# Turn me on, ladies!! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 16, 2001, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/turn-me-on-ladies/54810 "2001-02-16T22:16:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![ChiefScott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58f4c7/32.png) [@ChiefScott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChiefScott)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2001, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/turn-me-on-ladies/54810/1 "2001-02-16T22:16:45Z")
Yes, it’s true! Here’s your chance to turn on a red-blooded American Sailor! Post your overt sexual innuendos, leer, pinch my ass, whatever! Have fun! (God, I’m bored. And stuck on the ship to boot.) ---
**Author:** ![techchick68](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ea5d25/32.png) [@techchick68](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/techchick68)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2001, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/turn-me-on-ladies/54810/2 "2001-02-16T22:27:14Z")
I just got out of the shower, and smoothing lotion on my body, I spritz a soft perfume on in all the right places, I look at you with “those eyes” and say “I’m yours, take me now.” \< grin \> ---
**Author:** ![Silver\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@Silver\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Fire)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2001, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/turn-me-on-ladies/54810/3 "2001-02-16T22:28:08Z")
::pinches your ass:: Do I make you horny, baby? (No, I know. Sorry…) ---
**Author:** ![Eutychus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Eutychus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eutychus)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2001, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/turn-me-on-ladies/54810/4 "2001-02-16T22:36:13Z")
Oh God. First it was the lesbian thread and now I have to watch _this_? ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2001, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/turn-me-on-ladies/54810/5 "2001-02-16T22:36:28Z")
How very sad - I see “Turn me on” and I start wondering where the remote is. I’m thinking back to _my_ Navy days and what it took to turn on a red-blooded American Sailor… I believe it was a woman with a pulse. ---
**Author:** ![techchick68](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ea5d25/32.png) [@techchick68](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/techchick68)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2001, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/turn-me-on-ladies/54810/6 "2001-02-16T22:40:36Z")
Sorry, ChiefScott, that post was meant for Euty. \< giggle \> ---
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2001, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/turn-me-on-ladies/54810/7 "2001-02-16T22:53:06Z")
Well, I just got out of a bubble bath. Had to do that touch up shaving to keep the nether regions all smooth, don’t ya know. Care to make sure I didn’t miss a spot? ---
**Author:** ![andygirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a9adbd/32.png) [@andygirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andygirl)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2001, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/turn-me-on-ladies/54810/8 "2001-02-16T23:00:23Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Eutychus55 \* > \*\*Oh God. > > First it was the lesbian thread and now I have to watch _this_? \*\* 'sfunny… I don’t seem to recall you complaining at the time… ---
**Author:** ![Eutychus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Eutychus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eutychus)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2001, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/turn-me-on-ladies/54810/9 "2001-02-16T23:53:15Z")
Well, I wasn’t _complaining_ per se. But there’s only so much one man can take. But, far be it from me to deny any of our loyal servicemen anything, so live it up! ---
**Author:** ![WickedAngel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f6c823/32.png) [@WickedAngel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WickedAngel)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2001, 12:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/turn-me-on-ladies/54810/10 "2001-02-17T00:07:36Z")
\>slowly feeling every inch of your body\< hmmm that darn ON button is always so hard to find on a guy…😃 ---
**Author:** ![purrplebear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/90ced4/32.png) [@purrplebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purrplebear)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2001, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/turn-me-on-ladies/54810/11 "2001-02-17T01:02:48Z")
\ Slowly saunters up to **Chieffy** in her tight-in-all-the-right places, lots of cleavage showing, dark purple dress and skimpy black high heeled sandals, long blonde hair flowing down to my waist, and grabs him tight and plants a kiss he won’t soon forget right on his lips. Lingeringly pulls away and turns regretfully to walk away, leaving the Chief with a view of her backside swaying as she walks… only to trip on these ridiculously high heels halfway back to her car, falling flat on her tush, hurting her pride. 😛 Oh, well. The story of my life. Doomed to be the comedienne rather than the leading heartthrob. _Sigh_ Oh, and **WickedAngel** , let me give you a tip on finding that…\ 😃 ---
**Author:** ![ChiefScott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58f4c7/32.png) [@ChiefScott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChiefScott)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2001, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/turn-me-on-ladies/54810/12 "2001-02-17T01:22:12Z")
I think the only two words I can use to describe my reaction to a few of those posts are: woo and woo. ---
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2001, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/turn-me-on-ladies/54810/13 "2001-02-17T01:28:14Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ChiefScott \* > \*\*I think the only two words I can use to describe my reaction to a few of those posts are: > > woo and woo. \*\* I for one am much better in email than on ze message board. Better in person, of course, but… ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2001, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/turn-me-on-ladies/54810/14 "2001-02-17T01:38:39Z")
Hey Chief! Look what I brung ya! Here’s a big ol’ steaming hot pot roast, with carrots, ptotoes, and onions. There’s fresh bread (from my breadmaker), real butter, oh, and some beer. I’ve got Sam Adams and Guinness. For dessert, there’s a made-from-scratch chocolate cake. Now here–eat. Eat all you like. There’s plenty more. Don’t worry about me, I’ll just wait over here and watch you eat, and serve you more when you ask. And the remote is all yours tonight. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Girlbysea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Girlbysea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Girlbysea)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2001, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/turn-me-on-ladies/54810/15 "2001-02-17T03:02:33Z")
Slowly sneaks up behind him. Whacks him on his wet butt with a towel. Catch me if you can… ---
**Author:** ![Xploder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/a183cd/32.png) [@Xploder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Xploder)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2001, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/turn-me-on-ladies/54810/16 "2001-02-17T03:44:28Z")
Jeez Persephone! Can I marry you now??? ---
**Author:** ![Girlbysea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Girlbysea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Girlbysea)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2001, 4:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/turn-me-on-ladies/54810/17 "2001-02-17T04:07:45Z")
Hey Persephone…You’re close, but don’t forget his feet… He likes them to be rubbed, while you sit between his legs on the floor watching TV… A few other secrets, I’ll keep to myself… ---
**Author:** ![dublos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f08c70/32.png) [@dublos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dublos)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2001, 4:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/turn-me-on-ladies/54810/18 "2001-02-17T04:16:30Z")
For the most part I overcame my dyslexia by reading, and reading, and some work with a teacher or two early on in my academic career. It’s still there, and leads to some creative reading sometimes. In this case (to get to the point), I read this title as “Turn on Me, ladies!!!” And had an odd mental flash of a mob of SMDB ladies pursuing Chieffy with pirchforks and torches. Glad to see that’s not the case. Since intelligent, literate women, who know how to turn a pretty phrase turn me on, I can have fun in any thread 😉 But this one’s definitely good. -Doug ---
**Author:** ![Fairy\_Princess\_Kitty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/df705f/32.png) [@Fairy\_Princess\_Kitty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fairy_Princess_Kitty)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2001, 4:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/turn-me-on-ladies/54810/19 "2001-02-17T04:27:40Z")
_she walks into the room wearing an enticingly short black skirt and a daringly low cut shirt, swaying her hips enticingly she walks over to ChiefScott and settles herself on his lap_ I need someone very bad, are you very bad? Kitty ---
**Author:** ![Whammo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/8dc957/32.png) [@Whammo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whammo)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2001, 7:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/turn-me-on-ladies/54810/20 "2001-02-17T07:57:09Z")
…ummm… I’m not a lady but I got man-boobs… I’m gripping them now. Hows THAT make ya feel. :D:D:D:D:D [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/turn-me-on-ladies/54810.md?page=2)