# TSDMB Enemies List **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 5, 2000, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tsdmb-enemies-list/13739 "2000-02-05T01:57:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![APB9999](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8e8cbc/32.png) [@APB9999](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/APB9999)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2000, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tsdmb-enemies-list/13739/1 "2000-02-05T01:57:00Z")
As P.J.O’Rourke said, or should have said if he didn’t, the best part of an enemies list is making up the list itself. What fun! We here at TSDMB have a common ideology, insomuch as we seek to stamp out ignorance and the spread of mushy thinking in the world. Our enemies are therefore those who perpetrate the spread of nonsense, balderdash, horsefeathers, claptrap, baloney, hot air, jibber-jabber, gobbledygook, obfuscation, twaddle, drivel, rationalization, tautology, fuzzy thinking, tendentiousness, stupidity, pig-headedness, willful ignorance, bad judgement, foolishness, silliness, idiocy, inanity, insanity, inexactitude, folly, vague assertions, horse puckey, and bullllllllllllshiiiiiiit. Among others. So it behooves us to make a list. Here it is, to start the ball rolling. Art Bell The U.S. Congress L.Ron Hubbard L.Frank Baum (Monkeys can’t fly, dammit!) L.Larouche (Hmmm. Do I see a pattern forming?) The Learning Channel Uri Geller The Kansas State Board of Education Derida Whoever dreamed up the “infomercial” Whoever dreamed up the term “infomercial” Dionne Warwick and the Psychic Friends Network The various State Lottery Commissions The RJ Reynolds Tobacco Company The Republican Party Slim Fast Shirley Maclaine The FDA (well-intentioned, but overly PACed) The EPA (same story) The PACs NPR The Democratic Party Jerry Springer Ed McMahon and Publisher’s Clearinghouse I could go on, but I want to give everyone else a chance. I hereby appoint and annoint myself Official Keeper (OK) of the enemies list, an honor I deserve for starting it. Anyone questioning my authority will be listed. No other posters to this board shall be listed (it’s too obvious and boring). Have at it. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Corrado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a88e4f/32.png) [@John\_Corrado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Corrado)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2000, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tsdmb-enemies-list/13739/2 "2000-02-05T01:58:00Z")
## Fred Phelps. Jack Chick. JMCJ This is not a sig. ---
**Author:** ![phouka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c5a1d2/32.png) [@phouka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phouka)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2000, 2:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tsdmb-enemies-list/13739/3 "2000-02-05T02:05:00Z")
Slim-Fast? Not that I’m a huge fan, but . . . how do they offend? ---
**Author:** ![Drain\_Bead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e47774/32.png) [@Drain\_Bead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drain_Bead)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2000, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tsdmb-enemies-list/13739/4 "2000-02-05T02:21:00Z")
The Democratic Party? Speak for yourself, fascist pig. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2000, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tsdmb-enemies-list/13739/5 "2000-02-05T02:38:00Z")
L. Frank Baum? Oh, come now. Fighting ignorance is hard work. We all need a break. Why not read a good book? Who cares if monkeys can’t fly…now? Maybe they’ll evolve wings. * * * Changing my sig, because Wally said to, and I really like Wally, and I’ll do anything he says, anytime he says to. ---
**Author:** ![smilingjaws](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b782af/32.png) [@smilingjaws](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smilingjaws)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2000, 2:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tsdmb-enemies-list/13739/6 "2000-02-05T02:39:00Z")
You take off L.Frank Baum right now, you hear me??? I like those flying monkeys! ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2000, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tsdmb-enemies-list/13739/7 "2000-02-05T02:57:00Z")
List? You call that a list? I can’t be a list. You don’t have Marilyn vos Savant on it. * * * Sue from El Paso Siamese Attack Puppet - Texas Experience is what you get when you didn’t get what you wanted. ---
**Author:** ![APB9999](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8e8cbc/32.png) [@APB9999](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/APB9999)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2000, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tsdmb-enemies-list/13739/8 "2000-02-05T03:12:00Z")
Okay, okay, Baum’s out. I really just wanted another “L.” name anyway. Slim Fast tells people they can lose weight without diet or exercise (at least, I _thought_ that was Slim Fast). They stay. Marilyn is mostly an advice columnist who solves silly puzzles on the side, why does she contribute to ignorance? I confess I don’t read her much because…well, because now that I think of it, she never explains the answers to her puzzles, she just spits out the answer. Okay. She’s ON THE LIST (BUM bum BUMMMMMMMMM!) Drain Bead, the Dems prevaricate no less than the Reps, which is no small amount, you pinko fellow-traveller tool of the left. JC, I don’t know who those people are, so you get the benefit of the doubt. They’re ON THE LIST. (BUM bum BUMMMMMMMM!) ---
**Author:** ![John\_Corrado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a88e4f/32.png) [@John\_Corrado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Corrado)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2000, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tsdmb-enemies-list/13739/9 "2000-02-05T03:26:00Z")
APB999: For obvious reasons why the two stated should be eliminated, check out: Jack Chick’s [www.chick.com/catalog/tractlist.asp](http://www.chick.com/catalog/tractlist.asp) and Fred Phelp’s [I dare not speak the name of this site](http://http//www.godhatesfags.com) (\*\*WARNING: These sites are completely hate-filled trash. Do not go to these sites if you are made aghast by homophobia or by someone who likes to bash people’s relions.) * * * JMCJ This is not a sig. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Corrado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a88e4f/32.png) [@John\_Corrado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Corrado)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2000, 3:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tsdmb-enemies-list/13739/10 "2000-02-05T03:28:00Z")
Sigh. Let’s try that again. [www.chick.com/catalog/tractlist.asp](http://www.chick.com/catalog/tractlist.asp) [I dare not speak this site’s name](http://www.godhatesfags.com) * * * JMCJ This is not a sig. ---
**Author:** ![Fretful\_Porpentine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fretful_porpentine/32/2873_2.png) [@Fretful\_Porpentine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fretful_Porpentine)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2000, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tsdmb-enemies-list/13739/11 "2000-02-05T03:35:00Z")
NPR? Ahem. You have obviously misspelled “Rush Limbaugh and Howard Stern.” * * * Cultural elite and proud of it. ---
**Author:** ![elelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f0a364/32.png) [@elelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elelle)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2000, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tsdmb-enemies-list/13739/12 "2000-02-05T03:36:00Z")
NPR? My radio nomination would be my fellow statesman, Mr. Wildemon. So, to get square, Martha Stewart should be added. Please explain your initial inclusion of L. Frank Baum ??? ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2000, 3:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tsdmb-enemies-list/13739/13 "2000-02-05T03:47:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by APB9999: > Marilyn is mostly an advice columnist who solves silly puzzles on the side, why does she contribute to ignorance? I confess I don’t read her much because…well, because now that I think of it, she never explains the answers to her puzzles, she just spits out the answer. Okay. She’s ON THE LIST (BUM bum BUMMMMMMMMM!) APB, MvS should be on the TOP of the list of enemies of TSD. She claims the title of world’s smartest human, and we all know who the rightful claimant to that is. On the old AOL board, right up there with the -gry question, the parkway/driveway riddle, was “Cecil who? I thought Marilyn was TWSH.” as far as grounds for killing newbies went. Even AOL has standards, ya know… ---
**Author:** ![APB9999](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8e8cbc/32.png) [@APB9999](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/APB9999)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2000, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tsdmb-enemies-list/13739/14 "2000-02-05T03:51:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Please explain your initial inclusion of L. Frank Baum ??? My _initial_ inclusion. Good one, elelle. (“elelle”? Uh-Oh} I checked out those sites, JC, and they’re pretty bad I actually remembering seeing the first on once before at some point. I don’t want to be accused of listing as “spreaders of manure” people just because their opinions disagree with my own, but I can’t imagine even most devout Christians are happy about that sort of thing. They stay on the list. Good Call, FP. Along with NPR, Rush Limbaugh and Howard Stern are now ON THE LIST. [I’m dropping the (BUM bum BUMMMMMMMMM) before it gets annoying] I don’t know who Mr. Wildemon is, but keeping with precedent you have the benefit of the doubt and he is now ON THE LIST. Martha Stewart? She spreads _something_ offensive, but I’m not sure it’s fewmets. More like…tasteful pellets golden sunshine made of burning plastic. Oh what the heck, she’s fun to disparage. Okay, she’s ON THE LIST. ---
**Author:** ![APB9999](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8e8cbc/32.png) [@APB9999](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/APB9999)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2000, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tsdmb-enemies-list/13739/15 "2000-02-05T03:52:00Z")
Man, what happened to my typing, there? So many rros ---
**Author:** ![TheUnforgiven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e480ec/32.png) [@TheUnforgiven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheUnforgiven)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2000, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tsdmb-enemies-list/13739/16 "2000-02-05T03:52:00Z")
You know, I don’t get to watch much TV at all, but why is The Learning Channel up there? I’m not defending it, I just want to know why. ---
**Author:** ![APB9999](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8e8cbc/32.png) [@APB9999](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/APB9999)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2000, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tsdmb-enemies-list/13739/17 "2000-02-05T03:56:00Z")
Ahhh! Simulpost. You make an excellent case, Major. MvS is now OTL. The Learning Channel is on the list because they have the gall to call themselves “The Learning Channel” and run seemingly ceaseless “documentaries” about ghosts in the pyramids of Egypt, whither Atlantis, and the _truth_ about UFOs. ---
**Author:** ![milroyj](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e57/32.png) [@milroyj](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/milroyj)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2000, 4:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tsdmb-enemies-list/13739/18 "2000-02-05T04:32:00Z")
Al Bore, Mr. I created the internet, etc. ---
**Author:** ![APB9999](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8e8cbc/32.png) [@APB9999](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/APB9999)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2000, 4:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tsdmb-enemies-list/13739/19 "2000-02-05T04:35:00Z")
I’m off or the weekend. Anyone to be OK of the EL while I’m gone? Interested elelle? Then you’d be ‘elelle of the EL’. As of now we have: Art Bell The U.S. Congress L.Ron Hubbard Lyndon Larouche The Learning Channel Uri Geller The Kansas State Board of Education Derida Whoever dreamed up the “infomercial” Whoever dreamed up the term “infomercial” Dionne Warwick and the Psychic Friends Network The various State Lottery Commissions The RJ Reynolds Tobacco Company The Republican Party Slim Fast Shirley Maclaine The FDA (well-intentioned, but overly PACed) The EPA (same story) The PACs NPR The Democratic Party Jerry Springer Ed McMahon and Publisher’s Clearinghouse Fred Phelps Jack Chick Marilyn vos Savant (for heresy) Rush Limbaugh Howard Stern One Mr. Wildemon, of unknown origin Martha Stewart ---
**Author:** ![APB9999](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8e8cbc/32.png) [@APB9999](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/APB9999)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2000, 4:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tsdmb-enemies-list/13739/20 "2000-02-05T04:36:00Z")
Another simulpost! I rush to add Mr. Gore before leaving. Good one. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tsdmb-enemies-list/13739.md?page=2)