# Trolls R Us Resurrections (Part 1) **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [September 11, 2021, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trolls-r-us-resurrections-part-1/950518 "2021-09-11T17:26:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 240
**Author:** ![k9bfriender](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/k9bfriender/32/3283_2.png) [@k9bfriender](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/k9bfriender)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2023, 12:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trolls-r-us-resurrections-part-1/950518/9265 "2023-05-17T12:54:36Z")
Or maybe after staring at the fireball, everything seemed to go dark. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2023, 1:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trolls-r-us-resurrections-part-1/950518/9266 "2023-05-17T13:16:30Z")
“shined like a furnace of blue, igneous fire”. Firstly - “shined”? Secondly - “igneous fire”. Fiery fire? “tinted the color of a golden rod”. So - gold? “The sky darkened to a hue of violet.” So - violet? “walking down a velvet isle” - Sounds very soggy. ---
**Author:** ![Great\_Antibob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e47c2d/32.png) [@Great\_Antibob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Great_Antibob)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2023, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trolls-r-us-resurrections-part-1/950518/9267 "2023-05-17T13:54:31Z")
Only tripped over the relevant thread this morning but it does sound like this is a guy born on third base thinking he ran the ball in for a touchdown ---
**Author:** ![Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slow_moving_vehicle/32/291_2.png) [@Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slow_Moving_Vehicle)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2023, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trolls-r-us-resurrections-part-1/950518/9268 "2023-05-17T13:56:54Z")
“Bashful as a tomato in summer?” What the hell is he talking about? Everyone knows tomatoes are flaming extroverts and will talk to anybody. Bell peppers are the vegetables that are shy and reticent. ---
**Author:** ![Atamasama](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atamasama/32/12961_2.png) [@Atamasama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atamasama)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2023, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trolls-r-us-resurrections-part-1/950518/9269 "2023-05-17T14:11:41Z")
Now I’m wondering if this is some weird sci-fi Veggie Tales fan fiction. He should have gone edgier, _Fifty Shades of Tomato_. ---
**Author:** ![k9bfriender](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/k9bfriender/32/3283_2.png) [@k9bfriender](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/k9bfriender)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2023, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trolls-r-us-resurrections-part-1/950518/9270 "2023-05-17T14:16:39Z")
> [@Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](#): > > Everyone knows tomatoes are flaming extroverts and will talk to anybody. Bell peppers are the vegetables that are shy and reticent. Yeah, I bet you heard that from the grapes, those gossips. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2023, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trolls-r-us-resurrections-part-1/950518/9271 "2023-05-17T14:22:26Z")
> [@Kron](#): > > What the hell did I just read? _The Eye of Argon in Spa-a-a-ace!_ ---
**Author:** ![wolfpup](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpup/32/10618_2.png) [@wolfpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfpup)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2023, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trolls-r-us-resurrections-part-1/950518/9272 "2023-05-17T15:28:17Z")
> [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > If hard science fiction means that the author puts a lot of thought into scientific accuracy, this is the softest science fiction I’ve ever seen. Never mind the science – it’s the magnificent similes that distinguish this man’s craft. I wanted to quote a few but they’re pretty much in every second sentence, particularly the first bit that @Darren_Garrison quoted from _A Brief Space Opera_. They permeate the prose like the mold spores in a piece of Tibetan yak cheese that’s been in the fridge for over a year because you didn’t like it and eventually forgot about. But I mentioned a few in my previous humble critique of this magnificent work, which exceeds in sheer similetic excellence the best writing in the Bulyer-Lytton archives. Notice how the writers below all made commendable efforts, yet somehow never achieved the heights of a true master like our gifted friend: > She resolved to end the love affair with Ramon tonight … summarily, like Martha Stewart ripping the sand vein out of a shrimp’s tail … though the term “love affair” now struck her as a ridiculous euphemism … not unlike “sand vein,” which is after all an intestine, not a vein … and that tarry substance inside certainly isn’t sand … and that brought her back to Ramon. > Just like (or as) a bicycle rider lifts his butt from the seat when he sees a bump coming, so Bob pulled back, emotionally, when Alice got angry. Though it must be said that Bulyer-Lytton does not lack for charming characters who would be right at home in _Space Opera_ – this one would immediately be hired as a “stewardess” on one of B.K’s gray Lego-textured star cruisers: > She sipped her latte gracefully, unaware of the milk foam droplets building on her mustache, which was not the peachy-fine baby fuzz that Nordic girls might have, but a really dense, dark, hirsute lip-lining row of fur common to southern Mediterranean ladies nearing menopause, and winked at the obviously charmed Spaniard at the next table. ---
**Author:** ![Riemann](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/riemann/32/3133_2.png) [@Riemann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Riemann)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2023, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trolls-r-us-resurrections-part-1/950518/9273 "2023-05-17T15:33:35Z")
> [@Gyrate](#): > > “igneous fire”. Fiery fire? It’s an awkward expression, but it’s not tautologous. Igneous means volcanic, not generically fiery. ---
**Author:** ![gnoitall](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bb73d2/32.png) [@gnoitall](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gnoitall)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2023, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trolls-r-us-resurrections-part-1/950518/9274 "2023-05-17T15:34:06Z")
So, flammable basalt? Is that a thing? ---
**Author:** ![Pleonast](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pleonast/32/1183_2.png) [@Pleonast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pleonast)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2023, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trolls-r-us-resurrections-part-1/950518/9275 "2023-05-17T15:44:26Z")
Make anything hot enough and it _will_ interact with oxygen. ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2023, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trolls-r-us-resurrections-part-1/950518/9276 "2023-05-17T16:20:56Z")
It very much _can_ mean just generally fiery. ---
**Author:** ![Riemann](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/riemann/32/3133_2.png) [@Riemann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Riemann)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2023, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trolls-r-us-resurrections-part-1/950518/9277 "2023-05-17T16:26:08Z")
I think that usage is archaic. I’ve never seen it used that way, any recent cites? In any event, it isn’t an argument that the expression “igneous fire” is tautologous, I think it’s just an awkward attempt to say volcanic fire. ---
**Author:** ![TroutMan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/troutman/32/6721_2.png) [@TroutMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TroutMan)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2023, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trolls-r-us-resurrections-part-1/950518/9278 "2023-05-17T16:59:24Z")
I just have to interject, I opened the Board after a several hour absence and saw 54 new messages in this thread. I was dreading the inevitable troll feeding party, so I was pleasantly surprised by what had actually transpired. _TroutMan dreaded with great dread opening the thread, knowing he’d see multiple and countless posts, almost too many to be counted, from a troll and all the other posters responding with their own responses. But when he saw the actual posts, the corners of his mouth turned up at the corners, looking like a smile on the face of a smiling man._ ---
**Author:** ![aurora\_maire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aurora_maire/32/328_2.png) [@aurora\_maire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aurora_maire)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2023, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trolls-r-us-resurrections-part-1/950518/9279 "2023-05-17T18:56:27Z")
> [@wolfpup](#): > > Never mind the science – it’s the magnificent similes that distinguish this man’s craft. I wanted to quote a few but they’re pretty much in every second sentence, This! So much. Last night before I went to bed, I was kind of feeling bad about making such fun of him but then I realized that someone who self-publishes 25 books is just begging for attention. It might not be the kind of attention he wants but that’s tough, like leathery skin on a caramelized burnt brown piece of fake meat grown in the lab of a starship biologist doctor who sings like she remembers the Steve Miller song her grandfather also sang. ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2023, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trolls-r-us-resurrections-part-1/950518/9280 "2023-05-17T19:19:04Z")
Sorry haven’t read the whole thread. Has this bit about **BK Neifert** been posted? > [@his own site](#): > > 2008 – 2009 – B. K. Neifert is arrested and convicted of two counts of simple assault and two counts of reckless endangerment, spurred by a psychotic episode where he vehicular assaulted two teenagers. He receives treatment for mental illness his entire life, and makes a successful recovery." ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2023, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trolls-r-us-resurrections-part-1/950518/9281 "2023-05-17T20:05:39Z")
> [@DocCathode](#): > > Sorry haven’t read the whole thread. Has this bit about **BK Neifert** been posted? Mentioned [here.](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trolls-r-us-resurrections/950518/9261) ---
**Author:** ![JKellyMap](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jkellymap/32/15880_2.png) [@JKellyMap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JKellyMap)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2023, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trolls-r-us-resurrections-part-1/950518/9282 "2023-05-17T20:34:39Z")
> [@Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](#): > > “Bashful as a tomato in summer?” I sense a new Doper meme a-bornin’. At least he gave us that. (Don’t worry, I won’t go down to the quarry and force the meme on y’all.) ---
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2023, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trolls-r-us-resurrections-part-1/950518/9283 "2023-05-17T20:41:54Z")
> [@JKellyMap](#): > > I sense a new Doper meme a-bornin’. At least he gave us that. Bold prediction. As bold as an asparagus in autumn. ---
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2023, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trolls-r-us-resurrections-part-1/950518/9284 "2023-05-17T20:50:29Z")
> [@DocCathode](#): > > Sorry haven’t read the whole thread. Has this bit about **BK Neifert** been posted? He also mentioned another stint in prison after confessing something to the police. He didn’t say what it is, but I see that what it is rhymes with gregistered grex grofender. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trolls-r-us-resurrections-part-1/950518.md?page=239) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trolls-r-us-resurrections-part-1/950518.md?page=241)