# Tumor burgers? **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [June 4, 2019, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tumor-burgers/835029 "2019-06-04T18:14:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2019, 1:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tumor-burgers/835029/21 "2019-06-05T13:00:33Z")
Getting back into this reluctantly… > [@Tim\_T-Bonham.net](#): > > Oh, be realistic! > The idea that tumors could ever be price-competitive with ground beef is, at best, ‘visionary’. Who said Tumor Treats™ had to be a mass-market thing? They could be a specialty product, like truffles or caviar. _"Tumor Treats™ are not only magically delicious, but may “beef” up your immune system to prevent cancer! Protect your health with yummy Tumor Treats™!!_"\* \*This statement was not evaluated by the FDA. This product is not intended to prevent, treat or cure any disease, but since you are very gullible and can read between the lines, yes it is. Save yourself now. ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2019, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tumor-burgers/835029/22 "2019-06-05T14:36:28Z")
> [@Jackmannii](#): > > ostensible humans :eek: ---
**Author:** ![DesertDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/desertdog/32/11503_2.png) [@DesertDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DesertDog)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2019, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tumor-burgers/835029/23 "2019-06-05T14:50:33Z")
> [@Jackmannii](#): > > Getting back into this reluctantly…Who said Tumor Treats™ had to be a mass-market thing? They could be a specialty product, like truffles or caviar. Kind of reminds me of [_King Rat_](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/King_Rat_(Clavell_novel)) where in a Japanese POW camp, rat haunches are served up – but only to officers – by enlisted men. ---
**Author:** ![puddleglum](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puddleglum/32/137_2.png) [@puddleglum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puddleglum)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2019, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tumor-burgers/835029/24 "2019-06-05T14:53:54Z")
> [@Sage\_Rat](#): > > We’ve convinced them to eat sparrow saliva, cartilage, and intestines. It’s just the fine difference between “waste” and “fine gourmet”. Who does the “we” in the first sentence refer to? ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2019, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tumor-burgers/835029/25 "2019-06-05T14:55:59Z")
Soylent Black is CANCER!!! ---
**Author:** ![Si\_Amigo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/si_amigo/32/2877_2.png) [@Si\_Amigo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Si_Amigo)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2019, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tumor-burgers/835029/26 "2019-06-05T16:58:03Z")
> [@running\_coach](#): > > They taste odd at first but it grows on you. I needed that today, thanks! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![tricoteuse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tricoteuse/32/4334_2.png) [@tricoteuse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tricoteuse)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2019, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tumor-burgers/835029/27 "2019-06-05T17:14:09Z")
I think the OP is a shill for the beef industry, trying to make people feel better about pink slime! ---
**Author:** ![tricoteuse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tricoteuse/32/4334_2.png) [@tricoteuse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tricoteuse)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2019, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tumor-burgers/835029/28 "2019-06-05T17:20:40Z")
> [@Sage\_Rat](#): > > We’ve convinced them to eat sparrow saliva, cartilage, and intestines. It’s just the fine difference between “waste” and “fine gourmet”. Now I’m wondering why placentas from cows, sheep etc never caught on as gourmet food. It at least looks kind of like meat and the advertising writes itself. Placenta! The Meat Of Life! I think I will skip dinner tonight. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2019, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tumor-burgers/835029/29 "2019-06-05T18:10:12Z")
It’s people! ---
**Author:** ![Ashtura](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ashtura/32/2963_2.png) [@Ashtura](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ashtura)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2019, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tumor-burgers/835029/30 "2019-06-05T18:22:58Z")
I’m sure this is a joke post, but are we forgetting that cannibalism is a major taboo pretty much everywhere? I would think that would be have to overcome first. You might as well ask why we don’t cook up the freshly deceased. ---
**Author:** ![Go\_Arachnid\_Laser\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b2d939/32.png) [@Go\_Arachnid\_Laser\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Go_Arachnid_Laser_1)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2019, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tumor-burgers/835029/31 "2019-06-05T18:36:33Z")
We need a catchy name for the restaurants serving Tumor Burgers. How about… MacLignant? ---
**Author:** ![Marine\_One](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/marine_one/32/3461_2.png) [@Marine\_One](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marine_One)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2019, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tumor-burgers/835029/32 "2019-06-05T18:39:16Z")
The ads for this would have Arnold Schwarzenegger saying: “It’s NOT a toomah?” “It IS a toomah!!” “And it’s fantastic!!” ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2019, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tumor-burgers/835029/33 "2019-06-05T18:52:50Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > Is this a whoosh? Or do you really think you could convince people to eat cancer tumors? > [@Jackmannii](#): > > Leiomyomas are _benign_ tumors, plus they’re firm and meaty. I’m working with the Jimmy Dean people right now on a line of myoma sausages and morning biscuit treats with yummy cheese and egg. > > I really, really should have been a con man. Apparently everything I say is believable no matter how ridiculous. 🙂 Heh. > [@Jenny McCarthy](#): > > What does he mean _should have_? N.B. The above is an allusion to the fact that **Jackmanni** is a pediatrician, one who counsels parents to vaccinate their children, while Jenny McCarthy is an antivaxxer. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2019, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tumor-burgers/835029/34 "2019-06-05T18:58:53Z")
> [@Tim\_T-Bonham.net](#): > > Oh, be realistic! > The idea that tumors could ever be price-competitive with ground beef is, at best, ‘visionary’. > > McDonald’s alone sells 75 burgers per second. They use about 4 ounces of meat each. (Quarter-pounder patties are 4 ounces, regular ones are under 2 ounces, but most items use 2 patties.) So McDonald’s uses 18.75 pounds of beef per second! > > Now a stage-3 breast cancer tumor is only 1/2 to 3/4 of an ounce typically. So you would need 6-8 breast cancer patients to provide enough meat for 1 McDonald’s burger. So 450-600 patients per second, just to supply McDonald’s. All the breast cancer tumors removed in a year wouldn’t supply McDonald’s for more than 3 weeks. Without even getting into the costs involved. You’re ignoring the fact that the proposal doesn’t call for the tumors to be harvested directly into a McDonald’s kitchen, but collected, and placed into meat-growing vats. But cost would still be an issue, particularly in the USA, where an uninsured patient is on the hook for $10,000 - $20,000 for a lumpectomy. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2019, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tumor-burgers/835029/35 "2019-06-05T19:01:46Z")
> [@tricoteuse](#): > > Now I’m wondering why placentas from cows, sheep etc never caught on as gourmet food. It at least looks kind of like meat and the advertising writes itself. Placenta! The Meat Of Life! I may be mistaken, but I thought the salon shampoo industry had already called dibs on all the livestock placentas. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2019, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tumor-burgers/835029/36 "2019-06-05T19:42:15Z")
> [@kaylasdad99](#): > > N.B. The above is an allusion to the fact that **Jackmanni** is a pediatrician, one who counsels parents to vaccinate their children A pathologist, actually. I’ve examined/handled/processed thousands of tumors over the years. None of them impressed me as potential meal items, but we live in strange times. ---
**Author:** ![naita](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/naita/32/5862_2.png) [@naita](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/naita)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2019, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tumor-burgers/835029/37 "2019-06-05T20:57:01Z")
> [@Sage\_Rat](#): > > We’ve convinced them to eat sparrow saliva, cartilage, and intestines. It’s just the fine difference between “waste” and “fine gourmet”. Swallow saliva. ---
**Author:** ![Folly](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/folly/32/3219_2.png) [@Folly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Folly)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2019, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tumor-burgers/835029/38 "2019-06-05T21:02:55Z")
> [@Go\_Arachnid\_Laser](#): > > We need a catchy name for the restaurants serving Tumor Burgers. How about… MacLignant? We had MacLignant last night. Let’s go to Benignhanas. ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2019, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tumor-burgers/835029/39 "2019-06-05T21:10:46Z")
To give something vaguely like a factual answer – the cause of most tumors isn’t well understood. But at least some are triggered by a virus. And there’s at least one tumor (of tasmanian devils, iirc) that is contagious all by itself, because it doesn’t trigger much of an immune response in the animal, and if it gets into a new devil, it grows there. So it seems like it would be medically unwise to eat tumors. Placentas aren’t that dangerous, but are chock-a-block full of hormones, and it’s probably not terrific to eat a lot of those, either. Although, I suppose if people can eat rocky mountain oysters, they can eat placentas. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2019, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tumor-burgers/835029/40 "2019-06-05T21:20:41Z")
> [@naita](#): > > Swallow saliva. I swallow saliva all the time. It’s not very filling. Got any recipes? 😉 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tumor-burgers/835029.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tumor-burgers/835029.md?page=3)