# True facts that movies have taught you **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [January 24, 2011, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/true-facts-that-movies-have-taught-you/568811 "2011-01-24T17:55:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 11
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2011, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/true-facts-that-movies-have-taught-you/568811/201 "2011-01-27T03:45:01Z")
Any little tidbit that anybody tells you about somebody will later become very significant. Though most cars explode when they go off of a cliff, most can jump 20 yards and land hard on their belly yet still be perfectly drivable. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2011, 3:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/true-facts-that-movies-have-taught-you/568811/202 "2011-01-27T03:50:57Z")
> [@Wheelz](#): > > And if you turn on your TV at home, the news report relevant to your situation will be on _right now_, not after the commercial or the lottery drawing or the fluff piece about the water-skiing squirrel. Great, now I want to see a water-skiing squirrel. ---
**Author:** ![42fish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/4/b487fb/32.png) [@42fish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/42fish)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2011, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/true-facts-that-movies-have-taught-you/568811/203 "2011-01-27T03:59:49Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > Great, now I want to see a water-skiing squirrel. https://www.youtube.com/embed/2xxKwesCKJk?feature=oembed&wmode=opaque ---
**Author:** ![AnalogSignal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/analogsignal/32/1085_2.png) [@AnalogSignal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AnalogSignal)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2011, 5:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/true-facts-that-movies-have-taught-you/568811/204 "2011-01-27T05:17:16Z")
Even though they both carry guns, the battle between the good guy and bad guy ultimately comes down to hand-to-hand combat right near the ledge of a building or cliff. In SciFi, bad aliens are slimy and disgusting looking. Good aliens are cute and cuddly. Smart people always wear glasses. Anyone who dies in the presence of their relatives always says something meaningful before kicking the bucket. ---
**Author:** ![Koxinga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/4af34b/32.png) [@Koxinga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Koxinga)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2011, 5:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/true-facts-that-movies-have-taught-you/568811/205 "2011-01-27T05:52:10Z")
No matter how threatening to the state a recent rebellion or abortive coup might have been, a country’s rightful monarch will always let a traitorous conspirator go rather than executing them, because living with themselves will be punishment enough. And executing them would make the king/queen no better than they. And stuff. It’s OK, the traitor almost always will be blown up or killed by his own evil contrivances just a few minutes later. ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2011, 6:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/true-facts-that-movies-have-taught-you/568811/206 "2011-01-27T06:00:18Z")
Cars are bulletproof, especially when the doors are open. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2011, 6:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/true-facts-that-movies-have-taught-you/568811/207 "2011-01-27T06:20:05Z")
> [@42fish](#): > > [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2xxKwesCKJk](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2xxKwesCKJk) I was right; I DID want to see a water-skiing squirrel! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2011, 6:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/true-facts-that-movies-have-taught-you/568811/208 "2011-01-27T06:24:25Z")
> [@GuanoLad](#): > > Cars are bulletproof, especially when the doors are open. Also end tables, couches, doors and walls, and paperback books, no matter how flimsy they appear to be. ---
**Author:** ![Locrian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/locrian/32/14146_2.png) [@Locrian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Locrian)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2011, 9:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/true-facts-that-movies-have-taught-you/568811/209 "2011-01-27T09:44:04Z")
The more ornate a mansion is, the more likely it is to be shot up with thousands upon thousands of bullets. ---
**Author:** ![Superhal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Superhal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superhal)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2011, 9:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/true-facts-that-movies-have-taught-you/568811/210 "2011-01-27T09:51:28Z")
You have a 50/50 chance of getting amnesia from any head injury. All scientists explain things as though they were talking to kindergartners. If they don’t, at least one person listening will say, “Explain it in English, Doc.” The absolute worst place to hide during a zombie apocalypse is in a fortified bunker with heavily armed policemen or soldiers. The absolute best place to be is with a group of rag-tag survivors who keep moving. You have to kill the head vampire. The USB standard is universal, including alien ships. ---
**Author:** ![DrFidelius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drfidelius/32/3447_2.png) [@DrFidelius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrFidelius)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2011, 12:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/true-facts-that-movies-have-taught-you/568811/211 "2011-01-27T12:36:39Z")
> [@rachelellogram](#): > > … > That kids can get away with flipping Filipino knives and calling bad guys cunts in front of their parents (from _Kickass_). > … Okay, that is the one biggest problem I had with the film version of _Kick-Ass_. Hit-Girl’s language made perfect sense in the comic, given the characterization of Big Daddy, but Cage (apparantly) refused to play Big Daddy as the psychopath he should have been. ---
**Author:** ![Wheelz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wheelz/32/5718_2.png) [@Wheelz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wheelz)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2011, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/true-facts-that-movies-have-taught-you/568811/212 "2011-01-27T15:06:31Z")
> [@Superhal](#): > > All scientists explain things as though they were talking to kindergartners. If they don’t, at least one person listening will say, “Explain it in English, Doc.” This holds true even if they are talking only to other scientists who should be familiar with the work. **Scientist 1:** “Now I’ll place the sample in the spectrometer. The light patterns reflected back from the material will allow us to determine its composition.” **Scientist 2:** “Uh, yeah… I know. I work here too, remember?” ---
**Author:** ![A\_Dodgy\_Dude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a87d85/32.png) [@A\_Dodgy\_Dude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/A_Dodgy_Dude)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2011, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/true-facts-that-movies-have-taught-you/568811/213 "2011-01-27T15:10:09Z")
> [@Hampshire](#): > > If you’re playing hooky from school or work NEVER go to a baseball game. You will have the unfortunate luck of catching a foul ball live on television and your boss or teacher will be watching the game at that exact moment. “No batter! No batter! No batter! No batter! Suh-wing, batter!” ---
**Author:** ![shiftless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9c0ed/32.png) [@shiftless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shiftless)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2011, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/true-facts-that-movies-have-taught-you/568811/214 "2011-01-27T15:10:09Z")
> [@rachelellogram](#): > > The First Law of Hollywood Karma: that bad things happen to bad people, and good things happen to good people. If a bad thing happens to you, it’s because you’re actually a bad person. Only true in the latter parts of the movie. If bad things happen to you at the beginning of a story, rest assured, the bad guys will get what’s coming to them and more. And the wife and child you lost will be replaced by a younger, hotter women who will understand your pain. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2011, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/true-facts-that-movies-have-taught-you/568811/215 "2011-01-27T15:16:32Z")
All lawyers are at least incompetent and probably corrupt. Most of them will kill to cover that up. All spies are able to pick locks, decode encrypted documents at a glance, and kill legions of of soldiers in hand to hand combat without breaking a sweat. No one, EVER, has a crash after an adrenaline rush. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2011, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/true-facts-that-movies-have-taught-you/568811/216 "2011-01-27T15:24:47Z")
> [@Superhal](#): > > You have a 50/50 chance of getting amnesia from any head injury. Other than that, there’s nothing to worry about. If you want to temporarily immobilize a guy without killing him, just tap him on the head with a blunt instrument, or, if you’re tougher than that, just one big sock on the jaw. He will go out like a light and shortly awaken, perhaps with amnesia, but at any rate with no concussion or skull fracture or anything more than a mild headache. [Does not apply in black comedies.](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eating_Raoul) ---
**Author:** ![Tom\_Scud](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f08c70/32.png) [@Tom\_Scud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Scud)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2011, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/true-facts-that-movies-have-taught-you/568811/217 "2011-01-27T15:27:07Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > All lawyers are at least incompetent and probably corrupt. Most of them will kill to cover that up. Except for some of the young (and extremely attractive) ones, newly out of law school, who spend most of their time working on pro bono cases. And by “working on pro bono cases” I don’t mean photocopying stuff or reading stuff out of the firm’s law library; I mean sneaking into buildings after hours, being shot at, and so forth. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2011, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/true-facts-that-movies-have-taught-you/568811/218 "2011-01-27T15:27:57Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > All spies are able to pick locks, decode encrypted documents at a glance, and kill legions of of soldiers in hand to hand combat without breaking a sweat. [Always wondered about that . . .](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=523190) ---
**Author:** ![stegon66](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee59a6/32.png) [@stegon66](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stegon66)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2011, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/true-facts-that-movies-have-taught-you/568811/219 "2011-01-27T16:41:52Z")
> [@](#): > > While being chased by the bad guys the hero can run great distances - including up and down stairs and jumping over gaps between buildings - without getting tired or winded. Heck, after the chase is over the hero doesn’t even breathe hard. There are exceptions to this. See Kurosawa’s _Stray Dog_ and the Korean serial killer film _The Chaser_ for instance. It should be noted that in the latter both main characters take serious beatings and while LOOKING like they just took a serious beating, still manage to get up and function pretty much normally. Shit, punch me once and I’d be crying like a little bitch for a week! 😃 Car chases in movies usually end with the bad guy’s car hitting a parked car. Bad guy’s car will then go rocketing through the air as if it had gone up a ramp at a high speed. Characters ALWAYS pull the slide back on their pistols before going into battle. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2011, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/true-facts-that-movies-have-taught-you/568811/220 "2011-01-27T18:07:09Z")
It turns out that every obstacle to a speeding car is a either a ramp that will launch it, or is made of styrofoam that is be brushed aside like… styrofoam. And when buses have to drive at least 55 mph, they can make a right angle turn and _look_ like they are moving at 15 mph, but they will still be doing 55. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/true-facts-that-movies-have-taught-you/568811.md?page=10) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/true-facts-that-movies-have-taught-you/568811.md?page=12)