# TV Autopsy accurate? (hey, gabriela!) **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 22, 2006, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tv-autopsy-accurate-hey-gabriela/369775 "2006-08-22T17:47:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![picunurse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7bcc69/32.png) [@picunurse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/picunurse)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2006, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tv-autopsy-accurate-hey-gabriela/369775/41 "2006-09-02T01:29:18Z")
[QUOTE=gotpasswords] I’m constantly fascinated that people have worked out a whole process for figuring out the way a person died. You look over every square inch, finding a scrape here, a bruise there, but the hands are undamaged and add it all up to determine that the poor sap was dead before they fell down the stairs, as opposed to falling and trying to break their fall or grab something. (Or the classic “pulled out of the lake, but there’s not much water in the lungs, so they were killed, then tossed in” scenarios.) I don’t suppose you’re of any relation to TV’s Dr. G. 😃 One thing that’s puzzled me somewhat is the term for the procedure has changed - when I was growing up, it was always an autopsy, but now, I’m hearing the term necropsy a lot more often. Why the apparent switch? [/QUOTE] Necropsy is the examination of a non-human. Autopsy is still used in the U.S., to my knowledge. ---
**Author:** ![gabriela](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/db5fbb/32.png) [@gabriela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gabriela)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2006, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tv-autopsy-accurate-hey-gabriela/369775/42 "2006-09-02T01:38:19Z")
[QUOTE=picunurse] Necropsy is the examination of a non-human. Autopsy is still used in the U.S., to my knowledge. [/QUOTE] Yeah, but some people use it for humans. Totally confusing to the layperson who is being asked if they want a necropsy on their loved one. A what? I think I’ve heard that it came about because somebody didn’t like the Greek roots of autopsy – it means either “see for yourself” (which I like) or “cut open yourself” (which makes no sense). So “necropsy” was deemed More Correct because of its Greek roots meaning “cut something dead open”. Hey. I do autopsies. By the way – Lester Adelson just recently died. One of the founders of our field, contemporary of Milton Helpern. The orange journal (NAME’s in-house organ) had a lovely tribute to him in which they quoted some of his aphorisms. I truly loved the one that went “That uncommon quality, common sense, is soluble in alcohol.” Vade in pacem Lester Adelson. I hope he had an autopsy. ---
**Author:** ![picunurse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7bcc69/32.png) [@picunurse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/picunurse)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2006, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tv-autopsy-accurate-hey-gabriela/369775/43 "2006-09-02T01:54:21Z")
**gabriela** , an unbelted airbagless front seat passenger would be contra-coup, correct? The head is the “projectile” and the windshield is stationary. This is more the kind of traumatic brain injury I’m familar with. Sometimes they live, or, as one of the neurosurgeons I worked with was wont to say, “He’ll be fine once he gets a trach and a PEG.” :rolleyes: For non-medical people, a trach is a semi-permanent breathing tube in the neck and a PEG is a _Percutaneous Enteral Gastrostomy_ or a feeding tube placed through the skin of the abdomen. Meaning the patient is probably in a chronic persistant vegetative state. ---
**Author:** ![gabriela](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/db5fbb/32.png) [@gabriela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gabriela)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2006, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tv-autopsy-accurate-hey-gabriela/369775/44 "2006-09-02T02:02:40Z")
[QUOTE=picunurse] **gabriela** , an unbelted airbagless front seat passenger would be contra-coup, correct? The head is the “projectile” and the windshield is stationary. This is more the kind of traumatic brain injury I’m familar with. Sometimes they live, or, as one of the neurosurgeons I worked with was wont to say, “He’ll be fine once he gets a trach and a PEG.” :rolleyes: For non-medical people, a trach is a semi-permanent breathing tube in the neck and a PEG is a _Percutaneous Enteral Gastrostomy_ or a feeding tube placed through the skin of the abdomen. Meaning the patient is probably in a chronic persistant vegetative state. [/QUOTE] **picunurse** , I don’t really know – if the head to the windshield is bad enough to send them to me, they’re usually fractured all to hellangone, and the coup/contrecoup distinction vanishes in a multitude of injuries all over the place. I like the bleak humor of the neurosurgeon’s comment. When I was a fourth-year medical student I had a prized T-shirt that read “Found Down” on the front and “DNR” on the back. (For non-medical people: “Found Down” is for a person the EMS folks find unresponsive on the sidewalk with no history; “DNR” is of course “Do Not Resuscitate”). I loved that shirt. Got some stunned and evil reactions to it. I’ve always loved dry bleak medical humor. Maybe more than normal people love it. Reminds me of a few nights ago when a CSI guy’s mother wanted to ask me a question. Seemed she had forgotten the name of a syndrome applied by her doctors to her toe. All she could say was that it started with an F. I had to admit drawing a blank. I said, “The good news is, it probably isn’t fatal.” She said, “Oh no, I don’t want to die!” I said, “Well, since I don’t know anything about it, you probably won’t.” Too dry? ---
**Author:** ![picunurse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7bcc69/32.png) [@picunurse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/picunurse)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2006, 3:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tv-autopsy-accurate-hey-gabriela/369775/45 "2006-09-02T03:07:19Z")
[QUOTE=gabriela] **picunurse** , I don’t really know – if the head to the windshield is bad enough to send them to me, they’re usually fractured all to hellangone, and the coup/contrecoup distinction vanishes in a multitude of injuries all over the place. I like the bleak humor of the neurosurgeon’s comment. When I was a fourth-year medical student I had a prized T-shirt that read “Found Down” on the front and “DNR” on the back. (For non-medical people: “Found Down” is for a person the EMS folks find unresponsive on the sidewalk with no history; “DNR” is of course “Do Not Resuscitate”). I loved that shirt. Got some stunned and evil reactions to it. I’ve always loved dry bleak medical humor. Maybe more than normal people love it. Reminds me of a few nights ago when a CSI guy’s mother wanted to ask me a question. Seemed she had forgotten the name of a syndrome applied by her doctors to her toe. All she could say was that it started with an F. I had to admit drawing a blank. I said, “The good news is, it probably isn’t fatal.” She said, “Oh no, I don’t want to die!” I said, “Well, since I don’t know anything about it, you probably won’t.” Too dry? [/QUOTE] Never! 😃 Oh, he was dead serious. I saw shock on his face, when, after said placement, a family member went ballistic because, “You said he’d be FINE!” His response was “Well, he is fine!” He just didn’t “get” it. I’m I awful that I’ve used it? To prolong the hijack a bit longer, can I mention the nurse who moved from some other part of the country? At the time, the major ambulance company in the area was named Shepard’s Ambulance. One day, reading a chart, she looked up a bit bemused and said “It’s so nice to live somewhere that regular people care so much.” 😕😕 She continued, “Like in this chart, the patient ‘was found down by shepards and brought to the ER.’ Where are the sheep ranches so close to downtown?” The worst part was that no one clued her in, so she kept watching for herds of sheep in downtown Seattle. We medical people are so very funny. ---
**Author:** ![Subway\_Prophet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecb155/32.png) [@Subway\_Prophet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Subway_Prophet)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2006, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tv-autopsy-accurate-hey-gabriela/369775/46 "2006-09-02T14:59:43Z")
Awesome thread. [QUOTE=gabriela] Man is cleaning a slick and slippery metal grate over a chicken parts collection vat set into the floor at **MmHmMm** poultry processing plant. […] (Yes, this was one heckuvan autopsy [/QUOTE] Why do I get the feeling that, whenever one of our resident medical experts mention a food brand name, there’s a decline in the recreational comsumption of said brands? **Gabriela** , you’re awesome, but if you ever mention Oreos in any kind of official capacity, I don’t want to hear about it! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2006, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tv-autopsy-accurate-hey-gabriela/369775/47 "2006-09-02T16:41:06Z")
Hey, \*\*gabriela \*\*! A doper once said that they wanted to have “Coroner please try CPR one last time” tattooed on their chest. What would you do if you found that on one of your subects (patient?)? Would ya do it? Or would you look at 'em and say something like, “Not on your life, pal.” while firing up the Corpse-O-Matic Saw[sup]TM[/sup] with an evil grin on your face? ---
**Author:** ![gabriela](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/db5fbb/32.png) [@gabriela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gabriela)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2006, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tv-autopsy-accurate-hey-gabriela/369775/48 "2006-09-02T22:15:01Z")
[QUOTE=Tuckerfan] Hey, \*\*gabriela \*\*! A doper once said that they wanted to have “Coroner please try CPR one last time” tattooed on their chest. What would you do if you found that on one of your subects (patient?)? Would ya do it? Or would you look at 'em and say something like, “Not on your life, pal.” while firing up the Corpse-O-Matic Saw[sup]TM[/sup] with an evil grin on your face? [/QUOTE] Naah. No luck, buddy. If you’ve made it to me, you’re really most sincerely dead. Or (evil grin on her face, firing up the Stryker) you will be when I finish with you. ---
**Author:** ![NajaNivea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/22d042/32.png) [@NajaNivea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NajaNivea)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2006, 4:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tv-autopsy-accurate-hey-gabriela/369775/49 "2006-09-03T04:21:30Z")
[QUOTE=gabriela] The bag is held open by a large metal container with a handle that is called a kick bucket. (Because when your gloves are bloody, you can kick it over towards you without soiling its handle, and without tipping it over.) My non-pathologist husband thinks this name is wonderful, as it combines the words “kick” and “bucket” into one morgue-required appliance.. [/QUOTE] This sounds awesome–can I get one for my kitchen? ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2006, 7:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tv-autopsy-accurate-hey-gabriela/369775/50 "2006-09-03T07:08:37Z")
[QUOTE=gabriela] Naah. No luck, buddy. If you’ve made it to me, you’re really most sincerely dead. Or (evil grin on her face, firing up the Stryker) you will be when I finish with you. [/QUOTE] Hmmm, wonder what a lawyer would make of that? You know, not honoring the deceased’s last request and all that? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![gabriela](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/db5fbb/32.png) [@gabriela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gabriela)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2006, 10:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tv-autopsy-accurate-hey-gabriela/369775/51 "2006-09-03T10:25:37Z")
[QUOTE=MixieArmadillo] This sounds awesome–can I get one for my kitchen? [/QUOTE] [Sure](http://www.mopec.com/chapter2/pdf/Storage_Containers_Covers.pdf) you can. I notice MOPEC doesn’t give prices but I’m sure it’ll set you back; medical equipment is always more expensive than is rational just as wedding accessories are always more expensive than is rational. But for a product of this quality, with this silvery gunmetal stainless steel sheen, wouldn’t you want to shell out a few more bucks? For those of you who want a little premature Halloween joy, [here](http://www.mopec.com/products/products.htm) is Mopec’s page of products they offer for sale. Check out those tilting autopsy tables! ---
**Author:** ![gabriela](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/db5fbb/32.png) [@gabriela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gabriela)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2006, 10:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tv-autopsy-accurate-hey-gabriela/369775/52 "2006-09-03T10:30:11Z")
[QUOTE=Tuckerfan] Hmmm, wonder what a lawyer would make of that? You know, not honoring the deceased’s last request and all that? 😉 [/QUOTE] Lawyers invited to chime in; I’m out of my field of expertise here. But from what I understand, **Tuckerfan** , the decedent is legally **not a person** any more, and cannot make requests. Can’t enter into contracts. Can’t expect to have them honored. Oh, sure, there’s that little matter of the will. But that’s the only set of wishes expressed by the dead person while he or she was still alive that IS honored. Nothing else is binding. Try to get an insurance company to pay for an autopsy. Just try. Insurance goes away as soon as the person is pronounced. They don’t pay no cash to dead folks. Dead folks got no rights to contractual monies. Closest I can come to your scenario is a story I’ve told too many times. Colleague of mine got a redneck corpse with an amateur tattoo across the upper belly: “Cut Here” and a dotted line. Man did she laugh. Laughed and laughed and laughed. Took pictures. Then, since the dotted line was transverse and the lower limb of the Y-shaped incision is vertical, she ignored it completely and cut right through it. If you’re willing to be a test case for me, though, go out and get the tattoo… ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2006, 12:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tv-autopsy-accurate-hey-gabriela/369775/53 "2006-09-03T12:48:58Z")
[QUOTE=gabriela] [here]([http://www.For](http://www.For) those of you who want a little premature Halloween joy, [URL=[http://www.mopec.com/products/products.htm](http://www.mopec.com/products/products.htm)) is Mopec’s page of products they offer for sale. [/QUOTE] Gotta love a home page with a section on “Fume Handling.” ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2006, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tv-autopsy-accurate-hey-gabriela/369775/54 "2006-09-03T14:16:13Z")
Oh, majorly cool! I gotta get me one of those [bone dust collectors](http://www.mopec.com/chapter2/ch2_Bone_Dust_Collector.htm)! ---
**Author:** ![NajaNivea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/22d042/32.png) [@NajaNivea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NajaNivea)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2006, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tv-autopsy-accurate-hey-gabriela/369775/55 "2006-09-03T14:39:31Z")
[QUOTE=gabriela] [Sure](http://www.mopec.com/chapter2/pdf/Storage_Containers_Covers.pdf) you can. I notice MOPEC doesn’t give prices but I’m sure it’ll set you back; medical equipment is always more expensive than is rational just as wedding accessories are always more expensive than is rational. But for a product of this quality, with this silvery gunmetal stainless steel sheen, wouldn’t you want to shell out a few more bucks? For those of you who want a little premature Halloween joy, [here](http://www.mopec.com/products/products.htm) is Mopec’s page of products they offer for sale. Check out those tilting autopsy tables! [/QUOTE] Sweet! I think I’ll order a set of [these](http://www.mopec.com/chapter1/pdf/Dissecting_Knives.pdf) and set the table with them at dinner parties. They’ll go nicely with the Fiestaware 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2006, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tv-autopsy-accurate-hey-gabriela/369775/56 "2006-09-03T15:21:29Z")
[QUOTE=twickster] Gotta love a home page with a section on “Fume Handling.” [/QUOTE] I’m still giggling over a category called **Grossing Workstations**! (I know it probably doesn’t mean “gross” gross, but it’s funny nonetheless.) But [“teasing needles”](http://www.mopec.com/chapter1/ch1_Special_Instruments_Probes.htm)? Man, that’s just mean! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![gabriela](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/db5fbb/32.png) [@gabriela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gabriela)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2006, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tv-autopsy-accurate-hey-gabriela/369775/57 "2006-09-03T16:46:18Z")
I’m so glad you guys are having fun with all this! We oughta do this as a new thread closer to Halloween. So people can, you know, order. Mopec comes to our conventions and has a booth with an autopsy table and Stryker saws and cool little dissecting tools and stuff. They take themselves seriously. Entirely seriously. They don’t see the funny side to any of what they do. Also, last year they had a continuous loop video playing of a guy being autopsied on one of their new tables with their newest equipment, with a voiceover explaining the advantages and low, low price of every item. My husband (who is not a doctor, but who has been dragged along to so many of these conventions over the years that most people think he is) watched it with great fascination. I said, “What’s the deal?” He said, “I can imagine leaving my body to science, but who the heck was the guy who left his body to advertising??” ---
**Author:** ![gabriela](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/db5fbb/32.png) [@gabriela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gabriela)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2006, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tv-autopsy-accurate-hey-gabriela/369775/58 "2006-09-03T16:49:30Z")
[QUOTE=WhyNot] But [“teasing needles”](http://www.mopec.com/chapter1/ch1_Special_Instruments_Probes.htm)? Man, that’s just mean! 😃 [/QUOTE] You didn’t pick up on the double prong flesh hook listed just above it? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tv-autopsy-accurate-hey-gabriela/369775.md?page=2)