# Truely Bad Song Lyrics

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truely-bad-song-lyrics/56462>\
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion\
**Created:** [March 2, 2001, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truely-bad-song-lyrics/56462 "2001-03-02T04:26:37Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 7

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**Author:** ![Superdude](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/superdude/32/13450_2.png) [@Superdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superdude)\
**Post date:** [March 8, 2001, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truely-bad-song-lyrics/56462/121 "2001-03-08T18:57:18Z")

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How about “Land of 1000 Dances?”

“I said na  
na na na na  
na na na na na  
na na na na na  
na na na na”

As much as I love Billy Joel, here’s one from “Don’t Ask Me Why:”  
“Yesterday you were an only child  
Now your ghosts have gone away  
You can kill them in the classic style  
Now you parlais vous francais”

And, is it just me, or does it annoy anyone else when someone uses a double negative in a song? I quote Vitamin C:  
“I ain’t got nobody that I can depend on”

“Poundcake” by Van Halen  
“And homegrown and down home  
That makes a woman”

AND, I saved the best for last!  
“Sunglasses at Night” by Corey Hart!  
“Don’t push the blame on a guy in shades, oh no  
Don’t mess around with a guy in shades, on no  
I can’t believe that you got in bed with a guy in shades, oh no”

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**Author:** ![BigStar303](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/dec6dc/32.png) [@BigStar303](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigStar303)\
**Post date:** [March 8, 2001, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truely-bad-song-lyrics/56462/122 "2001-03-08T20:22:45Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Superdude \*  
> \*\*How about “Land of 1000 Dances?”
> 
> “I said na  
> na na na na  
> na na na na na  
> na na na na na  
> na na na na”\*\*

Time for another rock ‘n’ roll history history lesson. (The full version of this story can be found at [http://www.tsimon.com/land.htm](http://www.tsimon.com/land.htm). Here’s the crux of it.)

“Land of 1000 Dances” was originally written by New Orleans rhythm and blues performer Chris Kenner – who also wrote, among other songs, “I Like It Like That,” later a hit in a cover version by the Dave Clark Five.

There are no “na-na”'s in Kenner’s version (nor is the title ever sung, though originally it had a spoken intro in which Kenner said he was going to “take you to the Land of 1000 Dances”).

From here, we pick up the story of one Frankie Garcia, who had a group who decided to add the song to their repertoire. They actually learned it from a cover by Memphis entertainer Rufus Thoms. Garcia picks up the story:

“Now the original of that song, if you’ve ever heard it, is lyrics from beginning to end. Dances all the way through. Lots of lyrics. And on stage, I blacked out and couldn’t remember the words. So I started ad-libbing, ‘Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na.’ After the show, the other musicians went ‘What were you doing?’ and I said ‘I don’t know.’ And they said ‘Well do it again, it sounded real good. Could you do it again?’ Finally we got to where I could remember it, but didn’t care about the words anymore. I just wanted to get to that ‘Na na na na na.’ Everywhere we went we got a great response to that song.”

Garcia and his group were eventually coaxed into the recording studio to make a record of their version. Typical of the day, it was a quickie, and those making the record never got around to asking what the name of their group was. Someone recalled that Garcia had the nickname “Cannibal,” so the record was put out with the artist credit reading Cannibal and the Headhunters.

Most if not all subsequent versions of “Land of 100 Dances” – including the most successful, Wilson Pickett’s and Thee Midnighers’ – had the “na na”'s intact. But to say they are part of the song’s “lyrics” is not really accurate.

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**Author:** ![Superdude](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/superdude/32/13450_2.png) [@Superdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superdude)\
**Post date:** [March 8, 2001, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truely-bad-song-lyrics/56462/123 "2001-03-08T20:38:55Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by BigStar303 \*  
> \*\*
> 
> > [@](#):
> >
> > \*Originally posted by Superdude \*  
> > \*\*How about “Land of 1000 Dances?”
> > 
> > “I said na  
> > na na na na  
> > na na na na na  
> > na na na na na  
> > na na na na”\*\*
> 
> But to say they are part of the song’s “lyrics” is not really accurate. \*\*

I beg to differ…they may not be the ORIGINAL lyrics, but they ARE the lyrics to that particular version. To an extent, Weird Al Yankovic has made a career of changing other people’s song lyrics to something else. The may not be the original lyrics, but they ARE the lyrics to the version he put out. Also, there are several different lyrical versions of “Mack the Knife.” Does that mean that several versions don’t really have lyrics, since they differ from the original? No. They’re just different versions.

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**Author:** ![scottws](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/839c29/32.png) [@scottws](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scottws)\
**Post date:** [March 8, 2001, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truely-bad-song-lyrics/56462/124 "2001-03-08T20:39:44Z")

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Jesse’s Girl -  
“I feel so dirty when they start talkin’ cute  
I wanna tell her I love but the point is probably moot”

The POINT is MOOT?

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**Author:** ![dr\_hermes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/dfb087/32.png) [@dr\_hermes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dr_hermes)\
**Post date:** [March 9, 2001, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truely-bad-song-lyrics/56462/125 "2001-03-09T01:05:40Z")

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How I enjoy this topic.

betenoir, I would guess the derelict was called Aqualung because his wheezy, sinsister breathing sounds like an aqualung.  
And ‘moot’ is a real word, meeting abstract or hypothetical. How Rick Springfield heard the somewhat archaic phrase ‘a moot point’ is open to conjecture.

‘Seasons In the Sun’…Lord save us. It was written by Jacques Brel and translated by Rod McKuen. Is there **anyone** out there who would like to hear their versions?

Here we go:  
“Honey” by Bobby Goldsboro.{Arrghh!}

I can’t even bring myself to summon up the lyrics, except to paraphrase that she wrecked the car, he said ‘what the heck?’ and she was so happy she ‘hugged my neck’. And the small cloud that cries down on her flower bed…  
… Oh, I can’t go on.

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**Author:** ![dr\_hermes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/dfb087/32.png) [@dr\_hermes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dr_hermes)\
**Post date:** [March 9, 2001, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truely-bad-song-lyrics/56462/126 "2001-03-09T01:12:06Z")

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How I enjoy this topic.

betenoir, I would guess the derelict was called Aqualung because his wheezy, sinsister breathing sounds like an aqualung.  
And ‘moot’ is a real word, meeting abstract or hypothetical. How Rick Springfield heard the somewhat archaic phrase ‘a moot point’ is open to conjecture.

‘Seasons In the Sun’…Lord save us. It was written by Jacques Brel and translated by Rod McKuen. Is there **anyone** out there who would like to hear their versions?

Here we go:  
“Honey” by Bobby Goldsboro.{Arrghh!}

I can’t even bring myself to summon up the lyrics, except to paraphrase that she wrecked the car, he said ‘what the heck?’ and she was so happy she ‘hugged my neck’. And the small cloud that cries down on her flower bed…  
… Oh, I can’t go on.

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**Author:** ![Kamino\_Neko](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kamino_neko/32/34_2.png) [@Kamino\_Neko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamino_Neko)\
**Post date:** [March 9, 2001, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truely-bad-song-lyrics/56462/127 "2001-03-09T01:41:58Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by dr hermes \*  
> **And ‘moot’ is a real word, meeting abstract or hypothetical. How Rick Springfield heard the somewhat archaic phrase ‘a moot point’ is open to conjecture.**

Moot point’s archaic?

😕

Sure it’s misremembered (mute point), but archaic???

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**Author:** ![Morgyn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morgyn/32/3041_2.png) [@Morgyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgyn)\
**Post date:** [March 9, 2001, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truely-bad-song-lyrics/56462/128 "2001-03-09T02:17:22Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Palandine \*  
> **The never-recorded lyrics to the theme from the original series of Star Trek have to be right up there. They were written by Gene Roddenberry**

Didn’t Nichelle Nichols record that on an album of Star Trek related songs? I see a Google search in my future. . . .

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**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\
**Post date:** [March 9, 2001, 2:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truely-bad-song-lyrics/56462/129 "2001-03-09T02:39:15Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Fenris \*  
> \*\*
> 
> > [@](#):
> >
> > \*Originally posted by Turbo Dog \*  
> > \*\*They Might Be Giants… For EVERY SINGLE WORD OF MINDLESS NONSENSE that comes out of their mouths. “…Particle Man Hates Triangle Man…” ??? WTF??? \*\*
> 
> The specific quote is (AFIK) a reference to the old Spider-Man Cartoon theme. (Spider-Man, Spider-Man, does whatever a spider can…) so they’re just doing a super-hero riff.
> 
> Fenris \*\*

(I can’t believe I’m going to waste my 1000th post on this…)

No no it’s much more than that.  
Particle Man  
Particle man, particle man  
Doing the things a particle can  
What’s he like? It’s not important  
Particle man

Is he a dot, or is he a speck?  
When he’s underwater does he get wet?  
Or does the water get him instead?  
Nobody knows, Particle man

Triangle man, Triangle man  
Triangle man hates particle man  
They have a fight, Triangle wins  
Triangle man

Universe man, Universe man  
Size of the entire universe man  
Usually kind to smaller man  
Universe man

He’s got a watch with a minute hand,  
Millenium hand and an eon hand  
When they meet it’s a happy land  
Powerful man, universe man

Person man, person man  
Hit on the head with a frying pan  
Lives his life in a garbage can  
Person man

Is he depressed or is he a mess?  
Does he feel totally worthless?  
Who came up with person man?  
Degraded man, person man

Triangle man, triangle man  
Triangle man hates person man  
They have a fight, triangle wins  
Triangle man

-Pure genius!! All the levels! All the colors!

Spider Man Lyrics

Spiderman, Spiderman  
Does whatever a spider can  
Spins a web any size  
Catches thieves just like flies  
Look out!  
Here comes the Spiderman

Is he strong?  
Listen, bud  
He’s got radioactive blood  
Can he swing from a thread?  
Take a look overhead  
Hey, there!  
There goes the Spiderman

In the chill of the night  
At the scene of the crime  
Like a streak of light  
He arrives just in time

Spiderman, Spiderman  
Friendly neighborhood Spiderman  
Wealth and fame  
He’s ignored  
Action is his reward  
Look out, here comes the Spiderman

In the chill of the night  
At the scene of the crime  
Like a streak of light  
He arrives just in time

Spiderman, Spiderman  
Friendly neighborhood Spiderman  
Wealth and fame  
He’s ignored  
Action is his reward

To him, life is a great big bang-up  
Whenever there’s a hang-up  
You’ll find the Spiderman!

-Again, pure unadulterated genius! But not really the same at all.

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**Author:** ![Morgyn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morgyn/32/3041_2.png) [@Morgyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgyn)\
**Post date:** [March 9, 2001, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truely-bad-song-lyrics/56462/130 "2001-03-09T02:40:23Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by dr hermes \*  
> \*\*  
> Anyone remember Leo Sayers and “When I Need You”?
> 
> ```
> Have you ever heard the theory that this song is about masturbation?
> 
> ```
> 
> "When I need you, I just close my eyes and I’m with you…  
> “And all that I so want to give you is only a heartbeat away…” **not to mention all over the sheets**
> 
> “It’s cold out but hold out and do like I do…” **well maybe not in the exact same way**
> 
> “When I need love, I hold out my hand and I touch love.” **ahem**
> 
> Did anyone bever see him perform this live on stage? \*\*

I saw him perform it on the muppet show. Clinging to a tree. While Sweetums (I think) danced around below him.

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**Author:** ![Morgyn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morgyn/32/3041_2.png) [@Morgyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgyn)\
**Post date:** [March 9, 2001, 3:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truely-bad-song-lyrics/56462/131 "2001-03-09T03:03:27Z")

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As I suspected, Nichelle Nichols did put out an album, and she did sing the Star Trek theme.

[http://www.songsearch.net/CATALOG/N/NICHELLE\_NICHOLS.HTM](http://www.songsearch.net/CATALOG/N/NICHELLE_NICHOLS.HTM)

The album is titled “Down to Earth Plus 4”. Note the CD description:

Reissue of 1967 album with 4 bonus tracks by the lady best known as the original Star Trek’s Lt. Uhura: ‘Know What I Mean’, ‘Why Don’t You Do Right’, ‘Star Trek Theme’ & ‘The Star Trek Philosophy’, the last 2 of which are by the late Star Trek creator Gene Roddenberry & are taken from the album ‘Inside Star Trek’. 14 tracks total.

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**Author:** ![MissMisery](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ccd318/32.png) [@MissMisery](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MissMisery)\
**Post date:** [March 9, 2001, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truely-bad-song-lyrics/56462/132 "2001-03-09T03:46:59Z")

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I’m lazy and didn’t take the time to read all of the responses, so I am not sure if anyone has posted this one yet, but I am sure that anyone that has been subjected to American pop( I think that is the category… feel free to yell at me if I am wrong) has heard the painful song “It Wasn’t Me”(Until a few seconds ago when I called upon the help of my younger sister, I referred it as the “‘banging on the bathroom floor’ song” if that helps clear it up) by the artist Shaggy. I believe it deserves all of the titles for worst lyrics…

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**Author:** ![Kyla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/eada6e/32.png) [@Kyla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kyla)\
**Post date:** [March 9, 2001, 5:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truely-bad-song-lyrics/56462/133 "2001-03-09T05:59:25Z")

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Mmm…someone has to. Hometownboy and BigStar303, one of the Five Americans is an esteemed poster on the SDMB. Posting the lyrics to Western Union was just a jibe at him, since he wrote them.

There are many worse songs in the world than I knew about before reading this thread. I must second whoever mentioned Lenny Kravitz. I HATE him. That song “I want to get away” or whatever it’s called makes me want to vomit.

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**Author:** ![neutron\_star](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/51bf81/32.png) [@neutron\_star](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/neutron_star)\
**Post date:** [March 9, 2001, 7:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truely-bad-song-lyrics/56462/134 "2001-03-09T07:12:07Z")

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More wonderful Live lyrics (from Shit Town)

"The Weavers live up the street from me  
The crackheads live down the street from me  
The tall grass makes it hard to see  
Beyond my property

Hey man, this is criminal,  
this hard line symmetry of people and pets

We don’t bother anyone  
We keep to ourselves  
The mailman visits each of us in turn"

_Hard line symmetry of people and pets???_

Ed must have been up all night writing these three lines from “Rattlesnake”:

“Let’s go hang out in a bar  
It’s not too far  
We’ll take my car”

I cringe every time I hear that. Sounds like a poem I might have written in third grade.  
Shifting the gears back a couple decades, check out this imaginative rhyme from Springsteen’s “Rosalita(Come out Tonight)”

“We’re gonna play some pool  
Skip some school  
Act real cool  
Stay out all night  
It’s gonna feel alright  
So Rosie come out tonight, Rosie come out tonight  
Windows are for cheaters, chimneys for the poor  
Closets are for hangers, winners use the door.  
So use it Rosie. That’s what it’s there for!”

I love the song, but _c’mon Bruce_, I know you can do better than that! You wrote “Thunder Road,” fer cryin’ out loud!

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![BigStar303](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/dec6dc/32.png) [@BigStar303](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigStar303)\
**Post date:** [March 9, 2001, 7:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truely-bad-song-lyrics/56462/135 "2001-03-09T07:19:38Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Superdude \*  
> \*\*
> 
> > [@](#):
> >
> > \*Originally posted by BigStar303 \*  
> > \*\*
> > 
> > > [@](#):
> > >
> > > \*Originally posted by Superdude \*  
> > > \*\*How about “Land of 1000 Dances?”
> > > 
> > > “I said na  
> > > na na na na  
> > > na na na na na  
> > > na na na na na  
> > > na na na na”\*\*
> > 
> > But to say they are part of the song’s “lyrics” is not really accurate. \*\*
> 
> I beg to differ…they may not be the ORIGINAL lyrics, but they ARE the lyrics to that particular version. To an extent, Weird Al Yankovic has made a career of changing other people’s song lyrics to something else. The may not be the original lyrics, but they ARE the lyrics to the version he put out. Also, there are several different lyrical versions of “Mack the Knife.” Does that mean that several versions don’t really have lyrics, since they differ from the original? No. They’re just different versions. \*\*

You apparently have a much broader definition of “lyrics” than I do.

“Lyrics” are words a songwriter writes for a singer to sing. As my earlier post pointed out, the “na na”'s of “Land of 1000 Dances” were _improvised_ by the singer on the spot during a live performance. They weren’t _written_ by anyone. This is what I meant when I said it wasn’t really appropriate to include these in a “bad lyrics” thread. They’re not lyrics.

Yes, Weird Al writes new lyrics to the songs he’s parodying. But “writes” is the key word.

If you want to say that the singing of “na na” here makes “Land of 1000 Dances” a stupid song, that’s fine. But when you say a song has “bad lyrics,” you’re criticizing _the songwriter_ who wrote it. The songwriter of “Land of 1000 Dances” did not write “na na.”

To clarify the situation, is the “doo bee doo bee doo” Frank Sinatra sings at the end of “Strangers in the Night” part of that song’s lyrics? Do you suppose the composer of the song wrote this passage out on the lead sheet that was handed to Frank?

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![betenoir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/258eb7/32.png) [@betenoir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/betenoir)\
**Post date:** [March 9, 2001, 7:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truely-bad-song-lyrics/56462/136 "2001-03-09T07:27:51Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by dr hermes \*  
> \*\*  
> How I enjoy this topic.
> 
> betenoir, I would guess the derelict was called Aqualung because his wheezy, sinsister breathing sounds like an aqualung. \*\*

Ick. I was hoping there was some other explaination.  
\*\*

> [@](#):
>
> ‘Seasons In the Sun’…Lord save us. It was written by Jacques Brel and translated by Rod McKuen. Is there **anyone** out there who would like to hear their versions?  
> \*\*

Jacques Brel? Really? Well I blame Rod McKuen.  
Here’s Brel in good translation:

“And if I joined the social whirl  
became procurer of young girls  
then I would have my own bordello  
My records would be number one  
and I’d sell records by the ton  
all sung by many other fellows.  
My name would then be handsome Jack  
And I’d sell boats of opium  
Whiskey that came from Twickenham  
Authentic queers and phoney virgins.  
I’d have a bank on every finger  
A finger in every bank  
And every country ruled by me  
I still know where I’d want to be  
Locked up inside my opium den  
Surrounded by some Chinamen  
I’d sind the song that I sang then  
About the time they called me Jackie  
If I could be for only an hour  
If I could be for an hour every day  
If I could be for just one little hour  
Cute, cute, cute in a stupid assed way…”  
Now those are GOOD lyrics 😃 😃 😃 :D.

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Kyomara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/8edcca/32.png) [@Kyomara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kyomara)\
**Post date:** [March 9, 2001, 10:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truely-bad-song-lyrics/56462/137 "2001-03-09T10:15:40Z")

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RickJay:

> [@](#):
>
> Has nobody heard “Put It In My Mouth” yet? I don’t even know the band’s name  
> My baby left me  
> Left me sad and blue  
> I didn’t know what to do  
> About my baby, baby, baby  
> But then I met his best friend  
> And he took me to his house  
> And I said, I said, I said
> 
> Put it in my mouth  
> In my motherfucking mouth  
> And you can just eat me out  
> You can eat me out
> 
> Well, you can lick it you can suck it you can taste it,  
> I’m talking every drip-drop don’t you waste it…
> 
> It gets worse from there.

Naw, man, it gets BETTER. C’mon…the artist was Ochanelee (spelling? not sure…pronounced ock-uh-nay-lay), as you will no doubt remember from the classic lyric “I’ll be like Herbie and hand you a cock, and tell you that my name is Och.” The great thing about that one was the girl’s voice (a girl sings the first verse before Och starts to rap), which was soooooo beautiful, but the lyrics were so dirty. And my college roommate’s best friend’s little sister, who was under-age and sooooooo hot, sang the song for us while it played and I…I…I think I fell in love. (snif)

But if you’re going to include that one, we can’t forget Easy E’s memorable “Gimme that nut.” Esp. the part sung to the tune of the Green Acres theme song:

In some pussy is the place to be  
Always fucking is the life for me  
Spread them legs open far and wide  
Fuck that shit, just lemme get my dick inside.

As for live, may I submit:

Lightning crashes, and an old mother cries  
Her placenta falls to the floor.

Sorry, but it is put-near impossible to put the word “placenta” into a pop song without sounding painfully contrived. That band has nice melodies, but they suckkkk.

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Balalaika\_Gap](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c68b51/32.png) [@Balalaika\_Gap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balalaika_Gap)\
**Post date:** [March 9, 2001, 11:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truely-bad-song-lyrics/56462/138 "2001-03-09T11:27:20Z")

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Kyomara, I was just about to mention Live’s placenta lyric. Good lord that is horrible.

My all-time favorite bad lyric is by Richard Marx, in a little number I’ve always called “The Bad Grammar Song”:

Whatever it takes  
Or how my heart breaks  
I will be right here waiting for you

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**Author:** ![BigStar303](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/dec6dc/32.png) [@BigStar303](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigStar303)\
**Post date:** [March 9, 2001, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truely-bad-song-lyrics/56462/139 "2001-03-09T14:14:41Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Kyla \*  
> **Mmm…someone has to. Hometownboy and BigStar303, one of the Five Americans is an esteemed poster on the SDMB.**

He is? Cool! Hi Mike! I’ll bet I’m the only one around here that has (as far as I know) _all_ of The Five Americans’ albums – including the double LP _Now and Then_.

Not to mention Mike’s solo album – I always think of Paul McCartney when I hear its lead track “Heaven Knows.” And I mean that as a compliment.

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**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\
**Post date:** [March 9, 2001, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truely-bad-song-lyrics/56462/140 "2001-03-09T14:36:21Z")

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Let’s not forget the Bee Gee’s “First of May”

When we were small and Christmas trees were tall.  
We use to laugh while others use to play.  
Don’t ask me why but time has passed us by.  
And someone else moved in from far away.  
Now we are tall and Christmas trees are small.  
And you don’t ask the time of day.  
But you and I our love will never die.  
I guess we’ll cry come first of May.  
The apple trees that bloomed for you and me.  
We watched the apples falling one by one.  
And I recall the moment of them all.  
The day you kissed my check and you were gone.

When Sarah Brightman covered this song on a Christmas CD,  
the fans on her sites when nuts trying to make sense of it.

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