# Trump is dying **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Tags:** trump\ **Created:** [August 27, 2025, 7:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trump-is-dying/1022520 "2025-08-27T07:09:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 182
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2026, 4:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trump-is-dying/1022520/3625 "2026-08-27T04:48:00Z")
> [@LSLGuy](#): > > I’m sure it’ll be the best autopsy report ever. Nobody will ever have seen an autopsy report like it! ---
**Author:** ![Sylvanz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/fbc32d/32.png) [@Sylvanz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sylvanz)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2026, 4:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trump-is-dying/1022520/3626 "2026-08-27T04:52:55Z")
I’d like one of those exoskeleton things. ---
**Author:** ![Jihi](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jihi/32/17768_2.png) [@Jihi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jihi)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2026, 5:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trump-is-dying/1022520/3627 "2026-08-27T05:05:18Z")
> [@Spoons](#): > > > [@LSLGuy](#): > > > > I’m sure it’ll be the best autopsy report ever. > > Nobody will ever have seen an autopsy report like it! Well damn! I think we just found something I can agree with Trump on. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![OttoDaFe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ottodafe/32/356_2.png) [@OttoDaFe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OttoDaFe)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2026, 7:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trump-is-dying/1022520/3628 "2026-08-27T07:29:40Z")
Strong men will go up to the slab with tears in their eyes (whether from his normal stench or formaldehyde) and say, “Sir, I’ve never seen a healthier corpse than you!” ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2026, 10:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trump-is-dying/1022520/3629 "2026-08-27T10:29:03Z")
> [@DavidNRockies](#): > > Uh. Dick Cheney would like to have a word with you. I thought the same thing and almost made the same post last night. Great minds … But it appears Cheney’s mechanical heart was working fine when the rest of him died. So not _quite_ the example we’d hoped for. ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2026, 11:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trump-is-dying/1022520/3630 "2026-08-27T11:56:19Z")
Regarding the exoskeleton, I dunno. The guy in the clip says Trump’s ego would like this because it would make him appear stronger. I disagree, I believe his massive ego wouldn’t let him wear it. He doesn’t need something that makes him ‘appear stronger than he actually is’, because his massive ego already believes he’s stronger than he actually is. My vote is on it being a diaper and/or some kind of ostomy bag (but aren’t those typically taped to your leg?). ---
**Author:** ![abcdefghij](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/43a26b/32.png) [@abcdefghij](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/abcdefghij)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2026, 12:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trump-is-dying/1022520/3631 "2026-08-27T12:08:16Z")
> [@LSLGuy](#): > > But it appears Cheney’s mechanical heart was working fine when the rest of him died. The heart rejected him ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2026, 12:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trump-is-dying/1022520/3632 "2026-08-27T12:11:13Z")
Who wouldn’t? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2026, 1:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trump-is-dying/1022520/3633 "2026-08-27T13:07:41Z")
> [@Joey\_P](#): > > He doesn’t need something that makes him ‘appear stronger than he actually is’, because his massive ego already believes he’s stronger than he actually is. I think you’re right. It would be like wearing lifts in his shoes to make him appear taller than he actually is. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2026, 1:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trump-is-dying/1022520/3634 "2026-08-27T13:17:17Z")
I see you shiver with antici …pation. (Tim Curry tribute) Even with an autopsy pinpointing cardiovascular issues, Trumpites will be loath to accept any natural causes for his death. Conspiracy theories will be rampant, not counting the conviction that COVID vaccination must have been responsible. ---
**Author:** ![Odesio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/odesio/32/20003_2.png) [@Odesio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odesio)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2026, 1:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trump-is-dying/1022520/3635 "2026-08-27T13:17:39Z")
> [@Joey\_P](#): > > Regarding the exoskeleton, I dunno. The guy in the clip says Trump’s ego would like this because it would make him appear stronger. I disagree, I believe his massive ego wouldn’t let him wear it. Trump is a deeply insecure man. He does his best to project the image of a strong. Indefatigable God among men, but he does so because he’s afraid others will see him for the weak man he is. We’re talking about a man who makes ridiculous claims about his weight, cheats at golf, appears to wear lifts, etc., etc. He would absolutely use anything at his disposal to project an image of strength. ---
**Author:** ![Jihi](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jihi/32/17768_2.png) [@Jihi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jihi)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2026, 1:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trump-is-dying/1022520/3636 "2026-08-27T13:44:48Z")
He also slathers on orange paint because he thinks it makes him look younger than he is and he’s been caught more than once wearing some variety of hairpiece. He’s all about optics and he thinks these things make him clever even though anyone with two brain cells to rub together can see through the delusions. That doesn’t confirm he’s wearing an exoskeleton of course, but he’ll definitely cheat his appearance and assume no one can tell the difference. ---
**Author:** ![DWMarch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dwmarch/32/1010_2.png) [@DWMarch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DWMarch)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2026, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trump-is-dying/1022520/3637 "2026-08-27T16:20:14Z")
> [@Jihi](#): > > He also slathers on orange paint because he thinks it makes him look younger than he is and he’s been caught more than once wearing some variety of hairpiece. He is certainly all about that gender-affirming care when it comes to _himself_. ---
**Author:** ![Mollie\_Magill](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mollie_magill/32/20882_2.png) [@Mollie\_Magill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mollie_Magill)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2026, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trump-is-dying/1022520/3638 "2026-08-27T16:29:28Z")
So gender-affirming care is like mail in voting? It’s okay when a Republican does it. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2026, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trump-is-dying/1022520/3639 "2026-08-27T16:50:31Z")
> [@Jackmannii](#): > > Even with an autopsy pinpointing cardiovascular issues, Trumpites will be loath to accept any natural causes for his death. Conspiracy theories will be rampant, not counting the conviction that COVID vaccination must have been responsible. When he snuck off Air Force One and flew on a different plane, I wondered what would have happened if AF1 had been shot down. Imagine if that had happened, everyone assumes Trump is dead, then someone shows up and says “Hi, I’m alive; I snuck off the plane on a catering truck.” The conspiracy theorists would have gone berserk. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2026, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trump-is-dying/1022520/3640 "2026-08-27T17:51:02Z")
Trump _needs_ makeup and an exoskeleton to hide that he’s actually a lizard. [![](https://media.craiyon.com/2025-10-09/VG5R4bNEQameiuygzGkczg.webp) ](https://media.craiyon.com/2025-10-09/VG5R4bNEQameiuygzGkczg.webp) ---
**Author:** ![BlankSlate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blankslate/32/80_2.png) [@BlankSlate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlankSlate)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2026, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trump-is-dying/1022520/3641 "2026-08-27T17:51:52Z")
> [@Robot\_Arm](#): > > The conspiracy theorists would have gone berserk. I would have gone berserk. It would be like cancelling Christmas. ---
**Author:** ![DavidNRockies](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/davidnrockies/32/6279_2.png) [@DavidNRockies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DavidNRockies)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2026, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trump-is-dying/1022520/3642 "2026-08-27T17:58:34Z")
something, something … Worst Possible Answer to the Trolley Problem, blah, blah, blah. ---
**Author:** ![Ancient\_Nerd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed655f/32.png) [@Ancient\_Nerd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ancient_Nerd)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2026, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trump-is-dying/1022520/3643 "2026-08-27T19:44:03Z")
> [@BlankSlate](#): > > I would have gone berserk. It would be like cancelling Christmas. All sales would be final on the flagpole extenders needed to fly flags above full staff. ---
**Author:** ![Lucas\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lucas_jackson/32/303_2.png) [@Lucas\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucas_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2026, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trump-is-dying/1022520/3644 "2026-08-27T22:18:18Z")
I dislike this thread title. I forget about it, and every time I see it my heart does a little pitter-pat until I realize this thread is a year old and he’s not really dying. sigh… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trump-is-dying/1022520.md?page=181) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trump-is-dying/1022520.md?page=183)