# Truely Bad Song Lyrics **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 2, 2001, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truely-bad-song-lyrics/56462 "2001-03-02T04:26:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![BigStar303](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/dec6dc/32.png) [@BigStar303](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigStar303)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2001, 6:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truely-bad-song-lyrics/56462/61 "2001-03-04T06:06:39Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Mr. Cynical \* > \*\*For the utmost pinnacle of bad lyrics, I submit the following: > > Fifteen cents a word to read > A telegram I didn’t need > Said she didn’t care no more > Think I’ll throw it on the floor > > Got your cable just today > Killed my groove, I’ve got to say, hey > > 😃 > > Bonus Points to anyone who knows the artists. \*\* “Western Union,” originally recorded by The Five Americans, a Texas band. Subsequently covered by the British group The Searchers. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Cynical](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ee59a6/32.png) [@Mr.Cynical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Cynical)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2001, 6:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truely-bad-song-lyrics/56462/62 "2001-03-04T06:19:28Z")
Well, I **was** hoping that Aha would stroll in and find it before anyone else did 😃 ---
**Author:** ![DonQuixote](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/cc9497/32.png) [@DonQuixote](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DonQuixote)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2001, 7:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truely-bad-song-lyrics/56462/63 "2001-03-04T07:33:37Z")
_SLAM duh duh duh duh duh duh Let the boys be boys_ I think this song was actually just a joke. They weren’t seriously trying to write a song. I can just see the record producers…“Alright, guys, where are the REAL lyrics?” ---
**Author:** ![betenoir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/258eb7/32.png) [@betenoir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/betenoir)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2001, 12:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truely-bad-song-lyrics/56462/64 "2001-03-04T12:06:31Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by MsWhatsit \* > \*\*nd > > “No one to call him on the phone. Except the Pope maybe in Rome.” > > EXCEPT THE POPE MAYBE IN ROME?? Is that even English? [/B/] Except the Pope, maybe, in Rome. With the exception of one guy, the Pope, who lives in Rome. Possibly. Yeah that’s English. \*\* > [@](#): > > And I’m so sure that if God came down to Earth in the guise of a human (oh dear Lord, analyzing this song in any depth whatsoever is giving me an insta-headache), his first concern would be that there was nobody to call him on the phone. Except the Pope maybe in Rome. Because he would be a poor slob, like one of us. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH! Make it stop! \*\* Well I guess the idea is if God became human he would develop petty concerns about who likes him and who calls him, like we all have. He’d be human. Ummm, and isn’t the question of God coming to Earth in the guise of a human the whole crux (pardon the pun) of Christianity? Sorry, I think those are fairly good lyrics. ---
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2001, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truely-bad-song-lyrics/56462/65 "2001-03-04T13:54:08Z")
From the Backstreet Boys appropriately entitled song: “Show Me the Meaning”: “Life goes on as it never ends Eyes of stone observe the trends They never say forever gaze Guilty roads to an endless love There’s no control Are you with me now?” ---
**Author:** ![RocknRoll\_Killing\_Machine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/5daacb/32.png) [@RocknRoll\_Killing\_Machine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RocknRoll_Killing_Machine)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2001, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truely-bad-song-lyrics/56462/66 "2001-03-04T14:20:34Z")
MY LOVE FOR YOU IS TICKING CLOCK. BERZERKER! WOULD YOU LIKE TO SUCK MY COCK? BERZERKER! Now while they aren’t actually in a real song, they are some of the worst lyrics I have ever heard. ---
**Author:** ![cheezit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c57346/32.png) [@cheezit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cheezit)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2001, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truely-bad-song-lyrics/56462/67 "2001-03-04T15:03:11Z")
I haven’t seen it mentioned yet, but **“Who let the dogs out”** gets my vote. If it has been mentioned already, I second it. ---
**Author:** ![Kamino\_Neko](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kamino_neko/32/34_2.png) [@Kamino\_Neko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamino_Neko)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2001, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truely-bad-song-lyrics/56462/68 "2001-03-04T16:06:08Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by nineiron \* > \*\*I always thought it was “But if this ever-changing world in which we’re livin’.” Maybe I’m wrong, but that’s what it sounds like to me. Makes a bit more sense. \*\* Thank you. Y’know, I was beginning to wonder if I was the only person on the face of the earth who heard it that way. Based on a cursory websearch ‘we’ is the proper lyric (or at least a common enough error to get into all of the first 20 Google hits) but an implied ‘are’ is, while completely informal, not exactly uncommon. And this isn’t exactly a university essay, is it? ---
**Author:** ![Nimue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/d26b3c/32.png) [@Nimue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nimue)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2001, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truely-bad-song-lyrics/56462/69 "2001-03-04T16:20:49Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by BigStar303 \* > \*\*From the Marshall Tucker Band’s “Heard It in a Love Song”: > > …(something) (something) just over the hill > I was born a rambler and a gambler > And I guess I always will > > (I always will…_what_? There’s no verb antecedent anywhere to be found for “will.”)\*\* I always took it to mean: I was born a rambler and a gambler And I guess I always will _ramble and gamble_ But I agree that it’s not very clear. ---
**Author:** ![mnemosyne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c4cdca/32.png) [@mnemosyne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mnemosyne)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2001, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truely-bad-song-lyrics/56462/70 "2001-03-04T20:56:46Z")
I used to wish that I had misheard the lyrics to this, but as I remember it, the lyrics to a TERRIBLE rap song by a TERRIBLE group called IAM included the following lines: Yo, IAM, SUNZ OF MAN from the ROYAL FAM never ate ham, never gave a damn Never ate ham, never gave a damn?? Ok, so you don’t agree with your own kosher lifestyle (the most logical explanation I can come up with) but why sing about it? And this is a repetitive, chourus-type verse. This song drove me insane. HOW did this band ever get signed?? ---
**Author:** ![dr\_hermes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/dfb087/32.png) [@dr\_hermes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dr_hermes)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2001, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truely-bad-song-lyrics/56462/71 "2001-03-04T21:38:07Z")
Anyone remember Leo Sayers and “When I Need You”? ``` Have you ever heard the theory that this song is about masturbation? ``` "When I need you, I just close my eyes and I’m with you… “And all that I so want to give you is only a heartbeat away…” **not to mention all over the sheets** “It’s cold out but hold out and do like I do…” **well maybe not in the exact same way** “When I need love, I hold out my hand and I touch love.” **ahem** Did anyone bever see him perform this live on stage? ---
**Author:** ![Cyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a88e4f/32.png) [@Cyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cyn)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2001, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truely-bad-song-lyrics/56462/72 "2001-03-05T00:09:46Z")
Muskrat Love Then, from The Muppet Movie: Never before have two souls joined so freely or so fast for me, this is the first time and the last… Our love was meant to touch the stars, but then we touched and made it ours and would they take it back? No, they wouldn’t dare. Why would they take it back when there’s enough to share with all the world and fill the heavens above with left-over love… Miss Piggy singing to Kermit ---
**Author:** ![racinchikki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@racinchikki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/racinchikki)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2001, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truely-bad-song-lyrics/56462/73 "2001-03-05T00:57:45Z")
I have come to the conclusion that the Tragically Hip are either stoned while writing lyrics, or they’re just deep beyond my cognitive capabilities. (I like 'em either way.) But in “The Bastard,” there’s a line about “so much for us purple Italians” (which sounds like “so much for our smurfing italians,” actually, but according to the liner notes it’s “purple”). Does anybody understand that? Leann Rimes, “I Need You” (chorus): I need you like [sunlight? summer?], like breath, like rain **I need you like mercy from Heaven’s Gate** There’s a freedom in your arms that carries me through I need you Every time I hear this song, I think Heaven’s Gate, the SUICIDE CULT, which would mean ‘mercy from Heaven’s Gate’ would be a euphemism for DEATH… I need you like poisoned koolaid!!! I also hate all the new Faith Hill songs. Glurge! Let’s make love All night long Until all our strength is gone… ---
**Author:** ![hardygrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a3d4f5/32.png) [@hardygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hardygrrl)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2001, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truely-bad-song-lyrics/56462/74 "2001-03-05T01:23:07Z")
Havok…any Kevin Smith reference makes me happy. Kevin himself wrote that. But you forgot the “soon we will be making fuck” part If you get the Clerks soundtrack Love Among Freaks did a version of Berserker. ---
**Author:** ![Kyomara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/8edcca/32.png) [@Kyomara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kyomara)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2001, 5:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truely-bad-song-lyrics/56462/75 "2001-03-05T05:06:14Z")
> [@](#): > > SLAM > duh duh duh > duh duh duh > Let the boys be boys > > I think this song was actually just a joke. They weren’t seriously trying to write a song. I can just see the record producers…“Alright, guys, where are the REAL lyrics?” Awwww…c’mon. You can’t judge a “pass the mic” song by its chorus! You have to judge it by the verses! Two words: Allanis Morisette. Total bad high school poetry shallow angry girl bullshit. And take that harmonica away from her! ---
**Author:** ![BarBQSauce](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/919ad9/32.png) [@BarBQSauce](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BarBQSauce)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2001, 6:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truely-bad-song-lyrics/56462/76 "2001-03-05T06:47:33Z")
SLAM duh duh duh duh duh duh Let the boys be boys I think this song was actually just a joke. They weren’t seriously trying to write a song. I can just see the record producers…“Alright, guys, where are the REAL lyrics?” Awwwww… come on! That song had some of the best lyrics to come out of popular music at that time “Well here’s another one (WHAT!) In the gutter one (WHAT!) Getting running up Troblesome extra double double I come to feed them The feed em then I shreed em So what if that I’m cheating. Now everyone wanna sound (YA) grimey (yeah) I’m gonna show you how come on (ALL AND TOGETHER NOW!) Yeaah, ohh yeaah! YEAH! That’s how we gotta be so stop trying to beat loud as me cause you can’t do that Think about the payoffer so left with an automatic rifle For last against the lighting last bullets first On Line Toughest step and a rep and a run rep and a run wreck and a swine Peace to the brothers on Riker’s Isle Pumping up a tremple and didn’t like his criminal lickin’ buck my eye, Oh my god I’m so high Just they say a Rodney say you like a criminum, what!? Just they say to make get Making milliangh, children SLAM! Slam!” Brilliant to their very core!! I will, however submit for you some very bad lyrics from the Big Tymers “Verse 3 (Manny and Baby together) I…like…loud pipes Big…rims…mo ice V-twelves…or better No…itch…strictly leather Playstation…DVD’s Don’t worry about yo bitch She comin wit’ me Leavin stickers on the Bentley To show the price Arm out the windows Just to floss my ice Fresh…wait hold up Thats that bitch…we fucked Nigga…what yo bank bout Dog i’ve been…lost count Pop that Crist’… pop that Mo’ Slam that bitch…punch that hoe What the fuck…hold on Everybody get yo motherfuckin roll on” There are unfortunately many of these so called “hip-hop groups” making a very bad name for all of the hard working and talented MCs ---
**Author:** ![Pergau](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7c8e57/32.png) [@Pergau](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pergau)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2001, 11:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truely-bad-song-lyrics/56462/77 "2001-03-05T11:03:31Z")
I think the Everly Brothers said it all in “Ebony Eyes” “I’ll never kiss those lips again They buried you today” Ps Biggirl’ I think the line “what’s she going to look like with a chimney on her”, refers to a black eye. ---
**Author:** ![Jekeira](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9fc29f/32.png) [@Jekeira](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jekeira)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2001, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truely-bad-song-lyrics/56462/78 "2001-03-05T15:22:53Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by PunditLisa \* > \*\*From the Backstreet Boys appropriately entitled song: “Show Me the Meaning”: > > “Life goes on as it never ends > Eyes of stone observe the trends > They never say forever gaze > Guilty roads to an endless love > There’s no control > Are you with me now?” > > \*\* That really IS bad. Really really bad. This makes me happy that I haven’t taken the time to familiarize myself with the boy-bands trend. Thank you, PunditLisa. I no longer have the nagging feeling that I might be missing something good. ---
**Author:** ![Aghris](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecccb3/32.png) [@Aghris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aghris)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2001, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truely-bad-song-lyrics/56462/79 "2001-03-05T15:54:43Z")
**Definitely** one of the following two songs. I’m not sure if you all know the first one since the group is Dutch (although I think that they made it quite big around the world as well, you start to wonder why though), so the second is almost just as bad: No Limits - by Two Unlimited: Chorus: No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No There’s no limit _(ad inifnitum)_ For those of you who are fortunate enough to have never heard of this group, I present you with the following: Life - by whoever Life, oh life, oh lahahahife oh life, tudutudu Life, oh lahife, oh life, oh lahahahife I’m afraid of a ghost It’s a sight that I fear most Never walk under ladders I keep the rabbit tale I take you up on a dare Anytime anywhere Name a place I’ll be there Bungee jumping I don’t care Life, oh life, oh lahahahife, oh life _(ad inifnitum)_ How on earth does one get from ghosts to bungee jumping??!? ---
**Author:** ![Aghris](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecccb3/32.png) [@Aghris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aghris)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2001, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truely-bad-song-lyrics/56462/80 "2001-03-05T15:57:24Z")
Damn! That was my hundredth post and I wasted it on stupid lyrics ☹ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truely-bad-song-lyrics/56462.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truely-bad-song-lyrics/56462.md?page=5)