# Truely Bad Song Lyrics **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 2, 2001, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truely-bad-song-lyrics/56462 "2001-03-02T04:26:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Gundy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b782af/32.png) [@Gundy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gundy)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2001, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truely-bad-song-lyrics/56462/21 "2001-03-02T19:17:55Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jekeira \* > \*\*And then there’s that other godawful early-80s rock ballad, the one about the lonely prize-fighter? I don’t know all the words to this or who sang it, because it makes me cringe whenever I hear it: > > I wanna hold you til I die > Til we both break down and cry > I wanna hold you > Til the fear in me SUBSIDES!! \*\* Cold chills. This little piece of hell is brought to you by Dan Hill, “Sometimes When We Touch”. ---
**Author:** ![YWalker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/6f9a4e/32.png) [@YWalker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YWalker)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2001, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truely-bad-song-lyrics/56462/22 "2001-03-02T19:41:52Z")
I’m with BigStar303 ---- it’s the lyrics that don’t make sense that drive me nuts. For example, Faith Hill’s “The Way You Love Me”: If I could grant You one wish I wish you could see the way you kiss… Excuse me, you selfish bitch, but doesn’t that fall more into the category of granting YOURSELF your own wish? And don’t get me started on those evil mindgames you play with your father on those Alltel commercials… ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2001, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truely-bad-song-lyrics/56462/23 "2001-03-02T19:48:56Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Ukulele Ike \* > \*\*Now…“Star Dust” is pretty damn awful, but “Shadow”…yow! Sounds like something scribbled in the notebook margin by a 13-year-old schoolgirl. > > Nonetheless, a couple of great songs, right? \*\* If you want to send a message, call Western Union." –Samuel Goldwyn Face it. Most lyrics are written to scan and fit the mood of the song. In fact, a lot of great songs have lyrics that are pure treacle: Yesterday All my troubles seemed so far away Now it looks as though they’re here to stay Oh I believe in yesterday Pure crap right? But it’s the most-recorded song of all time. If a lyric triggers the proper emotional response in you, then the lyricist has done right by the song. If not, it’s best to fall back on “it’s got a good beat and you can dance to it.” ---
**Author:** ![BigStar303](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/dec6dc/32.png) [@BigStar303](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigStar303)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2001, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truely-bad-song-lyrics/56462/24 "2001-03-02T19:56:35Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by drpepper \* > \*\*What? No one’s yet mentioned that pathetic, once-overplayed song [have suppressed memory of actual title and artist] called something like "I’ve Been to Paradise’? Circa, what, 1979? > > “I’ve been undressed by kings, > and I’ve seen some things, > That a woman’s not supposed to see” > > and then some shallow crap including something about “unborn children”. AAAARRRGGH! I can hardly stomach thinking about that song. \*\* Sorry to unsuppress the details, but that would be “I’ve Never Been to Me” by Charlene (singers with only one name are nearly always bad news…and yes, that includes Sting!). First released in 1977, it only made it to #97 on the charts. Regrettably, someone had the bright idea to rerelease it in 1982, by which time America had got five additional years of bad taste under its belt. It promptly shot all the way to #3. And the kicker is, it’s on Motown – surely the worst song in that fabled label’s history. ---
**Author:** ![BigStar303](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/dec6dc/32.png) [@BigStar303](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigStar303)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2001, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truely-bad-song-lyrics/56462/25 "2001-03-02T20:07:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Hometownboy \* > \*\*Cast your mind back to the bland band that took the name of our country and about which the \*\* Rolling Stone Record Review \*\* said “all their albums are lame, without exception.” > > Yes, we are talking about America and the infamous Horse with No Name. > > ``` > In the desert you can remember your name > > ``` > > \*\* For there ain’t no one for to give you no pain \*\* > > My good Lord, that’s ghastly. And a department of redundancy department speciman to boot. \*\* No argument that it’s a ghastly song, music- and lyrics-wise. And your passage could easily be cited for its stunning TRIPLE negative. But to pick a nit, yes, there are two “for”'s, but this is not really a good example of redundancy. The first “for” is used in the sense of “because.” And “for to…” is an old folkie idiom, used by no less than Bob Dylan in “Mr. Tambourine Man”: I’m ready to go anywhere I’m ready for to fade Into my own parade… There are other examples of this usage, but I can’t call them to mind. Sounds corny and foreign to our ears now, but there is some precedent for it. ---
**Author:** ![nineiron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/e56c9b/32.png) [@nineiron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nineiron)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2001, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truely-bad-song-lyrics/56462/26 "2001-03-02T20:15:58Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by BigStar303 \* > \*\* > > From the Marshall Tucker Band’s “Heard It in a Love Song”: > > …(something) (something) just over the hill > I was born a rambler and a gambler > And I guess I always will > > (I always will…_what_? There’s no verb antecedent anywhere to be found for “will.”) > \*\* Yes! I love this song, but have always felt the same thing: “I always will what?” A friend and I, when we hear this on the radio, sing along: “I was born a rambler and a gambler [I actually thought it was “a roamer and a rambler,” but I’m probably wrong and haven’t heard it in a while] and I guess I always will…be…one.” It sounds pretty funny when you use the tune and pause just right. ---
**Author:** ![Winnowill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/4491bb/32.png) [@Winnowill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winnowill)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2001, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truely-bad-song-lyrics/56462/27 "2001-03-02T20:30:21Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by OrcaChow \* > \*\*Many of the songs are notorious for being cryptic and jam-packed with nonsequiturs. I’d offer one that’s perfectly direct and coherent–and that’s its fault: > > Heart’s **All I Wanna Do is Make Love to You**. > > Truly wretched dreck, a particularly overwrought soap-opera. > It makes me pine for the nonsensical lyrics of “Macarthur Park.” Gimme rainy cake over Heart’s Nineties crap any day. \*\* Aww, man! As soon as I saw the title of this thread, this is what popped into my head (and is, regrettably, still floating around). “You are the flower, and I am the seed. We walked in the garden. We planted a tree.” Beg pardon? Re - “Horse with No Name” Beside the incredibly bad lyrics, there’s the whole premise of the song. Why not just name the damn horse? As a lover of Pink Floyd’s music, may I humbly suggest that David Gilmore, whose guitar ability and whose music-writing ability are not to be questioned, just can’t write lyrics? I submit the lyrics to the song “One Slip”: “…then drowned in desire, our souls on fire/ I led the way to the funeral pyre/ and without a thought of the consequence/ I gave in to my decadence.” Come on, Dave. He and Waters just need to patch up their differences. And, finally, there’s the wonderfully bizarre “Good Morning Starshine” by… well, I forget who it’s by originally, but I have it on a Sarah Brightman CD. It’s really weird hearing Sarah Brightman singing “Glibby glup gloopy, nibby nobby nooby…” ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2001, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truely-bad-song-lyrics/56462/28 "2001-03-02T20:53:52Z")
YWalker: You don’t like the Faith Hill lyrics: For example, Faith Hill’s “The Way You Love Me”: If I could grant You one wish I wish you could see the way you kiss… because you think she’s selfish? I don’t like them because they’re stupid. I imagine her lover actually being granted this wish, then saying: “You wished for WHAT? You could have wished for a million dollars. A BILLION dollars. We could have been the rulers of the world. We could have been immortal. And you wish for a VIDEO CAMERA?!” ---
**Author:** ![Venkman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/ec9cab/32.png) [@Venkman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Venkman)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2001, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truely-bad-song-lyrics/56462/29 "2001-03-02T22:54:47Z")
“But if this ever-changing world in which we live in…” That ALWAYS bugs me! I’m a big Beatles fan and by extension a McCartney fan, and this is my favorite Bond theme by a wide margin, but this just grates on my nerves. Why couldn’t Sir Paul have just dropped that last “in” and held “live” for an extra beat? I’ve sung along with the song while doing just that and it sounds fine! ---
**Author:** ![OrcaChow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/e47c2d/32.png) [@OrcaChow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OrcaChow)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2001, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truely-bad-song-lyrics/56462/30 "2001-03-02T23:30:34Z")
> [@](#): > > And, finally, there’s the wonderfully bizarre “Good Morning Starshine” by… well, I forget who it’s by originally, but I have it on a Sarah Brightman CD. It’s really weird hearing Sarah Brightman singing “Glibby glup gloopy, nibby nobby nooby…” It’s from the stage musical, “Hair.” Oliver MacDermott did a pop cover that got a lot of airplay back in '69. Yeah, hearing Sarah Brightman do the song would sound pretty ridiculous. ---
**Author:** ![dr\_hermes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/dfb087/32.png) [@dr\_hermes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dr_hermes)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2001, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truely-bad-song-lyrics/56462/31 "2001-03-02T23:34:19Z")
About Heart’s “All I Want To Do Is Make Love To You”, am I the only one who questions the morality of this song? ``` The narrator's husband can't get her pregnant (low sperm count?) so she picks up a hitchhiker and takes him to a motel, has a night of adultery and tells him they can never meet again. Then years later, the poor sap sees her with a son- **that looks like him**! So her husband is raising a child that's not his and this hitchhiker has to go through life knowing he has a child he can't see or find out anything about. This woman is not a caring, thoughtful person. As long as she gets a baby.... ``` ---
**Author:** ![nineiron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/e56c9b/32.png) [@nineiron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nineiron)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2001, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truely-bad-song-lyrics/56462/32 "2001-03-02T23:39:37Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Venkman \* > \*\*“But if this ever-changing world in which we live in…” > > That ALWAYS bugs me! I’m a big Beatles fan and by extension a McCartney fan, and this is my favorite Bond theme by a wide margin, but this just grates on my nerves. Why couldn’t Sir Paul have just dropped that last “in” and held “live” for an extra beat? I’ve sung along with the song while doing just that and it sounds fine! \*\* I always thought it was “But if this ever-changing world in which we’re livin’.” Maybe I’m wrong, but that’s what it sounds like to me. Makes a bit more sense. ---
**Author:** ![Jodi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7feea3/32.png) [@Jodi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jodi)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2001, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truely-bad-song-lyrics/56462/33 "2001-03-02T23:42:20Z")
For your reading pleasure, in order: [http://www.armory.com/~peterr/humor/Dave\_Barry/921107-bad-song-survey](http://www.armory.com/~peterr/humor/Dave_Barry/921107-bad-song-survey) [http://www.armory.com/~peterr/humor/Dave\_Barry/920124-bad-song-survey](http://www.armory.com/~peterr/humor/Dave_Barry/920124-bad-song-survey) I still have to vote for “Muskrat Love”: “And they whirl and they twirl and they tango Singing and jinging a jango Floating like the heavens above Looks like Muskrat Love” Aside from the whole muskrat thing, WTF is a jango??? And what is “jinging?” ---
**Author:** ![Hometownboy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/5e9695/32.png) [@Hometownboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hometownboy)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2001, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truely-bad-song-lyrics/56462/34 "2001-03-03T01:19:39Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by BigStar303 \* > \*\*But to pick a nit, yes, there are two “for”'s, but this is not really a good example of redundancy. > > The first “for” is used in the sense of “because.” And “for to…” is an old folkie idiom, used by no less than Bob Dylan in “Mr. Tambourine Man”: > > I’m ready to go anywhere > I’m ready for to fade > Into my own parade… > > There are other examples of this usage, but I can’t call them to mind. Sounds corny and foreign to our ears now, but there is some precedent for it. \*\* Point well taken, \*\* BigStar303 \*\* and, as an old Kingston Trio, Limeliters, Brothers Four, etc. fan, I should have remembered \*\* goin’ away for to leave \*\* with the "honey on the far distant shore. And as for \*\* OrcaChow \*\* I must confess that as a DJ at a very small station in Oregon back in 1969 I held a contest in which the entrants had to write the lyrics of “Good Morning Starshine”. I just had the vision of all those subteens listening over and over to their 45s, trying to transcribe the “glibby glob glooby” nonsensel. IIRC, the grand prize for the winner was a half-dozen 45s from the local record shop. (street value about five bucks) Ah, the memories… ---
**Author:** ![Hue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/94ad74/32.png) [@Hue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hue)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2001, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truely-bad-song-lyrics/56462/35 "2001-03-03T01:43:36Z")
While sacrine, insipid lyrics make me cringe (e.g. “love is a beautiful thing, too bad it makes Micheal Bolton sing”), I must admit that I do like nonsensical lyrics. One of my favorites is Robyn Hitchcock. For example one song called Balloon Man: I was walking up Sixth avenue when Balloon Man came right up to me he was round and fat and spherical with the biggest grin I ever seen he bounced on up toward me but before we could be introduced he blew up very suddenly I guess his name was probably Bruce and I laughed like I always do and I cried like I cry for you and balloon man blew up in my hand he spattered me with tomatoes, hummos, chickpeas and some strips of skin so I made a right on 44th and I washed my hands when I got in and it rained like a slow divorce and I wished I could buy a horse and balloon man blew up in my hand He has another song called unsettled, which just features a whole bunch of unconnected phrases that gives some strange disturbing imagery, but no real sense. Sort of like early morning meetings, but enjoyable. ---
**Author:** ![Odieman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/a87d85/32.png) [@Odieman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odieman)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2001, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truely-bad-song-lyrics/56462/36 "2001-03-03T01:44:55Z")
“You Take My Breath Away” by Rex Smith, a sample of the lyrics follow: You, I don’t know what to say You take my breath away You’re every sone I sing You’re the music that I play And you take my breathj away You, you smile and it’s okay You take my breath away Like water from a spring On a sizzlin’ summer day Oh, you take my breath away Now I must beat my head against a wall to remove this song from it… :shudder: Keith ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2001, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truely-bad-song-lyrics/56462/37 "2001-03-03T02:00:13Z")
Mac Davis’ “Baby, Don’t Get Hooked On Me”: “Girl, you’re a hot-blodded woman-child and it’s warm where you’re touching me.” I guess it takes someone with a LOT of self-esteem to sing this line with a straight face. Of course, he DID sing that song to Miss Piggy on the Muppet Show, so he can be partially forgiven. ---
**Author:** ![Nacho4Sara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Nacho4Sara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nacho4Sara)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2001, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truely-bad-song-lyrics/56462/38 "2001-03-03T02:11:05Z")
I hate everyone who mentioned “All I Wanna Do Is Make Love To You.” I downloaded it from Napster and ended up purging my stomach contents as a symbolic gesture against Heart. If we’re talking about confusing lyrics, I’ve never understood “Landslide” by Stevie Nicks. Especially when I hear her dedicate it to her father. It’s a beautiful song, but the beginning and the end confound me. How is she taking her love _down_ if she’s climbing a mountain? Okay, good stuff about changing seasons and building my life around you and getting older - then the weird shit again. If you see my reflection in the hills, the landslide brought me down? But I thought I saw my reflection _before_ I was brought down before? Now you can see it too? Help. ---
**Author:** ![YWalker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/6f9a4e/32.png) [@YWalker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YWalker)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2001, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truely-bad-song-lyrics/56462/39 "2001-03-03T04:06:12Z")
I’ve been laughing my head off over the evil translations of standard quotes given by [The Burn Maker](http://toy.thespark.com/burn/earl.cgi), as discussed in [this pit thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=62026). Check out the examples in the pit thread, and then try out your least favorite lyrics in the Burn Maker. (You couldn’t possibly make them worse, right?) ---
**Author:** ![BigStar303](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/dec6dc/32.png) [@BigStar303](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigStar303)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2001, 4:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truely-bad-song-lyrics/56462/40 "2001-03-03T04:56:13Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by OrcaChow \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > And, finally, there’s the wonderfully bizarre “Good Morning Starshine” by… well, I forget who it’s by originally, but I have it on a Sarah Brightman CD. It’s really weird hearing Sarah Brightman singing “Glibby glup gloopy, nibby nobby nooby…” > > It’s from the stage musical, “Hair.” Oliver MacDermott did a pop cover that got a lot of airplay back in '69. \*\* Just being anal again, but the artist credit on the label of “Good Morning Starshine” was simply Oliver. The guy’s full name was William Oliver Swofford. Just died within the past year or so. McDermott, IIRC, was one of the three creators/writers of “Hair,” and thus this song. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truely-bad-song-lyrics/56462.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truely-bad-song-lyrics/56462.md?page=3)