# Tuckerfan, you dog hating bastard. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 27, 2005, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tuckerfan-you-dog-hating-bastard/314465 "2005-07-27T20:56:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![An\_Arky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/87869e/32.png) [@An\_Arky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/An_Arky)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2005, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tuckerfan-you-dog-hating-bastard/314465/21 "2005-07-27T23:21:22Z")
OK, my memory may be fuzzy on this, if not wrong, but I seem to remember a picture of a crowd gathered below a building where a suicide jumper was, and a photo taken just after the moment of impact show a couple of people in the crowd laughing? Like an accidental response? I’m a dog lover, but the _idea_ of a dog getting quilled is funny, and it was funny for about a second but then I didn’t like looking at the picture and felt sorry for the dog. ---
**Author:** ![Nic2004](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/4491bb/32.png) [@Nic2004](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nic2004)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2005, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tuckerfan-you-dog-hating-bastard/314465/22 "2005-07-27T23:33:42Z")
I believe it is just acupuncture. Maybe he’s trying to quit smoking…or trying to give up porcupines. Just a thought. ---
**Author:** ![Nic2004](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/4491bb/32.png) [@Nic2004](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nic2004)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2005, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tuckerfan-you-dog-hating-bastard/314465/23 "2005-07-27T23:36:04Z")
Oh, I forgot to say: **Tuckerfan** , again in the Pit!! And so soon! I’m proud of you. Keep up the good work! ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2005, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tuckerfan-you-dog-hating-bastard/314465/24 "2005-07-27T23:53:28Z")
I’m pretty sure that dog is going to give up on porcupines. But seriously. Fuck the dog, man. It was moronic enough to get a snout full of quills, and keep going back. By all rights, it ought to be dead now. If this were a human, he’d be up for a near-Darwin Award. ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2005, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tuckerfan-you-dog-hating-bastard/314465/25 "2005-07-27T23:56:26Z")
In the other thread I find the idea that the dog was stupid enough to repeatedly attack a porcupine funny, especially since we know the dog didn’t end up permanently injured. None the less the picture made me just think “poor dog, that must have hurt”. I laugh at many Darwin awards, but I wouldn’t laugh if they included images or graphic descriptions of what the award winner sufferred. Simply stupidity is often funny, but pain rarely if ever is. ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2005, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tuckerfan-you-dog-hating-bastard/314465/26 "2005-07-27T23:59:16Z")
> [@Metacom](#): > > I say, when life gives you a face full of quills, make quill juice! Okay, now **that** was funny. ---
**Author:** ![Uvula\_Donor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/e19adc/32.png) [@Uvula\_Donor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uvula_Donor)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2005, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tuckerfan-you-dog-hating-bastard/314465/27 "2005-07-28T00:22:55Z")
Who are you calling a “whorehouse flower,” goddammit?? 😃 Fuck it, I \*still \*don’t think the pics were funny, but I never bitched at Tuckerfan for thinking so. I had a yellow lab that _never learned_ that ya don’t go after a porky. He got a faceful of quills on two separate occasions. ---
**Author:** ![MadderMitch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8e7dd6/32.png) [@MadderMitch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MadderMitch)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2005, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tuckerfan-you-dog-hating-bastard/314465/28 "2005-07-28T00:35:46Z")
Are you people joking? This satire was rubbish!!! Look I’m no dog lover and I don’t really care two hoots about the subject matter, but this was possibly the most unfunniest satire I’ve heard since when my brother tried to wrestle a can of olives from our cat. And even that was funnier (to be honest). Shame on you, **Binary** for having wasted twenty five seconds of my precious time on this tripe. ---
**Author:** ![uglybeech](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/82dd89/32.png) [@uglybeech](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/uglybeech)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2005, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tuckerfan-you-dog-hating-bastard/314465/29 "2005-07-28T00:42:13Z")
Oh bullshit all of you. I had a relative who used to whoop with laughter whenever anyone tripped, fell, or otherwise hurt themselves. This did not come off as a bold or irreverant. He basically just looked like a guy with a toddler’s sense of humor who thought pain and humiliation were hilarious. Forcing everyone to try and shut him the fuck up because it was uncomfortable and disturbing. IMHO that thread was exactly the same dynamic playing out. People, as the horror goes up the humor is supposed to go down. You all look to me like Bart and Lisa laughing at Itchy and Scratchy. ---
**Author:** ![Pedro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/919ad9/32.png) [@Pedro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pedro)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2005, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tuckerfan-you-dog-hating-bastard/314465/30 "2005-07-28T00:55:04Z")
The picture is funny because it’s so over the top. I’m a dog lover but I have to wonder how these precious sensibilities would run if people were laughing at little Sally the quill-less porcupine being mauled by a vicious dog. It’s forced but same thing really. Hopefully the “poor dog” learned that that’s why you don’t fuck around with a porcupine. ---
**Author:** ![Binarydrone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3da27b/32.png) [@Binarydrone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Binarydrone)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2005, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tuckerfan-you-dog-hating-bastard/314465/31 "2005-07-28T01:11:14Z")
> [@uglybeech](#): > > Oh bullshit all of you. … But what about the poor porcupine? Where’s the outrage and compassion for it? What if, because some stupid bastard decided to keep a half-domesticated predator as a pet that poor porcupine died because its quill arsenal had been depleted? And what about the poor owner of that dog? Poor bastard probably had a hell of a vet bill. What if because of that vet bill he had to delay getting braces for his daughter and then she couldn’t get a date to the prom and that rejection dooms her to a life of spinsterhood? Huh? Where is your compassion? P.S. Itchy and Scratchy is fucking hilarious. P.P.S. Life, itself, is pretty gory and rude to us. If you can’t laugh, you either cry or wind up as a permanently offended MPSIMS poster. ---
**Author:** ![SteveG1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@SteveG1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SteveG1)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2005, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tuckerfan-you-dog-hating-bastard/314465/32 "2005-07-28T01:16:04Z")
> [@DiosaBellissima](#): > > That isn’t a pit, that is a bull terrier. > > Or is there some difference I’m not aware of? ← most likely option. Bull terriers have longer snouts. Think Spuds McKensie. Pits look more like the classic junkyard dog or the “tough guy” dog in old cartoons. Picture the dog in the old Little Rascals films. ---
**Author:** ![uglybeech](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/82dd89/32.png) [@uglybeech](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/uglybeech)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2005, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tuckerfan-you-dog-hating-bastard/314465/33 "2005-07-28T01:17:07Z")
> [@Binarydrone](#): > > But what about the poor porcupine? Where’s the outrage and compassion for it? What if, because some stupid bastard decided to keep a half-domesticated predator as a pet that poor porcupine died because its quill arsenal had been depleted? And what about the poor owner of that dog? Poor bastard probably had a hell of a vet bill. What if because of that vet bill he had to delay getting braces for his daughter and then she couldn’t get a date to the prom and that rejection dooms her to a life of spinsterhood? Huh? Where is your compassion? I’m sorry was any of this in response to anything I said? All I’m talking about is the dorkiness of schadenfreude. > [@](#): > > P.S. Itchy and Scratchy is fucking hilarious. No it’s not. That’s the joke. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2005, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tuckerfan-you-dog-hating-bastard/314465/34 "2005-07-28T01:31:02Z")
> [@uglybeech](#): > > I’m sorry was any of this in response to anything I said? All I’m talking about is the dorkiness of schadenfreude. > > No it’s not. That’s the joke. Okay, I can understand not thinking the picture of the dog was funny. But not thinking Itchy and Scratchy are funny? Dude, there’s just something _wrong_ with you. ---
**Author:** ![uglybeech](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/82dd89/32.png) [@uglybeech](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/uglybeech)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2005, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tuckerfan-you-dog-hating-bastard/314465/35 "2005-07-28T01:35:39Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > Okay, I can understand not thinking the picture of the dog was funny. But not thinking Itchy and Scratchy are funny? Dude, there’s just something _wrong_ with you. They’re funny because they’re not funny. I’m sorry but if you don’t get the writers’ joke already get that I can’t explain it any more to you. ---
**Author:** ![uglybeech](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/82dd89/32.png) [@uglybeech](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/uglybeech)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2005, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tuckerfan-you-dog-hating-bastard/314465/36 "2005-07-28T01:37:05Z")
scratch the extra “get that” in my last sentence ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2005, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tuckerfan-you-dog-hating-bastard/314465/37 "2005-07-28T02:01:08Z")
Of course Itchy and Scratchy are supposed to be funny! They’re direct parodies of the old WB shorts. They’re Roadrunner cartoons with blood. You can argue against thier success if you want, humor being relative and all, but to argue against their _intent_ is simply insupportable. Incidentally, do a search for “Itchy and Scratchy.” For a cartoon that’s “not supposed to be funny,” there are a surprising number of fansites dedicated to them. ---
**Author:** ![Binarydrone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3da27b/32.png) [@Binarydrone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Binarydrone)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2005, 3:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tuckerfan-you-dog-hating-bastard/314465/38 "2005-07-28T03:07:51Z")
{{{{{{uglybeech & Posters that got lost on the way to MPSIMS}}}}}} :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Uvula\_Donor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/e19adc/32.png) [@Uvula\_Donor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uvula_Donor)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2005, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tuckerfan-you-dog-hating-bastard/314465/39 "2005-07-28T03:12:29Z")
Rainbow huggies make me have to take a dump. Cut it out. ---
**Author:** ![Kiros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/439d5e/32.png) [@Kiros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kiros)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2005, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tuckerfan-you-dog-hating-bastard/314465/40 "2005-07-28T03:16:08Z")
Wait… out of the two following options: A) Itchy and Scratchy are a over-the-top parody of children’s cartoon shorts, intended to amuse via their ridiculous antics and massively unrealistic devastation upon the bodies of the title characters; and, B) Itchy and Scratchy is a high-intellectual commentary on violence in nature, cartoons, television, and life in general, and intends to amuse through the knowledge of the enlightened viewer than such antics as the title character provides are… not funny, but rather something else altogether, even though everyone laughs at them anyways, someone is choosing option B? I need someone to clarify that line of reasoning for me, I think. /end hijack The picture in the thread linked in the OP was mildly amusing. Some of the reactions were a little over the top IMO, but the people most likely to click on that sort of thread are the people least likely to say “Heh, that stupid dog just doesn’t get the idea of ‘stop’” and most likely to be protective of said dog. Mean and uncaring bastards like myself might well have never clicked on **Tuckerfan’s** OP in the first place. This thread, both the OP and what has followed, has topped its source material by far 😃 P.S. If they had pictures of Darwin Awards stuff, I might giggle a little, but probably not - that’s just crude. If they filmed some of those low budget, old school “recreations” complete with over-acting? Potential to be fucking **hilarious**. Let’s do it. Now. I want to see stylized renditions of stupid people moving towards the nearest exit of the gene pool. Please. You can’t tell me it wouldn’t beat ninety percent of the movies that come out. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tuckerfan-you-dog-hating-bastard/314465.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tuckerfan-you-dog-hating-bastard/314465.md?page=3)