# Turning Japanese--I don't get it! **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [May 10, 2002, 4:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/turning-japanese-i-dont-get-it/108233 "2002-05-10T04:36:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2002, 4:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/turning-japanese-i-dont-get-it/108233/1 "2002-05-10T04:36:25Z")
Well, I always thought I had a dirty mind, but I guess it’s not dirty enough. I was watching the “100 Greatest One-Hit Wonders” on VH1. One of the songs was “Turning Japanese” by the Vapors. Well, on the segment, they said over and over that “turning Japanese” had a sexual meaning, but they never said what it was. Henry Rollins did say that it had something to do with a face a man might make at certain times while engaging in an act of self-love…but I still don’t get quite what it means. Could someone help a poor, naive Bean out and explain this to me? Thanks in advance. ---
**Author:** ![Lockfist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/838e76/32.png) [@Lockfist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lockfist)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2002, 5:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/turning-japanese-i-dont-get-it/108233/2 "2002-05-10T05:41:34Z")
Does this make it any more clear ? _Taking a Shake Break_ or this ? _Sloppy Joe’s Last Stand_ You say Tomato… ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2002, 5:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/turning-japanese-i-dont-get-it/108233/3 "2002-05-10T05:56:52Z")
When you **Lockfist** on the **Green Bean** , and payday approaches, a guy’s eyes often squint shut. Bluntly put, it’s a _very_ crude way to describe an orgasm. stv ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2002, 6:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/turning-japanese-i-dont-get-it/108233/4 "2002-05-10T06:02:24Z")
When you **Lockfist** on the **Green Bean** , and payday approaches, a guy’s eyes often squint shut. Bluntly put, it’s a _very_ crude way to describe an orgasm. stv ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2002, 6:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/turning-japanese-i-dont-get-it/108233/5 "2002-05-10T06:04:06Z")
Don’t know why it doubled…😕 stv ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2002, 6:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/turning-japanese-i-dont-get-it/108233/6 "2002-05-10T06:05:53Z")
Thanks, **stv**! (never thought of myself as a phallic symbol before… 🙂 ) ---
**Author:** ![The\_Clawman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e47c2d/32.png) [@The\_Clawman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Clawman)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2002, 10:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/turning-japanese-i-dont-get-it/108233/7 "2002-05-10T10:28:20Z")
And the song contains one of the all time great lyrics - “I got a doctor, to take your picture, so I could look at you from inside as well”. Class. ---
**Author:** ![Arken](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/dfb087/32.png) [@Arken](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arken)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2002, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/turning-japanese-i-dont-get-it/108233/8 "2002-05-10T13:53:16Z")
Hijack about a similar song… One of my all-time favourite TV moments: In the mid-80s, Cyndi Lauper was a guest on Letterman. He said to her, “so what is she-bop anyway, some sort of a dance?” Cyndi laughed and in her trademark heavy New York accent she said, “No Dave, it’s about masturbation!” Dave turned so red you could have mistaken him for a stoplight. ---
**Author:** ![MachV](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@MachV](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MachV)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2002, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/turning-japanese-i-dont-get-it/108233/9 "2002-05-10T14:15:48Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by stv \* > \*\*Don’t know why it doubled…😕 > > stv \*\* Don’t be. It was a great post! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![GingerOfTheNorth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cdc98d/32.png) [@GingerOfTheNorth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GingerOfTheNorth)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2002, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/turning-japanese-i-dont-get-it/108233/10 "2002-05-10T17:05:43Z")
Don’t feel to bad, **Green Bean**. Dave had to explain it to me, too. ---
**Author:** ![roadrunner70](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e19b73/32.png) [@roadrunner70](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/roadrunner70)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2002, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/turning-japanese-i-dont-get-it/108233/11 "2002-05-10T17:27:48Z")
😃 I really think so 😃 ---
**Author:** ![dead0man](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/edb3f5/32.png) [@dead0man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dead0man)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2002, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/turning-japanese-i-dont-get-it/108233/12 "2002-05-10T21:38:06Z")
I’d always heard it was about getting stoned. Learn something new everyday. dead0man ---
**Author:** ![Encinitas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@Encinitas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Encinitas)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2002, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/turning-japanese-i-dont-get-it/108233/13 "2002-05-10T21:56:20Z")
Oh great! Now that song will be stuck in my head all weekend. ---
**Author:** ![jk1245](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/49beb7/32.png) [@jk1245](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jk1245)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2002, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/turning-japanese-i-dont-get-it/108233/14 "2002-05-10T22:08:21Z")
To continue the hijack… I remember seeing that Letterman episode; Hilarious Even stranger, Lauper was a guest on the old Dr. Ruth show of all things (back in the mid 80’s when both were popular). She talked excessively about twirling the pearl and I remember thinking it was odd that a celebrity would appear on the show first of all, and even stranger that she’d spend all her time talking seriously about masturbation. What are the odds you’d see that today? Oh, and now I’ve got that damn “Turning Japanese” song in my head for the rest of the day too. “No sex, no drugs, no wine, no women, No fun, no sin, no you, no wonder it’s dark” ---
**Author:** ![eunoia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eunoia/32/97_2.png) [@eunoia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eunoia)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2002, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/turning-japanese-i-dont-get-it/108233/15 "2002-05-10T22:36:10Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by dead0man \* > \*\*I’d always heard it was about getting stoned. Learn something new everyday. > dead0man \*\* I thought that was “Chinese Eyes”… ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Green\_Fool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df788c/32.png) [@Mr.Green\_Fool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Green_Fool)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2002, 5:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/turning-japanese-i-dont-get-it/108233/16 "2002-05-11T05:06:09Z")
I don’t know about you guys but my eyes don’t squint… they be WIIIIIDE open. Turning Japanese in my circle always meant Golden showers… you know… Yellow… Pee… You get it. ---
**Author:** ![capacitor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e47774/32.png) [@capacitor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/capacitor)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2002, 8:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/turning-japanese-i-dont-get-it/108233/17 "2002-05-11T08:03:03Z")
Did you notice that there are 4 songs on the one-hit wonder list that sings about the joys of self love? ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2002, 1:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/turning-japanese-i-dont-get-it/108233/18 "2002-05-11T13:47:23Z")
**Greenie** what are you doing asking masterbation song questions when you should be busy squirting out that sprout? [sup]How’s that for a highjack?[/sup] ---
**Author:** ![Miss\_Teerious](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cab0a1/32.png) [@Miss\_Teerious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miss_Teerious)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2002, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/turning-japanese-i-dont-get-it/108233/19 "2002-05-11T23:37:57Z")
[QUOTE] \*Originally posted by The Clawman \* \*\*And the song contains one of the all time great lyrics - “I got a doctor, to take your picture, so I could look at you from inside as well”. Class. \*\*[/Q] Worst. Lyric. Ever. ---
**Author:** ![Billy\_Rubin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/billy_rubin/32/3622_2.png) [@Billy\_Rubin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Billy_Rubin)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2002, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/turning-japanese-i-dont-get-it/108233/20 "2002-05-12T02:24:34Z")
No sex. No drugs. No wine. No women. No fun. No me. No you. No wonder it’s dark. Always loved that line. b. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/turning-japanese-i-dont-get-it/108233.md?page=2)