# TV insults **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [January 4, 2012, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tv-insults/608389 "2012-01-04T16:57:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Don\_Draper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b2d939/32.png) [@Don\_Draper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_Draper)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2012, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tv-insults/608389/41 "2012-01-09T20:43:27Z")
“Grace, that hair is such a disaster that the Red Cross wouldn’t even give it a cup of coffee!” “You mad, fat old cow!” ---
**Author:** ![Ellen\_Cherry](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellen_cherry/32/3600_2.png) [@Ellen\_Cherry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ellen_Cherry)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2012, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tv-insults/608389/42 "2012-01-09T21:24:32Z")
To the moon, Alice! ---
**Author:** ![Saltire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saltire/32/553_2.png) [@Saltire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saltire)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2012, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tv-insults/608389/43 "2012-01-09T22:39:02Z")
I often use on from _King of the Hill_: “That boy’s just not right.” ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2012, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tv-insults/608389/44 "2012-01-09T23:17:36Z")
“Little Miss Helena Bonham Bloody Carter…” _Absolutely Fabulous_ (Patsy re: Saffron) ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2012, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tv-insults/608389/45 "2012-01-09T23:34:27Z")
> [@Saltire](#): > > I often use on from _King of the Hill_: “That boy’s just not right.” “… _I tell you whut._” ---
**Author:** ![Cartoonacy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/848f3c/32.png) [@Cartoonacy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartoonacy)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2012, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tv-insults/608389/46 "2012-01-09T23:39:34Z")
I just watched a first-season \*Castle \*episode in which he referred to his ex-wife as a “deep-fried Twinkie.” Every now and then, it’s a treat; but if you have one every day, it’ll kill you. ---
**Author:** ![BrotherCadfael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@BrotherCadfael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrotherCadfael)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2012, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tv-insults/608389/47 "2012-01-10T00:20:41Z")
“My days of not taking you seriously are certainly coming to a middle.” ---
**Author:** ![Mahaloth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mahaloth/32/1079_2.png) [@Mahaloth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mahaloth)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2012, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tv-insults/608389/48 "2012-01-10T01:41:41Z")
"Your brain for example - is brain’s so minute, Baldrick, that if a hungry cannibal cracked your head open, there wouldn’t be enough to cover a small water biscuit. " ---
**Author:** ![Mahaloth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mahaloth/32/1079_2.png) [@Mahaloth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mahaloth)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2012, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tv-insults/608389/49 "2012-01-10T01:45:47Z")
Another Blackadder: (on the French) “I hardly think a nation that eags frogs and would go to bed with the kitchen sink if it put on a tutu is in any position to preach couthness” ---
**Author:** ![blondebear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blondebear/32/1022_2.png) [@blondebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blondebear)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2012, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tv-insults/608389/50 "2012-01-10T01:56:38Z")
What a maroon! ---
**Author:** ![MacCat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/maccat/32/216_2.png) [@MacCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MacCat)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2012, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tv-insults/608389/51 "2012-01-10T02:46:07Z")
Fawlty Towers Sybil re: Basil “an aging, brilliantined stick insect” ---
**Author:** ![Jim\_s\_Son](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e19adc/32.png) [@Jim\_s\_Son](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jim_s_Son)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2012, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tv-insults/608389/52 "2012-01-10T15:27:38Z")
Star Trek TOS “The Trouble with Tribbles” Nilz Baris “Captain Kirk, I consider your security measures a disgrace. In my opinion, you have taken this entire very important project far too lightly” Kirk " On the contrary, sir, I think of this project as very important. It is you I take lightly" ``` "Bread and Circuses" as Spock and McCoy are forced to fight gladiators ``` Spock “Need any help, Doctor?” McCoy “What ever gave you that idea?” Spock’s opponent “fight, you pointed-eared freak” McCoy “You tell him, Buster. Of all the completely ridiculous illogical questions I ever heard in my life” “I, Claudius” TV series Sejanus “If Germanicus was profoundly loved, he is also profoundly dead. We are all loved when we are dead” Livia I wouldn’t count on that if I were you." ---
**Author:** ![Don\_Draper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b2d939/32.png) [@Don\_Draper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_Draper)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2012, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tv-insults/608389/53 "2012-01-10T15:45:43Z")
> [@Zeldar](#): > > One of the classics! 😃 Todd: “Hey Lisa, maybe you ought’a put some band-aids on those two mosquito bites on your chest there.” Lisa: “Oh, real funny Tod. So funny I forgot to laugh!” Todd: “Noogies! Noogies!” Lisa: “Hey quit it, pizza face!” Todd: “You should lay off the pizza face comments. My mother said that as soon as my acne clears up, I’m gonna be a real looker.” Lisa: “Oh, yeah. By the time your acne clears up, they’ll be making snowballs down in H-E-double hockeysticks!” Todd: “Guess I won’t be doing YOU any sexual favors.” Lisa: “You got that right. I’m saving myself for my one true love - Marvin Hamlisch!” ---
**Author:** ![Tibby](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tibby/32/17030_2.png) [@Tibby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tibby)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2012, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tv-insults/608389/54 "2012-01-10T22:33:05Z")
> [@enomaj](#): > > Fish-eyed fool! - Aunt Esther to Fred G. Sanford (Sanford and Son) …and a worthy retort from Fred G. Sanford to Aunt Esther, _“I could stick your face in some dough and make gorilla cookies!”_ ---
**Author:** ![Dendarii\_Dame](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bbce88/32.png) [@Dendarii\_Dame](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dendarii_Dame)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2012, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tv-insults/608389/55 "2012-01-11T16:55:36Z")
From Blackadder: Edmund is referred to as “arrow fodder” at one point. “Baldrick, for you the Renaissance was something that happened to other people, wasn’t it?” “Wicked child!” “Mrs. Miggins, if we were the last three people left on earth, I’d be trying to start a new race with Baldrick.” From G.I. Joe (of all places): “You look like something the cat declined to drag in.” From Rumpole of the Bailey: “If you can find a taxidermist willing to take on the job, get stuffed!” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tv-insults/608389.md?page=2)