# TurKEY SHIT MOLE DUMPLING RICE cell phone DUMBDUMBDUMB! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [February 27, 2003, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/turkey-shit-mole-dumpling-rice-cell-phone-dumbdumbdumb/157975 "2003-02-27T20:54:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![glarGH](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/76d3ee/32.png) [@glarGH](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glarGH)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2003, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/turkey-shit-mole-dumpling-rice-cell-phone-dumbdumbdumb/157975/1 "2003-02-27T20:54:31Z")
YOu hang out with the stupidest shitrolled idiot dognut lickers I have ever met because they hang out with your hippy TOADLUMP ass. These people are delinquents, children, delinquent children and sspacey fucks who got hit in the head by a surfboard too many times and are suffering the brain damaging effects of DARE I SAY IT?? BEING FUCKING SENSELESS, DIRECTIONLESS TURDS who have nothing better to do than “roll” with their entourages of gaping faketan polesmoke fakesurfrealhookers in high school with five varieties of festering ghonorrea. I WILL TAKE EACH AND EVERY ONE OF THEM AND GRIND THEM INTO THE JAGGED LAVAROCK OF MY LOATHING. I WILL GOUGE OUT THEIR EYES WITH A 1970’s LETTER OPENER AND MAKE THEIR MASACARA RUN BECAUSE THEY ARE SHITTY SHITTY GIRL WHORES AND SHITTY SHITTY MAN WHORES. I DON’T LIKE THEM. In fact, . . . I HATE YOUR FRIENDS BECAUSE THEY ARE FUCKING STUPID AND I HOPE TO STOMP ON THEM UNTIL THEIR INTERNAL ORGANS RUPTURE AND OOZE OUT THEIR COW FUCKED RECTUMS. ---
**Author:** ![bernse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a9a28c/32.png) [@bernse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bernse)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2003, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/turkey-shit-mole-dumpling-rice-cell-phone-dumbdumbdumb/157975/2 "2003-02-27T21:00:16Z")
Ace of Base? ---
**Author:** ![Buck\_The\_Diver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Buck\_The\_Diver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Buck_The_Diver)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2003, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/turkey-shit-mole-dumpling-rice-cell-phone-dumbdumbdumb/157975/3 "2003-02-27T21:07:15Z")
_Yawn_ Another “I Hate The Mods” thread… ---
**Author:** ![Legomancer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/779978/32.png) [@Legomancer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Legomancer)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2003, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/turkey-shit-mole-dumpling-rice-cell-phone-dumbdumbdumb/157975/4 "2003-02-27T21:18:19Z")
Next Week on Tourette’s Playhouse… ---
**Author:** ![Tars\_Tarkas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Tars\_Tarkas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tars_Tarkas)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2003, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/turkey-shit-mole-dumpling-rice-cell-phone-dumbdumbdumb/157975/5 "2003-02-27T21:19:54Z")
i agree with the OP ---
**Author:** ![Moon-Watcher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/49beb7/32.png) [@Moon-Watcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moon-Watcher)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2003, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/turkey-shit-mole-dumpling-rice-cell-phone-dumbdumbdumb/157975/6 "2003-02-27T21:26:07Z")
> [@](#): > > I WILL TAKE EACH AND EVERY ONE OF THEM AND GRIND THEM INTO THE JAGGED LAVAROCK OF MY LOATHING. This is actually pretty funny. “The Jagged Lavarock of my Loathing” sounds like a good metal song. ---
**Author:** ![Neurotik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/91b2a8/32.png) [@Neurotik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Neurotik)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2003, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/turkey-shit-mole-dumpling-rice-cell-phone-dumbdumbdumb/157975/7 "2003-02-27T21:27:04Z")
I’ve actually had turkey-shit mole-dumpling rice. Not my favorite meal. ---
**Author:** ![Legomancer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/779978/32.png) [@Legomancer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Legomancer)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2003, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/turkey-shit-mole-dumpling-rice-cell-phone-dumbdumbdumb/157975/8 "2003-02-27T21:28:29Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Tars Tarkas \* > \*\*i agree with the OP \*\* I did until this part: “…A 1970’s LETTER OPENER AND MAKE THEIR MASACARA RUN BECAUSE THEY ARE SHITTY SHITTY GIRL WHORES AND SHITTY SHITTY MAN WHORES.” I can’t in good conscience agree with that. It sounds very slippery-slope to me. ---
**Author:** ![blowero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/41988e/32.png) [@blowero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blowero)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2003, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/turkey-shit-mole-dumpling-rice-cell-phone-dumbdumbdumb/157975/9 "2003-02-27T21:44:03Z")
Now we know the answer to that “What if you had 100 monkeys at 100 typewriters?” riddle. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Mad\_Hermit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b5ac83/32.png) [@The\_Mad\_Hermit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Mad_Hermit)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2003, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/turkey-shit-mole-dumpling-rice-cell-phone-dumbdumbdumb/157975/10 "2003-02-27T21:44:42Z")
You gotta admit, **glarGH** writes some of the best thread titles. ---
**Author:** ![World\_Eater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@World\_Eater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/World_Eater)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2003, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/turkey-shit-mole-dumpling-rice-cell-phone-dumbdumbdumb/157975/11 "2003-02-27T21:54:40Z")
How can anyone in sunny Hawaii possibly be that mad? Go to the beach, eat a pig, relax. ---
**Author:** ![drpepper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/8baadc/32.png) [@drpepper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drpepper)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2003, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/turkey-shit-mole-dumpling-rice-cell-phone-dumbdumbdumb/157975/12 "2003-02-27T22:00:59Z")
> [@](#): > > WILL TAKE EACH AND EVERY ONE OF THEM AND GRIND THEM INTO THE JAGGED LAVAROCK OF MY LOATHING. I WILL GOUGE OUT THEIR EYES WITH A 1970’s LETTER OPENER AND MAKE THEIR MASACARA RUN BECAUSE THEY ARE SHITTY SHITTY GIRL WHORES AND SHITTY SHITTY MAN WHORES. I DON’T LIKE THEM. > > In fact, . . . > > I HATE YOUR FRIENDS BECAUSE THEY ARE FUCKING STUPID AND I HOPE TO STOMP ON THEM UNTIL THEIR INTERNAL ORGANS RUPTURE AND OOZE OUT THEIR COW FUCKED RECTUMS. Duuude… don’t sugar coat it, say what you really mean. ---
**Author:** ![Velma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/85e7bf/32.png) [@Velma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velma)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2003, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/turkey-shit-mole-dumpling-rice-cell-phone-dumbdumbdumb/157975/13 "2003-02-27T22:01:29Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Steelerphan \* > \*\*You gotta admit, **glarGH** writes some of the best thread titles. \*\* It was the dumpling that got my attention. ---
**Author:** ![Maeglin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8baadc/32.png) [@Maeglin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maeglin)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2003, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/turkey-shit-mole-dumpling-rice-cell-phone-dumbdumbdumb/157975/14 "2003-02-27T22:03:19Z")
Steamed or fried? ---
**Author:** ![Tony\_Barber\_s\_Underwear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/58f4c7/32.png) [@Tony\_Barber\_s\_Underwear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tony_Barber_s_Underwear)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2003, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/turkey-shit-mole-dumpling-rice-cell-phone-dumbdumbdumb/157975/15 "2003-02-27T22:12:22Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Maeglin \* > \*\*Steamed or fried? \*\* I find that turkey shit mole dumplings with rice are usually best fried. You get such a contrast of textures and flavours - the crunchy outside, the sweet turkey, the chewy mole and the creamy, pungent shit. - Bubba. ---
**Author:** ![Maeglin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8baadc/32.png) [@Maeglin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maeglin)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2003, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/turkey-shit-mole-dumpling-rice-cell-phone-dumbdumbdumb/157975/16 "2003-02-27T22:18:48Z")
I guess if you are concerned about your health, turkey shit mole dumplings really aren’t for you. ---
**Author:** ![Kantalooppi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/a5b964/32.png) [@Kantalooppi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kantalooppi)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2003, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/turkey-shit-mole-dumpling-rice-cell-phone-dumbdumbdumb/157975/17 "2003-02-27T22:21:51Z")
I actually prefer these short bursts of insanity to the long, convoluted rants which concentrate on trying to think up never-been-used-before terms combining profanity with random nouns. Those always look like someone’s spent six hours writing (and spell-checking - rage always needs a spellchecker) it and five hours 40 minutes of the time trying to fake the anger. ---
**Author:** ![World\_Eater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@World\_Eater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/World_Eater)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2003, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/turkey-shit-mole-dumpling-rice-cell-phone-dumbdumbdumb/157975/18 "2003-02-27T22:27:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Kantalooppi \* > \*\*I actually prefer these short bursts of insanity to the long, convoluted rants which concentrate on trying to think up never-been-used-before terms combining profanity with random nouns. Those always look like someone’s spent six hours writing (and spell-checking - rage always needs a spellchecker) it and five hours 40 minutes of the time trying to fake the anger. \*\* I wholeheartedly agree, but he still could have slipped “prehensile” in there somewhere. ---
**Author:** ![Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapioca_Dextrin)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2003, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/turkey-shit-mole-dumpling-rice-cell-phone-dumbdumbdumb/157975/19 "2003-02-27T22:38:49Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by glarGH \* > \*\*COW FUCKED RECTUMS. \*\* Slight nitpick. Shouldn’t that be BULL, not COW 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Greywolf73](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d9b06d/32.png) [@Greywolf73](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Greywolf73)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2003, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/turkey-shit-mole-dumpling-rice-cell-phone-dumbdumbdumb/157975/20 "2003-02-27T22:41:29Z")
Okay…I get the TurKEY SHIT MOLE DUMPLING RICE DUMB DUMB DUMB part. That’s easy enough, but where does the cell phone fit in? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/turkey-shit-mole-dumpling-rice-cell-phone-dumbdumbdumb/157975.md?page=2)