# True facts that movies have taught you **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [January 24, 2011, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/true-facts-that-movies-have-taught-you/568811 "2011-01-24T17:55:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2011, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/true-facts-that-movies-have-taught-you/568811/61 "2011-01-24T22:21:18Z")
> [@Sampiro](#): > > Especially when the woman has a makeover, which consists of taking off her glasses and putting on a non-baggy dress. and straightens her hair. Always curly to straight. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2011, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/true-facts-that-movies-have-taught-you/568811/62 "2011-01-24T22:40:58Z")
Pluckiness and moxy will always beat preparation, training and natural athleticism. All superior technology has one fatal flaw that will propagate through the entire system once exploited. One can survive a fall from any distance, so long as it is broken by any object prior to striking the Earth. Scafolding, concrete ledge, skylight, stained glass cathedral ceiling, parked car, whatever. It is only contact with the ground that kills you. You must either choose between your career and your family/love of your life. You can’t have both. inevitably you will be forced between ditching that presentation, promotion or big deal that will make or break your career and missing some inane activity with your 6 year old daughter that she will not remember in a week. Because IRL, high powered lawyers, investment bankers, business executive and whatnot never have families. ---
**Author:** ![lorene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/65b543/32.png) [@lorene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lorene)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2011, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/true-facts-that-movies-have-taught-you/568811/63 "2011-01-24T22:54:38Z")
> [@MPB\_in\_Salt\_Lake](#): > > The chunky, unemployed, binge-drinking, bed-wetting, chronically masturbating (but always hip to great music and literature, and always really, really funny) best friend of the leading man in any romantic comedy will eventually hook up with the super hott, incredibly wealthy and successful best friend of the leading woman, even though they have despised each other since the moment their respective friends first hooked up. _ **Especially** _ if they have despised each other from moment one. The more polarized they are, the harder they will fall in love. > [@msmith537](#): > > P > > You must either choose between your career and your family/love of your life. You can’t have both. inevitably you will be forced between ditching that presentation, promotion or big deal that will make or break your career and missing some inane activity with your 6 year old daughter that she will not remember in a week. Because IRL, high powered lawyers, investment bankers, business executive and whatnot never have families. It’s OK, though. Eventually the CEO or the judge or whatnot will be won over by your charm and commitment to your family and reinstate you, often admonishing those around you that you, truly, have a keener understanding of what is important in life. ---
**Author:** ![Death\_of\_Rats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a6a055/32.png) [@Death\_of\_Rats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Death_of_Rats)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2011, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/true-facts-that-movies-have-taught-you/568811/64 "2011-01-24T22:58:09Z")
> [@JohnT](#): > > I learned how one is able to jump from an explosion, which I find a helpful skill in my day-to-day life. > > Apparently if you put a log between you and the bomb, you can outjump a _nuclear_ explosion if you’re baddassed enough (cite: _Predator_), but I have yet to have a nuke blow up close enough for me to test this one… I just want to say that this has worked for me every time I have tried it. Also, if the blast is too big to jump from, you can lock yourself in an old upright freezer and ride it out that way, but you tend to get bruised a little doing that. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2011, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/true-facts-that-movies-have-taught-you/568811/65 "2011-01-24T23:17:28Z")
Sassy gay guys and sassy black women can say things that would get anybody else slapped, fired, or sued for sexual harassment. (One wonders if a sassy gay guy and a sassy black guy quarreled what the outcome would be.) ---
**Author:** ![Bill\_Door](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/50afbb/32.png) [@Bill\_Door](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bill_Door)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2011, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/true-facts-that-movies-have-taught-you/568811/66 "2011-01-24T23:22:00Z")
> [@msmith537](#): > > (snip)You must either choose between your career and your family/love of your life. You can’t have both. inevitably you will be forced between ditching that presentation, promotion or big deal that will make or break your career and missing some inane activity with your 6 year old daughter that she will not remember in a week. Because IRL, high powered lawyers, investment bankers, business executive and whatnot never have families. This one is true. I’ve told many people that if the company had wanted them to have a family there’d have been one in that packet they got when they came to work here. The look on their faces when they realize I’m not joking is kind of sad. ---
**Author:** ![fachverwirrt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/94ad74/32.png) [@fachverwirrt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fachverwirrt)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2011, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/true-facts-that-movies-have-taught-you/568811/67 "2011-01-24T23:25:06Z")
In the future, all spaceships will travel in one plane, and all cultures will spontaneously adopt the same arbitrary direction as “up”. This is important, as if your ship with its artificially produced gravity should happen to tilt, everything will slide around [OK, that last bit may have only happened in WALL-E, but man that bugged me]. The universal translator will not only proved real-time, syntactically perfect translations for any race you happen to meet, but will also maintain the speakers vocal timbre and tone, operate in any scenario–despite the obvious lack of any actual device (like, say, during an act of coitus with a blue-skinned alien)–and make the speaker’s mouth move in the shape of the listener’s language. Also, you can apparently occasionally make it not work for the other person, at least if you are speaking Klingon or French. The laws of physics can be circumvented by installing a device to counteract whichever effect is currently inconveniencing you, like an inertial damper, or Heisenberg compensator. Also, while inertial dampers work perfectly when instantaneously accelerating to several times the speed of light, during a space battle, any weapons impact will be sufficient to throw you across the room. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2011, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/true-facts-that-movies-have-taught-you/568811/68 "2011-01-24T23:31:08Z")
> [@Foggy](#): > > Disaster movies have taught me that: > > The pivotal government official will be a hands on action guy (almost always a guy) who will jump out of helicopters to rescue people. > > The person (government official or business leader) who attempts to prevent, or interferes with warnings or evacuations will likely die when the disaster does strike. > > No matter how rare or unlikely a particular disaster is, the government (or sometimes a business) will just happen to have extra space shuttles, nukes, lasers, or untested experimental equipment lying around that will save the day. > > Even in the era of 24 hour news networks and Twitter, the government will get to the scene of a foreshadowing disaster first and manage to keep it quite, at least for a while until they come up with a cover story. > > A regular Joe will be right, while the scientist with years of education & experience will be wrong. And regardless of how much evidence Action Guy has collected on the impending disaster, his supervisor will ignore it, tell him not to upset the locals unduly, and take him off the case. ---
**Author:** ![Edwardina](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5f8ce5/32.png) [@Edwardina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Edwardina)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2011, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/true-facts-that-movies-have-taught-you/568811/69 "2011-01-25T00:50:26Z")
> [@silenus](#): > > Movies have taught me that shoulder wounds are minor, you can recover from a beating in less than 15 minutes with little swelling or bruising, and women will leave their fiances at the altar if you are charming and goofy enough. Well, that last one is actually true. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2011, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/true-facts-that-movies-have-taught-you/568811/70 "2011-01-25T00:56:54Z")
Amnesia is a very common, temporary malady. ---
**Author:** ![Labtrash](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/labtrash/32/528_2.png) [@Labtrash](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Labtrash)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2011, 1:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/true-facts-that-movies-have-taught-you/568811/71 "2011-01-25T01:26:54Z")
It is required that all trips to the grocery store involve the purchase of a large loaf of French / Italian Bread, and at least one head of lettuce / celery stalk. Paper bags only, please. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2011, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/true-facts-that-movies-have-taught-you/568811/72 "2011-01-25T01:39:19Z")
The worst villains cannot be killed by fire, gunshot or explosion. They must be impaled by objects at least 3 inches thick and long enough to pass entirely through a body. Even your pet (which is a yellow Lab) can outrun or outjump an explosion. All presidents used to be fighter pilots. All smoking hot women are in relationships with total douchebags who they know are total douchebags, but feel stuck with until someone comes along and tells them they aren’t. You will always be able to take out the villain’s henchmen with one shot each, though you will shoot them a dozen times just to watch them twitch. But you will have to expend thousands of rounds in a futile effort to shoot the villain, and ultimately have to chase him up a tall building or tower before sending him plunging to an impalement death below. Your supervisor hates you, is utterly incompetent, and is constantly putting obstacles in front of you to make you look bad and fail. But you won’t. The sweet looking chick with the charming accent is a foreign princess with stern but loving royal parents. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2011, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/true-facts-that-movies-have-taught-you/568811/73 "2011-01-25T01:40:21Z")
> [@needscoffee](#): > > Amnesia is a very common, temporary malady. That strangely can be cured by the same thing that caused it (a bump on the head). ---
**Author:** ![Musicat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/musicat/32/20189_2.png) [@Musicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Musicat)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2011, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/true-facts-that-movies-have-taught-you/568811/74 "2011-01-25T01:41:32Z")
> [@Dallas\_Jones](#): > > Movies have taught me that when your gun runs out of bullets you should just toss it aside, it’s useless. But it doesn’t run out of bullets until the script calls for it. > [@Exapno Mapcase](#): > > You should never spend money on a computer mouse because nobody in history has ever used one. Everything on a computer can be accomplished by typing furiously… …and never making a mistake or needing to find the backspace or delete key, because that would slow the plot. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2011, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/true-facts-that-movies-have-taught-you/568811/75 "2011-01-25T01:44:48Z")
Every evil computer virus made to crash America’s infrastructure has a convenient countdown displayed on whichever monitor the hero chooses to sit at. ---
**Author:** ![MOIDALIZE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@MOIDALIZE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MOIDALIZE)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2011, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/true-facts-that-movies-have-taught-you/568811/76 "2011-01-25T01:56:08Z")
Any weekend spent with old buddies will result in everyone blacking out and engaging in hijinks that you’ll only be able to remember by piecing together disparate pieces of evidence found in the course of sobering up. At least one of your friends will end up with a tattoo or married. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2011, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/true-facts-that-movies-have-taught-you/568811/77 "2011-01-25T02:16:00Z")
And many of them will end up gruesomely murdered. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2011, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/true-facts-that-movies-have-taught-you/568811/78 "2011-01-25T02:16:52Z")
> [@Labtrash](#): > > It is required that all trips to the grocery store involve the purchase of a large loaf of French / Italian Bread, and at least one head of lettuce / celery stalk. > > Paper bags only, please. Heh - a commercial came on a half an hour ago, and the woman put her paper bag with the celery sticking out the top on the counter. I said to my husband, “Where’s her baguette? Doesn’t she understand the rules?” * * * If you ever meet someone with an irresistible desire to explain his motives and actions to you to his own detriment, he’s a super-villain. ---
**Author:** ![handsomeharry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e9c0ed/32.png) [@handsomeharry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handsomeharry)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2011, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/true-facts-that-movies-have-taught-you/568811/79 "2011-01-25T02:33:13Z")
All policewomen are Milfs or better. The same thing goes for female criminals. If you are in a shouting argument, people will always let you have your say before they speak. The police lieutenant/commissioner is always with the public, and against the hard hitting detectives. There are plenty of cops with gangsters for buddies. All beautiful people have beautiful spouses. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2011, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/true-facts-that-movies-have-taught-you/568811/80 "2011-01-25T02:47:14Z")
There are no ugly people at all except for a few on Skid Row and in homeless shelters. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/true-facts-that-movies-have-taught-you/568811.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/true-facts-that-movies-have-taught-you/568811.md?page=5)