# TV insults **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [January 4, 2012, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tv-insults/608389 "2012-01-04T16:57:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![enomaj](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/59ef9b/32.png) [@enomaj](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enomaj)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2012, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tv-insults/608389/1 "2012-01-04T16:57:29Z")
No poll because the one for TV exclamations! was so inadequate . What are your favorites? Fish-eyed fool! - Aunt Esther to Fred G. Sanford (Sanford and Son) No class - Russell Cosby (Fat Albert) E.g. You’re like school on a Saturday. No class. Beady bead - Martin Payne to Pam James (Martin Lawrence Show) ETA: Continual insults not one-offs. ---
**Author:** ![Don\_Draper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b2d939/32.png) [@Don\_Draper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_Draper)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2012, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tv-insults/608389/2 "2012-01-04T17:25:07Z")
Kiss my grit! ---
**Author:** ![enomaj](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/59ef9b/32.png) [@enomaj](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enomaj)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2012, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tv-insults/608389/3 "2012-01-04T17:29:35Z")
You only have one grit?! ---
**Author:** ![Tim\_R.Mortiss](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tim_r.mortiss/32/142_2.png) [@Tim\_R.Mortiss](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tim_R.Mortiss)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2012, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tv-insults/608389/4 "2012-01-04T17:30:31Z")
Probie. ---
**Author:** ![standingwave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9de0a6/32.png) [@standingwave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/standingwave)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2012, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tv-insults/608389/5 "2012-01-04T17:31:08Z")
“\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_ for me to poop on!” (Triumph the Insult Comic Dog) “Sit on it!” (Happy Days) “Take off, hoser.” (MacKenzie Brothers) “Up your nose with a rubber hose” (Mister Kotter) ---
**Author:** ![GrandWino](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grandwino/32/67_2.png) [@GrandWino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrandWino)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2012, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tv-insults/608389/6 "2012-01-04T17:32:02Z")
Does the sideways-fistbump gesture on “Friends” count? ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2012, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tv-insults/608389/7 "2012-01-04T17:39:46Z")
> [@standingwave](#): > > “Up your nose with a rubber hose” (Mister Kotter) Get off my case, Potato Face. ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2012, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tv-insults/608389/8 "2012-01-04T17:48:38Z")
“I’ve seen more intelligent creatures than you swimming at the bottom of ponds! I’ve seen better organised creatures than you running 'round farm yards with their heads cut off!” And of course, “Shut your festering gob you tit! Your type makes me puke! You vacuous toffee-nosed malodorous pervert!” ---
**Author:** ![enomaj](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/59ef9b/32.png) [@enomaj](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enomaj)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2012, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tv-insults/608389/9 "2012-01-04T17:56:06Z")
> [@Bob Ducca](#): > > Does the sideways-fistbump gesture on “Friends” count? I think the fist bump is a celebration of a good zinger and might not be considered an insult in and of itself. ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2012, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tv-insults/608389/10 "2012-01-04T18:02:46Z")
> [@Bob Ducca](#): > > Does the sideways-fistbump gesture on “Friends” count? > [@enomaj](#): > > I think the fist bump is a celebration of a good zinger and might not be considered an insult in and of itself. Not a ‘fist bump’, it was the way for Ross and Monica to flip each other off without their parents realizing what they were doing. Also, you’ll notice, if you watch the reruns, when ever one Friend did it to another the one on the receiving end always looked genuinely insulted. Not snickering or laughing but had an almost “WTF?” or “Screw you” look on their face. ---
**Author:** ![Maggie\_the\_Ocelot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df705f/32.png) [@Maggie\_the\_Ocelot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maggie_the_Ocelot)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2012, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tv-insults/608389/11 "2012-01-04T18:02:46Z")
You wouldn’t see a subtle plan if it painted itself purple and danced naked on top of a harpsichord, singing “Subtle plans are here again!” ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2012, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tv-insults/608389/12 "2012-01-04T18:15:50Z")
There’s a similar theme to the thread where I made [these comments.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=12141864&postcount=9) ---
**Author:** ![cjepson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a9adbd/32.png) [@cjepson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cjepson)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2012, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tv-insults/608389/13 "2012-01-04T18:22:45Z")
Cheese-eatin’ surrender monkeys. ---
**Author:** ![AndyLee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/898d66/32.png) [@AndyLee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AndyLee)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2012, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tv-insults/608389/14 "2012-01-04T18:24:41Z")
> [@Lute Skywatcher](#): > > Get off my case, Potato Face. The line is “off my case, toliet face.” Don’t forget Archie Bunker making the word “stifle” a household term ---
**Author:** ![Sister\_Vigilante](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9de0a6/32.png) [@Sister\_Vigilante](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sister_Vigilante)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2012, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tv-insults/608389/15 "2012-01-04T18:26:52Z")
That boy’s about as sharp as a bowling ball. He’s got a mouth like a cannon, always shooting it off. And about a bazillion more from Foghorn Leghorn. ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2012, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tv-insults/608389/16 "2012-01-04T18:31:40Z")
There is no greater source of truly creative insults than the old BBC show “Chef!” [**Gareth**](http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0377901/): [_to Piers_] Let me explain the order of things to you. There’s the aristocracy, the upper class, the middle class, working class, dumb animals, waiters, creeping things, head lice, people who eat packet soup, then you. **Gareth:** You are a pea-brained, prat-faced, pompous, pillock-headed cretin. If you took an intensive course of intelligence injections and studied till you drop, then one day you might make it to moron third class failed. **Gareth:** Everton, let me explain things to you. In the world of cooking, I am Einstein. Lucinda is Isaac Newton. And you are a mud-dwelling unicellular bit of jelly with a predilection for consuming its own excrement. **Everton:** You don’t like the way I cook? **Gareth** : I feel it’s important to be frank. But I am unfortunately unable to find an accurate quote for any of his really best material, which was always aimed at Everton, and always along the lines of “You’re an X-faced X with the intelligence of an X and completely without the X to X properly” Which was always followed by “What are you?!?” Upon which Everton would shamefacedly repeat “I am an x-faced x, with . . .” Gareth was the original of Gordon Ramsay’s curent TV persona, and truly far better at it. . . ---
**Author:** ![Sitnam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Sitnam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sitnam)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2012, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tv-insults/608389/17 "2012-01-04T18:35:42Z")
“It’s been a long time… you pus-dripping sack of double-smoked butt jerky!” I’d put Mom up against any TV insult aficionado. ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2012, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tv-insults/608389/18 "2012-01-04T18:39:47Z")
And of course I found the motherlode three seconds after the Edit window closed. [http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Chef](http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Chef)! **Gareth Blackstock** :You are no doubt waiting for me to say to you ‘It pains me to say this’ or ‘It gives me no pleasure’ YOU WILL WAIT IN VAIN! I am Gareth Blackstock I am seriously unpleasant. I am a bastard what am I? **Piers** :You’re a bastard Chef. **Gareth Blackstock** :Contact. **Gareth Blackstock** :You’re pea brained, prat faced, pillock headed cretin, what are you? **Everton** :I’m a pea brained, prat faced… ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2012, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tv-insults/608389/19 "2012-01-04T18:59:24Z")
> [@AndyLee](#): > > The line is “off my case, toliet face.” [Depends on the episode.](http://www.youtu.be/watch?v=WZmlBTgaLEI&t=8m21s) ---
**Author:** ![Heart\_of\_Dorkness](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/4bbf92/32.png) [@Heart\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Heart_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2012, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tv-insults/608389/20 "2012-01-04T19:32:45Z")
Who are you calling a “cootie queen”, you [lint licker](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WEJJUGJZxpU)? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tv-insults/608389.md?page=2)