# TruePisces' Flirting Workshop - Come One, Come All **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 1, 2001, 6:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truepisces-flirting-workshop-come-one-come-all/60347 "2001-04-01T06:06:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 9
**Author:** ![Cyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a88e4f/32.png) [@Cyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cyn)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2001, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truepisces-flirting-workshop-come-one-come-all/60347/161 "2001-04-02T15:32:51Z")
I’ve been learning by lecture and feel ready for a lab practical. But how to start? IRL, I would gaze softly upon the object of my desire and say “hi”, while doing the glance up into his face, then glance down (who really knows where?) then back up to his face and give the tiniest smile… ---
**Author:** ![Falcon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/49beb7/32.png) [@Falcon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Falcon)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2001, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truepisces-flirting-workshop-come-one-come-all/60347/162 "2001-04-02T15:42:05Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by UncleBill \* > \*\*[Old SNL Sr. Mary whatever voice] Class… Class… CLASS… **CLASS!!!..SHUTUP!!** Thank you.[/Old SNL Sr. Mary whatever voice] > > IRL Flirting 101 Symposium will commence April 7th, 2001, at the University of Spiffled main campus.\*\* Where do I sign up, teacher? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![MagicalSilverKey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8797f3/32.png) [@MagicalSilverKey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MagicalSilverKey)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2001, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truepisces-flirting-workshop-come-one-come-all/60347/163 "2001-04-02T15:48:21Z")
**TruePisces** Great thread! I am LMAO at a lot of the craziness that is going on in here. I still have a lot to read yet. > [@](#): > > So, you see an attractive SDMB lady (I think that sums up all of us) and you know you want to flirt with her. In a thread where a flirt seems appropriate, she mentions the pussy snorkle. What do you say? I would say: “A _true_ captain would not hesitate to _go down_ with his vessel, and would have no need of, or desire for, a pussy snorkel. Ahoy, mate 😉 (winks at Pisces) All aboard!” How was that one, True Pisces? ---
**Author:** ![TruePisces](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/truepisces/32/13628_2.png) [@TruePisces](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruePisces)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2001, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truepisces-flirting-workshop-come-one-come-all/60347/164 "2001-04-02T16:24:05Z")
I better go through these one at a time so I don’t miss anything… _sigh_ The things I miss when I have to do work IRL… > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ChiefScott \* > \*\*::Follows **Pisces** into room hiking up tattered briefs:: > > I, um… I better get to work. > > ::Sheepish grin, as if I played all night:: \*\* Just make sure you’re back for another “planning session” tonight… [sub]Sleep? Who needs sleep?[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![TruePisces](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/truepisces/32/13628_2.png) [@TruePisces](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruePisces)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2001, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truepisces-flirting-workshop-come-one-come-all/60347/165 "2001-04-02T16:31:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Blackclaw \* > \*\*But… um… I’m clearly out of my league here. In real life my natural cuteness buys me time to be witty. That’s hard to leverage on a message board.(I used to regret only being cute and not handsome, but now I’ve learned that cuteness has it’s own advantages.) Additionally, i just can’t keep up with the flurry of messages here. Don’t you folks have Everquest to play? \*\* Heck, hon, **I** can’t keep up with the flurry of messages here, and I teach the damn class! Yesterday, I spent _all_ afternoon here, trying to keep up. Which meant that the packing I’d meant to do for my move didn’t exactly get done. (Thankfully, it’s not _yet_ an immediate thing) So just do as I do, jump in and answer whatever you feel like. As far as being out of your league, there are people of **all** flirting abilities and experience in here. There is no “league”. If you really want to learn how to flirt OL, stick around, ask for advice, watch the interaction, scribble notes like **moi** is doing… But you **can** learn a thing or two here… ---
**Author:** ![TruePisces](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/truepisces/32/13628_2.png) [@TruePisces](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruePisces)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2001, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truepisces-flirting-workshop-come-one-come-all/60347/166 "2001-04-02T16:42:48Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by lurkernomore \* > \*\* WTF??? Sending me to teach someone how to flirt is like sending Pauly Shore to lead a plasma physics symposium!! Particularly IRL flirting!!! \*\* **lurker** darling, I didn’t say _teach_, I said she could _practice_ with you. I’ll be there to give pointers! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![TruePisces](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/truepisces/32/13628_2.png) [@TruePisces](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruePisces)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2001, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truepisces-flirting-workshop-come-one-come-all/60347/167 "2001-04-02T16:59:06Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Enderw24 \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by TruePisces \* > > \*\*I just got my new pussy snorkel in the mail. I can’t _wait_ to get a chance to try it out! > > And your reply…? \*\* > > Um…heh…gulp. :o > > I’ve got legs! \*\* > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ChiefScott \* > **An Ender fails his placement exam miserably…** Shush, **Chief** , he didn’t fail his exam. He just placed back in the beginners class. So let’s try again. Read what’s been posted already to get a feel for things… You made that comment. My next comment is Oh, is that so you can walk here to give it a test? And you say… ---
**Author:** ![UncleBill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/d26b3c/32.png) [@UncleBill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBill)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2001, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truepisces-flirting-workshop-come-one-come-all/60347/168 "2001-04-02T17:06:33Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Falcon \* > \*\*Where do I sign up, teacher? 🙂 \*\* The Symposium has an open door policy, so I can flirt with whichever waitress draws the short straw and has to put up with us Saturday! ---
**Author:** ![TruePisces](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/truepisces/32/13628_2.png) [@TruePisces](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruePisces)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2001, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truepisces-flirting-workshop-come-one-come-all/60347/169 "2001-04-02T17:30:47Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Tygr \* > **Actually, my biggest problem is one of timing. By the time I FIND the good flirt-y threads, everybody’s already paired off and I’m left all wallflowery. I had one brief, shining moment on the Mistletoe thread, but even that didn’t happen 'til the third page. And, besides, that was back before Christmas, FCOL! Practically an eternity here on the boards.** First tip, pop in anyway. You wouldn’t believe how many threads I’ve just said “I’m here, waiting for someone to get free.” in and ended up flirting with a couple different guys. If you’re out there lurking in the thread, there’s a bet that there’s a bunch of others out there doing the same thing. You popping in and putting your two pennies in just might get someone else to do the same… And there’s your flirt partner! > [@](#): > > \*\*_ **So…** _ > I’m gonna turn in an entrance exam so you can look it over (or just overlook it) and see if there’s enough raw material to work with. But please hurry! If I wait much longer, my material will be TOO raw for anyone to work with. > > Tygr’s Test: > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by TruePisces \* > > \*\*So what do you need some tutoring/tips on? \*\* > > Yes, I’d like you to teach me. Especially if your tutoring tips are as nice as your… ah, OTHER tips.\*\* Well, why don’t _you_ be the judge of that??? [sub]First part gets full marks[/sub] > [@](#): > > \*\*PART THE SECONDE: > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by TruePisces \* > > \*\*I had things well in hand while I was waiting for you to get here… \*\* > > Yes, if you could have MY thing well in hand I’d learn much from you, too!\*\* What if I moved it from my hand to some place a little… warmer? [sub]Second part gets full marks[/sub] > [@](#): > > \*\*::Tygr settles back to await word from the Emissions… I mean ADmissions Board.:: \*\* Full marks all the way around. Seems like the only thing you need is a little more practice… So practice away! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![TruePisces](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/truepisces/32/13628_2.png) [@TruePisces](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruePisces)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2001, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truepisces-flirting-workshop-come-one-come-all/60347/170 "2001-04-02T17:41:56Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Cumber \* > \*\*I need help. I couldn’t flirt if my life depended on it. Well, certainly not IRL anyway… online I’ve had a bit more success, but highly erratically. Sometimes it just happens and is a lot of fun, but if I set out to flirt deliberately I can never think of anything to say and I wind up self conscious and miserable. \*\* So are you wanting RL pointers or OL pointers? Tell me where you need some guidance, and I’ll make sure you get whatever help that can be provided (as well as all the flirt practice partners you can imagine, at least OL!) ---
**Author:** ![TruePisces](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/truepisces/32/13628_2.png) [@TruePisces](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruePisces)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2001, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truepisces-flirting-workshop-come-one-come-all/60347/171 "2001-04-02T17:51:38Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by UncleBill \* > \*\*[Old SNL Sr. Mary whatever voice] Class… Class… CLASS… **CLASS!!!..SHUTUP!!** Thank you.[/Old SNL Sr. Mary whatever voice] > > IRL Flirting 101 Symposium will commence April 7th, 2001, at the University of Spiffled main campus. Graduate courses (IRL Flirting 401 and 451) will be given on a case by case basis, pending approval of prerequisites. We have as a Special Visiting Professor, **UncleBill** , PhD., in the Science of Love, Passion, and Flirtation. Class size is limited, and students may choose to supply their own laboratory equipment. \*\* Damn you, **Bill**! Do it to me every time… Throwing classes that I can’t attend. Never decide to co-teach one with me here in FL… I expect notes from all attendees and a thorough demonstration here when you get back. Got to make sure that my professors are doing a thorough job in their Symposiums, after all! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![TruePisces](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/truepisces/32/13628_2.png) [@TruePisces](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruePisces)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2001, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truepisces-flirting-workshop-come-one-come-all/60347/172 "2001-04-02T17:58:29Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Cyn \* > **I’ve been learning by lecture and feel ready for a lab practical. > But how to start? > IRL, I would gaze softly upon the object of my desire and say “hi”, while doing the glance up into his face, then glance down (who really knows where?) then back up to his face and give the tiniest smile…** I’d offer to take you to the lab, but I don’t think I’m quite the right gender for that… 🙂 Ok, guys. **UncleBill**? **dublos**? **Chief**? We’ve got a lady in waiting here… Bring her to the lab! ---
**Author:** ![dantheman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dantheman/32/9421_2.png) [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2001, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truepisces-flirting-workshop-come-one-come-all/60347/173 "2001-04-02T18:05:01Z")
Would anyone mind if I just had someone videotape or audiotape the classes? I can’t make any of them, but I still want to receive credit when I transfer out of state. Thanks! ---
**Author:** ![lurkernomore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d6d6ee/32.png) [@lurkernomore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lurkernomore)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2001, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truepisces-flirting-workshop-come-one-come-all/60347/174 "2001-04-02T18:12:13Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by TruePisces \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by lurkernomore \* > > \*\* WTF??? Sending me to teach someone how to flirt is like sending Pauly Shore to lead a plasma physics symposium!! Particularly IRL flirting!!! \*\* > > **lurker** darling, I didn’t say _teach_, I said she could _practice_ with you. I’ll be there to give pointers! 😉 \*\* ``` Great. Now I'm like the dummy in CPR class..... ``` ---
**Author:** ![TruePisces](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/truepisces/32/13628_2.png) [@TruePisces](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruePisces)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2001, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truepisces-flirting-workshop-come-one-come-all/60347/175 "2001-04-02T18:14:38Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by MagicalSilverKey \* > \*\ ***TruePisces** > > Great thread! I am LMAO at a lot of the craziness that is going on in here. I still have a lot to read yet.\*\* Why, thank you! I really **did** start this thread to be more than just a “let’s everybody flirt/orgy” thread… I’m glad that at least _some_ pearls of wisdom have come across… And glad to see you made it over! 😉 > [@](#): > > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > So, you see an attractive SDMB lady (I think that sums up all of us) and you know you want to flirt with her. In a thread where a flirt seems appropriate, she mentions the pussy snorkle. What do you say? > > I would say: “A _true_ captain would not hesitate to _go down_ with his vessel, and would have no need of, or desire for, a pussy snorkel. Ahoy, mate 😉 (winks at Pisces) All aboard!” > > How was that one, True Pisces?\*\* Full marks! Just in need of a little more lab practice… Go down _with_ or go down _ON_? ---
**Author:** ![TruePisces](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/truepisces/32/13628_2.png) [@TruePisces](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruePisces)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2001, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truepisces-flirting-workshop-come-one-come-all/60347/176 "2001-04-02T18:27:13Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by dantheman \* > \*\*Would anyone mind if I just had someone videotape or audiotape the classes? I can’t make any of them, but I still want to receive credit when I transfer out of state. > > Thanks! \*\* You can video and audio tape the class, sure, but since it’s an online class, there _is_ no transferring. Besides, you’re supposed to be one of the _instructors_\* \*Any guy that has successfully flirted with me in any thread automatically gets promoted to Instructor, 'cause I _know_ you don’t need instruction! ---
**Author:** ![TruePisces](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/truepisces/32/13628_2.png) [@TruePisces](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruePisces)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2001, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truepisces-flirting-workshop-come-one-come-all/60347/177 "2001-04-02T18:34:58Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by lurkernomore \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by TruePisces \* > > \*\* > > > > > [@](#): > > > > > > \*Originally posted by lurkernomore \* > > > \*\* WTF??? Sending me to teach someone how to flirt is like sending Pauly Shore to lead a plasma physics symposium!! Particularly IRL flirting!!! \*\* > > > > **lurker** darling, I didn’t say _teach_, I said she could _practice_ with you. I’ll be there to give pointers! 😉 \*\* > > ``` > Great. Now I'm like the dummy in CPR class..... ** > > ``` Well, I **would** prefer you lying down… but I hope you move a little more than the dummy does. 😉 The dummy can’t flip me over… ---
**Author:** ![Falcon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/49beb7/32.png) [@Falcon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Falcon)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2001, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truepisces-flirting-workshop-come-one-come-all/60347/178 "2001-04-02T18:55:34Z")
Hey, TP? Would that be the part of the “practice” where I’d walk out the door? 😉 I mean…I don’t think you’d like me treating **lurker** like a CPR dummy… 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![dublos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f08c70/32.png) [@dublos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dublos)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2001, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truepisces-flirting-workshop-come-one-come-all/60347/179 "2001-04-02T19:04:01Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by lurkernomore \* > \*\*Great. Now I’m like the dummy in CPR class… \*\* Now considering who’s going to be giving mouth to mouth, or mouth to other parts during this class, are you really complaining about being the class dummy, or just commenting on it? I can think of a few time I’d have traded places with RecessiAnnie. -Doug ---
**Author:** ![Weirddave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/919ad9/32.png) [@Weirddave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Weirddave)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2001, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truepisces-flirting-workshop-come-one-come-all/60347/180 "2001-04-02T19:05:55Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by TruePisces \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by Cyn \* > > **I’ve been learning by lecture and feel ready for a lab practical. > > But how to start? > > IRL, I would gaze softly upon the object of my desire and say “hi”, while doing the glance up into his face, then glance down (who really knows where?) then back up to his face and give the tiniest smile…** > > I’d offer to take you to the lab, but I don’t think I’m quite the right gender for that… 🙂 > > Ok, guys. **UncleBill**? **dublos**? **Chief**? We’ve got a lady in waiting here… Bring her to the lab! \*\* TruePisces, I’ll help you out with the womenfolk, you seem to have your hands full with the guys. You want the corny stuff or the “A” material? Corny: “Hi Cyn! Why don’t you sit here on my lap and we’ll “talk” about the first thing that pops up!” The “A” stuff takes a lot longer. Let’s try some “B” material. ::Sets flirtometer™ to 6:: "Hi. So your name is Cyn? Are you Cynical…or is it just a delightful play on words? 😉 ) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truepisces-flirting-workshop-come-one-come-all/60347.md?page=8) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truepisces-flirting-workshop-come-one-come-all/60347.md?page=10)