# TruePisces' Flirting Workshop - Come One, Come All **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 1, 2001, 6:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truepisces-flirting-workshop-come-one-come-all/60347 "2001-04-01T06:06:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 15
**Author:** ![UncleBill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/d26b3c/32.png) [@UncleBill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBill)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2001, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truepisces-flirting-workshop-come-one-come-all/60347/281 "2001-04-03T17:34:04Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by moi \* > \*\*_aside to **TP** _ Whoa. The last two posts were all about me. This seems to be working! > > **UncleBill** : Unfortunately, while I lived a few years in the South, I’m not born and bred. And, as folx in those localities say, just 'cos your cat had kittens in the oven, that don’t make 'em biscuits. \*\* Your darned tootin it’s working, honey child. While you may have been in Gawd’s Country but a tad bit, it has obviously had a great impact on your abilities in the ways of love! Nobody flirts like a Southern Belle! ---
**Author:** ![Gozu\_Tashoya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7993a0/32.png) [@Gozu\_Tashoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gozu_Tashoya)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2001, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truepisces-flirting-workshop-come-one-come-all/60347/282 "2001-04-03T18:36:02Z")
::takes notes:: So these visions and fears of being laughed out of the bar/club/exotic location…what should be done about that? Or is it all in my head? Oh my, I think I do need those relaxation exercises. Except, well, **Audrey** , my hearing has been awfully bad lately, and I’m not sure if I would be able to hear you breathing. And with the lights off I’m not sure I’d be able to see you. And since being aware of the other person’s breathing seems to be an awfully important part of the exercise, I’m at a loss… ---
**Author:** ![dublos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f08c70/32.png) [@dublos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dublos)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2001, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truepisces-flirting-workshop-come-one-come-all/60347/283 "2001-04-03T18:55:36Z")
**KKBattousai** Very, Very infrequently does anyone get laughed out of anyplace due to a flirting mishap. That does not preclude crushing responses that make you want to crawl out of the place, but that’s part of the price of trying. When you try, you risk failure. I think even very sucessful flirts have maybe a 60% success rate. There are absolutely NO flirts who never fail, if they are instigators and not just responders. The increase in success comes not only in learning to flirt better, but also in gaining experience in when to try. So if the failure rate is that high, why do we keep trying? Because when it goes well, it makes even a single success in a month of failures worth the pay off. _Hint: If you’re not sure you’ll be able to hear **audrey** breathe, and you don’t think you’ll be able to see it, maybe you need to position yourself close enough to feel her breathing?_ -Doug ---
**Author:** ![moi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c2a13f/32.png) [@moi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/moi)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2001, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truepisces-flirting-workshop-come-one-come-all/60347/284 "2001-04-03T18:57:08Z")
_positively purrrrrrrs in dublos’ arms_ I have to thank you for all of this one-on-one attention. I hope I’m proving to be worthy of your skills. ---
**Author:** ![dublos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f08c70/32.png) [@dublos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dublos)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2001, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truepisces-flirting-workshop-come-one-come-all/60347/285 "2001-04-03T19:48:14Z")
Moi, you are worthy of all the attention i can muster, and _moving Moi’s hand to the appropriate area_I think you can easily feel how much attention you’ve generated. _Gazing into Moi’s eyes, I ease in for a soft, subtle kiss, which grow stedily more passionate as each of us responds to the other._ Oh, my, I hope our time together is as educational for you as it is for me. \*Easing back on the couch, still entwined as hands start to explore and caress… \* [aside]I seem to recall threads have a maximum size with the current forum software, do any of the mods reading along know how far this one’s from the limit? [/aside] Moi, has anyone told you that you’ve got very entrancing lips? Or that your eyes sparkle delightfully when you become arroused? -Doug ---
**Author:** ![Oicu812](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/f475e1/32.png) [@Oicu812](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oicu812)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2001, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truepisces-flirting-workshop-come-one-come-all/60347/286 "2001-04-03T19:52:55Z")
_Wets his lips slightly with his tongue, and smiles coyly_ ---
**Author:** ![Falcon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/49beb7/32.png) [@Falcon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Falcon)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2001, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truepisces-flirting-workshop-come-one-come-all/60347/287 "2001-04-03T20:10:17Z")
_blushes slightly_ I’m doing just fine, if a little cold…care to help me with that? ---
**Author:** ![Oicu812](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/f475e1/32.png) [@Oicu812](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oicu812)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2001, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truepisces-flirting-workshop-come-one-come-all/60347/288 "2001-04-03T20:16:51Z")
Certainly! You know you are ALWAYS welcome to warm your hands by my fire…! O ---
**Author:** ![Falcon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/49beb7/32.png) [@Falcon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Falcon)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2001, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truepisces-flirting-workshop-come-one-come-all/60347/289 "2001-04-03T21:17:07Z")
But my whole BODY is cold, hon… _smiles shyly_ ---
**Author:** ![Tygr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/df788c/32.png) [@Tygr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tygr)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2001, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truepisces-flirting-workshop-come-one-come-all/60347/290 "2001-04-03T22:23:21Z")
:: Tygr settles back onto the comfy sofa at the back of the classroom. A welcome Black Russian appears on the table beside him. He checks his watch again. :: Well it looks like **Ms. Pisces** is gonna be tied up for a little while (actually, that WOULD explain a lot) so I’m gonna sit back for a coupl’a minutes and watch the various shows going on around the classroom. Hope you fellow students aren’t offended if I watch and take copious mental picturesXXXX NOTES! I meant NOTES. Unless anyone (esp. fellow students!) wants to engage in some extra labwork? I can use some practice… Oh, well, I’m off to my 33.6 / 90MHz machine, so don’t expect quick responses. ---
**Author:** ![Cyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a88e4f/32.png) [@Cyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cyn)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2001, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truepisces-flirting-workshop-come-one-come-all/60347/291 "2001-04-03T22:32:03Z")
It’s so nice when great minds think alike, but… Beauty is in the eye of the beholder: can I take a peek? ---
**Author:** ![hampster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/53a042/32.png) [@hampster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hampster)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2001, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truepisces-flirting-workshop-come-one-come-all/60347/292 "2001-04-03T22:46:27Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Hardygrrl_ > ::Steps ovwe Scralden’s limp body:: > > ``` > Think I killed him :) > > ``` Naw, s’just when I’m away from my computer I wish I was dead. 🙂 > [@](#): > > ::Slowly runs fingers through his hair:: > > ``` > Don't worry-I'll be gentle. > > Speaking of gentle-nice light touch there-care to explore more than my hand? > > ``` Oh, lovely-lady yes-- To boldly come err. go, where no man has co-_GONE!_ before… ::Slowly trails his fingers up her arm:: You’ll like this, I’m _very_ good with my hands, I got 18 DEX on a 3d6 roll… No, No sorry too nerdy. let me try again. ::Looks at her 6 inch stiletto heels, while none too surreptitiously sneaking a peak inside Hardygrrl’s black… vinyl… raincoat (Aside :D):: I’ve heard… :: Drops to his knees :: That wearing shoes like this can cause foot problems, ::Tracing the bands of muscle up from her ankle:: leg pain, ::higher and higher:: and injury to the lower back. ::wrapping both arms around her, pulling her close, kneading the flesh at the base of her spine:: If you’re having any problems like that… tense muscles you need to relieve… I could give you a massage… Purely therapeutic of course. or whatever. ---
**Author:** ![Weirddave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/919ad9/32.png) [@Weirddave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Weirddave)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2001, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truepisces-flirting-workshop-come-one-come-all/60347/293 "2001-04-03T23:22:41Z")
:runs hand gently up Cyn’s arm and around to the small of her back: Why don’t we both peek? :guides Cyn into his office: ---
**Author:** ![Gozu\_Tashoya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7993a0/32.png) [@Gozu\_Tashoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gozu_Tashoya)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2001, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truepisces-flirting-workshop-come-one-come-all/60347/294 "2001-04-04T00:43:27Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by dublos \* > \*\ ***KKBattousai** > > _Hint: If you’re not sure you’ll be able to hear **audrey** breathe, and you don’t think you’ll be able to see it, maybe you need to position yourself close enough to feel her breathing?_ > > -Doug \*\* Actually, I was thinking of working taste into the equation also/instead. \ Say, is that your _strawberry_ lip gloss? ---
**Author:** ![UncleBill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/d26b3c/32.png) [@UncleBill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBill)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2001, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truepisces-flirting-workshop-come-one-come-all/60347/295 "2001-04-04T01:27:44Z")
with your sultry voice and sexy sense of humor… How YOU doin? ---
**Author:** ![Geek\_Mecha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ecae2f/32.png) [@Geek\_Mecha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geek_Mecha)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2001, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truepisces-flirting-workshop-come-one-come-all/60347/296 "2001-04-04T01:35:44Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by KKBattousai \* > \*\*Oh my, I think I do need those relaxation exercises. Except, well, Audrey, my hearing has been awfully bad lately, and I’m not sure if I would be able to hear you breathing. And with the lights off I’m not sure I’d be able to see you. And since being aware of the other person’s breathing seems to be an awfully important part of the exercise, I’m at a loss… \*\* Perhaps you’d have an easier time concentrating on my breathing if we went off into this little room here, out of sight and hearing distance from the others… Oh, look! There just so happens to be a big, soft bed in here! What luck! You’ll be relaxed in no time. 😉 > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by dublos \* > \*\ ***KKBattousai** > > _Hint: If you’re not sure you’ll be able to hear **audrey** breathe, and you don’t think you’ll be able to see it, maybe you need to position yourself close enough to feel her breathing?_\*\* ::innocently:: Do you think the bed will help with that? > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by KKBattousai \* > \*\*Actually, I was thinking of working taste into the equation also/instead. > > \ Say, is that your _strawberry_ lip gloss? \*\* Yes, that’s strawberry, all right… but, um, hon? Lip gloss doesn’t usually go down there… … mmmm… but as long as you’re licking it off me… ---
**Author:** ![hardygrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a3d4f5/32.png) [@hardygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hardygrrl)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2001, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truepisces-flirting-workshop-come-one-come-all/60347/297 "2001-04-04T01:38:14Z")
Oh Bill…thank god you’re here! ::pushes Scralden off:: I’m just an aching,quivering void of need…Got anything for that 😉 Well…anything impressive? ---
**Author:** ![UncleBill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/d26b3c/32.png) [@UncleBill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBill)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2001, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truepisces-flirting-workshop-come-one-come-all/60347/298 "2001-04-04T01:43:02Z")
This might just be “impressing” upon your larynx is you use it properly!! :eek: I am here, there, and everywhere for you, {b]hardygrrl\*\* ---
**Author:** ![hardygrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a3d4f5/32.png) [@hardygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hardygrrl)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2001, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truepisces-flirting-workshop-come-one-come-all/60347/299 "2001-04-04T01:54:39Z")
::gently pulls Bill out of her mouth,again. Lays back on desk supine legs slightly spread:: Now let’s test your focus-get on this desk,get back into my mouth but…since your mouth is free-think it’s time for a little pearl diving.Let’s see who gives up first.😉 Adnd this will count towards your final grade… ---
**Author:** ![UncleBill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/d26b3c/32.png) [@UncleBill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBill)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2001, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truepisces-flirting-workshop-come-one-come-all/60347/300 "2001-04-04T02:14:39Z")
:gently inserting back into **hadrygrrl’s** warm and supple mouth: I can add 34 plus 35! [command voice] TAKE NO PRISONERS! FIGHT ON! **NEVER** SURRENDER![/command voice] Mmmmpppff, Mmmmmfffppffhhh, Hhmmmmmmmrrrrffff, mmmmMMMMMmmmmmMMMMMMMM, huminahuminahuminahumina, OOOhhhh YEAH! RIGHT THERE! MMmmmmrrrrrfffff. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truepisces-flirting-workshop-come-one-come-all/60347.md?page=14) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truepisces-flirting-workshop-come-one-come-all/60347.md?page=16)