# Trump is dying **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Tags:** trump\ **Created:** [August 27, 2025, 7:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trump-is-dying/1022520 "2025-08-27T07:09:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 121
**Author:** ![Smapti](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smapti/32/17938_2.png) [@Smapti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smapti)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2026, 6:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trump-is-dying/1022520/2402 "2026-04-22T06:18:55Z")
> [@Gatopescado](#): > > I’ll bet if JD had a dog, it would run away if given the opportunity. He does, and as you might expect, he’s completely incapable of being normal about it. > **[JD Vance says Secret Service agents are 'grateful' family German shepherd...](https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/2025/11/01/jd-vance-family-dog-secret-service/87034202007/)** > > Unlike the German shepherds owned by President Biden, the vice president's dog Atlas doesn't scare the Secret Service, JD Vance said. ---
**Author:** ![Atamasama](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atamasama/32/12961_2.png) [@Atamasama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atamasama)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2026, 6:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trump-is-dying/1022520/2403 "2026-04-22T06:33:57Z")
> [@DWMarch](#): > > You mean we can recycle him by turning him inside out and shaking the fuck out of him? I think it means he’ll be found wedged between the couch cushions. ---
**Author:** ![DWMarch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dwmarch/32/1010_2.png) [@DWMarch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DWMarch)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2026, 6:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trump-is-dying/1022520/2404 "2026-04-22T06:49:44Z")
Generous of you to assume he would use protection. I see him as more a “the couch was asking for it” type. ---
**Author:** ![Atamasama](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atamasama/32/12961_2.png) [@Atamasama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atamasama)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2026, 6:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trump-is-dying/1022520/2405 "2026-04-22T06:54:37Z")
> [@DWMarch](#): > > Generous of you to assume he would use protection. The rumor was that he used an inside-out latex glove in the couch to get his rocks off; a condom is pretty close. It had nothing to do with protection. ---
**Author:** ![DesertDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/desertdog/32/11503_2.png) [@DesertDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DesertDog)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2026, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trump-is-dying/1022520/2406 "2026-04-22T16:57:34Z")
> [@Gatopescado](#): > > I don’t believe there is such a thing. I’ll bet if JD had a dog, it would run away if given the opportunity. I recently read of an old Scotswoman who was castigating a queue-breaker. “I’d bet your dog wags its tail when you leave!” ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba9def/32.png) [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Asking_Questions)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2026, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trump-is-dying/1022520/2407 "2026-04-22T18:05:51Z")
> [@Atamasama](#): > > I think it means he’ll be found wedged between the couch cushions. I get the reference, but… I’d say more like find him on a beach at Coney island. ---
**Author:** ![Sylvanz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/fbc32d/32.png) [@Sylvanz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sylvanz)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2026, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trump-is-dying/1022520/2408 "2026-04-22T19:01:36Z")
Ugh!!! ---
**Author:** ![Smapti](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smapti/32/17938_2.png) [@Smapti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smapti)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2026, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trump-is-dying/1022520/2409 "2026-04-22T19:56:15Z")
Trump is now tweeting about that TV show he was on once. [![](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:bdvnkv3wu5kgtmvto4xsp6on/bafkreiact2xhdqzno7262swsf35vfkn3dj62fjjx5pwqgu2zldzy23fh7m) ](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:bdvnkv3wu5kgtmvto4xsp6on/bafkreiact2xhdqzno7262swsf35vfkn3dj62fjjx5pwqgu2zldzy23fh7m) ---
**Author:** ![sciurophobic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cab0a1/32.png) [@sciurophobic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sciurophobic)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2026, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trump-is-dying/1022520/2410 "2026-04-22T20:11:24Z")
> [@enipla](#): > > Trump is no longer welcome in the situation room because he’s so out of control. That alone makes him unqualified to be President. ---
**Author:** ![enipla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/54ee81/32.png) [@enipla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enipla)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2026, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trump-is-dying/1022520/2411 "2026-04-22T21:47:51Z")
> [@sciurophobic](#): > > That alone makes him unqualified to be President. Why he was unqualified used to be able to be bullet points. Then a numbered list. Then chapters. Now it’s a book with a bibliography. ---
**Author:** ![Atamasama](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atamasama/32/12961_2.png) [@Atamasama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atamasama)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2026, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trump-is-dying/1022520/2412 "2026-04-22T22:08:41Z")
> [@Smapti](#): > > Trump is now tweeting about that TV show he was on once. It’s sad when the POTUS has to go back in time more than two decades ago to remind the populace about a time when he had a small measure of success in something. ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2026, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trump-is-dying/1022520/2413 "2026-04-23T00:32:12Z")
Trump is imploring Iran not to execute eight AI generated women. I checked Truth Social, it’s still there. [![](https://i.ibb.co/k6XqVK78/FB-IMG-1776903475135.jpg) ](https://i.ibb.co/k6XqVK78/FB-IMG-1776903475135.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![ThelmaLou](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thelmalou/32/390_2.png) [@ThelmaLou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThelmaLou)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2026, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trump-is-dying/1022520/2414 "2026-04-23T01:00:42Z")
Maybe Donnie should send in an AI-generated team of commandos (or some shit like that) to rescue them and fly them in an AI-generated version of Air Force One to Mar-a-Lago where he can show them off in a beauty pageant. Get FAUXNews to cover it live. Sort of. Yeah, that’s the ticket. ---
**Author:** ![Atamasama](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atamasama/32/12961_2.png) [@Atamasama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atamasama)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2026, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trump-is-dying/1022520/2415 "2026-04-23T01:29:43Z")
“Due to my SKILLFUL negotiations they have been released and are on this flash drive.” > [@ThelmaLou](#): > > Maybe Donnie should send in an AI-generated team of commandos (or some shit like that) to rescue them He can send all those NFT versions of himself to do it. ---
**Author:** ![Smapti](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smapti/32/17938_2.png) [@Smapti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smapti)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2026, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trump-is-dying/1022520/2416 "2026-04-23T01:41:33Z")
At least two of those “women” appear to be clones of Billie Piper. Clearly Trump is barking up the wrong tree - he needs to be asking the Doctor to help save them. ETA: Good news, everyone! His Dotage has declared that the fictional women have been saved. > **[Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump)](https://truthsocial.com/@realDonaldTrump/posts/116449429763121963)** > > RT: https://truthsocial.com/users/realDonaldTrump/statuses/116442908819175250Very good news! I have just been informed that the eight women protestors who were going to be executed tonight in Iran will no longer be killed. Four will be released... ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2026, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trump-is-dying/1022520/2417 "2026-04-23T01:44:43Z")
Soon he’ll be posting chain letters like my Aunt Gladys did. ---
**Author:** ![Q.Q.Switcheroo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/q.q.switcheroo/32/5713_2.png) [@Q.Q.Switcheroo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.Q.Switcheroo)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2026, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trump-is-dying/1022520/2418 "2026-04-23T01:47:28Z")
I swear one of those women looks just like my girlfriend in Canada! ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2026, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trump-is-dying/1022520/2419 "2026-04-23T01:54:43Z")
Would I know her? ---
**Author:** ![Atamasama](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atamasama/32/12961_2.png) [@Atamasama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atamasama)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2026, 2:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trump-is-dying/1022520/2420 "2026-04-23T02:04:52Z")
The confusing thing is that Iran seems to confirm that Trump was referring to real women, but denying the assertion that they were ever slated for execution. They also say Trump had nothing to do with their fate. [_Reuters_: Trump says eight Iranian women won’t be executed, Iran disputes entire account](https://www.reuters.com/world/middle-east/trump-says-eight-iranian-women-wont-be-executed-iran-disputes-entire-account-2026-04-22/) > “Last night, Donald Trump, citing a completely false news story, called on Iran to overturn ​the death sentences of eight women,” Mizan said. > > “However, despite the ​false claim ⁠being revealed last night, Trump claimed in another post a few minutes ago that the sentences of eight protesting women who were supposed to be executed in Iran ⁠tonight have ​been overturned and thanked Iran!” > > The agency said a ​number of the women had already been released and some are facing charges that could result in ​prison but not death. The actual photos might have been AI, as the Iranian embassy in Saudi Arabia mocked Trump about it, but the women in question (who were Iranian protestors) do exist. > > > The White House @WhiteHouse ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2026, 3:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trump-is-dying/1022520/2421 "2026-04-23T03:20:21Z")
In the meantime, The Onion has purchased Infowars. Yeah. THAT Infowars. [https://www.npr.org/2026/04/20/nx-s1-5791726/the-onion-satirical-takeover-infowars-new-plan](https://www.npr.org/2026/04/20/nx-s1-5791726/the-onion-satirical-takeover-infowars-new-plan) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trump-is-dying/1022520.md?page=120) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trump-is-dying/1022520.md?page=122)