# Tried to help my family, nothing but grief! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 13, 2002, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tried-to-help-my-family-nothing-but-grief/142532 "2002-12-13T16:46:16Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![etv78](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/d78d45/32.png) [@etv78](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/etv78)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tried-to-help-my-family-nothing-but-grief/142532/1 "2002-12-13T16:46:16Z")
I went to the mall yesterday, originally to finish my Xmass shopping, but my dad found the gift I was looking for, so I decided to get stuff off my list. My mom read a note I wrote, (they’re there now), and was pissed, so I need to make an extra trip to return the stuff! ---
**Author:** ![apotheosis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ba8739/32.png) [@apotheosis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/apotheosis)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tried-to-help-my-family-nothing-but-grief/142532/2 "2002-12-13T17:09:21Z")
What was in the note that pissed off your mother? Are you returning the gifts to get back at her for being pissed at you? By getting stuff off your list, do you mean you were buying things that were on your list, or eliminating things from said list? I’m so confused. ---
**Author:** ![etv78](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/d78d45/32.png) [@etv78](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/etv78)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tried-to-help-my-family-nothing-but-grief/142532/3 "2002-12-13T17:11:37Z")
I bought stuff I asked for. She’s making me return them, presumabole, becasue she already bought them. apothesis, not that hard to understand! ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tried-to-help-my-family-nothing-but-grief/142532/4 "2002-12-13T17:16:06Z")
I didn’t understand it either. At all. It’s starting to come into focus with the second explanation. Why did you buy yourself stuff that you asked other people for? ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tried-to-help-my-family-nothing-but-grief/142532/5 "2002-12-13T17:17:09Z")
And WHO is there now? ---
**Author:** ![apotheosis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ba8739/32.png) [@apotheosis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/apotheosis)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tried-to-help-my-family-nothing-but-grief/142532/6 "2002-12-13T17:28:09Z")
You still didn’t mention what the note contained that pissed your mother off so badly. 'Fess up…were you calling her nasty names? Enquiring minds want to know. What’s a presumabole? Did you smoke one recently? Would the BATF approve? How about the FDA? What’s the street value of a presumabole, and wouldn’t you rather spend that money on your mother’s christmas presents, since you’re apparently on her shit list? And while we’re on the subject, are you sure her shit list didn’t get swapped with your ‘other’ list by mistake? It’d _really_ suck to buy yourself items off your mother’s shit list by accident, and find out later you really didn’t want them after all. ---
**Author:** ![etv78](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/d78d45/32.png) [@etv78](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/etv78)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tried-to-help-my-family-nothing-but-grief/142532/7 "2002-12-13T17:42:22Z")
No “shit list” mix up. presumabole=PRESUMABLY (you couldn’t figure that out?) Note’s gist+I got X, Y, and Z for myself). ---
**Author:** ![Waverly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/57b2e6/32.png) [@Waverly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Waverly)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tried-to-help-my-family-nothing-but-grief/142532/8 "2002-12-13T17:47:19Z")
Am I the only wondering, presumaboling I deciphered the cryptic OP correctly, why our pal eric goes shopping only to buy himself gifts from his own list, and then whines when his mother tells him she got some of those things? He sounds like an obnoxious twerp. ---
**Author:** ![etv78](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/d78d45/32.png) [@etv78](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/etv78)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tried-to-help-my-family-nothing-but-grief/142532/9 "2002-12-13T18:20:28Z")
Waverly, fair enough. Here’s the whole story, dipshit! I went to the mall the Saturday afer Thanksgiving, due to an ATM not allowing me to take enough $, I needed a second trip. The day b4 my trip, my dad bought the gift I was going to buy. So as not to make the trip a total waste, I decided to buy things for myself, in an attempt to HELP my mom+dad! ---
**Author:** ![Velma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/85e7bf/32.png) [@Velma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velma)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tried-to-help-my-family-nothing-but-grief/142532/10 "2002-12-13T18:45:29Z")
Do you mean you bought yourself a bunch of things with the intention of going home, telling your parents you bought your own Christmans presents, and asking them to reimburse you / wrap them up and put them under the tree? That’s the saddest idea of Christmas giving I ever heard. Why don’t you just exchange checks? Or better yet, just tell your parents to figure out how much they would have spent on you, subtract the amount you would have spent on them, and have them give you the difference in cash? I would be upset too, if someone went out and bought themselves things on their list and told me, “this is for me from you.” ---
**Author:** ![etv78](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/d78d45/32.png) [@etv78](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/etv78)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tried-to-help-my-family-nothing-but-grief/142532/11 "2002-12-13T18:57:20Z")
These gifts were NEVER destined for tinfoiled-wrap under the tree. I’m not THAT much of an asshole. Deducting the budget would be the defacto result. ---
**Author:** ![apotheosis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ba8739/32.png) [@apotheosis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/apotheosis)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tried-to-help-my-family-nothing-but-grief/142532/12 "2002-12-13T19:12:55Z")
When I was a kid in Boy Scouts, one time we were camped next to a golf course and had access to a ton of old, lost golf balls. Being destructive twelve-ish kids, our first impulse was to see what happens when you put a golf ball in a campfire. Toss it in by the edge, watch cautiously as it heats up, poke it with a stick every now and then and watch as it gets hotter and hotter…then the spectacular payoff: it flipped out in a madly-spinning ball of snapping rubber bands, kicking up ashes and making a loud whining noise, and eventually disappeared completely. If you don’t have “Titleist” tattooed on your ass, you should. :wally ---
**Author:** ![Angel\_of\_the\_Lord](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/angel_of_the_lord/32/2949_2.png) [@Angel\_of\_the\_Lord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angel_of_the_Lord)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tried-to-help-my-family-nothing-but-grief/142532/13 "2002-12-13T19:14:40Z")
…to be fair, I’ve been asked to do my own Christmas shopping at times by my parents. I mean, if I’m asking for something fairly un-fuck-up-able, such as a specific CD or game or book, then there’s no problem. But sometimes–and just sometimes–I ask for something like a bra, or I’ll find something on an online site (my mom’s internet-illiterate) that I really, really want. In that case, I’ll ask my mom, she’ll give me the money or her credit card, and have me buy it for myself. I give her back the change, she wraps it and puts it under the tree. It saves a lot of grief, especially since I’m likely to just say, “Um…I have no idea…” when asked what I want for Christmas. Then again, my family’s always taken a rather pragmatic approach to gifts… ---
**Author:** ![Waverly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/57b2e6/32.png) [@Waverly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Waverly)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tried-to-help-my-family-nothing-but-grief/142532/14 "2002-12-13T20:15:27Z")
I think an agreement between gifter and giftee that the gift must be fit or otherwise picked out in person is much different than some yipping pubescent deciding to gripe after he finds the gifts he purchased for himself had already been bought for him. Most people in this situation [assuming they were the sort to buy their own gifts without such an arrangement] would apologize for ruining any intended surprise and gladly return the items. Furthermore, gifts are not purchase orders, it may have been the lad’s mother’s intention to pick out something special on her own. I’m a bit sickened by this display, and I feel my yearly cheer running out even earlier than normal. ---
**Author:** ![Spooky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Spooky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spooky)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tried-to-help-my-family-nothing-but-grief/142532/15 "2002-12-13T20:32:05Z")
Just for the record, **erictelevision** , I could not make hide nor hair of your OP either. Hey, what were these gift items anyway? Just curious. ---
**Author:** ![etv78](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/d78d45/32.png) [@etv78](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/etv78)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tried-to-help-my-family-nothing-but-grief/142532/16 "2002-12-13T21:12:39Z")
Waverly, Kiss my bullocks!!! Spooky: 2 almanacs, a calendar and day-planner. ---
**Author:** ![apotheosis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ba8739/32.png) [@apotheosis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/apotheosis)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tried-to-help-my-family-nothing-but-grief/142532/17 "2002-12-13T21:19:13Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by erictelevision \* > **Kiss my bullocks!!!** I’ll gladly kiss Sandra, but you keep Jim J. to yourself. ---
**Author:** ![Jodi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7feea3/32.png) [@Jodi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jodi)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tried-to-help-my-family-nothing-but-grief/142532/18 "2002-12-13T21:28:56Z")
> [@](#): > > So as not to make the trip a total waste, I decided to buy things for myself, in an attempt to HELP my mom+dad! _:: Snort ::_ Nothing screams “Santa’s Lil’ Helper” like you buying stuff for you. ---
**Author:** ![Waverly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/57b2e6/32.png) [@Waverly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Waverly)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2002, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tried-to-help-my-family-nothing-but-grief/142532/19 "2002-12-14T00:08:52Z")
Merry Christmas to you as well. May you find everything you were hoping for in your stocking. ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2002, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tried-to-help-my-family-nothing-but-grief/142532/20 "2002-12-14T15:00:54Z")
Just an aside: There were a couple of years in which my mom took me out on the day **after** Christmas to get my presents, on the theory that everything would be marked down and I could pick what I wanted. Thanks, mom. Merry Fucking Christmas. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tried-to-help-my-family-nothing-but-grief/142532.md?page=2)