# Tuesday fun. Rewrite this headline please. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 3, 2013, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tuesday-fun-rewrite-this-headline-please/667913 "2013-09-03T19:15:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Morgenstern](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Morgenstern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgenstern)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2013, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tuesday-fun-rewrite-this-headline-please/667913/1 "2013-09-03T19:15:34Z")
I found the headline in the linked story to be in dire need of some Doper’s wit and humor. Please rewrite the headline. > **[Reflected light from London skyscraper melts car | CNN](https://www.cnn.com/2013/09/03/world/europe/uk-london-building-melts-car/)** > > A ray of light reflected by the “Walkie Talkie” building in London has melted parts of a Jaguar XJ car parked in a nearby street. I’ll post one later. ---
**Author:** ![Amateur\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/59ef9b/32.png) [@Amateur\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amateur_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2013, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tuesday-fun-rewrite-this-headline-please/667913/2 "2013-09-03T19:18:46Z")
**Jaguar Melts in Urban Jungle** (First word must of course be pronounced in that annoying three-syllable mode.) ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2013, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tuesday-fun-rewrite-this-headline-please/667913/3 "2013-09-03T19:25:16Z")
**Jaguar Melts. Not It’s Fault.** ---
**Author:** ![Duckster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/duckster/32/1244_2.png) [@Duckster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duckster)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2013, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tuesday-fun-rewrite-this-headline-please/667913/4 "2013-09-03T19:28:37Z")
**Upon Reflection I now own a Puddle Jumper and not a Jaguar** ---
**Author:** ![Simmerdown](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/simmerdown/32/14859_2.png) [@Simmerdown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Simmerdown)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2013, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tuesday-fun-rewrite-this-headline-please/667913/5 "2013-09-03T19:31:19Z")
1920s Style Death Ray Revealed as Genuine: [**Richard Pearse** Changing User Name Back.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=554954) ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2013, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tuesday-fun-rewrite-this-headline-please/667913/6 "2013-09-03T19:32:16Z")
**Menacing Mirrored Monolith Melts Master Motorcar** ---
**Author:** ![swampspruce](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampspruce/32/261_2.png) [@swampspruce](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampspruce)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2013, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tuesday-fun-rewrite-this-headline-please/667913/7 "2013-09-03T19:49:15Z")
Edifice converts XJ to ex Jag ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2013, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tuesday-fun-rewrite-this-headline-please/667913/8 "2013-09-03T19:54:47Z")
“Hot Car” Redefined ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2013, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tuesday-fun-rewrite-this-headline-please/667913/9 "2013-09-03T19:55:37Z")
News of the World: Bent Erection Wrecks Car! ---
**Author:** ![si\_blakely](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d9b06d/32.png) [@si\_blakely](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/si_blakely)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2013, 1:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tuesday-fun-rewrite-this-headline-please/667913/10 "2013-09-04T13:22:00Z")
In additional news … **Burnished Building Burns Barber, Bikes** [link](http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2409710/Walkie-Talkie-building-melting-bicycles-Light-reflected-construction-City-skyscraper-scorches-seat.html) ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2013, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tuesday-fun-rewrite-this-headline-please/667913/11 "2013-09-04T13:30:21Z")
Archimedes Makes Jag Off ---
**Author:** ![Zeke\_N.Destroi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/4af34b/32.png) [@Zeke\_N.Destroi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeke_N.Destroi)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2013, 1:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tuesday-fun-rewrite-this-headline-please/667913/12 "2013-09-04T13:46:48Z")
God To Mythbusters, “Fuck You.” Archimedes Pleased. ---
**Author:** ![si\_blakely](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d9b06d/32.png) [@si\_blakely](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/si_blakely)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2013, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tuesday-fun-rewrite-this-headline-please/667913/13 "2013-09-04T14:29:40Z")
In the _Motoring Times_: **Jag vs Focus: Big Cat Slumps** ---
**Author:** ![si\_blakely](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d9b06d/32.png) [@si\_blakely](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/si_blakely)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2013, 7:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tuesday-fun-rewrite-this-headline-please/667913/14 "2013-09-05T07:38:43Z")
I’m still waiting for **Morgenstern** to come back, but I have more: maybe I should have been a tabloid copywriter (or maybe I have way too much time on my hands). **Super-fracted photons hit it: motorcar is toasted** and this one was so obvious I am surprised I get to do it **Melted Motor Mystery:** _It was the Sun what done it_ ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2013, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tuesday-fun-rewrite-this-headline-please/667913/15 "2013-09-05T15:27:26Z")
(news crawl) OBAMA SUNGATE: WILL IT HURT DEMS IN 2016? ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2013, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tuesday-fun-rewrite-this-headline-please/667913/16 "2013-09-05T15:55:53Z")
> [@VinylTurnip](#): > > (news crawl) > > OBAMA SUNGATE: WILL IT HURT DEMS IN 2016? (Golf clap.) ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2013, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tuesday-fun-rewrite-this-headline-please/667913/17 "2013-09-06T20:19:05Z")
Jaguar Owner: My Love is Gushing! Strike the Sun! ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2013, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tuesday-fun-rewrite-this-headline-please/667913/18 "2013-09-06T20:36:47Z")
Mad Mag Slags Jag