Trolls R Us redux

No, I googled it when I saw the thread and at first found nothing. The first site I found was two hours after FriendlyCurmudgeon’s post. However, it’s possible some people might have said it in the comments section of the video on CBS Television. I didn’t check that. It’s possible he listened to the speech and picked it up himself, or may have picked it up in the comments section. But his post was before it started being posted specifically on right-wing sites.

Ah, I misunderstood.

I feel I must add a comment here, as I often do (and please don’t take this as any kind of criticism) when ignorant fucks who have no idea what they’re talking about (and I mean that in the kindest possible way) take it upon themselves to be self-appointed critics of a drink that by their own admission they have never even fucking tried. If these babbling idiots (and I say that speaking as a friend) would stop babbling and take the time to listen before insulting a man’s favourite cocktail and his entire country, then they might learn something instead of making total asses of themselves (no negativity intended, keeping in mind that the ass is historically a useful and noble work animal). None of this is intended to be construed as an invitation for these distinguished commentators to all fuck off, but is merely provided as a kindly piece of information.

Here are the facts. If I spent any time in idle contemplation of whether I would like the taste of clamato juice or not, I would probably conclude that I would not, and wonder why anyone would. In fact, I probably actually would NOT like it. But that’s not what clamato really is, in terms of taste, and particularly not what a Caesar is.

What the clamato juice does – and why its introduction into the mix was so brilliant – is that it lightens the otherwise overpoweringly thick and gooey makeup of tomato juice. To me drinking a Bloody Mary is like drinking pasta sauce. Not that it’s a bad taste, but I always feel it should be heated up and thickened a bit more, and then served over spaghetti. Whereas a Caesar is light and refreshing, with just a subtle hinting suggestion of seafood, and permeated with a bit of spicy heat, more or less depending one one’s preference. In addition to Tabasco and the classic Caesar spice mix, the subtle underlying seafood ambience lends itself to the use of horseradish, if one is so inclined. And then a stalk of celery and maybe some mildly hot peppers for contrast and visual appeal. Normally the glass will have its edge dipped in lemon juice and then into some celery salt or Caesar spice.

My feeling for those who have never tried a Caesar and claim they never will is a sort of mix of pity and contempt, both of those, of course, meant in the kindest and most constructive sense.

  1. Two of my best friends are Canucks. Neither of them would drink a Caesar on a bet.

b) If your drink is too thick it’s because you DIDN’T PUT IN ENOUGH VODKA, DUMBASS!!! A properly made Bloody should be damn-near transparent.

#- I don’t need to sample a moose turd pie to know I won’t like it and will think less of someone who does. Verily, they shall be judged and found wanting.

So they say! I would check their credentials carefully. They’re probably here illegally.

I didn’t realize this was a thing.

And then recipes for edible Moose Turd Pie.

I’ve loved Clamato since childhood, though it is now linked in my mind with Tomacco.


Our kid brought a can of that home. He put it in the back of the fridge, then moved to San Francisco. He stopped home for a visit, we asked him if he wanted it, and he took off for New York. He stopped by en route to El Paso, and said he was going to drink it. Last we heard from him, he was in Baltimore.

Anybody want it? I’ll leave the kitchen door unlocked.

I like it.

Back in the late 1960s / early 1970s Ireland’s Guinness Brewery launched an effort to make Guinness a mainstream brand in the USA. At that time it was a small volume specialty product sold only in genuinely ethnic bars in the few Irish neighborhoods in the US northeast.

The continuing conceit in the whole series of ads was a Guiness drinker or sales rep trying to get their friends or other bar patrons to try it. Who all screwed up their face, held their nose, refused to taste it, etc. Then finally forced down a sip and had an epiphany.

The tagline for the whole ad series:

Guinness: I’ve never tried it and I don’t like it!

They knew their audience and hit them right between the eyes with a clue-by-four.

May you be as successful. I’ve not had a Caesar, but just for lack of opportunity, not any revulsion. Your explanation makes it sound pretty darn nice.

Aw, dammit, I just knew someone was going to bring up beer with tomato juice.

Ick. A shandy needs to be made from a sweet fruit drink with no pulp.

Should you choose to try it yourself, Mott’s Clamato is the natural starting point. You may want to consider some combo of Mott’s Caesar spice (the only additional thing I currently use, because in my old age I prefer things less spicy) along with (potentially) Tabasco and worcestireshire and perhaps a touch of horseradish. The glass-rimming thing is a nice touch (lemon juice to wet, celery salt or or Mott’s spice to rim it with) and the celery stalk adds visual appeal.

A friend who took a bar-tending course mentioned that one of the little secrets to a really well made Caesar is the use of lots of ice, with a correspondingly large glass. It’s all part of the zip and freshness of a Caesar. :slight_smile:

Maybe I’ll have to give back my passport. I’m Canadian, and I hate Caesars.

The clam juice part of the clamato just doesn’t agree with me physically. I can easily handle a Bloody Mary, and I can assure you that they need not have the thickness and texture of pasta sauce. Problem is that the Caesar is so popular here in Canada that if you ask for a Mary, the well-meaning bartender thinks you made a mistake, and serves you a Caesar anyway. I’ve returned more than a few of those, but I’ve learned not to order a Bloody Anything in a Canadian bar. Since most Canadian bars nowadays have no tomato juice for a Mary (but they’ve got more clamato than can possibly be legal), I’m out of luck unless I make one at home.

One of the things I like about visiting the United States is ordering a Bloody Mary and actually getting a Bloody Mary. Given current travel restrictions, that won’t be happening for a while, I guess, so I’ll be making my own Marys at home.

An ice cold Chelada chugged straight from the can is a great wake up drink if you drank a bit the night before and are feeling fuzzy. That, or a red eye.

Ugh. Disagree. I don’t think shandies need to made at all. Sweet, watered-down beer? Pass.

Saturday we’ll be having our weekly cocktail adventure, and Caesars will be the experimente du semane. Thank you!

Gee, you have to love that Canadian politeness, eh?

Please note I never insulted the Caesar, people who like Caesars, or Canada. I don’t care what you like or what you drink or where you’re from. I expressed an opinion about a flavor and temperature combo I don’t find appealing. I think yogurt is disgusting regardless of flavor or brand. Am I a babbling idiot insulting yogurt eaters and the dairy industry if I say I wouldn’t drink a smoothie made with yogurt?

I admit I’ve made an ass of myself on a lot of occasions. I’ve survived.

I kindly suggest you find a ladder and get the fuck over yourself.

I’m now slightly less disgusted by the idea of a Caesar than I was before, given your insistence that the clam juice is a light flavor, but the reason I didn’t like Bloody Mary the one time I tried it wasn’t the thickness, it was the act of drinking tomato juice. It’s a stronger version of your preference for gooey tomatoes to be in the medium of food instead of drink: for me it applies to all tomatoes. The partygoers who made the drink for me even put in more vodka in and it just didn’t do it for me.

Same goes for hot sauce. Hot sauce should be a topping instead of a beverage.