# Truly smutty lines on broadcast TV **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [August 23, 2014, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truly-smutty-lines-on-broadcast-tv/696296 "2014-08-23T15:54:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Tread](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/53a042/32.png) [@Tread](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tread)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2014, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truly-smutty-lines-on-broadcast-tv/696296/21 "2014-08-24T00:09:55Z")
Moonlighting, in the 80s had one that really surprised me at the time David Addison ( Bruce Willis) made the statement that some woman bangs more than a screen door in a cyclone ---
**Author:** ![KarlGauss](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/karlgauss/32/3713_2.png) [@KarlGauss](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KarlGauss)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2014, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truly-smutty-lines-on-broadcast-tv/696296/22 "2014-08-24T00:11:48Z")
In one episode of Family Guy, Peter says to Meg, “When I get through with you, you’re gonna be beating guys off with both hands!” Another Family Guy episode has Quagmire being told that the sign on his van is spelled wrong, “There’s an ‘o’ in country” (or something like that). ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2014, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truly-smutty-lines-on-broadcast-tv/696296/23 "2014-08-24T00:23:20Z")
> [@Shoeless](#): > > The only line I remember from that show was when someone spilled a cup of coffee in his lap and he said “I hope that was decaf or I’m going to be up all night!” > > Modern Family has quite a few of these. One that stands out in my memory is when Cam takes over as director of the Jr High scool’s musical, and is talking about remembering the first time he was Sondheimized. Somehow they got away with [this one](http://i44.photobucket.com/albums/f44/JoeyJoeyPP/photobucket-2504-1350526065937.jpg) a few years ago. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2014, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truly-smutty-lines-on-broadcast-tv/696296/24 "2014-08-24T00:24:45Z")
Back in the autumn of '75 (I remember the time well because I was sharing an apartment with my brother), there was a detergent commercial (can’t remember which brand; maybe Cheer or Wisk) where an exasperated mother is standing by the washing machine looking at her teenaged daughter’s party dress: **EM:** **What** are all these **stains**?!? **TD:** (_Pointing_) That’s ice cream … cake … chocolate frosting … and _that’s_ where Tommy’s hot dog dripped on me! Great party! (_Twirls.)_ This one didn’t last long either. I’ve tried to find it on YouTube, but no luck so far. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_other_waldo_pepper/32/12370_2.png) [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Other_Waldo_Pepper)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2014, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truly-smutty-lines-on-broadcast-tv/696296/25 "2014-08-24T00:24:46Z")
Relaying all the relevant quotes from ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT would be quite a task. But even if it means me taking a chubby, I will suck it up! Hmm. I’m afraid I prematurely shot my wad on what was supposed to be a dry run, if you will, so I’m afraid I have something of a mess on my hands. ---
**Author:** ![Flywheel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb8c5e/32.png) [@Flywheel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flywheel)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2014, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truly-smutty-lines-on-broadcast-tv/696296/26 "2014-08-24T00:27:47Z")
You, sir, are a mouthful. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2014, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truly-smutty-lines-on-broadcast-tv/696296/27 "2014-08-24T00:37:40Z")
> [@Flywheel](#): > > You, sir, are a mouthful. Come again? :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2014, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truly-smutty-lines-on-broadcast-tv/696296/28 "2014-08-24T00:54:52Z")
I’ll leave when I’m good and ready! ---
**Author:** ![Flywheel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb8c5e/32.png) [@Flywheel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flywheel)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2014, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truly-smutty-lines-on-broadcast-tv/696296/29 "2014-08-24T01:05:56Z")
From _Full House_: “Horoscope? What’s that, Kimmy? A telescope that can only see your face?” ---
**Author:** ![zoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zoid/32/336_2.png) [@zoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zoid)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2014, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truly-smutty-lines-on-broadcast-tv/696296/30 "2014-08-24T01:10:13Z")
Another Simpsons (from memory so perhaps not an exact quote): Homer is staying with a gay couple, one has made breakfast and the other is complaining… Homer: Calm down Picky Ricardo, he made us a great breakfast and you’re just riding his butt… and not in a good way. ---
**Author:** ![Cyros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a698b9/32.png) [@Cyros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cyros)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2014, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truly-smutty-lines-on-broadcast-tv/696296/31 "2014-08-24T01:27:41Z")
> [@Flywheel](#): > > From _Full House_: “Horoscope? What’s that, Kimmy? A telescope that can only see your face?” Pretty sure that would have been a horror-scope reference and not a whore - o-scope one. ---
**Author:** ![Peter\_Morris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peter_morris/32/359_2.png) [@Peter\_Morris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peter_Morris)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2014, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truly-smutty-lines-on-broadcast-tv/696296/32 "2014-08-24T01:37:05Z")
> [@Joey\_P](#): > > On iCarly, Sam (and some of the other cast) use the word ‘chiz’ quite a bit. It’s an obvious substitute for ‘shit’. I’m still waiting for my daughter to ask me what it means. "A chiz is a swiz or swindle as any fule kno. " - Nigel Molesworth ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2014, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truly-smutty-lines-on-broadcast-tv/696296/33 "2014-08-24T01:47:33Z")
“Milk, milk, lemonade; around the corner, fudge is made!” seems to be gaining in popularity. I’ve heard it on a couple of shows. ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2014, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truly-smutty-lines-on-broadcast-tv/696296/34 "2014-08-24T02:10:33Z")
On the Mary Tyler Moore Show, there was a guy that both Rhoda and Mary were falling all over because he was so handsome. He was square-jawed and broad-shouldered, and at least 6’4, maybe taller, and they kept going on about how good looking and manly he was. Guy’s name was Rod Porter. Some of the audience got it, but not everyone, because when his name would be mentioned, there’d be mild little giggles and snickers, but no real laughter. This was way back in like 1972. I’m also a little amused, and still slightly uncomfortable at how often the word “shmuk” gets used. It gets used incorrectly to mean something more like “shmo,” or “nebbish,” but once and a while someone uses it correctly, and I feel like I’m six years old, because that was a word I was _ **NOT** _ permitted to say when I was a kid. That was a word you got your mouth washed out with soap for saying. It means someone who is despicable, and you are making no bones about it. It was as shocking when I was a kid as the word that refers to having sex with one’s maternal parent. ---
**Author:** ![bump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7c8e57/32.png) [@bump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bump)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2014, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truly-smutty-lines-on-broadcast-tv/696296/35 "2014-08-24T02:11:37Z")
> [@terentii](#): > > “Milk, milk, lemonade; around the corner, fudge is made!” seems to be gaining in popularity. I’ve heard it on a couple of shows. As far as TV is concerned, wasn’t that originally a Karen line from “Will and Grace” some 10 years ago? ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2014, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truly-smutty-lines-on-broadcast-tv/696296/36 "2014-08-24T02:26:10Z")
> [@bump](#): > > As far as TV is concerned, wasn’t that originally a Karen line from “Will and Grace” some 10 years ago? She said it on the Jack Black episode, but I’d swear I’d heard it before that. ETA, I mean, I’d heard it as a school-yard type thing, not on TV. ---
**Author:** ![Accidental\_Martyr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ce7236/32.png) [@Accidental\_Martyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Accidental_Martyr)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2014, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truly-smutty-lines-on-broadcast-tv/696296/37 "2014-08-24T02:36:13Z")
> [@Quimby](#): > > I watched Two Broke Girls for its first several episodes and they had several. One that comes to mind was a joke about one of the characters getting a facial (the porn kind, not the other one). Previous thread about anal sex joke on _Two Broke Girls_. > **[Anal sex joke on U.S. primetime show?!?](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=683428)** > > So I was finishing up an episode of The Big Bang Theory on my DVR and a few minutes from Two Broke Girls were recorded next. Having never seen the show, I watched it. In the opening scene, the two main characters were discussing dating nowadays. I... ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2014, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truly-smutty-lines-on-broadcast-tv/696296/38 "2014-08-24T02:40:32Z")
> [@bump](#): > > As far as TV is concerned, wasn’t that originally a Karen line from “Will and Grace” some 10 years ago? Could be. I haven’t lived in the US for more than 20 years now, and I’ve never seen an episode of that series. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2014, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truly-smutty-lines-on-broadcast-tv/696296/39 "2014-08-24T02:43:09Z")
> [@RivkahChaya](#): > > It was as shocking when I was a kid as the word that refers to having sex with one’s maternal parent. Which is? :dubious: Come on, don’t keep us in suspense here!\* \*I’m, uh, an erstwhile student of the Yiddish language. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2014, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truly-smutty-lines-on-broadcast-tv/696296/40 "2014-08-24T04:33:13Z")
From _30 Rock_: “It wouldn’t be a Lemon party without old Dick!” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truly-smutty-lines-on-broadcast-tv/696296.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/truly-smutty-lines-on-broadcast-tv/696296.md?page=3)