)”, expecting them to be on the ship, and gets the response “(that person) is not on the ship”. Surely it wouldn’t take much to write a bit of code that, say, 10 times a second queried whether every expected person was actually on board, and instantly sounded an alarm if that was not the case? ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2015, 5:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trekkies-what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-the-enterprise/715979/169 "2015-03-30T05:15:05Z")
> [@eschereal](#): > > Yeah, I think that is covered under Star Fleet General Order #34. Subsection C, Paragraph D: “Droopy boobs.” ---
**Author:** ![Dale\_Sams](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/779978/32.png) [@Dale\_Sams](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dale_Sams)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2015, 10:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trekkies-what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-the-enterprise/715979/170 "2015-03-30T10:19:59Z")
> [@Kenm](#): > > From the link: What? Admit to the world, the Federation and to infinity and beyond that Starfleet is _gasp_ a creature of the military, not of peaceful, scientific explorers? > > Well, I for one am shocked and appalled. Will this very advanced Enterprise be created in secret, at the bottom of the sea within the hull of an ancient battleship? ---
**Author:** ![The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_other_waldo_pepper/32/12370_2.png) [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Other_Waldo_Pepper)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2015, 10:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trekkies-what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-the-enterprise/715979/171 "2015-03-30T10:53:42Z")
> [@Your\_Great\_Darsh\_Face](#): > > Well, Frakes grew the beard and Crosby might have done too Not an image I needed in my mind’s eye. ---
**Author:** ![Kenm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/bc79bd/32.png) [@Kenm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kenm)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2015, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trekkies-what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-the-enterprise/715979/172 "2015-03-30T21:15:08Z")
> [@Dale\_Sams](#): > > Will this very advanced Enterprise be created in secret, at the bottom of the sea within the hull of an ancient battleship? Be with us next time, when our intrepid moose and squirrel . . . oh, sorry. Wrong series. ---
**Author:** ![Battle\_Pope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4bbf92/32.png) [@Battle\_Pope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Battle_Pope)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2015, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trekkies-what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-the-enterprise/715979/173 "2015-03-30T21:49:58Z")
> [@Dale\_Sams](#): > > Will this very advanced Enterprise be created in secret, at the bottom of the sea within the hull of an ancient battleship? Can we have the voice of the ships’ computer done by Billy West doing his Zapp Brannigan voice? ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2015, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trekkies-what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-the-enterprise/715979/174 "2015-03-31T01:42:20Z")
> [@MaxTheVool](#): > > There are, of course, a multitude of nits to legitimately pick with various forms of Star Trek. Yeah, like the guy that came up with the chompers. Whoever wrote that episode should die. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2015, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trekkies-what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-the-enterprise/715979/175 "2015-03-31T02:31:53Z")
> [@Kenm](#): > > Be with us next time, when our intrepid moose and squirrel . . . oh, sorry. Wrong series. Hey, I heard William Conrad. Where is he? C’mon, guys! ---
**Author:** ![Dale\_Sams](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/779978/32.png) [@Dale\_Sams](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dale_Sams)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2015, 3:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trekkies-what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-the-enterprise/715979/176 "2015-03-31T03:06:15Z")
By the way, “A complacent Federation taken unawares by a neighboring species” is pretty much the plot of TNG. There’s a reason the E-D is a cruise ship with kids. Not to mention given the tone of Insurrection during the Dominion War, I just assume the Enterprise-E may as well be called the USS Bob Hope. ---
**Author:** ![Aquadementia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aquadementia/32/555_2.png) [@Aquadementia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aquadementia)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2015, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trekkies-what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-the-enterprise/715979/177 "2015-03-31T04:04:39Z")
Besides the bad acting, Yar was a redundant character when you have the far more interesting Worf there doing nothing. They should have had Worf kill Yar, that’s the Klingon way to advance in rank. If that inkblot was so evil it would have taken over her body and gave them a good reason to fight ---
**Author:** ![Charlie\_Wayne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4bbf92/32.png) [@Charlie\_Wayne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Charlie_Wayne)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2015, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trekkies-what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-the-enterprise/715979/178 "2015-03-31T04:14:12Z")
I think that I may just have a clue. They show us the officers’ quarters but they never show us the crew members quarters. So, where do most of the crew go to masturbate? What kind of privacy does the crew have? I’m guessing that if they use those same kind of shells like Sandra Bullock used in that movie with what’s his name (what where their names after all? Oh! They were Sylvester Stallone and Wesley Snipes. Weren’t they?). Anyway, I’m guessing they do not have sufficient privacy in which they can masturbate. And what with going into deep, deep, very deep space for a very long time without any privacy in which to masturbate. … Well … Hell … everyone needs a little masturbation from time to time. Don’t they? People can go nutso without any masturbation … won’t they? I know that I would. Shit! I’m guessing that it would just be too awful to masturbate in a shitter room with other members of your same gender coming in and out and going to use the toilet facilities while you try to use the same facilities to relieve your digestive selves. Don’t you think? It would just be murder - at least that is what I would think. It would drive you crazy. I would think. Don’t your think? I would guess that everyone would need some privacy in order to masturbate from time to time. Don’t you think? That is what I would think. I would need a place to go where I could think of some of the members of the crew who would be of the opposite gender. That is what I would think. Wouldn’t you think that was true? I think it would be too difficult to achieve orgasm with members of my same gender walking in and out in order to relieve myself by relieving my digestive needs. Wouldn’t you think that was the truth? Or would you think that was just too nasty to appear on the walls of this message board? Well, I’m sorry. But I’m thinking that we just need to post our thoughts where they occur on the walls of this board wherever that may be from time to time. Don’t you think? ---
**Author:** ![Charlie\_Wayne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4bbf92/32.png) [@Charlie\_Wayne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Charlie_Wayne)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2015, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trekkies-what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-the-enterprise/715979/179 "2015-03-31T04:22:07Z")
I am sorry the above post is so ugly. I got cut off by the 5 minute edit limit and I tried to edit it as best I could. But only seemed to make it worse. Please excuse me. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2015, 4:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trekkies-what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-the-enterprise/715979/180 "2015-03-31T04:36:59Z")
We call it “The Barclay Maneuver.” . [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trekkies-what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-the-enterprise/715979.md?page=8) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trekkies-what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-the-enterprise/715979.md?page=10)