# Trolls, how many kinds are there ? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 4, 1999, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trolls-how-many-kinds-are-there/3517 "1999-12-04T17:47:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Ayesha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c0e974/32.png) [@Ayesha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ayesha)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 1999, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trolls-how-many-kinds-are-there/3517/1 "1999-12-04T17:47:00Z")
I know there are diffrent types of trolls out there , we need to catagorize them. The ones I hate the worst are , The chicken shit trolls. You know them, they are the ones start shit and run away. They never want to hang around to finish what they start. I have more balls than they do ! * * * Ayesha - Lioness * * * There are two solutions to every problem : the wrong one, and mine (Thomas A. Edison) ---
**Author:** ![Konrad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f475e1/32.png) [@Konrad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Konrad)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 1999, 6:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trolls-how-many-kinds-are-there/3517/2 "1999-12-05T06:02:00Z")
The one I fear most is the Trollus Criteratus, the Horned Troll of Death. It strongly resembles a Mongolian mountain-goat, tt can climb vertical walls, swear in Belgian, see through walls and its farts can knock out a Turkish taxi-driver at 20 metres! Once this troll has set its sights on you it will follow you relentlessly. It can find you by searching through internet telephone directories, calling up your place of work and impersonating your relatives or by its sense of smell alone. It will do anything it can do destroy you, even shitting in your flower garden when you are on vacation! ---
**Author:** ![AuntiePam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f19dbf/32.png) [@AuntiePam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AuntiePam)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 1999, 6:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trolls-how-many-kinds-are-there/3517/3 "1999-12-05T06:09:00Z")
Don’t forget the Gap Troll on MAD-TV. I finally found something to justify the saying “He’s so ugly, he’s cute.” ---
**Author:** ![ChrisCTP](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e36b37/32.png) [@ChrisCTP](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChrisCTP)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 1999, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trolls-how-many-kinds-are-there/3517/4 "1999-12-04T20:35:00Z")
Well, there’s Konrad. Admittedly, he’s my favorite troll, because even though he’s a punkass little brat who shoulda been grounded a few more times, he’s not a moron and his jibes are pretty funny. This would be the “Troll who would have potential if he would pull his head out of his ass.” And then there’s Phaedrus, who appears educated on the surface, but often posts sad, drunken, nonsensical oneliners in the Pit after 4:00 a.m. If it weren’t for that, I’d be certain he were another loverock. He is the “Troll who exists solely for the purpose of trolling.” * * * “…all the prettiest girls live in Des Moines…” –Jack Kerouac, _On the Road_ ---
**Author:** ![ChiefScott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58f4c7/32.png) [@ChiefScott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChiefScott)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 1999, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trolls-how-many-kinds-are-there/3517/5 "1999-12-04T20:36:00Z")
The under-20, computer-using, “No-stupid-the-answer-I-wanted-and-which-is-correct…”, don’t-drop-my-puppy, html-abusing, \<20-posting, conciously-gry-asking, non-search-using, picking-on-Michelle, lol- :)-addicted, heatherlee/Loverock spawned troll just has to be the worst. Oh, and brithael. ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 1999, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trolls-how-many-kinds-are-there/3517/6 "1999-12-04T21:15:00Z")
Talk Show Trolls— they have their own , syndicated T.V. shows; & can’t find anything better to do with this public platform than disseminate half-truths & innuendoes to confuse & bewilder an already poorly educated public. Their newly-spawned pupae come to this board to feed off the rest of us & grow. (Just grow–they never develop) * * * Save The Endangered Jackalope! Send Cash Now! If You Do This, I Will Use The Cash To Save Any Jackalope That I Happen To Find! Send Cash Now! Before It’s Too Late! My Bills, I Mean **The Jackalope’s Bills** Are Due The 15th Of The Month! _This has been a message from the Illuminated Committee To Save The Jackalope. Fnord._ ---
**Author:** ![the\_first\_supraliminal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f475e1/32.png) [@the\_first\_supraliminal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/the_first_supraliminal)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 1999, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trolls-how-many-kinds-are-there/3517/7 "1999-12-05T16:14:00Z")
For some reason, I hate any troll by the name “Ayesha.” I don’t know, call it an opinion if you must, but I just gotta have one. But, hey, Ayesha, I agree, I don’t like chicken shit trolls myself. I do like the trolls who can back up their trolling. * * * There’s always another beer. ---
**Author:** ![Ayesha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c0e974/32.png) [@Ayesha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ayesha)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 1999, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trolls-how-many-kinds-are-there/3517/8 "1999-12-05T17:11:00Z")
Well, hello there Beeruser, How are you today ? Is it only trolls who use the name Ayesha you hate, or is it all Ayesha’s ? I hope you aren’t biased against all Ayeshas. True not all Ayeshas are as wonderful as I am, but they can’t help that. I personally have never met an Ayesha troll. But if you say they exist, then who am I to disagree with you ? * * * Ayesha - Lioness * * * There are two solutions to every problem : the wrong one, and mine (Thomas A. Edison) ---
**Author:** ![Spiritus\_Mundi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c68b51/32.png) [@Spiritus\_Mundi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiritus_Mundi)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 1999, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trolls-how-many-kinds-are-there/3517/9 "1999-12-05T19:43:00Z")
The very worst trolls, the most craven and annoying trolls, are the **cowardly** ones. You know the type. The post an inflammatory statement, challenge people to a fight, then whimper away like a punk as soon as the dialectical lead starts flying. Microcephalic invertebrates, every last one of them. * * * - The best lack all conviction The worst are full of passionate intensity. \* ---
**Author:** ![Spiritus\_Mundi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c68b51/32.png) [@Spiritus\_Mundi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiritus_Mundi)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 1999, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trolls-how-many-kinds-are-there/3517/10 "1999-12-05T19:48:00Z")
oops. forgot to give credit to Ayesha for her remarkable perspicacity in hating the same trolls that I do. Good job. You can run point for me anytime. * * * - The best lack all conviction The worst are full of passionate intensity. \* ---
**Author:** ![kellibelli](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e480ec/32.png) [@kellibelli](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kellibelli)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 1999, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trolls-how-many-kinds-are-there/3517/11 "1999-12-05T22:07:00Z")
Just FTR, I _like_ Konrad. I realize this maybe an unpopular view, but I see inteligence and potential in him, and he is no coward . Ok, go ahead, tear me a new one! ( covers head, runs.) ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 1999, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trolls-how-many-kinds-are-there/3517/12 "1999-12-05T22:34:00Z")
Who would want to “tear you a new one”, Kellibelli? You are this board’s resident agel , & the apple of all of our eyes. Besides being one of the two sexiest women in North America. 😉 * * * Save The Endangered Jackalope! Send Cash Now! If You Do This, I Will Use The Cash To Save Any Jackalope That I Happen To Find! Send Cash Now! Before It’s Too Late! My Bills, I Mean **The Jackalope’s Bills** Are Due The 15th Of The Month! _This has been a message from the Illuminated Committee To Save The Jackalope. Fnord._ ---
**Author:** ![kellibelli](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e480ec/32.png) [@kellibelli](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kellibelli)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 1999, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trolls-how-many-kinds-are-there/3517/13 "1999-12-06T01:36:00Z")
Oh Daniel…you say the sweetest things. What do you mean one of two?? Who is the other one? ---
**Author:** ![neuro-trash\_grrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3ab097/32.png) [@neuro-trash\_grrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/neuro-trash_grrrl)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 1999, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trolls-how-many-kinds-are-there/3517/14 "1999-12-06T01:41:00Z")
Why, me, of course! Unless he’s talking about Michelle… * * * “That’s entertainment!” —Vlad the Impaler ---
**Author:** ![the\_first\_supraliminal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f475e1/32.png) [@the\_first\_supraliminal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/the_first_supraliminal)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 1999, 11:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trolls-how-many-kinds-are-there/3517/15 "1999-12-06T11:50:00Z")
Ayesha, you are so gracious. Thank you for not kicking my drunken ass. * * * There’s always another beer. ---
**Author:** ![EvilGhandi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@EvilGhandi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EvilGhandi)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 1999, 11:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trolls-how-many-kinds-are-there/3517/16 "1999-12-06T11:59:00Z")
This is the pit? ---
**Author:** ![Ayesha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c0e974/32.png) [@Ayesha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ayesha)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 1999, 1:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trolls-how-many-kinds-are-there/3517/17 "1999-12-06T13:04:00Z")
Beeruser, It’s not that I declined to kick your drunken ass, it’s that your post was a trap. If I had responded anyother way, I would have been agreeing with you . I admit you gave me a run for my money. Peace? Besides, that wasn’t enought to piss me off bad enough to fight. Kelli, We all know that you are a big softy, Konrad will be ok , when he grows up. Maybe. NTGrrrl,& Kelli Look I already listed myself as the most beautiful woman in the US. Haven’t you guys heard "There can only be one ". Swords ready, I’ll let ya’ll fight first, (I don’t do threesomes) and then I’ll run like hell from the winner. EvilGhandi, What can I tell you ? There are only 19 days till Christmas, even the pit gets in the spirit sometimes. * * * Ayesha - Lioness * * * There are two solutions to every problem : the wrong one, and mine (Thomas A. Edison) ---
**Author:** ![Alphagene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Alphagene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alphagene)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 1999, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trolls-how-many-kinds-are-there/3517/18 "1999-12-06T20:54:00Z")
I propose a new category of annoying poster. A newbie who, the very first day of resigstration, proceeds to streak GQ with seven consecutive questions that are easily answered in the Archive but currently seem to only plague the minds of dozens of hack observational stand-up comedians. The black box, the driveway, the falling elevator jump, that sort of thing. Frazer ring a bell for anyone? How about coining a term for these specks of detritus? * * * Back off, man. I’m a scientist. ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 1999, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trolls-how-many-kinds-are-there/3517/19 "1999-12-06T21:09:00Z")
Anagram for “specks of detritus.” DRECK PEST OFT IS US Naw, that won’t work. * * * “Some people are worried about the difference between right and wrong. I’m worried about the difference between wrong and fun.” ~P.J. O’Rourke~ ---
**Author:** ![Diane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/2acd7d/32.png) [@Diane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diane)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 1999, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trolls-how-many-kinds-are-there/3517/20 "1999-12-06T22:48:00Z")
No, no, no. . . I am the fairest in the land. Oh yeah, and Konrad is a doof. * * * \>^,^\< KITTEN Fluff yer hair Beula, I’s feelin frisky - M.S. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trolls-how-many-kinds-are-there/3517.md?page=2)