If you’re teaching in the Tokyo/Yokohama area (I don’t really know about the other big cities), you probably won’t get followed around. While westerners are still less than 1% of the population there, people see them every day (when you pack 300+ people in a morning train car, the odds are pretty good that you’ll see some blue eyes a few times a week) so you won’t be that much of a novelty.
The countryside, however, is another story. If you’re living out where people usually only see westerners on TV or in movies, you’ll probably get a few looks. When I was living in Hamamatsu, in Shizuoka Prefecture, I would frequently get stared at in restaurants, buses and trains. It was worse for one of my friends when he was up in the mountains near Nagano (several years before the Olympics) and up north in Akita. He would often have small groups of people following him around while he did his grocery shopping.
I should add, though, that none of this relates to the Japan dating scene. While dating does work differently than in the US (better, in my case), most of the followers and starers my friend and I have encountered have been either children, seniors or drunken businessmen. Still, if you’re patient and friendly about it, you can turn some curious stares into interesting conversations.
It’s the drunken salary men going home on the trains on Friday nights that really annoy me. They politely ignore you during the morning into the office, but come Friday evening, with courage fortified by sake, they choose this time to strike up a conversation in incomprehensible English. This is just what I need, some booze breath telling me gthis is a penh.
When this happens, my reply is now to answer in Japanese that I donft speak English. Unfortunately, this doesnft always work, because they are not listening.
Another one I get from both men and women is about my hair color. Being blond, they want to know if itfs the same color downstairs. At first I used to think it was funny, but it gets old fast and honestly, itfs really none of their business. So I came up with the answer gblueh. They tend to frown at this at first, but then I say, same as eye color. Then I add, isnft it the same for you? As most Japanese have black eyes and hair, the answer is always yes. I think a few people actually bought it.
Donft get me started on the questions about what I eat. gYes, I have tried nato! No, I donft like it!h Some original questions please!
Good advice, Sublight. You definitely need a handkerchief for the Osaka summers. They are also useful for drying your hands after washing them in a public restroom. You almost never find paper towels and rarely do they have electric dryers. It’s also a good idea to have tissues for public toilets since toilet paper is not a certainty.
Just a bit of practical advice. If you want to know more about the teaching situation, Stimpy, drop me an email.
I know, I know… have you ever seen any etiquette guides to Canada? Written as if everyone here was the Queen or a Mountie, except for Quebec, where everyone is Maurice Chevalier.
“‘The Québécois generally frown on eating while walking down the street,’” I quoted to my friend Éric, who laughed so hard he almost dropped his gyros as we walked down Ste-Catherine street.
The reason why the fourth floor is omitted in hospitals (as it sometimes is in hotels) is because the word for 4 is the same sound as the chinese character meaning death (“shi”). Some places still have fourth floors and a 4 in the room number - I lived in apartment 404 on the 4th floor (and I’m still alive and kicking!).
With regard to “how to behave in Japan”, as everyone has already said, it depends on what you are going to do and what you want to get out of it. My advice would be to be as modest and humble as possible, and only play the Gaijin card when you have to (and you will have to). The more you play the Gaijin card, the less seriously you will be taken (although people will still behave in ostensibly the same way to you). If you’re a Jet with no previous experience of Japan, it would definitely be worthwhile talking to someone. I was there for 2 years in the South - again very different from Tokyo. Mail me if you like. I found that many Jets start off by playing the Gaijin card all the time, then when they learn more about what’s under the surface, realise that the humility is needed to move forward.
BTW, when you have been there for a few months, pick up Robert Collins Max Danger books. They’ll have you howling, because you’ll be able to see so much of yourself in there.
If you’re looking forward to jumping into the Japanese dating scene (and you already have a decent amount of Japanese language study under your belt), you might wanna check out a few books called Making Out In Japanese and More Making Out In Japanese. They contain the language that most Japanese teachers won’t teach you, things like insults, fighting words, pillow talk, etc. Be very careful with it, though; you don’t wanna offend folks by using one of these phrases at an inappropriate moment.
As for the rules being “outdated”, most of the Japanese etiquette rules I’ve seen in my very limited experience (or at least, the ones which differ from Western etiquette… Some things are pretty much universal) are basically driven by hygiene and cleanliness, which really makes a lot of sense, when you think about it, for a place with high population density. If it weren’t for fastidious rules of cleanliness, epidemics could probably run rampant in Japan.
good point. In my experience, the social rules are there for exactly the same reason (remember Big Brother? Now imagine a really confiend space with 126million people living there. Pays to have strict-ish social rules).
BTW, the books referred to above can be useful, but heed the caveats - never use these in public. In my other embarassed cough experiences however, the opposite sex kinda dig it when you use your wry expression mother tongue. That’s mother with a little “m”.