# TubaDiva is not fit to be in a position of power on this board.

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tubadiva-is-not-fit-to-be-in-a-position-of-power-on-this-board/354845>\
**Category:** The BBQ Pit\
**Created:** [April 30, 2006, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tubadiva-is-not-fit-to-be-in-a-position-of-power-on-this-board/354845 "2006-04-30T16:58:42Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 13

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**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\
**Post date:** [May 3, 2006, 7:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tubadiva-is-not-fit-to-be-in-a-position-of-power-on-this-board/354845/241 "2006-05-03T07:57:40Z")

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> [@Muffin](#):
>
> One way to earn respect is to treat others with respect, and behave courteously when exploring differences and working toward resolutions. The manner of the extended pursuit of TubaDiva by you and catsix has not reflected this.
> 
> Look back trough this thread of yours. Has it brought anything to the attention of TPTB that had not already been thoroughly aired? No. Has it antagonized one or more mod to speak harshly? Yes. Therefore what have you accomplished? Nothing. That is an example of how you lose respect.
> 
> What it all comes down to is that people speak hastily when they are antagonized. From over a year back, you and catsix antagonized TubaDiva, such that when she spoke hastily a few days ago, you and catsix played it for all it was worth. In the last few posts in this thread, I have pressed you, causing you to speak hastily. You have demonstrated that you are unwiling to offer the same consideration to TubaDiva and other mods that you hope to receive for yourself. That is a further example of how you lose respect.
> 
> Quite frankly, you have a lot of growing up to do.

Take this post, print it out, and stick it on your fridge **Garfield** and **catsix**.

Very well (and temperately said) **Muffin**.

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**Author:** ![Garfield226](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Garfield226](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Garfield226)\
**Post date:** [May 3, 2006, 8:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tubadiva-is-not-fit-to-be-in-a-position-of-power-on-this-board/354845/242 "2006-05-03T08:01:56Z")

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> [@1920s Style "Death Ray"](#):
>
> A claim to what?

To enough respect for an answer.

Do you think my question in the ATMB thread is unfair or disrespectful? MORE unfair or disrespectful than **TubaDiva** ’s original statement/threat/whatever to **catsix**?

> [@Muffin](#):
>
> One way to earn respect is to treat others with respect, and behave courteously when exploring differences and working toward resolutions. The manner of the extended pursuit of TubaDiva by you and catsix has not reflected this.

I’ll ask you the same question I asked above. Was my question posed to **TubaDiva** in the ATMB thread discurteous?

> [@](#):
>
> Look back trough this thread of yours. Has it brought anything to the attention of TPTB that had not already been thoroughly aired? No. Has it antagonized one or more mod to speak harshly? Yes. Therefore what have you accomplished? Nothing. That is an example of how you lose respect.

So **Dex** ’s “harsh” post is now my fault? Unbelievable.

> [@](#):
>
> What it all comes down to is that people speak hastily when they are antagonized. From over a year back, you and catsix antagonized TubaDiva, such that when she spoke hastily a few days ago, you and catsix played it for all it was worth. In the last few posts in this thread, I have pressed you, causing you to speak hastily. You have demonstrated that you are unwiling to offer the same consideration to TubaDiva and other mods that you hope to receive for yourself. That is a further example of how you lose respect.

Yes, some people speak hastily when they are antagonized. Some realize it and try to think before they speak, and on the occasions when they do not, they clarify and apologize when it’s warranted. I’ve offered a clarification and since it was warranted, an apology, to you, which is exactly what I expect of the administration. I’d be willing to offer them the same consideration as I’m asking for myself if they also offered the clarification which was asked of them, and an apology if warranted, just as I did.

> [@](#):
>
> Quite frankly, you have a lot of growing up to do.

No dispute from me.

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**Author:** ![Fish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bc8723/32.png) [@Fish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fish)\
**Post date:** [May 3, 2006, 8:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tubadiva-is-not-fit-to-be-in-a-position-of-power-on-this-board/354845/243 "2006-05-03T08:33:06Z")

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I’m not sure I get this “wall of silence” thing, **Garfield.** You had already whipped yourself into a righteous Pitting froth before 24 hours had even gone by. On a weekend.

When any real length of time had passed, you were well past froth and into frappé. Why would anybody in their right minds step into the lion’s den, just because you … and yes, I fear a _Star Trek_ quote is appropriate:

> [@General Chang](#):
>
> Don’t wait for the translation! Answer me now!

…because you couldn’t wait even 21 hours for an answer? Do you expect other people are on this board 24/7?

My suggestion is that you go away and relax. Take a break from the boards. Get some perspective: you do not live here at a keyboard, and neither do we. (Well, maybe **Guinistasia** does. :D)

I’ve seen this kind of nervous tension only on fanboy boards like Neverwinter Nights 2, or Elder Scrolls: Oblivion, or City of Heroes, where if someone’s post hasn’t been answered in full within 30 minutes, with charts and graphs, by a designated board representative with full authorities, that those fanboy posters whine and kick their feet and claim they’re being “ignored.”

I figured Dopers were above this. But you couldn’t wait a reasonable amount of time before trying to frenzy the sharks in the Pit. I just don’t get it.

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**Author:** ![Zoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a4c791/32.png) [@Zoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zoe)\
**Post date:** [May 3, 2006, 9:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tubadiva-is-not-fit-to-be-in-a-position-of-power-on-this-board/354845/244 "2006-05-03T09:06:05Z")

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**Garfield** , thank you for your expression of respect for the pain I was feeling earlier. Sorry to have dumped my feelings in your thread. The arguments seemed so petty. But I do understand that the need for respect is no small thing ever.

If it is any help to you at all, one of the things that I have learned is that it is generally bad for my own self-esteem to place expectations on someone else. It’s good to let people know how I feel and what I would like to see happen. But then I have to let go. That avoids a lot of disappointment and it leaves me in control of my own feelings. I choose my battles carefully.

I’m feeling better and I hope that you are.

Pax

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**Author:** ![Sevastopol](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cdc98d/32.png) [@Sevastopol](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sevastopol)\
**Post date:** [May 3, 2006, 9:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tubadiva-is-not-fit-to-be-in-a-position-of-power-on-this-board/354845/245 "2006-05-03T09:28:30Z")

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> [@Fish](#):
>
> … Why would anybody in their right minds step into the lion’s den, just because you … and yes, I fear a _Star Trek_ quote is appropriate:
> 
> > [@General Chang](#):
> >
> > Don’t wait for the translation! Answer me now!
> 
> …

[I believe this to be a whoosh.](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cuban_Missile_Crisis) Why, yes I do.

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**Author:** ![roger\_thornhill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/d9b06d/32.png) [@roger\_thornhill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/roger_thornhill)\
**Post date:** [May 3, 2006, 9:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tubadiva-is-not-fit-to-be-in-a-position-of-power-on-this-board/354845/246 "2006-05-03T09:56:38Z")

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If Tuba conforms to the norm (but then, as someone said, ‘show me a normal person and I’ll cure her’), then she must be cock-a-hoop about all this attention. For, “there’s only one thing worse than being talked about, and that’s _not_ being talked about”.

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**Author:** ![Revenant\_Threshold](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f1d935/32.png) [@Revenant\_Threshold](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revenant_Threshold)\
**Post date:** [May 3, 2006, 10:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tubadiva-is-not-fit-to-be-in-a-position-of-power-on-this-board/354845/247 "2006-05-03T10:34:58Z")

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Ok, so everyone’s jumping on **Garfield** and saying that because he has a history of antagonising **Tuba** , and because of his tone, his claims are without merit. How about me? I think i’ve kept a reasonable tone, and I certainly don’t have a history of anything with **Tuba** , or any mod. Do I deserve a clarification from **Tuba** , or an apology from **Dex**?

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**Author:** ![catsix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e19b73/32.png) [@catsix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/catsix)\
**Post date:** [May 3, 2006, 11:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tubadiva-is-not-fit-to-be-in-a-position-of-power-on-this-board/354845/248 "2006-05-03T11:05:23Z")

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I find it absolutely hiliarious that people are actually blaming me for the existence of this thread or the continued discussion of this issue. My first post in this thread was about T-shirts and skins, and my most recent ones have been jabs at **Left Hand of Dorkness** , whose smug pseudo-intellectual attitude reminds moe of the pony-tail wearing guy in the bar in _Good Will Hunting_.

Other than that I asked **LordAshtar** not to read his girlfriend’s motives into my statements, got jumped on by **C K Dexter Haven** after suggesting the T-shirts and skins, and the only person I’ve been really bitchy to is someone who opened fire at me first.

It’s like, oh no, I was mean to someone … who was mean to me … in the Pit! BTW, I stand corrected on **Greathouse** being suspended instead of banned, but I still think it was a crock considering my opinion that the statements ‘There’s much I’d like to promise you.’ and ‘You should be pecker-slapped to death.’ are equally threatening.

> [@](#):
>
> **Lute Skywatcher** said:  
> Meh. Bitching about TPTB is getting to be an annual event with catsix.

I didn’t start this thread, or any of the other ones. If you read the above, you’ll see that I got jumped by someone who proclaimed that he didn’t read the thread and wasn’t going to, and by **Left Hand of Dorkness** who hardly counts as ‘the powers that be’.

So… pretty much, you’re just wrong.

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**Author:** ![Richard\_Pearse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/richard_pearse/32/13144_2.png) [@Richard\_Pearse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Richard_Pearse)\
**Post date:** [May 3, 2006, 12:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tubadiva-is-not-fit-to-be-in-a-position-of-power-on-this-board/354845/249 "2006-05-03T12:31:29Z")

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> [@Garfield226](#):
>
> To enough respect for an answer.
> 
> Do you think my question in the ATMB thread is unfair or disrespectful? MORE unfair or disrespectful than **TubaDiva** ’s original statement/threat/whatever to **catsix**?

I don’t think it is particularly disrespectful. I also thought **TubaDiva** ’s (I can’t write “Jenny” without sounding like Forrest Gump in my head :D) post was out of line, and was quite interested in some clarification.

It has become apparent that there is no clarification on the way. That is where level headed people go “oh well, that was odd, lets move on.” I think the constant harping on about it that you’re doing is where you begin to lose respect. I think you need to convince yourself that you will not get any clarification or apology. Once you have accepted this, you then need to ask yourself what else can be gained by this thread.

In my opinion, if this Pit thread had been started with a more moderate tone from you, some of the people who are standing against you here, would be standing with you (me, for one.)

**Catsix** is getting some unfair criticism here. Although she has participated in this thread and others, she certainly hasn’t been a driving force.

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**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\
**Post date:** [May 3, 2006, 12:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tubadiva-is-not-fit-to-be-in-a-position-of-power-on-this-board/354845/250 "2006-05-03T12:33:01Z")

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IMHO, the SDMB is the best Moderated Board on the Web.

**TubaDiva** is a big part of that.  
Nuff said.

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**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\
**Post date:** [May 3, 2006, 12:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tubadiva-is-not-fit-to-be-in-a-position-of-power-on-this-board/354845/251 "2006-05-03T12:34:32Z")

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> [@catsix](#):
>
> If you read the above, you’ll see that I got jumped by someone who proclaimed that he didn’t read the thread and wasn’t going to, and by **Left Hand of Dorkness**

Since **Tubadiva’s** not around, allow me to pick up the slack, and call you [a big fat](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=7355481&postcount=184) [liar](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=7355542&postcount=185).

Daniel

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Garfield226](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Garfield226](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Garfield226)\
**Post date:** [May 3, 2006, 12:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tubadiva-is-not-fit-to-be-in-a-position-of-power-on-this-board/354845/252 "2006-05-03T12:35:11Z")

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> [@1920s Style "Death Ray"](#):
>
> I don’t think it is particularly disrespectful. I also thought **TubaDiva** ’s (I can’t write “Jenny” without sounding like Forrest Gump in my head :D) post was out of line, and was quite interested in some clarification.
> 
> …
> 
> In my opinion, if this Pit thread had been started with a more moderate tone from you, some of the people who are standing against you here, would be standing with you (me, for one.)

How does my tone change whether or not **TubaDiva** is in the wrong?

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**Author:** ![Revenant\_Threshold](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f1d935/32.png) [@Revenant\_Threshold](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revenant_Threshold)\
**Post date:** [May 3, 2006, 12:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tubadiva-is-not-fit-to-be-in-a-position-of-power-on-this-board/354845/253 "2006-05-03T12:38:33Z")

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> [@Bosda Di'Chi of Tricor](#):
>
> IMHO, the SDMB is the best Moderated Board on the Web.
> 
> **TubaDiva** is a big part of that.

I concur.

Doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try to improve it, of course.

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![catsix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e19b73/32.png) [@catsix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/catsix)\
**Post date:** [May 3, 2006, 12:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tubadiva-is-not-fit-to-be-in-a-position-of-power-on-this-board/354845/254 "2006-05-03T12:41:19Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> **Left Hand of Dorkness** said:  
> Since Tubadiva’s not around, allow me to pick up the slack, and call you a big fat liar.
> 
> Daniel

Yep, I called you on it. Nope, I wasn’t touchy-feely about it. Touchy-feely doesn’t suit me.

You did consider a suggestion that you be pecker-slapped to be an actual threat of physical harm, and an unclarified statement of promises toward me to be definitely not a threat of physical harm.

I very bluntly suggested that your judgment about what people mean when they make statements is not exactly the infallible benchmark that you seemed to be suggesting it is.

In other words, based on your previous assessment of the pecker-slapping comment, I think there’s no reason to consider you the authority on what the promises statement meant, which you seemed to think you are.

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**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\
**Post date:** [May 3, 2006, 12:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tubadiva-is-not-fit-to-be-in-a-position-of-power-on-this-board/354845/255 "2006-05-03T12:48:14Z")

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> [@Muffin](#):
>
> One way to earn respect is to treat others with respect…

Oh _do_ please shut the fuck up, you sanctimonious little twit. Did you pull that from “Chicken Soup For The Retarded Soul?” Open your own thread about respect and drool your cliches there. Take **Left Hand of Dorkness** with you. You two can trade touchy-feely bromides and have a fine old time wallowing in your perceived moral superiority.

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**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\
**Post date:** [May 3, 2006, 12:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tubadiva-is-not-fit-to-be-in-a-position-of-power-on-this-board/354845/256 "2006-05-03T12:49:49Z")

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> [@catsix](#):
>
> Yep, I called you on it. Nope, I wasn’t touchy-feely about it. Touchy-feely doesn’t suit me.
> 
> You did consider a suggestion that you be pecker-slapped to be an actual threat of physical harm, and an unclarified statement of promises toward me to be definitely not a threat of physical harm.
> 
> I very bluntly suggested that your judgment about what people mean when they make statements is not exactly the infallible benchmark that you seemed to be suggesting it is.
> 
> In other words, based on your previous assessment of the pecker-slapping comment, I think there’s no reason to consider you the authority on what the promises statement meant, which you seemed to think you are.

Daniel is, however, the reigning authority on ass-kissing, apple polishing, and therapizing. Be sure to render him the respect he deserves for that. I know that I always do.

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![catsix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e19b73/32.png) [@catsix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/catsix)\
**Post date:** [May 3, 2006, 12:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tubadiva-is-not-fit-to-be-in-a-position-of-power-on-this-board/354845/257 "2006-05-03T12:51:59Z")

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Yes, yes **Scumpup**.

Order me another Penn Weizen and let’s make that toast. 🙂

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**Author:** ![Richard\_Pearse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/richard_pearse/32/13144_2.png) [@Richard\_Pearse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Richard_Pearse)\
**Post date:** [May 3, 2006, 12:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tubadiva-is-not-fit-to-be-in-a-position-of-power-on-this-board/354845/258 "2006-05-03T12:55:26Z")

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> [@Garfield226](#):
>
> How does my tone change whether or not **TubaDiva** is in the wrong?

It doesn’t. Your tone in the ATMB thread seemed ok. Your tone from the beginning of this thread has been counterproductive, that is all.

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Garfield226](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Garfield226](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Garfield226)\
**Post date:** [May 3, 2006, 1:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tubadiva-is-not-fit-to-be-in-a-position-of-power-on-this-board/354845/259 "2006-05-03T13:02:41Z")

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> [@Fish](#):
>
> I’m not sure I get this “wall of silence” thing, **Garfield.** You had already whipped yourself into a righteous Pitting froth before 24 hours had even gone by. On a weekend.
> 
> When any real length of time had passed, you were well past froth and into frappé. Why would anybody in their right minds step into the lion’s den, just because you … and yes, I fear a _Star Trek_ quote is appropriate:  
> …because you couldn’t wait even 21 hours for an answer? Do you expect other people are on this board 24/7?
> 
> My suggestion is that you go away and relax. Take a break from the boards. Get some perspective: you do not live here at a keyboard, and neither do we. (Well, maybe **Guinistasia** does. :D)
> 
> I’ve seen this kind of nervous tension only on fanboy boards like Neverwinter Nights 2, or Elder Scrolls: Oblivion, or City of Heroes, where if someone’s post hasn’t been answered in full within 30 minutes, with charts and graphs, by a designated board representative with full authorities, that those fanboy posters whine and kick their feet and claim they’re being “ignored.”
> 
> I figured Dopers were above this. But you couldn’t wait a reasonable amount of time before trying to frenzy the sharks in the Pit. I just don’t get it.

I’m not sure where you’re getting your timeline from. The first ATMB thread was started April 22. The first pit thread was started two days later. The second ATMB thread was started three days after that, which is when I directly asked **Tuba** to clarify. This thread was started three days after that. So, three days passed between the time I asked the question and started this thread.

Not to mention the facts that this thread would never have been started had the ATMB thread not been shut down, and that the whole kerfluffle wouldn’t have even gotten off the ground had **TubaDiva** answered the question when it was asked in the first place (and don’t tell me it was a matter of her not being on the boards – she posted to the ATMB thread an hour and fifteen minutes after I asked her the question).

Three days isn’t a reasonable amount of time, or what am I missing?

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**Author:** ![CandidGamera](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/candidgamera/32/2878_2.png) [@CandidGamera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CandidGamera)\
**Post date:** [May 3, 2006, 1:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tubadiva-is-not-fit-to-be-in-a-position-of-power-on-this-board/354845/260 "2006-05-03T13:12:55Z")

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This is meant as a general comment, and has nothing to do with TubaDiva directly.

It has seemed to me that in my time on this boards the moderators have grown increasingly belligerent as a group. I don’t direct this at any specific Mods, mainly because I’m too lazy to look up specific posts to cite, but the overall tone has been degenerating to “Shut up and do as we say, stop bothering us. If you don’t like it, leave.”

That’s not really a productive mode. I’d like to see a little more moderation in the moderation. Of course, it may be that some folks have had personal pressures stressing them out, and that has increased the level of venom that they inject into their duties… but take a vacation, or something. Don’t take it out on the general populace.

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