# Tu-95 'Bear' for sale **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 6, 2014, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tu-95-bear-for-sale/683028 "2014-03-06T17:48:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2014, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tu-95-bear-for-sale/683028/1 "2014-03-06T17:48:36Z")
Here’s something you don’t see every day. There’s a [Tupolev Tu-95 ‘Bear’ for sale on eBay](http://www.ebay.com/itm/TU-95MS-Soviet-Bomber-/121288805711). > [@](#): > > A Soviet Era strategic bomber (demilitarized with all documents in order and ready for shipment). > > Which we would like to offer you for sale. > > The plane was manufactured in 1987 and has been flown 454 hours and 24 Minutes of the estimated 5000 hours it is capable off. Cause of that fact the overall condition of the plane is very decent. Nobody has made the $3 million opening bid. Now, I’m a fan of ‘warbirds’; but this is getting ridiculous! Might be good for, say, the [del]Confederate[/del] Commemorative Air Force. They could rent it out to film productions and fly it in air shows. I can’t imagine anyone having it for personal use. ---
**Author:** ![johnpost](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f17d59/32.png) [@johnpost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/johnpost)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2014, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tu-95-bear-for-sale/683028/2 "2014-03-06T18:04:33Z")
choices, choices. this plane, that island in the Florida Keys or Dick Clark’s house. ---
**Author:** ![engineer\_comp\_geek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/engineer_comp_geek/32/504_2.png) [@engineer\_comp\_geek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/engineer_comp_geek)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2014, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tu-95-bear-for-sale/683028/3 "2014-03-06T18:41:30Z")
I like this little blurb that got automatically added to the post by an insurance advertiser. [QUOTE=ebay listing] Get free insurance quotes from RateKick [/QUOTE] I would love to see the look on the guy’s face when you call him up and say “yes, how much to insure my Soviet bomber?” ---
**Author:** ![Sal\_Ammoniac](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8dc957/32.png) [@Sal\_Ammoniac](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sal_Ammoniac)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2014, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tu-95-bear-for-sale/683028/4 "2014-03-06T18:47:11Z")
I’d buy it, but I’m concerned about provenance. What if it’s hot? ---
**Author:** ![drachillix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/48db29/32.png) [@drachillix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drachillix)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2014, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tu-95-bear-for-sale/683028/5 "2014-03-06T18:57:50Z")
> [@Sal\_Ammoniac](#): > > I’d buy it, but I’m concerned about provenance. What if it’s hot? Or what happens when some air force exercise stumbles across an inbound Tu-95 approaching US airspace. ---
**Author:** ![Spiderman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiderman/32/230_2.png) [@Spiderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiderman)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2014, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tu-95-bear-for-sale/683028/6 "2014-03-06T19:45:26Z")
> [@johnpost](#): > > choices, choices. > > this plane, that island in the Florida Keys or Dick Clark’s house. What, you can’t afford them all? ::mutters:: Damned proletariat scum. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2014, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tu-95-bear-for-sale/683028/7 "2014-03-06T19:48:44Z")
You’ll be the first to be lined up against the wall when the Revolution comes, you fascist pig. Oh, the airplane? Want. Bad. Money? No got. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2014, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tu-95-bear-for-sale/683028/8 "2014-03-06T20:06:33Z")
What’s the point of a “demilitarized” bomber? Any bomber I buy has to carry bombs. And guns. And missiles. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2014, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tu-95-bear-for-sale/683028/9 "2014-03-06T20:12:31Z")
Ukraine just might want to hold onto it just a little while longer, in case they need it urgently for something. ---
**Author:** ![wolfman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a8b319/32.png) [@wolfman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfman)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2014, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tu-95-bear-for-sale/683028/10 "2014-03-06T21:37:59Z")
'87? no thanks, I’m holding out for an '88 with a racing stripe. ---
**Author:** ![Declan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ecae2f/32.png) [@Declan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Declan)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2014, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tu-95-bear-for-sale/683028/11 "2014-03-06T21:44:57Z")
> [@drachillix](#): > > Or what happens when some air force exercise stumbles across an inbound Tu-95 approaching US airspace. Tell em its for rent, either for intercepts, or penetration raids into conus Declan ---
**Author:** ![usedtobe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/ec9cab/32.png) [@usedtobe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/usedtobe)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2014, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tu-95-bear-for-sale/683028/12 "2014-03-06T21:55:48Z")
32 prop tip creating continuous sonic booms. The radar (?) operator station lighted by a port hole - on the side, for max. blinding effect. No sense in putting it overhead and lighting the area for or less evenly. Turquoise instrument panels - and I recognize some of the instruments. A strategic bomber loud enough to be heard by submerged submarines and guided by some of the same instruments found in a 152. A cruise missile costs how much? And would have a MUCH better chance of reaching a target defended by more than sidearms. And, after 454 hours, it can’t even be ferried. The patches on the cowl are not reassuring. Any spares included? ---
**Author:** ![Death\_of\_Rats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a6a055/32.png) [@Death\_of\_Rats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Death_of_Rats)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2014, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tu-95-bear-for-sale/683028/13 "2014-03-06T22:41:59Z")
Getting it out of Odessa should be … interesting. I am sure the Ukraine could use the port fees though. ---
**Author:** ![Capt\_Kirk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/779978/32.png) [@Capt\_Kirk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Capt_Kirk)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2014, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tu-95-bear-for-sale/683028/14 "2014-03-06T22:50:40Z")
Buy it and I will shoot it down with my ME-262 ::lottery fantasy:: **Capt** ---
**Author:** ![randompattern](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7993a0/32.png) [@randompattern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/randompattern)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2014, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tu-95-bear-for-sale/683028/15 "2014-03-06T23:04:45Z")
Deck it out for luxury charters. The Tail-Gunner suite costs extra. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2014, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tu-95-bear-for-sale/683028/16 "2014-03-06T23:16:07Z")
All the damn gauges are metric. It’ll be too much of a hassle to put standard measure decals on every one. ---
**Author:** ![ducati](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/cc9497/32.png) [@ducati](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ducati)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2014, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tu-95-bear-for-sale/683028/17 "2014-03-06T23:49:06Z")
I’ll see your Bear and raise you a [Fulcrum](http://www.barnstormers.com/classified_870848_MiG+29+UB.html)…🆒 ---
**Author:** ![the\_diego](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7bcc69/32.png) [@the\_diego](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/the_diego)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2014, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tu-95-bear-for-sale/683028/18 "2014-03-06T23:50:39Z")
Fastest propeller-driven airplane. Imagine flying one with soviet red stars painted on and being able to outrun some die-hard patriot flying a P-51 Mustang. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2014, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tu-95-bear-for-sale/683028/19 "2014-03-07T00:04:55Z")
Wow. That would be so cool… ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Mondegreen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/91b2a8/32.png) [@Lord\_Mondegreen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Mondegreen)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2014, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tu-95-bear-for-sale/683028/20 "2014-03-07T00:09:15Z")
Well that solves the problem of what to ask for when my birthday rolls around. I love the ebay line under the photos. “Have one to sell?” Oh yes, I forgot. There’s one in my backyard. Maybe I _should_ put it up for sale on ebay. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tu-95-bear-for-sale/683028.md?page=2)