# TubaDiva is back as an admin after less than 30 days - how do YOU feel? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 14, 2005, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tubadiva-is-back-as-an-admin-after-less-than-30-days-how-do-you-feel/294470 "2005-03-14T15:46:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 38
**Author:** ![Silver\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@Silver\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Fire)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2005, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tubadiva-is-back-as-an-admin-after-less-than-30-days-how-do-you-feel/294470/743 "2005-03-20T20:35:32Z")
> [@1010011010](#): > > I don’t know if you know this, but Cindy’s husband committed suicide not too long ago and she’s really sensitive about it. Bwahaha! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![gommsn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bcef8e/32.png) [@gommsn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gommsn)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2005, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tubadiva-is-back-as-an-admin-after-less-than-30-days-how-do-you-feel/294470/744 "2005-03-20T20:54:59Z")
> [@Avenger](#): > > Qadgop gave you one. The clue was in ‘Gaudere is a woman’… Well, I ain’t gettin it. What does my remark have to do with Gaudere’s gender? Something “inside” going on here or am I just being thick? :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![FinnAgain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/finnagain/32/12500_2.png) [@FinnAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinnAgain)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2005, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tubadiva-is-back-as-an-admin-after-less-than-30-days-how-do-you-feel/294470/745 "2005-03-20T20:57:56Z")
> [@gommsn](#): > > I’m waiting for a reply. Sorry, I was out running errands. **Quadgop** got it in one guess. Sorry if I caused any confusion. ---
**Author:** ![Avenger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9de0a6/32.png) [@Avenger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Avenger)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2005, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tubadiva-is-back-as-an-admin-after-less-than-30-days-how-do-you-feel/294470/746 "2005-03-20T20:58:10Z")
> [@gommsn](#): > > Well, I ain’t gettin it. What does my remark have to do with Gaudere’s gender? Something “inside” going on here or am I just being thick? :rolleyes: Hence the fact that the reply was not aimed at you, but at the person who called Gaudere ‘he’… ---
**Author:** ![gommsn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bcef8e/32.png) [@gommsn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gommsn)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2005, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tubadiva-is-back-as-an-admin-after-less-than-30-days-how-do-you-feel/294470/747 "2005-03-20T21:23:06Z")
> [@Avenger](#): > > Hence the fact that the reply was not aimed at you, but at the person who called Gaudere ‘he’… Ah, yes, the lately departed **Indigo**. What can I say? I’ll try to keep up. I’m still learning to keep the comments in the right order and attributed to the right author. My one consoling thought is that everyone was a newbie once. Thanx guys, good lesson :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![leander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/bcef8e/32.png) [@leander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/leander)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2005, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tubadiva-is-back-as-an-admin-after-less-than-30-days-how-do-you-feel/294470/748 "2005-03-20T21:36:58Z")
**blueruin** - Whatever valid points you may have made, your little game flushed them down the toilet. Thanks for distracting from the discussion here schmuck. **Ed** - You might want to seriously reconsider your management “style”. I’m not sure what formal training you have, if any, but it seems pretty clear that you’re lacking in some of the basic organizational and managerial skills necessary for running a (hopefully) for-profit enterprise. It’s one thing to write and edit a column; it’s quite another to run a small business. And however you may feel about the casual and informal way you manage this place, it’s not exactly serving in the best interest of the community or “business model”, is it? In other words, think about exactly how this place is run, what it produces (product to client and benefit to Reader, if any), and how all that might be enhanced by exploring other avenues and soliciting outside help. If there’s any way you could bring some profitability to this place and make the user happier, even if that means drastic changes to current policy, attitude and management of administration, then why not consider it? There’s no question that you have lots of “free” resources here at your disposal. Why you seem so loathe to use them is anyone’s guess, but the many lawyers, businessmen and women, IT folks, etc. could and would most certainly lend their expertise in making the SDMB a better place. For us, you and possibly even your bosses. (The other possibility, which I know sadly would never happen, is to sell or license this site to an outside entity. And while it’s clear you won’t allow that, it’s important to consider what (the hypothetical) “they” might do: Professional management, dedicated servers, a business/marketing plan (who’d a thunk it?), etc. – all which takes into account the bottom line and strategizes in such a way that makes business sense. Again, we know it ain’t gonna happen, but _thinking about how a professional service company might handle matters is a good way to gauge your own competence._) Course, if you are of the opinion that everything’s fine, then there’s no helping. But if you truly want what’s best for this place, then you ought to at least consider the possibility that your way ain’t the best way. If you truly want it to survive, grow and even strive, then you will be open to change and outside influence, even if that means letting go a bit and admitting your weaknesses. ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2005, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tubadiva-is-back-as-an-admin-after-less-than-30-days-how-do-you-feel/294470/749 "2005-03-20T21:45:18Z")
> [@Ed Zotti](#): > > You may say: So what she was sorry? Anybody who did something like that in real life would get fired. Maybe. However, there were other considerations. The first, and I may as well be frank about this, is that Tuba is pivotal to the operation of the SDMB and the SD website generally. I pay her a modest stipend; in return she takes care of a long list of tasks that would eat up all my time if I tried to do them myself. (I know this because I used to do them myself, and they ate up all my time.) Many of them involve what amounts to SDMB customer service. They are not the sort of thing you can delegate to a volunteer; hiring someone off the street to do them would be prohibitively expensive. > > The preceding may make it sound like my decision was strictly a matter of dollars and cents. That’s not the case. Tuba has been involved with the SDMB since the beginning - close to ten years. In that time she has shown herself to be reliable, loyal, and resourceful. **The board is far more than a job to her**. She has gone above and beyond the call countless times. I owe her a great debt; **I can’t imagine how I would keep the place going without her**. The bolded sentences, I believe, show the crux of the problem I see remaining as a threat to both **TubaDiva** and the SDMB. By what you’ve said, she was and remains indispensable to the board. This incident, while chastening for her, also confirms that status. This isn’t healthy for either the board or **TD**. I speak from experience, having been an indispensable employee at one time, putting in long hard hours in a job no one else at my company could do, identifying powerfully with the organization I was a part of. This led in the end to burnout that verged on nervous breakdown, and my abrupt departure after a series of mistakes arising from my physical and mental state toward the end of my tenure. The company survived the mad scramble after my departure to find someone to replace me (I heard it took two full-time editors and a part-time secretary :eek: ), but it was a very bad time for them for a while there. I’m not trying to make any telediagnosis of **TD’s** mental status, only to offer my observations of what can happen to a person in her situation, and the ramifications it can have, the damage it can do to the very thing she loves so fiercely and works so hard for. Pragmatically speaking, I believe the SDMB **needs** to institute some relief for **TD** , to set in place some backup person(s) who can take some of the load off her, at the very least learn her functions and be ready to perform them should she be unable to. Jenny’s not superwoman, she’s not immortal. She’s just as vulnerable to illness, injury, or (Og forbid) death as any of the rest of us. I hope, **Ed** , that you are working on finding and developing the backup person/team so that she won’t have to go on being indispensable. In my opinion, this is essential for the long-term health of the SDMB and **TubDiva** herself. ---
**Author:** ![Ed\_Zotti](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/fbc32d/32.png) [@Ed\_Zotti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ed_Zotti)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2005, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tubadiva-is-back-as-an-admin-after-less-than-30-days-how-do-you-feel/294470/750 "2005-03-20T21:56:23Z")
> [@EddyTeddyFreddy](#): > > Jenny’s not superwoman, she’s not immortal. She’s just as vulnerable to illness, injury, or (Og forbid) death as any of the rest of us. I hope, **Ed** , that you are working on finding and developing the backup person/team so that she won’t have to go on being indispensable. In my opinion, this is essential for the long-term health of the SDMB and **TubDiva** herself. Point taken. I think all of us here, not least TubaDiva herself, have arrived at the same conclusion. ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2005, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tubadiva-is-back-as-an-admin-after-less-than-30-days-how-do-you-feel/294470/751 "2005-03-20T22:09:37Z")
Thanks, **Ed**. And Jenny, I humbly apologize for not catching that typo in my last line! :mad: :smack: :o ---
**Author:** ![1010011010](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/1/ea666f/32.png) [@1010011010](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/1010011010)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2005, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tubadiva-is-back-as-an-admin-after-less-than-30-days-how-do-you-feel/294470/752 "2005-03-20T23:35:58Z")
> [@EddyTeddyFreddy](#): > > I humbly apologize for not catching that typo in my last line! :mad: :smack: :o Tubgirl… singing opera.:gouges out own eyes: :realizes that doesn’t get rid of the mental image: :quivers in a heap in the corner: ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2005, 12:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tubadiva-is-back-as-an-admin-after-less-than-30-days-how-do-you-feel/294470/753 "2005-03-21T00:07:13Z")
That’s what you get for ever clicking on that link in the first place. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![35340](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/3/8baadc/32.png) [@35340](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/35340)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2005, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tubadiva-is-back-as-an-admin-after-less-than-30-days-how-do-you-feel/294470/754 "2005-03-21T01:27:15Z")
**Edz** , maybe I read you wrong but it sounded like: You had 4 situations before “The Incident”. In all situations, you went to yellow light (slow down, hold up hoss, whoa) with the mod+ persons (note this term encompasses Admins as well) in question. Two pulled back, composed themselves, were contrite, whatever, were back. Two did not. They were removed from their positions. I assume that any mod+ people at that point were aware of the general situations and learned that yellow light responses from you mean back way the hell down, back up so fast they should beep to warn anyone behind them. Including TubaDiva. So when you went red light on her, of course she backed up. That’s what you had shown that you respond to. Doesn’t matter if the people who didn’t back down were ever right or wrong, it seems like you settled it by canning them. That’s what worries me about your management style. Maybe it’s too hands off. What happened was really boneheaded thing that may violate the privacy policies here as well as what should be basic acceptance of a position of power here - the ability to shut the fuck up about stuff that you shouldn’t be spreading about. As well as violating LJ policy, and possibly Meghan’s Law. Your style, as you painted it, concerns me because she backed off (and is so intrinsic to the lubricative functions of the site, personably, didn’t mean to imply she was a server admin) in the “right way” as your previous clashes with other mod+s (perhaps even her) ‘trained’ her to do (I learned aftere an asshole was fired to never joke about firing people - it’s termination grounds at that place, while I ‘learned’ at another place to ignore constant cracks about cults and ritual suicide) - whether it was true contritness or simply self-preservation, I don’t know (no data to make a determination). I think the bone at least I have is that there are some things that **are not done** and cannot be washed away by any level of backpedaling or sincere sorrow. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2005, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tubadiva-is-back-as-an-admin-after-less-than-30-days-how-do-you-feel/294470/755 "2005-03-21T01:53:51Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > Gee, what a shocker there. Nice work, **Gaudere**. (Can I call 'em or can I call 'em?) > [@](#): > > I think the problem stems from a lot of people assuming that if you disagreed with **Tuba** , you were on his side (he certainly seems to feel that way!), and that to say **Tuba** was wrong means that you support child molestation or whatever. I really hope I never gave that impression; if I did, I apologize, and it’d help me understand why people took my disagreement with them on this matter so personally. Daniel ---
**Author:** ![Ed\_Zotti](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/fbc32d/32.png) [@Ed\_Zotti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ed_Zotti)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2005, 2:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tubadiva-is-back-as-an-admin-after-less-than-30-days-how-do-you-feel/294470/756 "2005-03-21T02:58:02Z")
> [@Mynn](#): > > **Edz** , maybe I read you wrong but it sounded like: > > You had 4 situations before “The Incident”. In all situations, you went to yellow light (slow down, hold up hoss, whoa) with the mod+ persons (note this term encompasses Admins as well) in question. Two pulled back, composed themselves, were contrite, whatever, were back. Two did not. They were removed from their positions. > > I assume that any mod+ people at that point were aware of the general situations and learned that yellow light responses from you mean back way the hell down, back up so fast they should beep to warn anyone behind them. Including TubaDiva. > > So when you went red light on her, of course she backed up. That’s what you had shown that you respond to. Doesn’t matter if the people who didn’t back down were ever right or wrong, it seems like you settled it by canning them. > > … > > Your style, as you painted it, concerns me because she backed off (and is so intrinsic to the lubricative functions of the site, personably, didn’t mean to imply she was a server admin) in the “right way” as your previous clashes with other mod+s (perhaps even her) ‘trained’ her to do (I learned aftere an asshole was fired to never joke about firing people - it’s termination grounds at that place, while I ‘learned’ at another place to ignore constant cracks about cults and ritual suicide) - whether it was true contritness or simply self-preservation, I don’t know (no data to make a determination). I think you’re reading too much into this. What you describe is the kind of thing I associate with mad dog bosses who go ballistic when you say the wrong thing and whom the the staff learns to placate. I don’t think anything like that was going on here. I think Tuba was genuinely horrified at the thought that she’d imperiled the board. That seemed like a legitimate basis for going forward, and in the end that’s what I decided to do. ---
**Author:** ![Good\_Egg](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/96bed5/32.png) [@Good\_Egg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Good_Egg)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2005, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tubadiva-is-back-as-an-admin-after-less-than-30-days-how-do-you-feel/294470/757 "2005-03-21T03:08:33Z")
This is really long, is it the longest serious thread ever? So, do we get to keep this board then? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Reeder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Reeder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Reeder)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2005, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tubadiva-is-back-as-an-admin-after-less-than-30-days-how-do-you-feel/294470/758 "2005-03-21T03:12:11Z")
Wow…There is what three posts by Ed in this thread? Very cool. Ed handles the board well. Kudos. ---
**Author:** ![leander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/bcef8e/32.png) [@leander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/leander)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2005, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tubadiva-is-back-as-an-admin-after-less-than-30-days-how-do-you-feel/294470/759 "2005-03-21T03:14:44Z")
**Ed** , I realize you haven’t responded to my post and frankly I don’t expect you to, but I hope you take it for what it is – _constructive_ criticism. ---
**Author:** ![Reeder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Reeder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Reeder)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2005, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tubadiva-is-back-as-an-admin-after-less-than-30-days-how-do-you-feel/294470/760 "2005-03-21T03:14:36Z")
And no…I don’t need any TP… Thankyouverymuch ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2005, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tubadiva-is-back-as-an-admin-after-less-than-30-days-how-do-you-feel/294470/761 "2005-03-21T03:21:34Z")
> [@Left Hand of Dorkness](#): > > (Can I call 'em or can I call 'em?) > > I really hope I never gave that impression; if I did, I apologize, and it’d help me understand why people took my disagreement with them on this matter so personally. > > Daniel No, I never thought you were implying this. But there were more than a few who accused people of being appologists for kiddy-diddlers. ---
**Author:** ![Reeder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Reeder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Reeder)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2005, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tubadiva-is-back-as-an-admin-after-less-than-30-days-how-do-you-feel/294470/762 "2005-03-21T03:40:20Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > No, I never thought you were implying this. But there were more than a few who accused people of being appologists for kiddy-diddlers. I was one of those. But you must understand. As a father of three, two of them female…I feel anything done, anything at all, to protect them is not to much. Especially when you are dealing with a person that has already done something. Kudos to **Tuba**. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tubadiva-is-back-as-an-admin-after-less-than-30-days-how-do-you-feel/294470.md?page=37) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tubadiva-is-back-as-an-admin-after-less-than-30-days-how-do-you-feel/294470.md?page=39)