# Turkmenistan 5-0 **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 3, 2004, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/turkmenistan-5-0/258078 "2004-08-03T03:19:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 7\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2004, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/turkmenistan-5-0/258078/1 "2004-08-03T03:19:38Z")
Apparently you now have to take [a _16 hour_ couse](http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=573&ncid=757&e=4&u=/nm/20040802/od_nm/license_dc) on the Sacred Scripture as revealed to the President for Life of Turkmenistan \*to qualify for a driver’s license \*there. [This purports to be a translation of the sacred document,](http://www.rukhnama.com/book/section1.htm) though I cannot attest to its accuracy. I can just hear the conversations: > [@](#): > > Look, Ahmed, it’s the pursuit cruiser of the orthodoxy police. I already have a warning for not knowing the son of Noah to whom the Turkmen lands are given. Floor it! > [@](#): > > Sir, do you have any dangerous religious materials in your car? If I look in that glove compartment, I’m not gonna find a Bible in there, am I? > [@](#): > > Book 'em, Ackbar. Three counts of using a motor vehicle contrary to the teachings of Allah. ---
**Author:** ![Eva\_Luna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e495f1/32.png) [@Eva\_Luna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eva_Luna)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2004, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/turkmenistan-5-0/258078/2 "2004-08-03T03:43:58Z")
The translation link was recommended to me by some Turkmen friends I met a few weeks ago. It’s not the smoothest prose in the world, but they say it brings the meaning across and well, the original ain’t the smoothest prose in the world, either. Should be accurate, in any case. I 'd been thinking of starting a thread on this, but well, what can one say? Turkmenbashi is more than a bit of a wack job. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2004, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/turkmenistan-5-0/258078/3 "2004-08-03T03:54:40Z")
Maybe this is a 1920s Soviet-style copycat of the “what would Jesus drive” eco-christians. ---
**Author:** ![confessorknight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9a140/32.png) [@confessorknight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/confessorknight)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2004, 10:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/turkmenistan-5-0/258078/4 "2004-08-03T10:55:24Z")
Reading the thread title I thought this was about the release of a Nation-State upgrade named Turkmenistan 5.0. ---
**Author:** ![Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapioca_Dextrin)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2004, 11:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/turkmenistan-5-0/258078/5 "2004-08-03T11:17:36Z")
As the only only Doper who’s actually been to Turmenistan (at least AFAIK), I can say without a shadow of a doubt that _any_ kind of studying would improve the local standard of driving. ---
**Author:** ![lemon\_martini2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3be4f8/32.png) [@lemon\_martini2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lemon_martini2)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2004, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/turkmenistan-5-0/258078/6 "2004-08-03T15:02:01Z")
It’s obviously a new Soviet style surf show- Turkmenistan 5-0… Di-di-di-di-di-deeee…di di di di di 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![kittenblue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ba8739/32.png) [@kittenblue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kittenblue)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2004, 4:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/turkmenistan-5-0/258078/7 "2004-08-04T04:12:12Z")
Recently I’ve found my car to be a place of intense prayer and introspection. At least since my surgery. Since I can’t drive yet, my daughter is my chauffeur, and that’s where the praying comes in…she can be a scary driver sometimes! And all that time I spend in the car with her, I try to keep my eyes closed, and think positive thoughts. Of course, she takes the car home with her at night, so I have no idea if she and the fiance are using it in a moral manner or not, but she’s keeping it clean!