# Trump is dying **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Tags:** trump\ **Created:** [August 27, 2025, 7:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trump-is-dying/1022520 "2025-08-27T07:09:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 36
**Author:** ![Ancient\_Nerd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed655f/32.png) [@Ancient\_Nerd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ancient_Nerd)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2025, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trump-is-dying/1022520/702 "2025-10-17T19:24:32Z")
> [@DesertDog](#): > > I’m hoping for something like [Mozart’s funeral](https://youtu.be/TUt4DfGnyJQ) as depicted in _Amadeus_. I was thinking along the lines of The Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come in Charles Dickens A Christmas Carol. ---
**Author:** ![Mundane\_Super\_Hero](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mundane_super_hero/32/6304_2.png) [@Mundane\_Super\_Hero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mundane_Super_Hero)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2025, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trump-is-dying/1022520/703 "2025-10-17T19:41:26Z")
> [@Johnny\_L.A](#): > > I think he should be buried alongside [Ivana Trump](https://www.yahoo.com/news/fact-check-real-2023-photos-213300066.html). I think he should be buried alongside Ivanka Trump. ( Have you ever seen that Ted Danson scene in that movie, “Creep Show” ? ) ---
**Author:** ![JKellyMap](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jkellymap/32/15880_2.png) [@JKellyMap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JKellyMap)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2025, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trump-is-dying/1022520/704 "2025-10-17T21:01:40Z")
Bravo. ---
**Author:** ![OttoDaFe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ottodafe/32/356_2.png) [@OttoDaFe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OttoDaFe)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2025, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trump-is-dying/1022520/705 "2025-10-17T21:43:32Z")
I don’t want the Orange Peril to die. Not immediately. I want him to collapse suddenly into a drooling, incoherent, pissing, shitting\* pile of protoplasm in front of a crowd. Preferably on live television. Which would finally reveal his true nature, and may cause as many as 10% of the MAGAsses to reflect on the choice they made (though I wouldn’t bet any substantial portion of my life savings on that happening). \* More than he usually is or does ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2025, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trump-is-dying/1022520/706 "2025-10-17T22:07:01Z")
> [@OttoDaFe](#): > > I want him to collapse suddenly into a drooling, incoherent, pissing, shitting\* pile of protoplasm in front of a crowd. Or _not_ incoherent (or no more than usual). I want him to be fully aware of and humiliated by his decomposition as it occurs. ---
**Author:** ![Atamasama](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atamasama/32/12961_2.png) [@Atamasama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atamasama)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2025, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trump-is-dying/1022520/707 "2025-10-17T22:08:36Z")
My phone again fucked things up. Discourse does not work well in iOS 26. That wasn’t meant for this thread. ---
**Author:** ![dougrb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/76d3ee/32.png) [@dougrb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dougrb)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2025, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trump-is-dying/1022520/708 "2025-10-17T22:12:49Z")
> [@needscoffee](#): > > I want him to be fully aware of and humiliated Exactly… keep him alive and conscience with tubes in every orifice. ---
**Author:** ![Sherrerd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sherrerd/32/8_2.png) [@Sherrerd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sherrerd)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2025, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trump-is-dying/1022520/709 "2025-10-17T22:16:21Z")
> [@OttoDaFe](#): > > I don’t want the Orange Peril to die. Not immediately. > > I want him to collapse suddenly into a drooling, incoherent, pissing, shitting\* pile of protoplasm in front of a crowd. Preferably on live television. Which would finally reveal his true nature, and may cause as many as 10% of the MAGAsses to reflect on the choice they made … One percent, at best. The others will follow the lead of RNC attendees who wore sanitary pads on their ears, post-“shooting.” If Donald starts drooling in public, look for his online store to start selling Patriot Drool Bags, to be worn by those who are _real_ devotees! As for this thread: I cherish the hope that what the mod responding to the news will add to the thread title, is > _ **Satan Has Called Him Home** _ Moving on: > [@ThelmaLou](#): > > “Justice” is an idea invented by human beings based on wishful thinking, certainly not on reality. _Justice_ has nothing to do with the way the world/universe/cosmos/reality operate. Just look at Nature. I know we decided to end this digression, but I just wanted to say: this is really well-worded (and I agree with it). I know I’ve referenced Karma (with various wordings) over the years, but in fact I don’t think it happens outside of the mind of the relevant person. In other words, if someone who’s done cruel and destructive things starts to suffer from guilt, that would be a kind of karma. But for the shameless and guilt-immune, there isn’t any guaranteed “justice.” What we decide to take to be “justice” can happen to such people via natural events or human actions, but there’s no guarantee of that, and if it does happen, we’re just choosing to interpret it as “justice.” The only “justice” we can be sure of with regard to Donald is the knowledge that he’s a black hole of miserable insecurity. He occasionally is cheered when performing malicious acts, but otherwise he’s not a happy person. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2025, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trump-is-dying/1022520/710 "2025-10-17T22:32:42Z")
> [@Sherrerd](#): > > As for this thread: I cherish the hope that what the mod responding to the news will add to the thread title, is > > > _ **Satan Has Called Him Home** _ I’m just waiting to say: _De mortuis, bonum tantum dic._ _Trump mortuus est_ _Bonum_ Of the dead, say only good. Trump is dead. Good. ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2025, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trump-is-dying/1022520/711 "2025-10-17T23:38:31Z")
I think there is a 60% chance when he dies it will be while he’s on the toilet. ---
**Author:** ![Velocity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/velocity/32/18006_2.png) [@Velocity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velocity)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2025, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trump-is-dying/1022520/712 "2025-10-17T23:43:16Z")
Unfortunately, for some people with a victim mentality, they are actually **happy about not being happy.** They get off on being the “persecuted hero who doesn’t get the credit he deserves and is fighting against injustice.” Trump may get considerable dopamine from that image of himself, especially when he has many millions of MAGA and a lot of right-wing media all too quick to encourage that martyr notion. So he may actually be having fun in his misery. ---
**Author:** ![Atamasama](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atamasama/32/12961_2.png) [@Atamasama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atamasama)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2025, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trump-is-dying/1022520/713 "2025-10-17T23:58:50Z")
> [@Velocity](#): > > Unfortunately, for some people with a victim mentality, they are actually **happy about not being happy.** They get off on being the “persecuted hero who doesn’t get the credit he deserves and is fighting against injustice.” I have known multiple people exactly like that in real life. What miserable people these assholes are. ---
**Author:** ![penultima\_thule](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/penultima_thule/32/3833_2.png) [@penultima\_thule](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/penultima_thule)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2025, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trump-is-dying/1022520/714 "2025-10-17T23:59:07Z")
> [@dougrb](#): > > Exactly… keep him alive and conscience with tubes in every orifice. The bigglyest tubes eva inserted into any POTUS of course. And as a nitpick it’s conscious, the man doesn’t have a conscience. ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2025, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trump-is-dying/1022520/715 "2025-10-18T01:48:28Z")
> [@scudsucker](#): > > Except, rather than the beautiful music in that clip (Requiem Mass in D Minor)… they will play something more appropriate like Yakity Sax. Yes, he wouldn’t deserve anything so hauntingly lovely. Although maybe Verdi’s “Dies Irae” as he’s dumped into the hole? ---
**Author:** ![scudsucker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scudsucker/32/14101_2.png) [@scudsucker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scudsucker)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2025, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trump-is-dying/1022520/716 "2025-10-18T02:41:13Z")
> [@GuanoLad](#): > > I think there is a 60% chance when he dies it will be while he’s on the toilet Please no. That man has nothing on Elvis. Dying on the crapper to too big an honour for Trump. ---
**Author:** ![enipla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/54ee81/32.png) [@enipla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enipla)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2025, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trump-is-dying/1022520/717 "2025-10-18T03:36:58Z")
Be sure to not give him and ‘Auto-Pen’. We would be fucked worse than we already are. ---
**Author:** ![kenobi\_65](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kenobi_65/32/13178_2.png) [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2025, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trump-is-dying/1022520/718 "2025-10-18T03:54:00Z")
> [@needscoffee](#): > > I want him to be fully aware of and humiliated by his decomposition as it occurs. To quote Westley in _The Princess Bride_: > [@](#): > > - [Prince Humperdinck](https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001697/?ref_=ttqu_qu): To the death! > - [Westley](https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000144/?ref_=ttqu_qu): No! To the pain. > - [Prince Humperdinck](https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001697/?ref_=ttqu_qu): I don’t think I’m quite familiar with that phrase. > - [Westley](https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000144/?ref_=ttqu_qu): I’ll explain, and I’ll use small words so that you’ll be sure to understand, you warthog-faced buffoon. > - [Prince Humperdinck](https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001697/?ref_=ttqu_qu): That may be the first time in my life a man has dared insult me. > - [Westley](https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000144/?ref_=ttqu_qu): It won’t be the last. “To the pain” means the first thing you will lose will be your feet below the ankles. Then, your hands at the wrists. Next, your nose. > - [Prince Humperdinck](https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001697/?ref_=ttqu_qu): And then my tongue, I suppose. I killed you too quickly the last time; a mistake I don’t mean to duplicate tonight. > - [Westley](https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000144/?ref_=ttqu_qu): I wasn’t finished! The next thing you will lose will be your left eye, followed by your right. > - [Prince Humperdinck](https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001697/?ref_=ttqu_qu): And then my ears, I understand. Let’s get on with it. > - [Westley](https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000144/?ref_=ttqu_qu): WRONG! Your ears you keep, and I’ll tell you why. So that every shriek of every child at seeing your hideousness will be yours to cherish. Every babe that weeps at your approach, every woman who cries out, “Dear God, what is that thing?” will echo in your perfect ears. That is what “to the pain” means: it means I leave you in anguish, wallowing in freakish misery forever. ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2025, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trump-is-dying/1022520/719 "2025-10-18T04:02:31Z")
I know that when the great man’s time comes as it must, my friends and family will come together in reverent memoriam to console one another in apprehension of the sunless days ahead. And what more appropriate for the occasion than [cheap, disposable plastic GOLD picnicware!](https://www.amazon.com/Morejoy-175PCS-Solid-Plastic-Plates/dp/B097JWHLSZ/ref=mp_s_a_1_6_sspa?crid=2Y5T0R04NGN96&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.NXLfSxRxu5pItGd5D_rLxt6Us6ox5oDe7gIHXHyd2iqhOSrv5dBiMm5UubrViR5fxiR0aqR7H9pnv9eAyg8QFDl2i5MbC4bwZ2Kw1NsTRJiLaDFdfxtTNADUPQKBl8NxN905GnuJjcjjwb88LrkutZDN0bI9aHxfj2jAHWT-EK7V0dIv3KmX50wGueWfjO76hSrcXNf1CDLU7OhoXv01fw.2Yj1fB_-eq_3vBQ7UZ-DePOHDZ3QXh8oD0DuJ3G6SoE&dib_tag=se&keywords=disposable+gold+plates+and+cutlery&qid=1760759577&refinements=p_36%253A-5000&rnid=386465011&sprefix=disposable+gold+plates%252Caps%252C203&sr=8-6-spons&sp_csd=d2lkZ2V0TmFtZT1zcF9waG9uZV9zZWFyY2hfbXRm&psc=1) “175PCS Solid Gold Plastic Plates with Gold Rim, gold disposable dinnerware sets Include 25 Dinner Plates, 25 Dessert Plates, 25 Cutlery Sets, 25 Napkins Perfect for Party & **Thanksgiving** ” ETA: in 2016, Donald Trump identified Peggy Lee’s _“Is That all there Is”_ as his favorite song. I refuse to allow that creep to spoil this Kurt Weil-inspired Jerry Leiber and Mike Stoller composition. ---
**Author:** ![Mundane\_Super\_Hero](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mundane_super_hero/32/6304_2.png) [@Mundane\_Super\_Hero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mundane_Super_Hero)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2025, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trump-is-dying/1022520/720 "2025-10-18T14:24:27Z")
Evidently the journalists agree with us: > **[Republican Warns Trump is Becoming a ‘Weekend at Bernie’s’ President](https://www.thedailybeast.com/republican-adam-kinzinger-warns-donald-trump-is-becoming-a-weekend-at-bernies-president/)** > > “I think we have an insane president,” Adam Kinzinger said. ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2025, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trump-is-dying/1022520/721 "2025-10-18T19:10:25Z")
His dirge should [be](https://youtu.be/in58wtVI9sI?si=PiEHI9TFDrVjJ_Vf)       … _I own my own pet virus_        _I get to pet and name her_        _Her milk is my shit_        _My shit is her milk_   (with _no_ apologies to Kurt) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trump-is-dying/1022520.md?page=35) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trump-is-dying/1022520.md?page=37)