# Try to remember...(the month of September?) (Sept. minirants) **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [September 1, 2012, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/try-to-remember-the-month-of-september-sept-minirants/633394 "2012-09-01T22:26:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 14
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2012, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/try-to-remember-the-month-of-september-sept-minirants/633394/261 "2012-09-19T21:41:47Z")
Oh, yeah, and I went out this morning to discover that one of my tires is completely flat. Luckily, I can just borrow my husband’s car (he [ain’t usin’ it](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=661847)right now anyway … ) but GODDAMMITFUCKINGSHIT! Also, the spot on my shirt appears to be a grease stain, and not a little drop of water like I’d originally hoped. OK, I think I’m done now. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2012, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/try-to-remember-the-month-of-september-sept-minirants/633394/262 "2012-09-19T22:35:52Z")
> [@purplehorseshoe](#): > > \ > Also, the spot on my shirt appears to be a grease stain, and not a little drop of water like I’d originally hoped.\ I can help you with that, at least - put a drop of dishwashing detergent on the grease spot, rub it in really well, then wash the shirt in warm water. The detergent should take out the grease. Is anyone else seeing a trend towards people driving really fast in parking lots? This kind of blows my mind - I can’t think of anywhere else that people drive where you need to drive _more_ carefully than a parking lot, and here all these idiots are, just blasting away through all the pedestrians and kids and people with shopping carts and people backing up… ---
**Author:** ![Projammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/projammer/32/559_2.png) [@Projammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Projammer)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2012, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/try-to-remember-the-month-of-september-sept-minirants/633394/263 "2012-09-20T03:02:54Z")
Why do furry animals seem to think my car is the ideal method of suicide? Possums? Fuck em. Line em up and I’ll go for the record. Squirrels? Technically rodents and there’s about 10 thousand of em in my neighborhood. But a puppy? Just fuck me running. ---
**Author:** ![Seanette](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/seanette/32/9139_2.png) [@Seanette](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seanette)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2012, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/try-to-remember-the-month-of-september-sept-minirants/633394/264 "2012-09-20T03:25:33Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > Is anyone else seeing a trend towards people driving really fast in parking lots? This kind of blows my mind - I can’t think of anywhere else that people drive where you need to drive _more_ carefully than a parking lot, and here all these idiots are, just blasting away through all the pedestrians and kids and people with shopping carts and people backing up… See it, hate it. Self-centered jerks gotta get there 2 seconds sooner, anyone else daring to be in THEIR parking lot is just in the way. ---
**Author:** ![flatlined](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb9ed0/32.png) [@flatlined](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flatlined)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2012, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/try-to-remember-the-month-of-september-sept-minirants/633394/265 "2012-09-20T03:38:37Z")
> [@digs](#): > > Holy crap, is that what cats do? My dogs ignore almost everything, including the toilet paper (even when I try to get them to get toilet trained and use a roll…). This is the reason that my toilet paper is hung with the end by the wall…when the cats start clawing it, it pretty much stays on the roll. [Thumbnails of cats with toilet paper here.](http://www.google.com/search?q=cats+toilet+paper&hl=en&prmd=imvns&tbm=isch&tbo=u&source=univ&sa=X&ei=po5aUO_0GuiMyAGStoGIDQ&ved=0CCMQsAQ&biw=1024&bih=681) > [@Projammer](#): > > Why do furry animals seem to think my car is the ideal method of suicide? > > Possums? Fuck em. Line em up and I’ll go for the record. > > Squirrels? Technically rodents and there’s about 10 thousand of em in my neighborhood. > > But a puppy? Just fuck me running. **(((Projammer)))** That just sucks. ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2012, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/try-to-remember-the-month-of-september-sept-minirants/633394/266 "2012-09-20T04:06:01Z")
I can’t breaf! I have a cold, which isn’t that bad as far as colds go, except- my nose! Snerf! And I have no decongestants or antihistamines in the house- wah! Also, I have a severe case of the sneezles. Feel sorry for me! Nobody in my house does! ---
**Author:** ![StarvingButStrong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/starvingbutstrong/32/335_2.png) [@StarvingButStrong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StarvingButStrong)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2012, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/try-to-remember-the-month-of-september-sept-minirants/633394/267 "2012-09-20T04:34:57Z")
> [@Alice\_The\_Goon](#): > > I can’t breaf! I have a cold, which isn’t that bad as far as colds go, except- my nose! Snerf! And I have no decongestants or antihistamines in the house- wah! > > Also, I have a severe case of the sneezles. Feel sorry for me! Nobody in my house does! Aw, poor Alice. Have you tried breathing some steam? Or a long hot shower? If all else fails, ice cream/chocolate/booze can make you feel better about being miserable. ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2012, 4:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/try-to-remember-the-month-of-september-sept-minirants/633394/268 "2012-09-20T04:38:30Z")
> [@StarvingButStrong](#): > > Aw, poor Alice. Have you tried breathing some steam? Or a long hot shower? > > If all else fails, ice cream/chocolate/booze can make you feel better about being miserable. I did get some ice cream sandwiches, so there’s ice cream and chocolate in one. Booze just makes me super-congested by itself, so that’s out. I’m headed off to a hot shower and then to bed. At least my nose opens somewhat after I’ve laid down. Thanks for the sympathy- I needed that! ---
**Author:** ![Seanette](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/seanette/32/9139_2.png) [@Seanette](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seanette)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2012, 8:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/try-to-remember-the-month-of-september-sept-minirants/633394/269 "2012-09-20T08:04:42Z")
> [@Alice\_The\_Goon](#): > > I can’t breaf! I have a cold, which isn’t that bad as far as colds go, except- my nose! Snerf! And I have no decongestants or antihistamines in the house- wah! > > Also, I have a severe case of the sneezles. Feel sorry for me! Nobody in my house does! Plenty of sympathy over here, plus virtual decongestants, Vick’s, and chicken soup. ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2012, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/try-to-remember-the-month-of-september-sept-minirants/633394/270 "2012-09-20T16:37:04Z")
> [@Seanette](#): > > Plenty of sympathy over here, plus virtual decongestants, Vick’s, and chicken soup. Thank you kindly. I feel silly coming in here where people are having major life issues and complaining about my little cold, but hey, when you’re miserable, you’re miserable. Sympathy’s always good, because my kid says I’m a drama queen so I don’t get any (I’m not). Of course, if he doesn’t feel good, he thinks it requires a call to 911.:rolleyes: Feeling better today, a little bit. Ice cream sandwiches help. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2012, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/try-to-remember-the-month-of-september-sept-minirants/633394/271 "2012-09-20T16:40:26Z")
Don’t worry about it, **Alice**. I have a zit in my nostril - I fully intend to complain about that. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2012, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/try-to-remember-the-month-of-september-sept-minirants/633394/272 "2012-09-20T17:00:18Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > Don’t worry about it, **Alice**. I have a zit in my nostril - I fully intend to complain about that. 🙂 “IN” ?!?!? :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2012, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/try-to-remember-the-month-of-september-sept-minirants/633394/273 "2012-09-20T17:04:36Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > Don’t worry about it, **Alice**. I have a zit in my nostril - I fully intend to complain about that. 🙂 I’ve been there- painful. Have you tried ice cream sandwiches applied to the mouth? ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2012, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/try-to-remember-the-month-of-september-sept-minirants/633394/274 "2012-09-20T17:35:46Z")
Boy that was kind of wierd and frightening and all sorts of different. Had a dream that I’d had a stroke and collapsed. Lay there for a while before my mom (? I’m 50 years old!) took me to the hospital. I could barely move, great difficulty speaking and putting words together - where I had to stop and pause and carefully think about each word. There I was kidnapped by Ron Burgundy and his crazy friend and taken to their place. I escaped and made my way home. But then as I was boarding it up so Ron Burgundy couldn’t get in, it morphed into the hide-out of a hippy terrorist gang who weren’t there at the moment. Then they showed up, but didn’t kill me because I was helpless and harmless. I escaped there and made my way to the Teacher’s Benefit Carnival they intended to blow up, and warned the teachers (with great difficulty). Then I woke up. And it took me like 20 minutes to teach myself to think and speak clearly again AFTER waking up. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2012, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/try-to-remember-the-month-of-september-sept-minirants/633394/275 "2012-09-20T17:50:38Z")
> [@purplehorseshoe](#): > > “IN” ?!?!? :eek: If you’ve never had a zit on the inside of your nostril, count your blessings. I just rubbed my nose and my eyes started watering, it hurt so much! > [@Alice\_The\_Goon](#): > > I’ve been there- painful. Have you tried ice cream sandwiches applied to the mouth? I haven’t tried that - that’s a very good idea. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Flutterby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Flutterby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flutterby)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2012, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/try-to-remember-the-month-of-september-sept-minirants/633394/276 "2012-09-20T18:19:11Z")
My mini rant… This weekend is a gong show. I have class, dentist and volunteering for Cubs so my Saturday is \*\*completely \*\*shot and then I did something silly. I tweeted to win a contest for tickets to see Hamlet on Saturday. The tix are for 7 pm, smack in the middle of when I have to be selling apples. I would love to go, I love live theatre but I can’t unless I ditch Velociraptor with Grandma to sell apples and that would just be bad. As no one at work can go either, do any Calgary Dopers want to go? Two tix, 7pm showing of Hamlet at the Vertigo Theatre. Message me if you do. Also, boss and some others went for soup today. No one asked me if I wanted to come. I could go on my own, but that would be weird to show up after them at the same place and really I have a perfectly tasty chicken sandwich and veggies. I just wish they had asked me cuz I would love some pho. ---
**Author:** ![Seanette](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/seanette/32/9139_2.png) [@Seanette](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seanette)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2012, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/try-to-remember-the-month-of-september-sept-minirants/633394/277 "2012-09-20T19:20:36Z")
> [@Alice\_The\_Goon](#): > > Thank you kindly. I feel silly coming in here where people are having major life issues and complaining about my little cold, but hey, when you’re miserable, you’re miserable. Sympathy’s always good, because my kid says I’m a drama queen so I don’t get any (I’m not). Of course, if he doesn’t feel good, he thinks it requires a call to 911.:rolleyes: Feeling better today, a little bit. Ice cream sandwiches help. Ice cream usually does. 🙂 I’m told men tend to become rather infantile when sick. My husband doesn’t, and I don’t recall that issue with my father, stepfather, or grandfather. The prevailing pattern among the men I’ve shared living quarters with is that they either ignore/deny illness or if they have to admit to being sick, just want to be left alone. ---
**Author:** ![StarvingButStrong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/starvingbutstrong/32/335_2.png) [@StarvingButStrong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StarvingButStrong)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2012, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/try-to-remember-the-month-of-september-sept-minirants/633394/278 "2012-09-20T21:28:45Z")
> [@Seanette](#): > > Ice cream usually does. 🙂 > > I’m told men tend to become rather infantile when sick. My husband doesn’t, and I don’t recall that issue with my father, stepfather, or grandfather. The prevailing pattern among the men I’ve shared living quarters with is that they either ignore/deny illness or if they have to admit to being sick, just want to be left alone. I’m sure I’ve told this before, but what the hey: According to a long ago read article, when it comes to minor illnesses you can divide people up on a 2X2 matrix, thusly: I: Want sympathy/don’t want to give in to the illness II: Want sympathy/give in to the illness III: Don’t want sympathy/don’t want to give in to the illness IV: Don’t want sympathy/give in to the illness Where “give in to the illness” means admitting you are sick and doing the reasonable things like bed rest, soup, whatever. Quadrant I types are nicknamed “The Martyrs.” They show up at work, but make sure everyone around them knows they have THE WORST COLD EVER. Quadrant II types are nicknamed “The Babies.” They take to their beds, and want the rest of the household, hell, the world, to cater to them and their need for special treats, back rubs, sympathy galore. Quadrant III types had a clever nickname, but I never can remember it and haven’t ever found the article again. Anyway, they carry on with life as best as they can and try to hide the fact that they’re ill from those around them. “Oh, it sounds like I’m coughing up a lung? No, I just got a spec of dust trapped in my throat, that’s all.” These sorts are dangerous: they’re spreading their germs about to people who may not even be aware of the risk. Quadrant IV types are nicknamed “The Dead Dogs.” They do the human equivalent of hiding under the porch. They want you to leave them alone until they recover or die. In many ways these are the easiest to deal with, unless you have strong Florence Nightengale traits and WANT to administer TLC, dammit. Sounds like you come from a Dead Dog family.🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Filbert](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/filbert/32/3433_2.png) [@Filbert](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Filbert)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2012, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/try-to-remember-the-month-of-september-sept-minirants/633394/279 "2012-09-20T22:12:47Z")
> [@Chimera](#): > > Boy that was kind of wierd and frightening and all sorts of different. > > Had a dream that I’d had a stroke and collapsed. Lay there for a while before my mom (? I’m 50 years old!) took me to the hospital. I could barely move, great difficulty speaking and putting words together - where I had to stop and pause and carefully think about each word. There I was kidnapped by Ron Burgundy and his crazy friend and taken to their place. I escaped and made my way home. But then as I was boarding it up so Ron Burgundy couldn’t get in, it morphed into the hide-out of a hippy terrorist gang who weren’t there at the moment. Then they showed up, but didn’t kill me because I was helpless and harmless. I escaped there and made my way to the Teacher’s Benefit Carnival they intended to blow up, and warned the teachers (with great difficulty). > > Then I woke up. > > And it took me like 20 minutes to teach myself to think and speak clearly again AFTER waking up. :eek: I dreamed a ballet version of Twilight- I’m not sure which is worse. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/74df32/32.png) [@The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Devil_s_Grandmother)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2012, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/try-to-remember-the-month-of-september-sept-minirants/633394/280 "2012-09-20T22:40:39Z")
StarvingButStrong, I come from a III family. I call us the “Typhoid Marys”. I’ve been wanting an [It’s It](http://www.itsiticecream.com/), which is the best ice cream sandwich _ever_. I had a plan to buy one tomorrow and eat it. But today I had to go to the dentist. $500 later, no ice cream for me. Soft foods and no cold things. ::cries:: Why is the universe so unkind? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/try-to-remember-the-month-of-september-sept-minirants/633394.md?page=13) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/try-to-remember-the-month-of-september-sept-minirants/633394.md?page=15)