# TruePisces' Flirting Workshop - Come One, Come All **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 1, 2001, 6:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truepisces-flirting-workshop-come-one-come-all/60347 "2001-04-01T06:06:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![Enderw24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba9def/32.png) [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2001, 6:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truepisces-flirting-workshop-come-one-come-all/60347/141 "2001-04-02T06:26:39Z")
If you ever wondered how bad I was at flirting, I now have irrefutable proof to show you. A thread was started in my honor and I, apparently, remained clueless for well over 24 hours. I mean girls here were lining up the block to drool over me and I’m off bumbling around everyplace in the universe but here. 130 odd posts later, I’m left in the dust, clearly forgotten and unflirtworthy. This, folks, is the sad sad sad sad story of my life. One step behind and flirt too few. Hip hip hoo…eh, faggedaboudit. ---
**Author:** ![TruePisces](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/truepisces/32/13628_2.png) [@TruePisces](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruePisces)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2001, 10:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truepisces-flirting-workshop-come-one-come-all/60347/142 "2001-04-02T10:32:52Z")
_walks in, refreshed after a good night’s sleep, does a double-take when she sees how many people are here_ Wow! We’re starting to get full in here! **Verrain** , I’m glad you decided to drop in when you got back from your weekend away. **Ender** , doesn’t matter _when_ you got here, you’re here. And **dublos** , I **KNEW** there was a reason I made you an instructor so quickly… You’ve got the _knack_! Now, to take care of a little business… **Falcon** - Seems like **dublos** is taking care of your instruction well. Listen to him. He was trained well. And I know a certain someone who you can practice with IRL. (And heck, if it comes down to it, I’ll volunteer **lurker** for flirting duties so you can practice with him after I move up there!!! 😃 ) > [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Scralden_ > **Online, I can’t make the first flirt, or return > the initial flirt skillfully. Once I get flirting > with someone I usually do alright.** Well… > [@](#): > > **You are truly merciful that’s what makes you such > a wonderful Goddess, and redemption isn’t the only > thing that comes easy from your attention 😉** Just do that kind of thing, and you’re well on your way! But I do think you can use more practice… So… Just what _other_ things that come easy from my attention were you thinking of, hmmm? > [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Enderw24_ > \*\*If you ever wondered how bad I was at flirting, I now have irrefutable proof to show you. A thread was started in my honor and I, apparently, remained clueless for well over 24 hours. I mean girls here were lining up the block to drool over me and I’m off bumbling around everyplace in the universe but here. 130 odd posts later, I’m left in the dust, clearly forgotten and unflirtworthy. \*\* Oh no you aren’t! Don’t you _DARE_ go anywhere! (I like to use that phrase a lot, don’t I? 😉 ) I started this thread in your honor and as such, you’re going to stay here and learn how to flirt properly! And don’t make me pull that sit on your lap trick I told you about in the other thread. That’s only used in desperate cases, and you aren’t desperate! So, where to begin… (See, I’m not very good with the inital flirt myself, so even teaching this class is a learning experience for me!) Well, lets go with the old tried and true pussy snorkel comment… I just got my new pussy snorkel in the mail. I can’t _wait_ to get a chance to try it out! And your reply…? ---
**Author:** ![ChiefScott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58f4c7/32.png) [@ChiefScott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChiefScott)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2001, 11:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truepisces-flirting-workshop-come-one-come-all/60347/143 "2001-04-02T11:19:47Z")
::Follows **Pisces** into room hiking up tattered briefs:: I, um… I better get to work. ::Sheepish grin, as if I played all night:: ---
**Author:** ![Blackclaw](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e68b1a/32.png) [@Blackclaw](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackclaw)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2001, 11:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truepisces-flirting-workshop-come-one-come-all/60347/144 "2001-04-02T11:47:28Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by TruePisces \* > OH no you don’t! Most of the people in here are instructors, anyway. Come in, take your choice of instructors, and let the lessons begin! \*\* But… um… I’m clearly out of my league here. In real life my natural cuteness buys me time to be witty. That’s hard to leverage on a message board.(I used to regret only being cute and not handsome, but now I’ve learned that cuteness has it’s own advantages.) Additionally, i just can’t keep up with the flurry of messages here. Don’t you folks have Everquest to play? ---
**Author:** ![ChiefScott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58f4c7/32.png) [@ChiefScott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChiefScott)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2001, 12:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truepisces-flirting-workshop-come-one-come-all/60347/145 "2001-04-02T12:09:59Z")
Actually, we try to play “ForeverQuake” with the ladies… ---
**Author:** ![Verrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/46a35a/32.png) [@Verrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Verrain)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2001, 1:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truepisces-flirting-workshop-come-one-come-all/60347/146 "2001-04-02T13:21:53Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ChiefScott \* > \*\*Actually, we try to play “ForeverQuake” with the ladies… \*\* The “ForeverQuake Arena” does have a fine ring to it, doesn’t it? ---
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2001, 1:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truepisces-flirting-workshop-come-one-come-all/60347/147 "2001-04-02T13:24:50Z")
Come here, **Verrain** , I’ll make your arena quake. ---
**Author:** ![lurkernomore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d6d6ee/32.png) [@lurkernomore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lurkernomore)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2001, 1:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truepisces-flirting-workshop-come-one-come-all/60347/148 "2001-04-02T13:26:07Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by TruePisces \* > [B} > > **Falcon** - Seems like **dublos** is taking care of your instruction well. Listen to him. He was trained well. And I know a certain someone who you can practice with IRL. (And heck, if it comes down to it, I’ll volunteer **lurker** for flirting duties so you can practice with him after I move up there!!! 😃 ) > > \*\* ``` WTF?????? Sending me to teach someone how to flirt is like sending Pauly Shore to lead a plasma physics symposium!! Particularly IRL flirting!!!! ``` ---
**Author:** ![Verrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/46a35a/32.png) [@Verrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Verrain)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2001, 1:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truepisces-flirting-workshop-come-one-come-all/60347/149 "2001-04-02T13:32:42Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Arden Ranger \* > \*\*Come here, **Verrain** , I’ll make your arena quake. \*\* The earth always moves when get together, **Arden**. What did you have in mind? ---
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2001, 1:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truepisces-flirting-workshop-come-one-come-all/60347/150 "2001-04-02T13:40:50Z")
Now see, **Verrain** , that was a good one! Mind if I sit in your lap while you tell me new and exciting ways we can make the earth move? ---
**Author:** ![Verrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/46a35a/32.png) [@Verrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Verrain)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2001, 1:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truepisces-flirting-workshop-come-one-come-all/60347/151 "2001-04-02T13:48:29Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Arden Ranger \* > \*\*Now see, **Verrain** , that was a good one! > > Mind if I sit in your lap while you tell me new and exciting ways we can make the earth move? \*\* Please do, my dear. I would not miss an opporunity to see your peaks and valleys up close. ---
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2001, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truepisces-flirting-workshop-come-one-come-all/60347/152 "2001-04-02T13:51:31Z")
:: Settles on Verrian’s lap :: You sir, are an imposter. Claiming to need flirting help when you don’t. ---
**Author:** ![Verrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/46a35a/32.png) [@Verrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Verrain)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2001, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truepisces-flirting-workshop-come-one-come-all/60347/153 "2001-04-02T13:59:09Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Arden Ranger \* > \*\*:: Settles on Verrian’s lap :: > > You sir, are an imposter. Claiming to need flirting help when you don’t. \*\* I confess, dear lady, it was all a ruse to get you where you are now. ::slides arms around waist:: I do hope you will let me atone for my deceit. ---
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2001, 2:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truepisces-flirting-workshop-come-one-come-all/60347/154 "2001-04-02T14:04:19Z")
:: idly twirls his hair around her finger :: Well… don’t look at me with those puppy dog eyes! I’m trying to think! :: sigh :: [sub]women are such suckers for the puppy dog eyes[/sub] Now that I’m here, what do you plan to do with me? ---
**Author:** ![Enderw24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba9def/32.png) [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2001, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truepisces-flirting-workshop-come-one-come-all/60347/155 "2001-04-02T14:24:06Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by TruePisces \* > \*\*So, where to begin… (See, I’m not very good with the inital flirt myself, so even teaching this class is a learning experience for me!) Well, lets go with the old tried and true pussy snorkel comment… > > I just got my new pussy snorkel in the mail. I can’t _wait_ to get a chance to try it out! > And your reply…? \*\* Um…heh…gulp. :o I’ve got legs! ---
**Author:** ![ChiefScott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58f4c7/32.png) [@ChiefScott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChiefScott)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2001, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truepisces-flirting-workshop-come-one-come-all/60347/156 "2001-04-02T14:27:14Z")
An **Ender** fails his placement exam miserably… ---
**Author:** ![Tygr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/df788c/32.png) [@Tygr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tygr)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2001, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truepisces-flirting-workshop-come-one-come-all/60347/157 "2001-04-02T14:50:17Z")
See, I spend my weekend on yardwork instead of here where I could truly LEARN something… **TruePisces** - it is my considered opinion that I’m still too much of a newbie to hold my own when it comes to online flirting - well ACTUALLY, I’m just usually _left_ holding my own. ☹ > [@](#): > > _Spoken in a bad Hungarian accent:_ > \*\*Do yoo waaaahnt to kome bak to my plaice bouncy-bouncy? \*\* There. That’s my best attempt at flirting. Or this (even worse): > [@](#): > > _Spoken in same bad Hungarian accent:_ > \*\*Eef I sed yoo had a byootiful boddy, woud yoo hold it aginst me? \*\* My whole arsenal, and it’s not even original material - just worn-out Python quotes… Actually, my biggest problem is one of timing. By the time I FIND the good flirt-y threads, everybody’s already paired off and I’m left all wallflowery. I had one brief, shining moment on the Mistletoe thread, but even that didn’t happen 'til the third page. And, besides, that was back before Christmas, FCOL! Practically an eternity here on the boards. _ **So…** _ I’m gonna turn in an entrance exam so you can look it over (or just overlook it) and see if there’s enough raw material to work with. But please hurry! If I wait much longer, my material will be TOO raw for anyone to work with. Tygr’s Test: > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by TruePisces \* > \*\*So what do you need some tutoring/tips on? \*\* Yes, I’d like you to teach me. Especially if your tutoring tips are as nice as your… ah, OTHER tips. PART THE SECONDE: > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by TruePisces \* > \*\*I had things well in hand while I was waiting for you to get here… \*\* Yes, if you could have MY thing well in hand I’d learn much from you, too! ::Tygr settles back to await word from the Emissions… I mean ADmissions Board.:: ---
**Author:** ![Cumber](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b5ac83/32.png) [@Cumber](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cumber)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2001, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truepisces-flirting-workshop-come-one-come-all/60347/158 "2001-04-02T15:06:57Z")
I need help. I couldn’t flirt if my life depended on it. Well, certainly not IRL anyway… online I’ve had a bit more success, but highly erratically. Sometimes it just happens and is a lot of fun, but if I set out to flirt deliberately I can never think of anything to say and I wind up self conscious and miserable. ---
**Author:** ![Verrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/46a35a/32.png) [@Verrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Verrain)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2001, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truepisces-flirting-workshop-come-one-come-all/60347/159 "2001-04-02T15:22:53Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Arden Ranger \* > \*\*:: idly twirls his hair around her finger :: > > Well… > > don’t look at me with those puppy dog eyes! I’m trying to think! > > :: sigh :: > > [sub]women are such suckers for the puppy dog eyes[/sub] > > Now that I’m here, what do you plan to do with me? \*\* ::rubbing the small of her back:: So many delightful possibilities, how could a man ever choose? ---
**Author:** ![UncleBill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/d26b3c/32.png) [@UncleBill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBill)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2001, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truepisces-flirting-workshop-come-one-come-all/60347/160 "2001-04-02T15:23:32Z")
[Old SNL Sr. Mary whatever voice] Class… Class… CLASS… **CLASS!!!..SHUTUP!!** Thank you.[/Old SNL Sr. Mary whatever voice] IRL Flirting 101 Symposium will commence April 7th, 2001, at the University of Spiffled main campus. Graduate courses (IRL Flirting 401 and 451) will be given on a case by case basis, pending approval of prerequisites. We have as a Special Visiting Professor, **UncleBill** , PhD., in the Science of Love, Passion, and Flirtation. Class size is limited, and students may choose to supply their own laboratory equipment. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truepisces-flirting-workshop-come-one-come-all/60347.md?page=7) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truepisces-flirting-workshop-come-one-come-all/60347.md?page=9)