TVLand Bringing Back "Green Acres," Dahlings!

Cafe Society
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Mr. Haney was my fave: the quintessential crooked entrepreneur. Anyone remember the time he took over the phone company? Life imitated that episode (with the breakup of the phone company) a few years later. You got your Nostrodamus, I got my Green Acres!

I have always believed that the following events took place in the years following the show: Haney salted away the money he made bilking Douglas. He stole his beautiful blonde eastern European wife, lost weight, bought a new wardrobe, got rid of his accent, and changed his name to that which we know him by today: Donald Trump.

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I must admit I was delighted when Mr. Haney drove up and tried to sell Oliver “a gen-yoo-wine Anna Held milk bath.”

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Among my favorite items offered for sale by Haney:

  • a really ugly sculpture by one Fettichini Monstrositi (in response to Mr. Douglas’ asking. “What is this monstrosity?”)

  • a baby elephant formerly owned by ‘The Marijuana of Rinkatupu’ (shades of the Trump Taj Mahal?)

  • a pair of ‘wavin sticks’ to a visiting orchestra conductor

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Mr. Haney: “How would you like this gen-you-wine Eggslicer?”

Oliver: “Why, that’s a harp, you . . .”

Mr. Haney: “Right you are: made by the famous harp-marker, Gustav Eggslicer!”

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Oh, for the love of…

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Well, I’m glad you like the show and all, but I lost a BUNDLE at the Hooterville Monkey Racing Track…

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I already have a wavin’ stick…

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Get ready to buy another…

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My favorite running gag is how only people with an IQ below a cetain level–meaning everyone except Oliver–can communicate with Arnold the Pig.

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Yet another reason why Evie and I are such old friends!
I remember an episode that was completely subtitled in Japanese. I was trying to explain to my aunt why “GA” was such a great show and I didn’t have to - she was riveted.

A friend used to call me at work and tell the receptionist he was “Sam Drucker.”