# turns of phrase you find unintentionally hillarious **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 2, 2010, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/turns-of-phrase-you-find-unintentionally-hillarious/562668 "2010-12-02T15:05:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Kevbo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e47774/32.png) [@Kevbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kevbo)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2010, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/turns-of-phrase-you-find-unintentionally-hillarious/562668/21 "2010-12-02T18:38:17Z")
> [@Skammer](#): > > My grandfather always teased us about the “Slow Children at Play” sign in front of our house. When visiting New Zealand, I took pictures of the “Beware of Children” signs. ---
**Author:** ![Emily\_Litella](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/emily_litella/32/3370_2.png) [@Emily\_Litella](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Emily_Litella)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2010, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/turns-of-phrase-you-find-unintentionally-hillarious/562668/22 "2010-12-02T18:47:25Z")
\*\*Petcock \*\*- I think it’s one of those things on a motorcycle that’s used to switch over to the reserve gas tank. I want one. ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2010, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/turns-of-phrase-you-find-unintentionally-hillarious/562668/23 "2010-12-02T18:50:49Z")
Yes, **Emily** , but when they get out of control, you need a **stopcock**. ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2010, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/turns-of-phrase-you-find-unintentionally-hillarious/562668/24 "2010-12-02T18:53:29Z")
> [@Khadaji](#): > > Hillarious is too strong a word, but when I see a sign that says: _Watch Children_, I always wonder if they are more effective than watch dogs. I always thought it was explicitly encouraging perverts to watch the children. ---
**Author:** ![Infovore](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/infovore/32/420_2.png) [@Infovore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Infovore)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2010, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/turns-of-phrase-you-find-unintentionally-hillarious/562668/25 "2010-12-02T19:25:27Z")
When I used to work at another company, one of the variables the developers used (to describe the number of buttons on a page) was called “ **numbutts**.” This never failed to make me snicker like a 9-year-old. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2010, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/turns-of-phrase-you-find-unintentionally-hillarious/562668/26 "2010-12-02T19:33:34Z")
> [@Infovore](#): > > When I used to work at another company, one of the variables the developers used (to describe the number of buttons on a page) was called “ **numbutts**.” This never failed to make me snicker like a 9-year-old. 🙂 I wonder if anyone has created an event called ButtPush() ---
**Author:** ![lindsaybluth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/90db22/32.png) [@lindsaybluth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lindsaybluth)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2010, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/turns-of-phrase-you-find-unintentionally-hillarious/562668/27 "2010-12-02T19:53:33Z")
> [@KneadToKnow](#): > > Either I’m misreading your meaning, or you have misread **ITR champion** ’s meaning. My understanding was that **ITR** was saying that the concept that there are “dirty” and “clean” ethnicities has been out of favor since ca. 1945. > > In other words, since the Axis powers lost WWII. Right, and that ethnic cleansing is a word used to describe that. Which it’s not (again, to the best of my knowledge, which largely ended 5 years ago). ---
**Author:** ![sitchensis](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sitchensis/32/4892_2.png) [@sitchensis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sitchensis)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2010, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/turns-of-phrase-you-find-unintentionally-hillarious/562668/28 "2010-12-02T21:07:04Z")
I always found it funny when referring to something as “male” or “female” depending on which went inside the other. It probably comes from being at an age where my parents would fast forward through pretty innocent sex scenes in movies, while at the same time, if I was helping my Dad with a project he would refer to the “female” pluming piece or the “male” plug in. I mean come on Dad, that’s basically admitting that I know that penises go in vaginas. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Tao\_s\_Revenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/73ab20/32.png) [@The\_Tao\_s\_Revenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Tao_s_Revenge)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2010, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/turns-of-phrase-you-find-unintentionally-hillarious/562668/29 "2010-12-02T21:50:10Z")
> [@Infovore](#): > > When I used to work at another company, one of the variables the developers used (to describe the number of buttons on a page) was called “ **numbutts**.” This never failed to make me snicker like a 9-year-old. 🙂 I take it they biked a lot. ---
**Author:** ![Hedda\_Rosa](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hedda_rosa/32/1204_2.png) [@Hedda\_Rosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hedda_Rosa)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2010, 6:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/turns-of-phrase-you-find-unintentionally-hillarious/562668/30 "2010-12-03T06:20:11Z")
Dongle. Heh. ---
**Author:** ![EvilTOJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee59a6/32.png) [@EvilTOJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EvilTOJ)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2010, 8:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/turns-of-phrase-you-find-unintentionally-hillarious/562668/31 "2010-12-03T08:37:15Z")
When I worked on a grocery store’s help desk they’d call for any and all problems related to the stores. Grocery stores have receiving of goods in the back of the store. Therefore, this area is called backdoor receiving. I still giggle thinking about it, especially when ladies would call and get the wrong department and say “Oh sorry, I need backdoor receiving”. I bet you do baby, I bet you do. ---
**Author:** ![Silvorange](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8dc957/32.png) [@Silvorange](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silvorange)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2010, 8:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/turns-of-phrase-you-find-unintentionally-hillarious/562668/32 "2010-12-03T08:55:49Z")
> [@EvilTOJ](#): > > When I worked on a grocery store’s help desk they’d call for any and all problems related to the stores. Grocery stores have receiving of goods in the back of the store. Therefore, this area is called backdoor receiving. I still giggle thinking about it, especially when ladies would call and get the wrong department and say “Oh sorry, I need backdoor receiving”. I bet you do baby, I bet you do. When my sister’s office job at Kroger was eliminated, she got a job as a back door receiver. I have made sure she regrets telling me her title. ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2010, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/turns-of-phrase-you-find-unintentionally-hillarious/562668/33 "2010-12-03T13:52:15Z")
twitter - I think of the Monty Python sketch with the Twit’s having a race. The Twitter 500 or such. ---
**Author:** ![EvilTOJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee59a6/32.png) [@EvilTOJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EvilTOJ)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2010, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/turns-of-phrase-you-find-unintentionally-hillarious/562668/34 "2010-12-03T15:04:03Z")
> [@Silvorange](#): > > When my sister’s office job at Kroger was eliminated, she got a job as a back door receiver. I have made sure she regrets telling me her title. I actually worked at the Fred Meyer office, which is owned by Kroger. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Chessic\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7c8e57/32.png) [@Chessic\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chessic_Sense)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2010, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/turns-of-phrase-you-find-unintentionally-hillarious/562668/35 "2010-12-03T17:49:05Z")
I had something on my computer that I wanted to show a coworker yesterday. “You want to see something?” “Yeah.” It’s a funny question if you think about it literally. ---
**Author:** ![Dogzilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@Dogzilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dogzilla)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2010, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/turns-of-phrase-you-find-unintentionally-hillarious/562668/36 "2010-12-03T21:00:18Z")
Many moons ago, I was on a business trip and had to stay in a Residence Inn, which had these suites instead of rooms. They were quite swanky and even included a little doorbell next to your hotel door (on the wall in the hallway). So I’d been traveling for 6 or 8 hours and was tired and hungry and dreading my trip in general, kind of depressed. And as I swiped my little key card, I noticed this tiny little sign above the doorbell, “Depress button for 5 seconds.” I leaned over, peered at the button and said to it, “Life is just not worth living. You should short yourself out. Pack it in. Give it up. You’re nothing but a doorbell button anyway.” It took about 5 seconds. The button did look pretty depressed after that. I crack myself up. ---
**Author:** ![Snickers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@Snickers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snickers)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2010, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/turns-of-phrase-you-find-unintentionally-hillarious/562668/37 "2010-12-03T21:22:44Z")
> [@KneadToKnow](#): > > Yes, **Emily** , but when they get out of control, you need a **stopcock**. And to keep those in line, you could get a spatchcock. ---
**Author:** ![Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cab0a1/32.png) [@Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Man_With_a_Cat)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2010, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/turns-of-phrase-you-find-unintentionally-hillarious/562668/38 "2010-12-03T21:32:41Z")
Signs that say “Speed Hump” Ok fine, but sometimes I just feel like taking my time ---
**Author:** ![Infovore](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/infovore/32/420_2.png) [@Infovore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Infovore)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2010, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/turns-of-phrase-you-find-unintentionally-hillarious/562668/39 "2010-12-03T21:36:17Z")
> [@Dogzilla](#): > > Many moons ago, I was on a business trip and had to stay in a Residence Inn, which had these suites instead of rooms. They were quite swanky and even included a little doorbell next to your hotel door (on the wall in the hallway). So I’d been traveling for 6 or 8 hours and was tired and hungry and dreading my trip in general, kind of depressed. And as I swiped my little key card, I noticed this tiny little sign above the doorbell, “Depress button for 5 seconds.” > > I leaned over, peered at the button and said to it, “Life is just not worth living. You should short yourself out. Pack it in. Give it up. You’re nothing but a doorbell button anyway.” It took about 5 seconds. The button did look pretty depressed after that. > > I crack myself up. 😃 I’m glad to see I’m not the only one who does this. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2010, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/turns-of-phrase-you-find-unintentionally-hillarious/562668/40 "2010-12-03T22:51:35Z")
> [@Dogzilla](#): > > And as I swiped my little key card, I noticed this tiny little sign above the doorbell, “Depress button for 5 seconds.” “DOOR IS ALARMED” There there, door. Calm down, everything’s going to be just fine. There there. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/turns-of-phrase-you-find-unintentionally-hillarious/562668.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/turns-of-phrase-you-find-unintentionally-hillarious/562668.md?page=3)