# Trump is dying
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trump-is-dying/1022520
**Category:** The BBQ Pit
**Tags:** trump
**Created:** [August 27, 2025, 7:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trump-is-dying/1022520 "2025-08-27T07:09:39Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 16
### Author:  [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)
#### Post date: [September 2, 2025, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trump-is-dying/1022520/301 "2025-09-02T03:58:37Z")
> [@ASL\_v2.0](#):
>
> Also, he was probably rejuvenated after being injected with the blood of a young child _a la_ Monty Burns and pizzagate.
> **[Christopher Reeve (South Park)](https://villains.fandom.com/wiki/Christopher_Reeve_(South_Park))**
>
> Christopher Reeve was a supporting antagonist in the animated TV series South Park. His first appearance was in the episode "Krazy Kripples" where he served as the main antagonist, but later appeared in episode "200". He was based on the real-life...
> In “Krazy Kripples”, Christopher Reeve comes to town to promote stem cell research. In order to ‘cure’ his quadriplegia, he is shown sucking the fluids out of fetuses from a medical bio-hazard container. With each fetus he sucks dry, Reeves becomes healthier and more dependent on them for his developing super human strength.
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### Author:  [@Atamasama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atamasama)
#### Post date: [September 2, 2025, 4:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trump-is-dying/1022520/302 "2025-09-02T04:27:30Z")
> [@Win\_Place\_Show](#):
>
> (only thing I’ve seen is from meidastouch on Facebook)
You can’t say that anymore.
> **[Trump Trails ‘Announcement’ After Days of Health Speculation](https://www.thedailybeast.com/trump-trails-announcement-after-days-of-health-speculation/)**
>
> Online commentary is rife about the mysterious media call.
> **[Trump to make surprise announcement amid health rumors; internet asks, 'Is he...](https://www.hindustantimes.com/world-news/us-news/trump-to-make-surprise-announcement-amid-health-rumors-internet-asks-is-he-resigning-101756779869138-amp.html)**
>
> Amid health rumors after a CVI diagnosis, Trump will hold a rare White House press conference Tuesday at 2 p.m., fueling speculation about his future.
> **[Trump announces mystery Oval Office statement after days of health fears](https://www.themirror.com/news/us-news/breaking-trump-announces-mystery-oval-1365352.amp)**
>
> His appearance at the White House will come after days of speculation over the condition of his health and noticeable absence from the public eye
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### Author:  [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)
#### Post date: [September 2, 2025, 4:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trump-is-dying/1022520/303 "2025-09-02T04:28:17Z")
That his chronic venous insufficiency was reported indicates to me that much, much worse things are going on, and the administration knows about it, but it’s the American equivalent, news-wise, of a bad cold. (Remember when that was used for an explanation of Yuri Andropov’s disappearance?)
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### Author:  [@DWMarch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DWMarch)
#### Post date: [September 2, 2025, 5:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trump-is-dying/1022520/304 "2025-09-02T05:04:41Z")
> [@Win\_Place\_Show](#):
>
> Unconfirmed reports (only thing I’ve seen is from meidastouch on Facebook) that the America-hating fkstick will be speaking from the Oval Office tomorrow around 2pm.
The schedule indicates that “The President” is going to speak but does not specify Trump so it could be our introduction to President Vance. But if it is Trump and he’s had a stroke, he won’t be able to hide it.
> [@OttoDaFe](#):
>
> My guess is that many, possibly most, would regard it as a palace coup against Dear Leader and descend on the Vance White House\* with torches and pitchforks.
We can hope!
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### Author:  [@Measure\_for\_Measure](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Measure_for_Measure)
#### Post date: [September 2, 2025, 6:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trump-is-dying/1022520/305 "2025-09-02T06:47:08Z")
> [@HMS\_Irruncible](#):
>
> I really don’t think the author has a firm grasp on what most people find secretly satisfying.
>
> Unless this article was so irony-steeped as to elude my comprehension,
The author finds it not-so-secretly satisfying, but it’s best to say so indirectly if you don’t want a visit from the secret service.
Apologies to the board for posting that. I have a more sensitive than average irony detector which even at times registers false positives. But having read the author for a while, I can assure you that the quoted passage is ironic. In the original piece his point was that there’s a lot of chatter about Trump’s demise, crossing the entire political spectrum, and a lot of chatter originating in the White House itself. The finger wagging was added for humor.
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### Author:  [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)
#### Post date: [September 2, 2025, 6:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trump-is-dying/1022520/306 "2025-09-02T06:51:02Z")
If not deniable self-defense (“_of course_ I don’t want the Beloved Leader to die, Agent Johnson, didn’t you notice all the finger-wagging?”).
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### Author:  [@Atamasama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atamasama)
#### Post date: [September 2, 2025, 7:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trump-is-dying/1022520/307 "2025-09-02T07:32:36Z")
It’s like this sketch:
[ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FN3q8jZ04_E)
Where SNL cast members sarcastically proclaim their loyalty to Trump (as if they were hostages).
I found it hilarious but if taken at face value I suppose you might think the cast turned MAGA.
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### Author:  [@aurora\_maire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aurora_maire)
#### Post date: [September 2, 2025, 8:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trump-is-dying/1022520/308 "2025-09-02T08:13:21Z")
> [@Atamasama's link](#):
>
> [Trump to make surprise announcement amid health rumors; internet asks, 'Is he resigning?' - Hindustan Times](https://www.hindustantimes.com/world-news/us-news/trump-to-make-surprise-announcement-amid-health-rumors-internet-asks-is-he-resigning-101756779869138-amp.html)
Every time he does this it turns out to be some new grift. Maybe it’s NFTs celebrating the 6 (or is it 8?) wars he has stopped. Trump the Peacemaker! Still pushing for that Nobel Prize.
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### Author:  [@HMS\_Irruncible](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HMS_Irruncible)
#### Post date: [September 2, 2025, 10:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trump-is-dying/1022520/309 "2025-09-02T10:24:55Z")
> [@Measure\_for\_Measure](#):
>
> The author finds it not-so-secretly satisfying, but it’s best to say so indirectly if you don’t want a visit from the secret service.
OK, that’s more of what I thought. The irony was subtle and didn’t travel well in the lifted quote.
To me there’s not much joking in the article at all, he’s writing a straightforward “what-if” piece exploring the parallels between the Stalin joke and the Trump jokes that are going around. But owing to the risk of being persecuted by the Secret Service or outright murdered by a mob, he’s got to immunize himself against claims that he’s actually rejoicing in the prospect of Trump’s death.
I’ve seen others doing the same and it ends up being a quintessential Americanization of the joke premise - we’re free enough to speculate openly on Trump’s death, but only with immunizing language “I am not wishing for his death and would take no pleasure in it”, because we’re not nearly as free as we thing, we really could be killed or jailed for being happy about the wrong thing.
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### Author:  [@Red\_Wiggler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Red_Wiggler)
#### Post date: [September 2, 2025, 11:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trump-is-dying/1022520/310 "2025-09-02T11:08:47Z")
Because of his failing health and the continuing pressure of the Epstein files, I’m worried about an incoming massive distraction event. Launching a few missiles at Venezuela could be in the cards.
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### Author:  [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)
#### Post date: [September 2, 2025, 11:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trump-is-dying/1022520/311 "2025-09-02T11:10:16Z")
Is wishing for the President’s death a crime? Asking for a friend.
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### Author:  [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)
#### Post date: [September 2, 2025, 11:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trump-is-dying/1022520/312 "2025-09-02T11:15:23Z")
I’m just leaving this song here for _ **no reason whatsoever** _.
[ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kSQ8tZ35t4U)
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### Author:  [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)
#### Post date: [September 2, 2025, 11:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trump-is-dying/1022520/313 "2025-09-02T11:21:26Z")
> [@OttoDaFe](#):
>
> But I have to wonder how the MAGAsses would react to a “25th Amendment solution.” My guess is that many, possibly most, would regard it as a palace coup against Dear Leader and descend on the Vance White House\* with torches and pitchforks. Film at 11.
Not that I want a president Vance, but at least with respect to the R’s being able to oust Trump, this feels like yet another opportunity they have to do it, but none of will be willing to even so much as suggest, other than behind closed doors, unless they know they can get enough support to make it happen. It’s a “How do you shoot the devil in the back? What if you miss?” situation.
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### Author:  [@not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/not_what_you_d_expect)
#### Post date: [September 2, 2025, 11:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trump-is-dying/1022520/314 "2025-09-02T11:45:05Z")
I’m sure he will announce that he has indeed been dead for the last 5 days (had to outdo J.C.), but he is risen and now we will all worship him, or else.
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### Author:  [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)
#### Post date: [September 2, 2025, 11:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trump-is-dying/1022520/315 "2025-09-02T11:49:30Z")
Trump will award himself a Peace Prize, a solid gold medal on a blue ribbon, donated by some oligarch or another. He will bloviate about how much better the Trump Peace Prize is, and how terrible all other Peace Prizes are. There will be men with tears in their eyes, and a bewildered child with a terrified look on their face (oh, wait, that’s just Marco Rubio). MAGA Barbie Karoline Leavitt will sit nervously to the side, compulsively straightening her short skirt, and looking in vain for any recognition from her fantasy beau. Stephen Miller will skulk around the edges of Oval Office, being careful to avoid any sunlight from windows. Some Congressturd will grin and give a thumbs-up gesture, which will be seen by another lackey who follows suit. Soon, everyone is grinning and thumbs-upping, and Trump staggers to an armoir and tries to exit the room, but the door is stuck. Someone cues up “YMCA”, and everyone starts dancing like Elaine Benes, withe the kicks and the thumbs.
End scene.
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### Author:  [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)
#### Post date: [September 2, 2025, 12:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trump-is-dying/1022520/316 "2025-09-02T12:24:11Z")
Well gee, if we’re making this a song anthology, here’s [Seven year old Sammy Davis Jr.](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=kUQ_uAvIOVw)
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### Author:  [@Win\_Place\_Show](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Win_Place_Show)
#### Post date: [September 2, 2025, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trump-is-dying/1022520/317 "2025-09-02T15:11:33Z")
Oh good lord - now sources are saying his “announcement” is going to be the location of the Space Command center.
I hope there’s signs that this announcement was prerecorded weeks ago before he started circling the drain.
> **[Trump to announce Space Command headquarters location, sources say](https://www.cbsnews.com/live-updates/trump-announce-space-command-headquarters-location/)**
>
> President Trump is set to deliver an announcement from the Oval Office later Tuesday.
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### Author:  [@JRDelirious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JRDelirious)
#### Post date: [September 2, 2025, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trump-is-dying/1022520/318 "2025-09-02T15:54:47Z")
We’ll know based on what his off-topic meanderings are about.
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### Author:  [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)
#### Post date: [September 2, 2025, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trump-is-dying/1022520/319 "2025-09-02T16:11:13Z")
> [@Win\_Place\_Show](#):
>
> Oh good lord - now sources are saying his “announcement” is going to be the location of the Space Command center.
“Mr. President, how far away is this new command center from the Jeffrey Epstein files?”
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### Author:  [@Euphonious\_Polemic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Euphonious_Polemic)
#### Post date: [September 2, 2025, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trump-is-dying/1022520/320 "2025-09-02T16:26:00Z")
I hope they wheel him out strapped to a furniture dolly, like Hannibal Lecter (The late, great Hannibal Lecter. He’s a wonderful man.")
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