# Trump is dying
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trump-is-dying/1022520
**Category:** The BBQ Pit
**Tags:** trump
**Created:** [August 27, 2025, 7:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trump-is-dying/1022520 "2025-08-27T07:09:39Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 6
### Author:  [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)
#### Post date: [August 27, 2025, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trump-is-dying/1022520/101 "2025-08-27T22:34:06Z")
All this joking about resurrecting on the third day, but I really wouldn’t put it past this jackass to fake his own death just to “rise again like the most FAMOUS man in History! Thank you for your attention to this matter!!”
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### Author:  [@Mundane\_Super\_Hero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mundane_Super_Hero)
#### Post date: [August 27, 2025, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trump-is-dying/1022520/102 "2025-08-27T22:53:55Z")
“All this talk of Donald rising is most… how do you say? Silly.
Believe me I have been trying for years… and that rigatoni is boiled and _limp_.”
- Melania Trump
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### Author:  [@WolfpackJeep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WolfpackJeep)
#### Post date: [August 28, 2025, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trump-is-dying/1022520/103 "2025-08-28T00:06:10Z")
> [@DWMarch](#):
>
> Why the concern about the afterlife if he’s not keenly aware that he’s going there soon?
Maybe he wants to check out those streets paved with gold. Of course that will have nothing on his office. His office uses the best gold. It’s gold leaf. Real gold leaf. It’s not paint. They’ve never found a paint that looks like gold. Going to gold leaf the corners. You can see it on the molding.
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### Author:  [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)
#### Post date: [August 28, 2025, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trump-is-dying/1022520/104 "2025-08-28T01:49:30Z")
> [@Fear\_Itself](#):
>
> I’m rooting for a debilitating stroke. Unable to stand or walk. Unable to speak coherently, beyond unintelligible groans.
And for it to happen in a public event, with multiple witnesses around, live on TV, just to cut down somewhat on all the conspiracy theories that will sprout at his death.
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### Author:  [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)
#### Post date: [August 28, 2025, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trump-is-dying/1022520/105 "2025-08-28T02:13:30Z")
> [@Mundane\_Super\_Hero](#):
>
> The legal matters will sort after he’s gone; they always do. Suddenly all the defenses of Rump will crumble, there will be a whole lot of people saying, “He made me do it…!” like the little kid in JAWs. There will be others sporting the “I was just following orders”.line too.
Expect a ton of interviews and tell-all books from Trump sycophants in his administration and Congress, explaining that they knew how bad he was all the time but kept silent trying to mitigate the damage and/or because things would’ve been worse under woke Democrats.
History will not be kind to these groveling sleazebags. And not just you, Sen. Cassidy of Louisiana.
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### Author:  [@DWMarch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DWMarch)
#### Post date: [August 28, 2025, 3:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trump-is-dying/1022520/106 "2025-08-28T03:06:11Z")
Trump is fundraising so he can get to Heaven. It’s been a while since I have been to church but I’m not sure anyone has explained to him how it is supposed to work.
[https://meidasnews.com/news/trump-fundraising-email-i-want-to-try-to-get-to-heaven](https://meidasnews.com/news/trump-fundraising-email-i-want-to-try-to-get-to-heaven)
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### Author:  [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)
#### Post date: [August 28, 2025, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trump-is-dying/1022520/107 "2025-08-28T03:13:08Z")
> [@DWMarch](#):
>
> It’s been a while since I have been to church but I’m not sure anyone has explained to him how it is supposed to work.
[Indulgences](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Indulgence), which had a less-than-stellar track record during the Middle Ages.
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### Author:  [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)
#### Post date: [August 28, 2025, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trump-is-dying/1022520/108 "2025-08-28T03:31:17Z")
In a few months a heavy schedule of rallies to get MAGAs elected in the midterms: very demanding on a declining old man. Can we hope to see him self-destruct onstage? Or will they have him half-animatronic like Führer John Gill?
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### Author:  [@Measure\_for\_Measure](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Measure_for_Measure)
#### Post date: [August 28, 2025, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trump-is-dying/1022520/109 "2025-08-28T04:06:17Z")
> [@Der\_Trihs](#):
>
> It doesn’t matter what we _want,_ there’s zero chance he’ll face justice of any sort.
Hard agree with the first phrase, mostly agree with the 2nd.
A 79 year old male has [a life expectancy of 8.6 more years](https://www.ssa.gov/oact/STATS/table4c6.html). CVI can have potential complications, but I would imagine that Trump would be monitored to prevent ulcers from becoming acute. IANAD, but ISTM that Trump’s probability of surviving 3.5 years to Jan 2029 is comfortably over 50%. Not 99%.
Trump’s father died at 93, though he was diagnosed with dementia at 86. In Jan 2025 [this political website](https://thepoliticalinsider.com/what-are-the-odds-trump-will-survive/) pegged Trump’s actuarial chances of surviving the full term at 75% (based simply on age and gender). Maybe it’s lower than that, but in the plus column, Trump is a teatotaler who never smoked and has access to great medical care.
I perceive a high risk of morbidity and a somewhat restrained risk of mortality. I mean 15-30% is high given the consequences.
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### Author:  [@nelliebly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nelliebly)
#### Post date: [August 28, 2025, 4:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trump-is-dying/1022520/110 "2025-08-28T04:30:42Z")
> [@Measure\_for\_Measure](#):
>
> Trump’s father died at 93, though he was diagnosed with dementia at 86
True, and his mother died at age 88. However, neither was obese, and both had long-term health issues.
> [@Jackmannii](#):
>
> Expect a ton of interviews and tell-all books from Trump sycophants in his administration and Congress, explaining that they knew how bad he was all the time
Now see, I’ve predicted the opposite: they’ll be painting him as a greatest president, nay, the greatest _person_ in history. They’ll propose renaming Washington, DC after him. His name will be on schools throughout the red states. (_Ladies and gentleman, join me in welcoming the starting lineup of YOUR Donald J. Trump Patriots!_) They’ll try to re-christen Route 66. And they’ll push for a monument to him on the Mall–in gold, of course.
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### Author:  [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Asking_Questions)
#### Post date: [August 28, 2025, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trump-is-dying/1022520/111 "2025-08-28T04:33:27Z")
> [@DWMarch](#):
>
> Trump is fundraising so he can get to Heaven.
What does God need with money?
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### Author:  [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)
#### Post date: [August 28, 2025, 4:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trump-is-dying/1022520/112 "2025-08-28T04:38:13Z")
Wasn’t there a TV preacher years ago who said he needed a sum of money (maybe $1M) by a certain date, or God would “call him home”? As I recall, his followers poured in the cash to keep him alive.
I wouldn’t put it past Trump to take the same approach.
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### Author:  [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)
#### Post date: [August 28, 2025, 4:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trump-is-dying/1022520/113 "2025-08-28T04:40:26Z")
> [@Spoons](#):
>
> Wasn’t there a TV preacher years ago who said he needed a sum of money (maybe $1M) by a certain date, or God would “call him home”? As I recall, his followers poured in the cash to keep him alive.
Oral Roberts. He was seeking $8 million for donations to the university which he had founded; he received over $9 million.
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### Author:  [@crowmanyclouds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/crowmanyclouds)
#### Post date: [August 28, 2025, 4:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trump-is-dying/1022520/114 "2025-08-28T04:40:31Z")
> **[God Spared Him Because Flock Raised $8 Million, Roberts Says](https://www.latimes.com/archives/la-xpm-1987-04-02-mn-1975-story.html)**
>
> Evangelist Oral Roberts told his flock Wednesday that God spared him because his followers contributed more than $8 million, but he also said that he will need that amount every year until "until Jesus returns."
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### Author:  [@DWMarch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DWMarch)
#### Post date: [August 28, 2025, 4:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trump-is-dying/1022520/115 "2025-08-28T04:59:07Z")
> [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](#):
>
> What does God need with money?
He’s saving up for a starship.
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### Author:  [@Dag\_Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dag_Otto)
#### Post date: [August 28, 2025, 5:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trump-is-dying/1022520/116 "2025-08-28T05:09:27Z")
> [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](#):
>
> What does God need with money?
He’ll need it to redecorate Heaven to suit the asshole:
“Heaven. Sort of run down. God really hasn’t kept the place up very well. But once I renovate, it’ll be fantastic. And I promise, I won’t raise the rent on God very much. It will go up a bit, but it will be very fair. But the angels, well, of course they have to pay. For too long they have been getting a free ride.”
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### Author:  [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)
#### Post date: [August 28, 2025, 6:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trump-is-dying/1022520/117 "2025-08-28T06:00:27Z")
> [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](#):
>
> anybody who even looks **askance** at Putin will find themselves suddenly falling out of a window,
Hey! I represent that! I didn’t do it, nobody saw me, you can’t prove a thing!
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### Author:  [@penultima\_thule](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/penultima_thule)
#### Post date: [August 28, 2025, 6:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trump-is-dying/1022520/118 "2025-08-28T06:37:11Z")
> [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](#):
>
> What does God need with money?
> [@Dag\_Otto](#):
>
> He’ll need it to redecorate Heaven to suit the asshole:
Methinks he’ll need a golden staircase for 45/47 to descend from the tower to where he needs to go .., and a bucketload of cash to pay Charon.
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### Author:  [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)
#### Post date: [August 28, 2025, 6:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trump-is-dying/1022520/119 "2025-08-28T06:43:16Z")
> [@penultima\_thule](#):
>
> and a bucketload of cash to pay Charon.
Who probably won’t take commemorative Trump coins.
[ ](https://m.media-amazon.com/images/I/71959WWsb1L._UF894,1000_QL80_.jpg)
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### Author:  [@pjd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pjd)
#### Post date: [August 28, 2025, 9:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trump-is-dying/1022520/120 "2025-08-28T09:33:08Z")
I like @crane’s idea of the gold gilded catapult.
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