# TruePisces' Flirting Workshop - Come One, Come All **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 1, 2001, 6:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truepisces-flirting-workshop-come-one-come-all/60347 "2001-04-01T06:06:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 16
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2001, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truepisces-flirting-workshop-come-one-come-all/60347/301 "2001-04-04T02:15:50Z")
_AHEM_! I would like to remind the instructors and students that this is a **Flirting Workshop**. The operative word being _flirting_. [This also _is_ a public message board and there _are_ minors posting. Take it to email, boys and girls. Please. My daughter reads this board.] ---
**Author:** ![hardygrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a3d4f5/32.png) [@hardygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hardygrrl)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2001, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truepisces-flirting-workshop-come-one-come-all/60347/302 "2001-04-04T02:24:57Z")
::lies back,panting,sweating,totally spent:: You win this round Bill… Do you need anything for the scratch marks? ---
**Author:** ![UncleBill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/d26b3c/32.png) [@UncleBill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBill)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2001, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truepisces-flirting-workshop-come-one-come-all/60347/303 "2001-04-04T02:30:07Z")
I have the Neosporin right here. What with the cruddy modem speed and all… Shall we follow AR’s advice (I DO recall another thread…) and go to e-mail? ---
**Author:** ![hampster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/53a042/32.png) [@hampster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hampster)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2001, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truepisces-flirting-workshop-come-one-come-all/60347/304 "2001-04-04T02:50:59Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Hardygrrl_ > Oh Bill…thank god you’re here! > > ``` > :Pushes Scralden off:: > > I'm just an aching,quivering void of need....Got anything for that > > Well....anything impressive? > > ``` ::In an entirely not bitter tone of voice:: Since **Hardygrrl** and **UncleBill** are off doing things which I won’t detail as per the request of **Arden Ranger** 😉 Where do I file for a replacement Prof? (unless **Hg** _and_ **UB** …? No nevermind, let me get the basics down first. 😉 ) Who do I have to nail to get a decent education around here!? Oh, wait, that’s **TruePisces** , and my passing this course was a pre-req for the harem application… ☹ Catch-22 (forlornly) I’ve just _got_ to pass this course… isn’t there _anything_ I could do…? (/forlornly) ---
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2001, 3:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truepisces-flirting-workshop-come-one-come-all/60347/305 "2001-04-04T03:03:30Z")
**Scralden** , our dean will be back tomorrow. We apologize for any inconvience or um… strain you may experience and assure you it will be made up to you at **TP** ’s earliest availability. Your patience and understanding are to be commended. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Falcon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/49beb7/32.png) [@Falcon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Falcon)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2001, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truepisces-flirting-workshop-come-one-come-all/60347/306 "2001-04-04T03:04:36Z")
_wanders around_ Well, seeing as my prof left as well… Hey Scralden? How YOU doin? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![hampster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/53a042/32.png) [@hampster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hampster)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2001, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truepisces-flirting-workshop-come-one-come-all/60347/307 "2001-04-04T03:26:08Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Falcon_ > Well, seeing as my prof left as well… > > ``` > Hey Scralden? How YOU doin? > > ``` I’m… I’m… It’s late, I think I’m going to go catch up on my reading… Maybe do some of that independent study… Maybe we could get together for a group project tomorrow? ---
**Author:** ![TruePisces](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/truepisces/32/13628_2.png) [@TruePisces](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruePisces)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2001, 10:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truepisces-flirting-workshop-come-one-come-all/60347/308 "2001-04-04T10:37:05Z")
_walks out of her office, tucking in her shirt, throwing a knowing smile at **LindyHopper** _ Now you know what “that” is for, I trust? We’ll have to set up another lab session soon. You’re doing very well, but I think you can still use some practice. _she glances at the main teaching room, seeing the carnage of what she’d missed in the last 24 hours_ _sigh_ Ok, boys and girls, this _is_ a _flirt_ Academy. While flirting might often turn into more, this is the place to learn how to flirt, not how to… umm… you know! 🙂 The innuendos are great… that’s often an important part of flirting. But getting explicit in here is **definitely** not what I had in mind. And professors, remember the _students_ are our first priority. Always. So keep that in mind and go on with the wonderful work you’ve been doing. And, **Arden** , thank you for keeping things in order while I was gone… 🙂 Now, let me see how much of my backlog I can get cleared up here. Sad to say, but I **am** going to have to cut down on my one-on-one sessions. As the Dean of the Academy, I do have other responsibilities that are not being met. So, at this time, I am not taking on any new students for one-on-one instruction. But the other professors are here and more than happy to teach you what you need to know. Lectures will still be given by me from time to time. All are welcome to attend. **moi** , you’re doing great! The flirting technique looks wonderful! And you’ve got one of my best profs there, too! 🙂 **Robot Arm** - Ok, I think we need to start back at the beginning. Your flirting **does** need a little work. You seem to be having a tougher time with the innuendo end of flirting. How about the compliment side? Let’s try it from that angle. You’re at a party and meet a woman you find very attractive. What do you say to her? **TPWombat** - I still like the pussy snorkel better. But if you feel you must use it, I’d go with “When you get to know her better” (along with “Hope she likes pain!”) 🙂 **Scralden** - Hon, I’m assigning you to **Falcon** - while not an instructor (yet), I’m sure you both can learn a lot from each other. (Oh, and by the way, you’ve passed… You’re part of my harem! :D. I’ll add you in momentarily. You just need to work it out with the other four who “visits” when. 😉 ) ---
**Author:** ![ChiefScott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58f4c7/32.png) [@ChiefScott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChiefScott)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2001, 10:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truepisces-flirting-workshop-come-one-come-all/60347/309 "2001-04-04T10:39:20Z")
OK. This is the flirting workshop. Can you point me to the fucking workshop or the mindless hot monkey sex seminar? ---
**Author:** ![TruePisces](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/truepisces/32/13628_2.png) [@TruePisces](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruePisces)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2001, 10:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truepisces-flirting-workshop-come-one-come-all/60347/310 "2001-04-04T10:41:47Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Tygr \* > \*\*[sub]…and GET that pencil OUTTA here! I NEVER engage in written tests. I’m much more into the _other_ kind.[/sub] \*\* Oh, oral exams are my favorite as well. I just like to make sure I’m ready for anything. > [@](#): > > **[sub]'sides, I’m fully aware that you work other implements MUCH better than you work a pencil.[/sub]** Well, I **have** been told that a time or two… > [@](#): > > \*\*woo-HOO! Made the _teacher_ blush. Does that earn me extra credit? \*\* I think a little _something_ extra can be arranged… > [@](#): > > \*\*I don’t want the rest of the class to think I’m sucking up to you (even though that DOES sound like fun - hmmm, maybe that’s what your office is for?), but I AM going to try for some extra credit: > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by TruePisces \* > > **I just got my new pussy snorkel in the mail, and I can’t wait to try it out!** > > :: Pulls out his wallet and presents a card.:: > > Ma’am, as you can see, I’m a fully licensed and qualified diver, and _I also give snorkling instrucion._ Allow me to offer you a full demonstration. And remember our motto - Divers go down better!\*\* I think you may just get one of the highest final grades ever given by this Academy. I don’t think I’ve ever _seen_ so much extra credit. Let’s go in my office so we can go over your work… _retreats back to her office, followed closely by **Tygr**. The door closes and the lock snaps shut audibly_ \*\* [/QUOTE] ---
**Author:** ![TruePisces](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/truepisces/32/13628_2.png) [@TruePisces](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruePisces)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2001, 10:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truepisces-flirting-workshop-come-one-come-all/60347/311 "2001-04-04T10:43:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ChiefScott \* > \*\*OK. > This is the flirting workshop. > Can you point me to the fucking workshop or the mindless hot monkey sex seminar? \*\* Three doors down on your right. I’ll be there giving some oral exams later tonight. ---
**Author:** ![ChiefScott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58f4c7/32.png) [@ChiefScott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChiefScott)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2001, 11:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truepisces-flirting-workshop-come-one-come-all/60347/312 "2001-04-04T11:05:33Z")
Oh, I just noticed. You’ll pay for that little addition to your sig, woman… ---
**Author:** ![TruePisces](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/truepisces/32/13628_2.png) [@TruePisces](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruePisces)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2001, 12:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truepisces-flirting-workshop-come-one-come-all/60347/313 "2001-04-04T12:08:18Z")
Promises, promises… I’ll believe it when I see it. ---
**Author:** ![Cyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a88e4f/32.png) [@Cyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cyn)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2001, 12:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truepisces-flirting-workshop-come-one-come-all/60347/314 "2001-04-04T12:13:31Z")
Did you say “peek” or “peak” ? Why, sir, I hardly know you! ---
**Author:** ![LindyHopper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ebca7d/32.png) [@LindyHopper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LindyHopper)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2001, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truepisces-flirting-workshop-come-one-come-all/60347/315 "2001-04-04T14:24:50Z")
:stumbling out of **TP** ’s office, trying to get out of the way of her and **Tygr** : Whew! Um…I’m exhausted. :looks down: Oops. :buckles belt: Well, thanks, **TP**! Let me know when you’re up for a rematch. You win…for now! Mwahahahahaha! :Collapses into a beanbag chair: ---
**Author:** ![dublos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f08c70/32.png) [@dublos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dublos)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2001, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truepisces-flirting-workshop-come-one-come-all/60347/316 "2001-04-04T14:46:34Z")
_Wanders out of his office to the kitchenette, grabs a cold mountain dew and pours some coffee_ Hey, did anyone notice the nice bathrooms they added to the offices? I thought the oversized shower enclosure with all those interesting fixtures and movable seats was great till I saw the bathtub built for 4. _Hands Moi her coffee, eyes lingering on her smile. Winks_ TruePisces, another graduate with honors here, and a strong recommendation that she be admitted for post-graduate studies if she chooses to apply for them. Looks around the waiting area… Any open questions that haven’t been addressed or other students in need of some lab work? -Doug ---
**Author:** ![Falcon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/49beb7/32.png) [@Falcon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Falcon)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2001, 2:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truepisces-flirting-workshop-come-one-come-all/60347/317 "2001-04-04T14:56:46Z")
Okay, why is it that I get assigned to someone, and then they don’t post all day! 😉 _pouts_ Hrmpf. ---
**Author:** ![Tygr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/df788c/32.png) [@Tygr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tygr)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2001, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truepisces-flirting-workshop-come-one-come-all/60347/318 "2001-04-04T15:02:12Z")
::Tygr pushes the door to his office closed. He leaps onto his desk and begins doing… _ **The World’s Biggest Happy Dance!** _ 🙂 😃🙂 😃🙂 :D[sub]Sorry, ChiefScott![/sub]🙂 😃🙂 😃🙂 😃 After several minutes he remembers that his office door is 90% window. He slowly turns to look at the gawping faces of his office mates. He gingerly climbs down off his monitor and begins to gather the strewn papers off the floor and pile them back on his desk.:: Honestly. I might as well tell my boss to let me go home. I’m gonna get no work done here today. …and I _also_ just remembered that **Polycarp** works here with me. :eek::o [sub]Now, shall we back away from the real world? Let’s shall. I’m finding what’s happening in the virtual one MUCH more interesting…[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![TruePisces](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/truepisces/32/13628_2.png) [@TruePisces](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruePisces)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2001, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truepisces-flirting-workshop-come-one-come-all/60347/319 "2001-04-04T15:25:40Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Falcon \* > \*\*Okay, why is it that I get assigned to someone, and then they don’t post all day! 😉 > > _pouts_ Hrmpf. \*\* 'Cause the poor dear isn’t like the rest of us… He doesn’t have computer access because he has a job where he works with his _hands_ all day… You can thank me later, **Falcon**! 😉 **dublos** - From what I saw, I have to agree. She can study under you for the duration of her courses. Teach her well. **Tygr** - _blush_ **LindyHopper** - Rematch it is. [sub]Back to work in the real world. _sigh_ Please, please let me get a job in NY that won’t be so mind numbing![/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2001, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truepisces-flirting-workshop-come-one-come-all/60347/320 "2001-04-04T15:31:47Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by TruePisces \* > **Robot Arm** - Ok, I think we need to start back at the beginning. Your flirting **does** need a little work. You seem to be having a tougher time with the innuendo end of flirting. I’ll admit it’s not my strong suit, but in real life, never has a woman told me how eagerly she was awaiting the delivery of her erotic diving equipment. > [@](#): > > How about the compliment side? Let’s try it from that angle. You’re at a party and meet a woman you find very attractive. What do you say to her? I don’t have a standard approach. I would look for something spcific to talk about (at a concert I might try to talk about music, for example), but frequently I don’t come up with anything. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truepisces-flirting-workshop-come-one-come-all/60347.md?page=15) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truepisces-flirting-workshop-come-one-come-all/60347.md?page=17)