# Trump is dying **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Tags:** trump\ **Created:** [August 27, 2025, 7:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trump-is-dying/1022520 "2025-08-27T07:09:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 132
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2026, 12:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trump-is-dying/1022520/2622 "2026-05-13T00:07:50Z")
Just ask all the passengers to spit on your hands. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2026, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trump-is-dying/1022520/2623 "2026-05-13T00:55:41Z")
Offer him a chocolate-covered pretzel. ---
**Author:** ![Atamasama](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atamasama/32/12961_2.png) [@Atamasama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atamasama)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2026, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trump-is-dying/1022520/2624 "2026-05-13T03:31:58Z")
[![](https://i.redd.it/bt8ey6nduc7a1.jpg) ](https://i.redd.it/bt8ey6nduc7a1.jpg) [![](https://i0.wp.com/unfunnynerdtangent.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/07/rs_377x223-150328072444-jasonlee1.gif) ](https://i0.wp.com/unfunnynerdtangent.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/07/rs_377x223-150328072444-jasonlee1.gif) ---
**Author:** ![Smapti](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smapti/32/17938_2.png) [@Smapti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smapti)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2026, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trump-is-dying/1022520/2625 "2026-05-13T20:13:51Z")
**HANDWATCH '26** [![](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_fullsize/plain/did:plc:4llrhdclvdlmmynkwsmg5tdc/bafkreifdzxuquywk3wizu564ronsfahqeu4ygmaxpyffwzx3ga5wtjnpqa) ](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_fullsize/plain/did:plc:4llrhdclvdlmmynkwsmg5tdc/bafkreifdzxuquywk3wizu564ronsfahqeu4ygmaxpyffwzx3ga5wtjnpqa) ---
**Author:** ![Atamasama](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atamasama/32/12961_2.png) [@Atamasama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atamasama)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2026, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trump-is-dying/1022520/2626 "2026-05-13T20:20:17Z")
The back of his hand resembles a rhinoceros scrotum. (Fun fact: a rhino has no scrotum, it’s just fun to say that.) ---
**Author:** ![DWMarch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dwmarch/32/1010_2.png) [@DWMarch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DWMarch)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2026, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trump-is-dying/1022520/2627 "2026-05-14T03:26:27Z")
I think China may have tried to help. When Trump met President Xi, the meeting was held on a set of stairs. You can see a picture in this article: > **[Trump meeting with Xi in Beijing at high-stakes summit amid US war with Iran](https://www.yahoo.com/news/articles/trump-arrives-beijing-high-stakes-120600132.html)** > > President Donald Trump is meeting with Chinese President Xi Jinping in his multi-day state visit in Beijing. For good measure, they had Trump greeted by a bunch of little girls when he got off the plane too. And they also just made a [big arms deal with Iran](https://www.yahoo.com/news/articles/china-secretly-planning-ship-arms-213143550.html?fr=sycsrp_catchall). ---
**Author:** ![enipla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/54ee81/32.png) [@enipla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enipla)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2026, 12:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trump-is-dying/1022520/2628 "2026-05-14T12:59:18Z")
> [@DWMarch](#): > > I think China may have tried to help. When Trump met President Xi, the meeting was held on a set of stairs. You can see a picture in this article: I hope they made him walk up the stairs. ---
**Author:** ![Roderick\_Femm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/roderick_femm/32/14875_2.png) [@Roderick\_Femm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roderick_Femm)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2026, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trump-is-dying/1022520/2629 "2026-05-14T15:00:42Z")
I saw a video of him walking down the stairs out of the plane. He was clearly concentrating on keeping his balance and he seemed to have a death grip on the handrail. That’s just mean, to make him do that over and over, at his age and health level. He might fall and get hurt. They need to put a stairlift on that thing. Or an elevator. I picture something like this (go to 0.55): [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/NkYw9r7sQ80/maxresdefault.jpg "Meeting Mrs. Venable - Montgomery Clift & Katharine Hepburn | Suddenly, Last Summer | Silver Scenes") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NkYw9r7sQ80) ---
**Author:** ![Atamasama](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atamasama/32/12961_2.png) [@Atamasama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atamasama)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2026, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trump-is-dying/1022520/2630 "2026-05-14T15:03:41Z")
> [@Roderick\_Femm](#): > > They need to put a stairlift on that thing. Or an elevator. I’m thinking something like a crane, like in this photo! [![](https://investigations.peta.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/cow-hoisted-by-crane.png) ](https://investigations.peta.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/cow-hoisted-by-crane.png) ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2026, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trump-is-dying/1022520/2631 "2026-05-14T15:37:28Z")
A trebuchet. Just fling him where he’s supposed to go. ---
**Author:** ![JRDelirious](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jrdelirious/32/9531_2.png) [@JRDelirious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JRDelirious)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2026, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trump-is-dying/1022520/2632 "2026-05-14T15:54:57Z")
Yeah, if you keep electing 70-plusers, “can quickly go up and down an airstair while looking elsewhere” is an unfair standard (since they mocked Biden for it, Donald can’t be seen avoiding it.) ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2026, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trump-is-dying/1022520/2633 "2026-05-14T15:55:08Z")
Longer staircases, with missing steps and sharp edges! No banisters. ---
**Author:** ![bobot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bobot/32/21622_2.png) [@bobot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bobot)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2026, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trump-is-dying/1022520/2634 "2026-05-14T15:56:57Z")
And crocodiles! ---
**Author:** ![kenobi\_65](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kenobi_65/32/13178_2.png) [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2026, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trump-is-dying/1022520/2635 "2026-05-14T16:02:11Z")
> [@Dung\_Beetle](#): > > Longer staircases, with missing steps and sharp edges! No banisters. Like that scene in Moria, in _The Fellowship of the Ring_. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Atamasama](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atamasama/32/12961_2.png) [@Atamasama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atamasama)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2026, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trump-is-dying/1022520/2636 "2026-05-14T16:06:38Z")
I’m thinking stairs that suddenly move, like Hogwarts in the _Harry Potter_ films. ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2026, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trump-is-dying/1022520/2637 "2026-05-14T16:08:51Z")
We already have the suddenly-stopping escalator of near-death. Why reinvent the wheel? ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2026, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trump-is-dying/1022520/2638 "2026-05-14T16:12:14Z")
> [@needscoffee](#): > > Why reinvent the wheel? Trump probably demands that the wheel be redesigned so it revolves around him, just like everything else. ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2026, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trump-is-dying/1022520/2639 "2026-05-14T16:18:02Z")
> [@Dung\_Beetle](#): > > Longer staircases, with missing steps and sharp edges! No banisters. Sounds like one of the Squid Games. ---
**Author:** ![Atamasama](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atamasama/32/12961_2.png) [@Atamasama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atamasama)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2026, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trump-is-dying/1022520/2640 "2026-05-14T16:23:21Z")
> [@Der\_Trihs](#): > > Trump probably demands that the wheel be redesigned so it revolves around him, just like everything else. They call that the “Axle of Evil”. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2026, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trump-is-dying/1022520/2641 "2026-05-14T16:57:12Z")
> [@Atamasama](#): > > They call that the “Axle of Evil”. No matter how much you oil it, it still makes annoying noises. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trump-is-dying/1022520.md?page=131) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trump-is-dying/1022520.md?page=133)