# Trying to explain the dope **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 28, 2020, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trying-to-explain-the-dope/852707 "2020-04-28T03:04:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![singular1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ba9def/32.png) [@singular1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/singular1)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2020, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trying-to-explain-the-dope/852707/1 "2020-04-28T03:04:25Z")
I just got into the most ridiculous not-an-argument-really with mr. singular1 about the dope - about user names, about being loyal to a user name and a history on a a message board. This place has been a part of my life for more than two decades, but my poor husband has no idea what a message board is. It’s bizarre that we have no way to communicate about such a big part of my life. It started when I was working in New Orleans while he was back in Mississippi- I was lonely and feeling single, hence my user name. He said to just change it, and I got frustrated having to justify staying with the 20+ year name. I love him but sometimes it’s a lot… ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2020, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trying-to-explain-the-dope/852707/2 "2020-04-28T03:57:04Z")
Fun fact: My wife knows nothing about this place. She sits next to me on the couch as I’m on my laptop… and she knows I’m not paying enough attention to her favorite shows to fill her in on plot points. She could read what I’m doing if she cared enough to glance over. But I’ve never brought it up, because I like the privacy. _(She knows nothing about this character “ **digs** ”… Nothing!")_ And it’d be a lot of confusing explanations. (And contradictory ones; there’d be a lot of _“But I thought you didn’t call each other that.”_ “Well, we don’t, not in MPSIMS.” _“Mip-Sims?”_ “But if you’re pitting someone…” _“Like an olive?”)_ I’ve toyed with leaving my user name and password when I die, in case the wife and kids want to see what the ol’ man was ranting about in the second half of his life. But when I’m honest with myself, I realize they’d shrug and say “Nope, I’m good. You, sis?” “Naaah, I’m fine without knowing.” ---
**Author:** ![Sunny\_Daze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunny_daze/32/438_2.png) [@Sunny\_Daze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunny_Daze)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2020, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trying-to-explain-the-dope/852707/3 "2020-04-28T04:25:19Z")
Well, **digs** , I hope you at least leave instructions on how to let us know what happened. **singular1** I have explained to my husband and kids about the Dope. It is thoroughly marvelous to have a place online where I can discuss things in sentences and even (gasp) paragraphs without having to create a thread. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2020, 4:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trying-to-explain-the-dope/852707/4 "2020-04-28T04:48:23Z")
Oh my. The lil’wrekker gets it. DIL sorta gets it. They are the only 2 I’ve tried to explain it to. Mostly cause I spilled the beans while drugged. :eek: Mr.Wrekker could/would not understand. He’s such the people person. Talking to mostly anonymous folks on a screen just wouldn’t compute with him. I thought during my surgery and early days afterwards when the lil’wrekker was communicating with **dropzone** that she might get interested enough to read and lurk a bit. But she hasn’t. She’s all about Instagram and those kinda places. She and her friends are in near constant contact. I’ve seen her message her BF who’s sitting across the room from her and he answers by text.: smack: Occasionally she sends me a text when we’re both in the house. Crazy. But, she does understand my face in a screen and doesn’t question it, too much. ---
**Author:** ![Melbourne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5e925/32.png) [@Melbourne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Melbourne)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2020, 4:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trying-to-explain-the-dope/852707/5 "2020-04-28T04:56:03Z")
> [@singular1](#): > > . He said to just change it, and I got frustrated having to justify staying with the 20+ year name. I’m sure I’d love your husband, but I’m still p-d off at the board that changed my name from xxxx to xxxx09. My name seems bound up in my sense of identity. I’m perfectly happy to add new names — I offered to change my name to match my wife — and I separate different parts of my life with different names, but I’m attached to each of those names and loosing one would be closing off a section of my life. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2020, 12:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trying-to-explain-the-dope/852707/6 "2020-04-28T12:43:05Z")
My husband doesn’t really get the message board thing either, although I’ve told him about it. He’s a very serious-minded person and frequently doesn’t approve of frivolous pursuits or the need of hyoo-mons to be social. My daughter gets it, and I think she could fit in here, but both of us would rather find our own places on the internet. She once said she was jealous that I found the best one. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2020, 1:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trying-to-explain-the-dope/852707/7 "2020-04-28T13:39:11Z")
> [@singular1](#): > > It started when I was working in New Orleans while he was back in Mississippi- I was lonely and feeling single, hence my user name. He said to just change it… Since you’re married now, maybe you can compromise and change it to **singular2**. 😉 > [@singular1](#): > > and I got frustrated having to justify staying with the 20+ year name. Born and raised in SoCal, 17 years in the actual City of Angels, hence my username. In December it will be 17 years since I moved from L.A. But I’ll keep the name. ---
**Author:** ![Earl\_Snake-Hips\_Tucker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/earl_snake-hips_tucker/32/3269_2.png) [@Earl\_Snake-Hips\_Tucker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Earl_Snake-Hips_Tucker)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2020, 1:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trying-to-explain-the-dope/852707/8 "2020-04-28T13:45:09Z")
My wife refers to it as a ‘chat room.’ She doesn’t get it, either. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2020, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trying-to-explain-the-dope/852707/9 "2020-04-28T14:33:05Z")
I tell my wife about conversations or threads on occasion. She understands what it’s about. But she’s not the sort of person that would likely engage with a site like this, even though she would be a formidable political debate participant. ---
**Author:** ![Oredigger77](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/oredigger77/32/3181_2.png) [@Oredigger77](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oredigger77)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2020, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trying-to-explain-the-dope/852707/10 "2020-04-28T14:39:12Z")
My wife thinks the concept of a message board is weird. She knows that I spend time here and occasionally I read stuff to her, I think she thinks of as more of a news aggregator with a freaks and geeks section. Not that she’s very far off. ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2020, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trying-to-explain-the-dope/852707/11 "2020-04-28T14:57:29Z")
My kids understand, but Wife called y’all my invisible friends. ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2020, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trying-to-explain-the-dope/852707/12 "2020-04-28T15:08:54Z")
I never mention the dope to anyone in real life except obliquely. There is an ongoing joke at work. I say that I read something really fascinating on a message board. One of the young guys will ask, “Which message board?” To which I reply, “Doesn’t matter.” And everyone cracks up. I’m sure if one of them wanted to track it down it wouldn’t be hard, but no-one has bothered. ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2020, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trying-to-explain-the-dope/852707/13 "2020-04-28T16:44:44Z")
Sorry, y’all, but I just can’t resist responding to this thread. My second wife (who was known here as **Zoe** ) and I had met on a local BBS in the early 1970s and were married in an outdoor ceremony on New Year’s Day, with dozens of BBS types in attendance for the wedding! So for us there was really no “before” in the BBS world. She was a presence here about a year before I came on board and together we made many “true friends” here. So we had no explaining to do – to each other – and our stories to others about the BBS world and the various forums we knew about were pretty well in sync (unless we were deliberately lying about it!) A big chunk of our lives was devoted to this place and similar ones elsewhere. It was (perhaps) the most meaningful span of time that we shared. We had a fun story to tell to those who knew nothing about the “Online World.” ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2020, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trying-to-explain-the-dope/852707/14 "2020-04-28T17:53:15Z")
_Can’t explain I think it’s love Try to say it to you When I feel blue_ ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2020, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trying-to-explain-the-dope/852707/15 "2020-04-28T18:45:59Z")
My wife is a member here, but never posts. She is quite active on other message boards, so she understands. She just doesn’t want me posting on “her” boards because “My boards aren’t for snark.” ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2020, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trying-to-explain-the-dope/852707/16 "2020-04-29T00:36:45Z")
> [@silenus](#): > > She just doesn’t want me posting on “her” boards because “My boards aren’t for snark.” Then \*what \*is the bloody point? ---
**Author:** ![LH75](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lh75/32/4438_2.png) [@LH75](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LH75)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2020, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trying-to-explain-the-dope/852707/17 "2020-04-29T00:58:03Z")
The Incomparable Sunflower jokingly refers to all of you as my imaginary friends. Yeah, I know I mostly lurk, but I have been part of this community for more than twenty years. ---
**Author:** ![nightshadea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/7ba0ec/32.png) [@nightshadea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nightshadea)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2020, 2:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trying-to-explain-the-dope/852707/18 "2020-04-29T02:04:40Z")
my aunt thinks this is a chat room too and my cousin who knows about here makes fun of the same and wouldn’t be a good fit at all for this board … as hed be another hurricaneditka And he says talking (aka bs’ing) about stuff like this is what bars are for … ---
**Author:** ![ThelmaLou](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thelmalou/32/390_2.png) [@ThelmaLou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThelmaLou)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2020, 4:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trying-to-explain-the-dope/852707/19 "2020-04-29T04:13:05Z")
> [@digs](#): > > Fun fact: My wife knows nothing about this place. … HA! That’s what YOU think! 😛 > [@dropzone](#): > > My kids understand, but Wife called y’all my invisible friends. _\< **ThelmaLou** looks in the mirror and sees… nothing\>_ EEK! :eek: She’s right! I quote stuff I read here to several of my friends on a regular basis, but they really don’t understand the process or get why this would be a fun, informative, worthwhile way to spend one’s time. Oh well. ---
**Author:** ![Bookkeeper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bookkeeper/32/281_2.png) [@Bookkeeper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bookkeeper)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2020, 4:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trying-to-explain-the-dope/852707/20 "2020-04-29T04:36:05Z")
I often tell my wife about something I came across here, but she has no interest in being here herself. She’s happy with following a small number of friends and cat/gardening pages on Facebook. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trying-to-explain-the-dope/852707.md?page=2)