Well to be fair, the sum total of human knowledge kind of is all on the internet. I mean, seriously, what haven’t you been able to find on the internet?
Either way, what about all the programs with the crazy user interfaces? Nothing but flowing binary with no scroll option that people can keep up with and identify viruses and hackers from? Gimmabreak.
I haven’t got the cite but there was a consumer affairs programme about this very subject some years ago on UK tv.BBC1.
It was not so much about people being thrown through windows or jumping through them deliberately as people accidently falling through glass doors or French Windows.
There was a regular death toll from these events which led to a change in the law on safety grounds of glass used in such circumstances.
Its the easiest thing in the world to sever an artery going through glass.
I never jumped through a window, but I’ve twice put an arm through one. Once I slipped on an icy porch. The second time I was running and was unable to stop quite in time. On both occasions I was cut VERY badly. I cannot imagine jumping through one and not ending up with some horrifying wounds.
Law and Order with chickens is exactly the same as without.
“Well, okay… if you’re sure I won’t get addicted!”
*Corrolary:
*
Every character who is prescribed pain medication for an injury, and is shown removing a pill from the bottle and taking it, will later develop a (temporarily concealed) addiction.
The guy getting thrown out the window always hits a parked (or stopped) car.
Interrogation - as soon as the suspect gets hit with that irrefutable evidence he switches from “innocent look” to “twisted angry look” and launches into a an explanation which includes that he was getting even, getting his, misunderstood etc.
In court any lawyer who makes a statement to the witness instead of a question - Ex: You knew that the girls was in danger yet you still told her to go into the woodshed. Most TV courtroom dialog would be drowned out in an endless succession of objections and warnings if attempted in real court.
Character gets shot, but it’s not fatal. For the next fifteen minutes to several hours, they continue to fight on, with minimal blood gushing out, and no real expressions of pain.
Me getting shot: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGHHGH!!
30 seconds later: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGHHGH!! I’VE BEEN SHOT!!!
40 seconds later: DAAAAAMMNNN! I’VE BEEN SHOT!!!
(etc.)
An undisciplined, sometimes reckless {insert profession} knows something vital about the situation because he’s not just a mindless {insert profession} following the rules. (S)he’s got heart. Someone important says, at some point, “You’re reckless, and you’ll get us all killed.” The situation deteriorates to the point where the “traditional” ways of dealing with things are obviously failing. Maverick-y protagonist goes to the red button and pushes it, and this button coincidentally was pre-engineered to do exactly the opposite of the standard operating procedures. CO2 level instantly drops or doomsday countdown stops or red lights stop flashing or all of the enemy’s ships go silent. (But if you insult The Core, you risk feeling my wrath).
Person gets very sick, and is on his deathbed. (Long “chase the loaf” story occurs). Just as their vital signs are going, as evidenced by the hearbeat bleepy thing, the hero/heroine arrives with the wonder drug. They jam it in with a hypodermic needle to the chest or neck, and within about 30 seconds, the person makes remarkable progress, as evidenced by the bleepy thing bleeping faster and slightly quieter. Sometimes, the wonder drug also cleans their face up a little and applies a slight powder so their face isn’t as shiny.
(“Chase the loaf” is a term I heard from a writer when he was talking about the four or five fundamental types of stories. People are chasing something for the entire movie, and that thing could be replaced by a loaf of bread without changing any part of the story. I didn’t write all of them down, but there’s also “Fish out of water” and “Amazing Journey”.)
If I’d been shot, I’d still be yelling:
20 minutes later: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGHHGH!! I’VE BEEN SHOT!!!
…
And then, of course, there’s the witness who breaks down under cross examination and admits his crime on the witness stand.
I saw the commercials for that Closer episode. Maybe I’m giving the show too much credit, but it was so incredibly trite I assumed they were doing it ironically.
Oh, come on, you’d probably have gone into shock by then. :rolleyes:
I believe it was the Burt Reynolds movie Hooper, in which there’s a bar fight (with Terry Bradshaw!), and Brian Keith gets thrown out a window. Since the character’s a movie stuntman, he says to the guy who tossed him, “That’s not how you throw someone through a window! I’ll show you how it’s done!” and proceeds to throw himself out the same window onto the porch (or alley, or otherwise outside). Not a bad picture IIRC.
Mine somewhat goes along with groo’s about getting shot…
The bad guy’s henchmen are standing watch when the good guy sneaks in, throws a knife, which hits henchman in the gut, who then dies within half a second. I can understand not showing graphic blood, particularly in older movies/TV shows, but death doesn’t come that quickly from a knife wound to the stomach.
The getting instantly dropped by edged weapons thing annoys me too. Short of decapitation, there aren’t a lot of instant-death blows with knives and swords. There are lots, and lots, and lots of thrashing and screaming and bleeding and screaming some more blows you can inflict with a knife, sword, or axe.
Or how the knife itself sinks into the gut with it’s blade.
I’d like to see a movie where someone throws a knife and it bounces off the guard by its handle.
That’s also often referred to as a MacGuffin. Alfred Hitchcock, if he didn’t invent the term, certainly popularized it. It’s any object or thing in a movie that is inconsequential in itself, but becomes vitally important in the film as the whole plot hinges on searching for/locating/obtaining the object in question.
Anyway, as for other cliches - I’m sick to death of angsty, emotional, teenybopper vampires who yearn to be mortals again. Give me the white trash, party hardy, no remorse vamps of “Near Dark” over “Tempted” or “Let the Right One In” or any damn Anne Rice book any day.
I’m tired of vampires in general. The last vampire movie I enjoyed at all was that 30 Days of Night crapfest. It was just so refreshing to see repulsive, not-at-all-sexy vampires who literally prey on humans.
Not quite as final, but let’s get rid of the one-punch/karate chop to the neck knockout death blow.
I hate to be a party-pooper, but this happens in real life. Not to MOST people, but it happens. I’ve heard and read many accounts of it happening to cops, soldiers and even criminals. Usually not several hours, but for quite a while.
I prefer the “raze the village, raise the corpses” vampire lord, myself.
Horror movies … monster chasing teenager … teenager looks to see if monster is still chasing him or her … and moron teenager falls down!
Seriously, what kind of a expletive deleted expletive deleted of a expletive deleted expletive deleted teenager can’t run and look over his shoulder at the same time?
Just once I want to see the monster trip and fall.
…but then the Clueless Ingenue rushes between them and says, “No!!!”
And is immediately taken hostage.
That’s what armour piercing rounds are for.