# Tub full o' Tabasco
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tub-full-o-tabasco/92470
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [November 9, 2001, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tub-full-o-tabasco/92470 "2001-11-09T17:27:23Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)
#### Post date: [November 9, 2001, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tub-full-o-tabasco/92470/1 "2001-11-09T17:27:23Z")
So, my friend and I were talking about some short conceptual films called “Jarbaby Bathes In” where in we film and take photography of me bathing in my favorite foods.
And the subject of Tabasco came up.
Qadgop? Skin specialists? Other docs?
what would happen to a naked hoo ha submerged in Tabasco? Should I not do it?
jar
---
### Author:  [@Lightnin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lightnin)
#### Post date: [November 9, 2001, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tub-full-o-tabasco/92470/2 "2001-11-09T17:33:20Z")
Well, I’ve heard of “hot, wet pussy” but that’s ridiculous.
[sub]I can’t believe I just said that, either.[/sub]
I think I speak for all of us, **Jarbaby** when I say that we want to see the resultant pictures.
---
### Author:  [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)
#### Post date: [November 9, 2001, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tub-full-o-tabasco/92470/3 "2001-11-09T17:36:57Z")
Well it’s not like it would be naked. I would be SUBMERGED in tabasco. You’d just see my face and shoulders and such.
jar
---
### Author:  [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)
#### Post date: [November 9, 2001, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tub-full-o-tabasco/92470/4 "2001-11-09T17:37:12Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by jarbabyj \*
> \*\*So, my friend and I were talking about some short conceptual films called “Jarbaby Bathes In” where in we film and take photography of me bathing in my favorite foods.
>
> And the subject of Tabasco came up.
>
> Qadgop? Skin specialists? Other docs?
>
> what would happen to a naked hoo ha submerged in Tabasco? Should I not do it?
>
> jar \*\*
IANADoctor, but think about it…you get the sensation of intense heat when the mucous membrane of your mouth is exposed to Tabasco. I don’t think you really want a Tabasco’ed hoo-ha.
That’d hurt. Really badly.
---
### Author:  [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)
#### Post date: [November 9, 2001, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tub-full-o-tabasco/92470/5 "2001-11-09T17:38:55Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by jarbabyj \*
> \*\*Well it’s not like it would be naked. I would be SUBMERGED in tabasco. You’d just see my face and shoulders and such.
>
> jar \*\*
Unless you could guarantee that the Tabasco would not get _ahem_ inside you, I wouldn’t risk it. It’s all vinegar and pepper. The fumes might even be rough on the eyes.
---
### Author:  [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)
#### Post date: [November 9, 2001, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tub-full-o-tabasco/92470/6 "2001-11-09T17:39:29Z")
But to ME, Tabasco really ain’t that hot. And are we talking about a temporary sting or permanent membrane damage?
because I’ll put up with a little pain. I can always bathe in milk afterwards.
jjar
---
### Author:  [@Why\_A\_Duck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Why_A_Duck)
#### Post date: [November 9, 2001, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tub-full-o-tabasco/92470/7 "2001-11-09T17:40:24Z")
Bad Google, Bad Bad Google!
Making me open up [this link](http://www.ldysondra.com/heatitup.htm), which deals with the effects of various substances (including Tabasco) on hoo-has, at work.
---
### Author:  [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)
#### Post date: [November 9, 2001, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tub-full-o-tabasco/92470/8 "2001-11-09T17:47:41Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by jarbabyj \*
> \*\*But to ME, Tabasco really ain’t that hot. And are we talking about a temporary sting or permanent membrane damage?
>
> because I’ll put up with a little pain. I can always bathe in milk afterwards.
>
> jjar \*\*
Up to you, of course, but the ol’ hoo-ha membranes aren’t used to such things (and if they are, please don’t tell me). I wouldn’t risk it, myself, because I suspect we’re talking about more than a temporary sting. Or more accurately, that it may be temporary, but considerably more than a sting.
---
### Author:  [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)
#### Post date: [November 9, 2001, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tub-full-o-tabasco/92470/9 "2001-11-09T17:47:59Z")
my favorite line from that link is this:
> [@](#):
>
> Once applied your sub will have to “sit it out”
Sorry master, my clit’s on fire! I’m going to sit this one out.
jar
---
### Author:  [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)
#### Post date: [November 9, 2001, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tub-full-o-tabasco/92470/10 "2001-11-09T17:54:30Z")
Do you want that Tabasco Pasteurized?
---
### Author:  [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)
#### Post date: [November 9, 2001, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tub-full-o-tabasco/92470/11 "2001-11-09T18:02:12Z")
Since it’s anyway for a film, and not performance art, couldn’t you just substitute a non-fiery tabasco-double? Or would that ruin the artistic integrity? Or the fun?
---
### Author:  [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)
#### Post date: [November 9, 2001, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tub-full-o-tabasco/92470/12 "2001-11-09T18:04:33Z")
Well that’s what I’m thinking now. I mean, if the rice pudding’s going to be authentic, the Tabasco should be, too…but if it’s going to damage, I suppose we could use
a) diluted Tabasco
or
b) ‘stage’ tabasco
j
---
### Author:  [@DaToad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DaToad)
#### Post date: [November 9, 2001, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tub-full-o-tabasco/92470/13 "2001-11-09T18:13:24Z")
You can always do a functional test. Apply a small amount to the ol’ Hoo Ha with q-tip or finger and wait for the reaction. May want to check with Hoo Ha’s closest neighbor too.
---
### Author:  [@Turbo\_Dog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Turbo_Dog)
#### Post date: [November 9, 2001, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tub-full-o-tabasco/92470/14 "2001-11-09T18:14:11Z")
Get a small bottle of it, give a few shakes down yonder and see iffen it makes ya holler. If ya do, don’t try a tub of it.
Personally, I’d think tomato juice would be better for you, and would look just as good if you watered it down a tad.
---
### Author:  [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)
#### Post date: [November 9, 2001, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tub-full-o-tabasco/92470/15 "2001-11-09T18:14:42Z")
it’s gonna be a GREAT WEEKEND!
😃
---
### Author:  [@Why\_A\_Duck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Why_A_Duck)
#### Post date: [November 9, 2001, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tub-full-o-tabasco/92470/16 "2001-11-09T18:20:33Z")
Something else to consider, cost.
Let’s do the math (No, I will not provide cites. Believe or perish).
Average volume of a full bath tub: 40-60 gallons, or 160-240 quarts.
Average volume of a human body: roughly 2.8 cubic feet or around 80 quarts.
Let our friend subtraction have a whack at this and we are left with jarbaby needing about 80 quarts of tabasco (minimum).
[Netgrocer.com](http://Netgrocer.com) currently sells the stuff for $1.29 for 2 oz. or about $20.64 per quart.
This means this photo and potential hoo-ha hell will cost **$1,651.20**.
I think jarbaby better consider a grant from the Chubb foundation for this one.
---
### Author:  [@Kaotic\_Newtral](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kaotic_Newtral)
#### Post date: [November 9, 2001, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tub-full-o-tabasco/92470/17 "2001-11-09T18:23:07Z")
Jarbaby,
```
If my figures add up, you'll have to find(pilfer) approximately 13.62billion bottles of tabasco to do this.
```
You’ll single-handedly cause a shortage of those little peppers and vinegar…It’ll be ANARCHY!!![sub]save me one, please.[/sub]
---
### Author:  [@Zyada](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zyada)
#### Post date: [November 9, 2001, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tub-full-o-tabasco/92470/18 "2001-11-09T18:25:36Z")
Before you let the tobasco get near your hoo-ha, perhaps you should ask some of the men around here what it was like to chop peppers then go to the bathroom. I’ve seen that mentioned around here before. And women’s internal tissue is a lot more delicate than men’s external tissue.
I have heard of one woman who got blisters in her mouth from eating the local food in India. I don’t remember how reliable the source was, but take that as a caution.
---
### Author:  [@plnnr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/plnnr)
#### Post date: [November 9, 2001, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tub-full-o-tabasco/92470/19 "2001-11-09T18:43:41Z")
Not only will you have to round up all those billions of little bottles, but have you noticed that the stuff only comes out a drop at a time? It’ll take you years, YEARS I TELL YOU, to fill the tub up.
And I was seriously thinking of making red beans and rice for dinner tonight, with Tabasco as the natural condiment. This has either sealed the deal or I’ll find myself looking to see that short and curlies aren’t floating around in my jar of Tabasco.
---
### Author:  [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)
#### Post date: [November 9, 2001, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tub-full-o-tabasco/92470/20 "2001-11-09T19:03:46Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Why A Duck \*
> **This means this photo and potential hoo-ha hell will cost $1,651.20.**
Perhaps, but have you calculated what the _ **resale value** _ of the Tabasco would be? I wager that many a Doper would shell out several month’s rent for some. I _could_ be wrong…
[Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tub-full-o-tabasco/92470.md?page=2)