# Trombonists - A Question for You **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [October 23, 2001, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trombonists-a-question-for-you/89132 "2001-10-23T17:44:22Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2001, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trombonists-a-question-for-you/89132/41 "2001-10-25T19:18:35Z")
All brassists (and sax symbols) are party animals, but the type of partying does seem to vary with the pitch. The lower-range instruments do tend to have slightly less conventional (from a college student point of view) ideas on what constitutes a “party”. A trumpeter, for instance, is apt to disrupt the band by making farting noises, but since that would sound normal, not disruptive, coming from a tuba, we have to resort to disrupting the band by telling corny puns. > [@](#): > > You forgot the tuba section, which of course attracts the handsome, witty, suave, debonair, breezily-intellectual, studly, yet surprisingly modest fellows. Myself, I’m one of the witty, debonair, breezily-intellectual D&D nerds. ---
**Author:** ![Humble\_Servant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/47e85d/32.png) [@Humble\_Servant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Humble_Servant)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2001, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trombonists-a-question-for-you/89132/42 "2001-10-25T19:38:04Z")
Hi everyone. I too played trombone in high school–led the parade at every football game in my little pom-pon girl outfit (what the girls in band had to wear back then instead of the regular uniforms–times have changed slightly:)). Man, I thought I was hot shit. What I can’t remember anymore is the name of two well-known pieces we played where the trombones had the lead. One was a novelty piece with lots of glissandos that someone must know. The other was a beautiful big-band Glenn Miller/Benny Goodman type thing, very high-pitched and sweet for trombone and good for slow dancing. Anyone remember those? Oh, and the reason we were always goofing off was because we sat way in the back and didn’t get enough playing time in rehearsals–the instruments with the leads had to play their parts over and over while we poked the people in front of us with our slides. And I chose trombone in 4th grade because it looked a lot easier than those instruments with lots of buttons. ---
**Author:** ![Cliffy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/59ef9b/32.png) [@Cliffy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cliffy)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2001, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trombonists-a-question-for-you/89132/43 "2001-10-25T19:58:19Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Fiver \* > \*\*Trumpet: boring, boring, boring! \*\* A common cheer heard during my college marching band rehearsals: Ai-yi-yi-yi The trumpets are all assholes! –Cliffy ---
**Author:** ![brad\_d](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/50afbb/32.png) [@brad\_d](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brad_d)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2001, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trombonists-a-question-for-you/89132/44 "2001-10-25T21:33:57Z")
Are you guys familiar with the trumpeter’s greeting? In a pleasant tone, with a smile, right hand extended: _Hi, I’m better than you._ The tuba players, of course, simply offer a beer. Trombonists offer a joint. 🙂 :: ducks & runs :: ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2001, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trombonists-a-question-for-you/89132/45 "2001-10-26T00:10:09Z")
It’s all in the lips, baybee. I too am a former trombone player. Played for 7 years, from 6th grade to graduation from high school. For quite a while, I was the only chick trombone player. Boy, that was fun. Had to quit wearing skirts to school. The boys using the slides to lift my dresses got annoying after a while. They didn’t start treating me nicely until they figured out that chick trombonists can do cool things with their lips. Cool things that boys like very, very much. Not that that had anything to do with the OP, but I just felt I had to share. 😃 > [@](#): > > Trombonists offer a joint. Why the d&r, **brad\_d**? It’s true. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2001, 3:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trombonists-a-question-for-you/89132/46 "2001-10-26T03:18:14Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Persephone \* > **chick trombonists can do cool things with their lips. Cool things that boys like very, very much.** Okay, I’m gonna read that again, then go back and click on the link to the Melba Liston-at-22 photo. Scuse me for several minutes. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Bad\_Astronomer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f05b48/32.png) [@The\_Bad\_Astronomer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Bad_Astronomer)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2001, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trombonists-a-question-for-you/89132/47 "2001-10-26T03:54:36Z")
**Chronos** , how many astronomer/brass players are there on this boards anyway? I played bass trombone for about 20 years (yeah, twenty). I stopped when I got my degree; the last semester was too tough to play anymore. I was in a swing orchestra, and I am here to tell you, the trombone was invented for swing. Most damn fun I’ve had playing the horn. What amazed me was how I was able to stay in tune with a band that was constantly shifting in pitch (and here I mean not just swing, but in orchestral and concert band playing as well). Being able to feel the position is one thing, but actually correcting it by a tiny fraction of a centimeter on the fly, while playing notes… I always wondered how I _did_ that. It’s weird. ---
**Author:** ![evilhanz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba8739/32.png) [@evilhanz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/evilhanz)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2001, 7:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trombonists-a-question-for-you/89132/48 "2001-10-26T07:22:07Z")
Another long-time trombonist slash physics-astronomy guy checking in. There’s got to be some weird correlation between brass players and scientists. My Astronomy professors (and any brass playing students) put on an annual brass ensemble. It was quite the sight. I’ve been playing the trombone for about 16 years. At the end of high-school the career choices were: professional trombonist or astrophysicist. 🙂 When kids are just starting out on the trombone, the positions are limited to 1 through 6. Position 7 is out of reach for most and 6 is a stretch. The trick to getting the lower positions is to angle the trombone to the right to extend the arm’s reach. The positions are usually explained as follows: 1. All the way in. 2. When your hand is on the slide, extending the tips of your fingers should put them just before the bell. 3. Go halfway between 1 and 3, and then bring the slide in a tad. 4. The bumper end of the slide should be aligned with the bell. 5. add about one hand length to position 4 6. add about one hand length to position 5 7. Go out as far as you can 🙂 The actual measurements on a standard horn go something like this: 1:0" 2:3" 3:6.5" 4:10" 5:14" 6:18" 7:23" Some teachers mark the slide for new students and provide a mouthpiece with a bore that’s far too small. Infrequent cleaning keeps the slide from performing as it was intended and enforces the tendency to lock the slide in position. This is foolish, because IMHO, proper slide position is all ear. Practice will give the aspiring trombonist a good feel for the proper positions. Good embouchure is certainly a prerequisite for playing the instrument well. However, both can’t save you if you don’t know the notes sound wrong and adjust your slide position and embouchure accordingly. You can react more quickly to a poorly formed note by moving the slide slightly than by relaxing or tightening your embouchure. (It’s less tiring, too!) If you stick to rigid slide placement, you’ll never be more than an amateur. The slide position can vary from day to day and from the beginning of a session to the end depending on the temperature of the horn, environmental conditions, and fatigue in the facial muscles. The same note in a different octave can be in a subtely different place. As a general rule, the higher the octave, the tighter the slide position. For example, an E-natural is in straight second, a high E is in raised second. Throw in the capability of playing the same note in multiple positions and triggers to turn a C horn into an F horn and you’ve got yourself a complex instrument that is easy to play, but difficult to play _well_. On the silliness side, I was never a class clown, quite the opposite, but I used to delight in torturing my fellow band members by instructing my section to warm-up with a series of polkas. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![evilhanz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba8739/32.png) [@evilhanz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/evilhanz)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2001, 7:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trombonists-a-question-for-you/89132/49 "2001-10-26T07:24:12Z")
> [@](#): > > add about one hand length Actually, that’s hand _width_ ---
**Author:** ![flodnak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/838e76/32.png) [@flodnak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flodnak)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2001, 7:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trombonists-a-question-for-you/89132/50 "2001-10-26T07:37:59Z")
Yup. Another trombonist here. And I did start to study physics and astronomy in college until I became fascinated by the Dark Side, a.k.a. linguistics. Valve trombones, I’d just like to add, are an abomination before the Lord. ---
**Author:** ![Ellen\_Cherry](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellen_cherry/32/3600_2.png) [@Ellen\_Cherry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ellen_Cherry)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2001, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trombonists-a-question-for-you/89132/51 "2001-10-26T16:18:49Z")
> [@](#): > > Tubists get stuck with just "oom"s, with Frenches picking up the "pah"s. Anyone remember the mind-numbing “Pomp and Circumstance” every graduation? There was a middle section that could be played over and over til all the graduates marched in. The French line was the same repetitive pah to the lower-brass’ oom. I swear I could play that right now. Or in my sleep. And I graduated from high school in 1981. Speaking of that, insprired by this thread – yesterday I asked a grade-school kid at my daughter’s school if I could borrow his trumpet for a quick sec. **:::drum roll::: I, Ellen, blew a C-scale for the first time in 20 years!!** _Bowing, bowing_ Thank you very much. Much to my chagrin, however, I couldn’t get the Notre Dame Victory March to come out. That was our high-school fight song. How many billions of times did I play that? Or all those other “hey-hey-hey, goodbye” type songs for basketball games? ---
**Author:** ![rackensack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e5b9ba/32.png) [@rackensack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rackensack)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2001, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trombonists-a-question-for-you/89132/52 "2001-10-26T17:40:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by brad\_d \* > **Many folks whose primary instrument is the euphonium decide to take up trombone as a secondary instrument - mostly out of a desire to eat, as euph jobs are far more scarce.** You can say that again. One of the biggest surprises in my life was walking down a side street in Vail, Colorado, passing a Wall Street Journal vending box, and seeing a front page story about a professional euphonium player. A whole lot of the story was about the other instruments he’d had to learn to stay steadily employed. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by brad\_d \* > \*\*A euphonium plays in essentially the same range, and uses essentially the same size mouthpiece, so the choice is natural enough. > > I happened to see a survey of euph players who’d learned to double on trombone, and one of the questions was something like “what was the hardest aspect of learning the 'bone?” As it turned out, the most commonly reported answer was “getting used to the higher back-pressure” - slide manipulation was a bit down the list. This would seem to imply that, as a group, they didn’t find it that tough to learn. > > . . . > In the hands of a good player, the trombone is one of the easiest brasses to play in tune. I’ve spent perhaps 15 minutes in my entire life fooling around with a trombone (I play tuba), and I was starting to get the hang of it even then. Not that I sounded _good_, but any means, but I could get the slide at least close to where it needed to be. As others have said, though, 6th and 7th positions were largely guesswork. > \*\* I can vouch for this. I was never any great shakes as a euphonium player, but I was able to pick up a trombone and at least play in tune without any trouble. ---
**Author:** ![rackensack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e5b9ba/32.png) [@rackensack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rackensack)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2001, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trombonists-a-question-for-you/89132/53 "2001-10-26T17:54:15Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by OxyMoron \* > \*\*But there’s kinda a limited repertoire, y’know? Especially in school band music, which relegates bass clef instruments (euphonium, trombone, etc.) to a really boring oom-pah line. You really don’t get to do anything remotely interesting until you’re quite good, and I didn’t have the patience for that. \*\* Oh, I don’t know about that. There’s Holst’s _First Suite in E-flat major for military band_, with some really nice euphonium melody lines in the second movement, and there’s the trio of practically every Sousa march, where the euphonium gets the melody, there’s . . . did I mention Holst and Sousa? ---
**Author:** ![JessEnigma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/cdc98d/32.png) [@JessEnigma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JessEnigma)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2001, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trombonists-a-question-for-you/89132/54 "2001-10-26T19:56:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Ellen \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > Tubists get stuck with just "oom"s, with Frenches picking up the "pah"s. > > Anyone remember the mind-numbing “Pomp and Circumstance” every graduation? There was a middle section that could be played over and over til all the graduates marched in. The French line was the same repetitive pah to the lower-brass’ oom. I swear I could play that right now. Or in my sleep. And I graduated from high school in 1981. > \*\* Bah. I have the super-repetitive, but extremely important melody in Pomp and Circumstance in my school’s arrangement. The french horns could take a nap, the trombones could take a nap, the tubas could take a nap, but not the euphoniums. Oh, no. I have to remain conscious for all of graduation to play my part. Nobody misses the ooms. Actually, I don’t have very many ooms. I did once…now, I just have utterly essential parts that require one person to outplay an entire section of trumpets. I wish I had the ooms. jessica ---
**Author:** ![lawoot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/35a633/32.png) [@lawoot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lawoot)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2001, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trombonists-a-question-for-you/89132/55 "2001-10-26T20:05:13Z")
[oldjoke] A Trombone player and a turtle are sitting by the side of the road in Texas. What is the difference between them? The Turtle has a gig. [/oldjoke] ---
**Author:** ![rackensack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e5b9ba/32.png) [@rackensack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rackensack)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2001, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trombonists-a-question-for-you/89132/56 "2001-10-26T20:18:19Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Ellen \* > \*\*Much to my chagrin, however, I couldn’t get the Notre Dame Victory March to come out. That was our high-school fight song. How many billions of times did I play that? Or all those other “hey-hey-hey, goodbye” type songs for basketball games? \*\* I attended two different high schools, one for three years, my final year at another. Both used “On, Wisconsin” as their fight song. Maddeningly, the second used a much simpler, dippier arrangement that was annoyingly simple, even for a mediocre musician like myself. ---
**Author:** ![DaToad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/67e7ee/32.png) [@DaToad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DaToad)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2001, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trombonists-a-question-for-you/89132/57 "2001-10-26T21:21:39Z")
One more “bonist” checking in. Played from 4th grade until my junior year in HS, when I quit to play football. (My macho mistake, but that’s another story.) My HS marching band had some pretty cool gigs, and being a member of the band was held in high esteem by the student body. We played a half time show at a, (then LA), Ram/Eagles football game and actually put on a better show than the USC marching band. But back to the question. Others have defined the whereabouts of the positions, but the final adjustment was by ear, and practice, practice, practice. Goofballs? Why, I very seldom used the slide to poke someone. Well, maybe sometimes I would gently tap the back of the chair of that clarinet babe that sat in front of me.😉 Playing the Tb was one of the best experiences of my life, and as I look back, I’m sad that I stopped playing. Jack T. was a hero! ---
**Author:** ![Balance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Balance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balance)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2001, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trombonists-a-question-for-you/89132/58 "2001-10-26T22:03:49Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by rackensack \* > Both used “On, Wisconsin” as their fight song. Maddeningly, the second used a much simpler, dippier arrangement that was annoyingly simple, even for a mediocre musician like myself. Sounds like the arrangement we used. The trombone part, as written, actually made the song _much_ worse somehow. We improvised our own version around bits of the trumpet part and the few good bits of the trombone part. On the brass/scientist correlation–I’m an engineer, but I dabble in physics. ---
**Author:** ![Neil](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/839c29/32.png) [@Neil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Neil)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2001, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trombonists-a-question-for-you/89132/59 "2001-10-26T23:33:59Z")
I play the ultra-phat bass trombone. I seem to remember people telling me I wasn’t cool or I’d never get girls, but the hottest chick I’ve ever dated- trombone chick. Hah. Too bad I had to screw that up by going a couple of states over for college. -Neil [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trombonists-a-question-for-you/89132.md?page=2)