# TSDMB Enemies List **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 5, 2000, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tsdmb-enemies-list/13739 "2000-02-05T01:57:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2000, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tsdmb-enemies-list/13739/121 "2000-02-11T00:54:00Z")
Oprah Winfry. ## She gets people on her show, & then recruits a horde of post-menopausal old hags to cheer her asinine rubbish, and apparantly believes that this proves that her opinions are correct. Pat Buchannan. His record of racist crap is a testimony to his ignorance. And that of his supporters. * * * With magic, you can turn a frog into a prince. With science, you can turn a frog into a Ph.D, and you still have the frog you started with. ---
**Author:** ![APB9999](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8e8cbc/32.png) [@APB9999](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/APB9999)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2000, 1:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tsdmb-enemies-list/13739/122 "2000-02-11T01:20:00Z")
Way ahead of you, Pundit Lisa. The list is now: Allred, Gloria Bailey, F. Lee Baker, Jim&Tammy Faye Barr, Bob Bell, Art Buchanan, Pat Bunnell, Sherrif John Bush, George Bush, George W. Case, Steve Chick, Jack Chick CIA Cliff of Cliff’s Notes Cochran, Johnny Daley, Richard Democratic Party Derida DoD Duke, David Durst, Fred Dworkin, Andrea EPA (same story as FDA) Falwell, Jerry Farrakhan, Louis FBI FDA (well-intentioned, but overly PACed) Gabler, Mel&Norma Gates, Bill Geller, Uri General Electric Gifford, Kathie Lee Gore, Al Harvey, Paul Hasselhof , David Hovind, Kent Hubbard, L.Ron Hyatt, Michael Irving, David Jackson, Jesse Jenny Craig Judge Judy Kansas State Board of Education Khomeini, Ayatollah Knight, Pete Kuhlman, Kathryn Landers, Ann Larouche, Lyndon Learning Channel Leuchter, Fred Limbaugh, Rush MacKinnon, Catherine MacLaine, Shirley McMahon , Ed and Publisher’s Clearinghouse McMahon, Vince Melchett, Peter (Greenpeace rep) Monsanto MTV (Good One!) NPR NRA O’Neill, Shaquille PACs Phelps, Fred Philbin, Regis Popoff, Peter Povich, Maury Quayle, Dan Republican Party Reynolds, RJ Tobacco Company Rivera, Geraldo (good call!) Roberts, Oral Rollins, L.A. Ross, Natalie-fucking Schlafly, Phyllis Schlessinger, Dr. Laura, or however you spell it Shapiro, uh, First Name, anyone? I’m blanking Sharpton, Al (can’t believe we missed him before!) Shore, Pauly Slim Fast Somers, Suzanne Spelling, Aaron Springer, Jerry Springer Stern, Howard Stewart, Martha Swaggart, Jimmy Taliban Turner, Ted Tyson, Mike U.S. Congress Unknown who dreamed up the “infomercial” Unknown who dreamed up the term “infomercial” Unz, Ron VanBuren, Abby (Dear Abby) Various State Lottery Commissions vos Savant, Marilyn (for heresy) Walters, Barbara Warwick, Dionne and the Psychic Friends Network Wildmon (Wildemon?) That’s right, I put Slim Fast and Jenny Craig BOTH on the list. SO THERE! I’m going to suggest an EL honorable mention “Untouchables List”. These are people who aren’t exactly suitable to be Doper enemies, but enough people have mentioned them, or mentioned them passionately enough, that we won’t be inviting them to our next Edwardian House Party, either. We can start it of with Jesse Ventura. I turn this list over to anyone who wants to keep it up or start their own thread with it; the EL is enough for me. Okay, we need a ruling on dead people. I’m inclined to stick to the living, since if we include every idiot in history the list will be too unwieldy. Besides, what’s the point of making an enemy out of someone who’s already dead? OTOH, we could maybe just limit it, say to 20th century figures whose celebrity centers on events after 1950 (Sorry, Neville Chamberlain!). That way we’d get the historical idiots with the most direct effect on our own environment; AND we could include Tricky Dick and Tailgunner Joe. I could go either way, so I open the floor to debate. ---
**Author:** ![APB9999](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8e8cbc/32.png) [@APB9999](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/APB9999)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2000, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tsdmb-enemies-list/13739/123 "2000-02-11T01:22:00Z")
Winfrey and Buchanan, OTL. ---
**Author:** ![salinqmind](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3ec8ea/32.png) [@salinqmind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/salinqmind)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2000, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tsdmb-enemies-list/13739/124 "2000-02-11T01:43:00Z")
Every time I see George Dubya, I remember what David Letterman had to say about him: “This guy shows every promise of being a colossal boob”. (words to that effect.) Can someone say something about the benighted state of Oklahoma? I am too inarticulate, but it is such a pathetic spot on the planet, what with the awful cllimate and the meth labs and the highest divorce rate in the country. I nominate for the list Ted Casablanca, gay gossip guy at E! Every week in his column he drops hints, he includes those maddening blind items, he promises big exposes on Keanu Reeves or Ricky Martin or Matt Damon, or Ben Affleck. It’s a nonstop barrage of “I-know-something-you-don’t, tee hee!” Directly questioned by a justifiably curious public during his live chat, he hems and haws and dodges and puts off answers “until my next column”. The next column, more of the same! When pressed for an answer as to exactly who did what to who, he will cop out and say he will be sued if he should so much as hint, but the name of the miscreant is included in his damn column! Thanks a lot, Ted! ---
**Author:** ![Kyla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/eada6e/32.png) [@Kyla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kyla)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2000, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tsdmb-enemies-list/13739/125 "2000-02-11T02:41:00Z")
The state of Oklahoma? Where the wind goes rushing down the plains? Come on, that’s a _state_. How can an entire state be an enemy of the SD? The whole state can’t promote ignorance, can it? There are universities and and smart people and…_things_ in Oklahoma. I think. * * * ~Harborina “This is my sandbox. I’m not allowed to go in the deep end. That’s where I saw the leprechauns.” ---
**Author:** ![Baraqiyal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecccb3/32.png) [@Baraqiyal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baraqiyal)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2000, 3:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tsdmb-enemies-list/13739/126 "2000-02-11T03:07:00Z")
evilbeth: Are you having an anti-Fox problem? No more than usual. jab1: That’s an interesting UserName. What does it mean? Baraqiyal is an angelic being. It’s either from the Apocrypha or Paradise Lost, not sure which. I just thought it would be real slick to have a username I couldn’t pronounce. jab1: Voyager is on UPN. Oops, so is Dilbert. WallyM7: you are out of your farking mind. This is the Straight Dope. We fight ignorance here. Don’t be a yutz. ## I’ll try not to be an ignorant yutz. Thanks for the constructive advise, although some specificity would have been helpful. Other Boards I post to often give the new guy a little slack before the name calling so as not to scare them off too quickly. Fortunately I have a thick skin. For the record, I heartily agree with the remainder of the list, and Oprah is an excellent addition. She gives instant credibility to any maniac who is able to write a book as long as they look good on television. As a final thought, I haven’t seen James Van Praagh mentioned. No sig yet. ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2000, 6:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tsdmb-enemies-list/13739/127 "2000-02-11T06:53:00Z")
> [@](#): > > When Mother Nature needs a little help call for … > > Darwins Elf Judy! Your Pirate-ness! You’re here! Stay! Stay! Stay!!! Damn it’s good to see you! -Melin ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2000, 9:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tsdmb-enemies-list/13739/128 "2000-02-11T09:15:00Z")
> [@](#): > > You may watch it and laugh because you think they’re making fun of someone else, but guess what… They’re making fun of their “quiet little whitebread, redneck mountain town” as they call it. But you’re just too culturally refined for that, eh? Go read a sonnet if you don’t like it, but don’t say it promotes ignorance based on the half an episode you probably saw. ---
**Author:** ![TVeblen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4bbf92/32.png) [@TVeblen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TVeblen)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2000, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tsdmb-enemies-list/13739/129 "2000-02-12T03:12:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by Baraqiyal: > \*\*Since this is my first post, I may as well make it controversial. Hopefully I won’t get run out of here before I post again. > > (multiple, ill-directed stupidities edited by Veb) > > Martha Stewart - Don’t blame Martha because she’s perfect and your house or apartment looks like it’s been ransacked. > > \*\* Oh, to be sure. “She’s perfect”…if you happen to admire plastic, facile, tasteless plagarists. La Martha plagarizes recipes, ignores even basic research and food safety rules, lacks even the basics of aesthetic taste and–worst of all–violates every implulse of genuine hospitality. ---
**Author:** ![TVeblen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4bbf92/32.png) [@TVeblen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TVeblen)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2000, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tsdmb-enemies-list/13739/130 "2000-02-12T03:22:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by Baraqiyal: > \*\*Since this is my first post, I may as well make it controversial. Hopefully I won’t get run out of here before I post again. > > (multiple, ill-directed stupidities edited by Veb) > > Martha Stewart - Don’t blame Martha because she’s perfect and your house or apartment looks like it’s been ransacked. > > \*\* Oh, to be sure. “She’s perfect”…if you happen to admire plastic, facile, tasteless plagarists. La Martha plagarizes recipes, ignores even basic research and food safety rules, lacks even the basics of aesthetic taste and–worst of all–violates every tenet of breeding and hospitality. A Brit/PBS version of a mystery classic put it perfectly. A guest went gaga over the flatware, etc. and the wife/hostess huffed, “_Well!_, all that about _things_.” Exactly. La Martha is a pretentious, pathetic wannabe pusher of ignorance because her conception of taste and hospitality is based on _rude, inhospitable, tasteless_ self-glory. Home and genuine hospitality are based on honor and comfort given, not sniffy, show-offy homage demanded for the hostess. BTW, Wally was right. You’re out of your farkin’ mind. And that’s a charitable take on matters. Veb ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2000, 7:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tsdmb-enemies-list/13739/131 "2000-02-12T07:20:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Okay, we need a ruling on dead people. I’m inclined to stick to the living, since if we include every idiot in history the list will be too unwieldy. Besides, what’s the point of making an enemy out of someone who’s already dead? L. Ron Hubbard, dead since 1986, made the OP. That’s why I thought William Jennings Bryan qualified. If you want to exclude the dead, fine, but we might first consider the extension of their influence beyond their deaths. How about just those who died in the last 100 years? While it doesn’t specifically mention Mel & Norma Gabler, this article on the selection of school textbooks in Texas might be interesting: [http://www.austin360.com/statesman/editions/today/metro\_state\_5.html](http://www.austin360.com/statesman/editions/today/metro_state_5.html) * * * “If you’re so pro-life, do me a favor: don’t block medical clinics, lock arms and block cemeteries.” – [Bill Hicks](http://www.billhicks.com/darktimes/index.html) ---
**Author:** ![Yue\_Han](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/eada6e/32.png) [@Yue\_Han](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yue_Han)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2000, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tsdmb-enemies-list/13739/132 "2000-02-12T16:45:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Other Boards I post to often give the new guy a little slack before the name calling so as not to scare them off too quickly. Fortunately I have a thick skin. Perhaps in other boards, it’s NOT considered bad ettiquette to bitch out everyone in a thread on your FIRST post. That is my only theory as to why so damn many people come here and feel it’s acceptable. And then when they’re called on it, they ALWAYS talk about how many other boards they’ve been on. So other boards feel that’s ok. Well. Maybe we should add something to the FAQ. “By the way, if no one knows who you are or anything about you, they won’t like it if you come out of the woodwork just to bitch.” Maybe that’ll solve a few problems. –John ---
**Author:** ![RM\_Mentock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e274bd/32.png) [@RM\_Mentock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RM_Mentock)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2000, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tsdmb-enemies-list/13739/133 "2000-02-12T17:37:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by **\APB9999\** : > **Marilyn vos Savant is OTL in a rather tongue-in-cheek way, for her perceived attempt to usurp the title of “world’s smartest human” from Cecil. No enemies list is complete without at least one heretic.** You can take the tongue out of the cheek. MOS had a great deal of fun with the Monty Hall problem, as a lot of the people who objected to her answer seemed to be professional mathematicians. However, she then declared that Fermat’s last theorem could not possibly have been solved. She felt so strongly about the issue that she wrote a whole book about it. The American Mathematical Society and the Mathematical Association of America produced official replies asking her to recant. She hasn’t, as far as I know. I read the book. It was incredibly bad. Her contention is along the lines of, if we’re not allowed to use elliptical geometry to trisect an angle, then we shouldn’t allow the mention of elliptical functions when proving Fermat’s last theorem. \----------------   rocks\ ---
**Author:** ![jab1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ee7513/32.png) [@jab1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jab1)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2000, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tsdmb-enemies-list/13739/134 "2000-02-13T01:56:00Z")
I’ll have to take your word for that, **RM**. 😕 [George W. Bush is really Alfred E. Neuman.](http://www.salon.com/comics/tomo/2000/02/07/tomo/index.html) * * * \>\< DARWIN \> \_\_ **L\_\_\_L** ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2000, 6:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tsdmb-enemies-list/13739/135 "2000-02-14T06:52:00Z")
\EVERYBODY who has claimed to be abducted by a UFO, & then made a bundle of loot writing a book about it.GGGGRRRRRRRRR!!! :mad: :mad:\ * * * With magic, you can turn a frog into a prince. With science, you can turn a frog into a Ph.D, and you still have the frog you started with. ---
**Author:** ![NickyLarson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b2d939/32.png) [@NickyLarson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NickyLarson)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2000, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tsdmb-enemies-list/13739/136 "2000-02-13T20:36:00Z")
Archer Daniels Midland (The huge food conglomerate) Tony Robbins (self-help guru. He certainly helps himself) ---
**Author:** ![APB9999](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8e8cbc/32.png) [@APB9999](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/APB9999)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2000, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tsdmb-enemies-list/13739/137 "2000-02-13T22:40:00Z")
OTL: Ted Casablanca Tony Robbins William Jennings Bryan And, official announcement: we will take anyone from the last 100 years. However, JR, I feel compelled to point out that L.Ron Hubbard is not dead; he was taken aboard the Thetan’s spacecraft and will return one day to lead us all to a new, higher plane of being. Who’s James Van Praagh? Why, specifically, Archer Daniels Midland? ---
**Author:** ![inertia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/d07c76/32.png) [@inertia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/inertia)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2000, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tsdmb-enemies-list/13739/138 "2000-02-14T00:43:00Z")
Mr. Popeil - inventor of the pocket fisherman and many other useless gadgets. Whoever invented silicon breast implants. Joan Rivers - she’s so damn fake. ---
**Author:** ![Kyla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/eada6e/32.png) [@Kyla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kyla)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2000, 7:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tsdmb-enemies-list/13739/139 "2000-02-14T07:05:00Z")
Whoever came up with the “Who Wants To Marry a Millionaire” show on Fox. That show makes me want to…do something violent, preferably to said person (must be a man). * * * ~Harborina “This is my sandbox. I’m not allowed to go in the deep end. That’s where I saw the leprechauns.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tsdmb-enemies-list/13739.md?page=6)