# TV's Dumbest Characters **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [December 13, 2005, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tvs-dumbest-characters/335435 "2005-12-13T17:15:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2005, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tvs-dumbest-characters/335435/21 "2005-12-13T19:07:40Z")
Howard Borden Ted Baxter Mallory Keaton None are as smart as Cliff Clavin who knows just about everything. Woody and Coach ---
**Author:** ![TV\_time](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f17d59/32.png) [@TV\_time](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TV_time)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2005, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tvs-dumbest-characters/335435/22 "2005-12-13T19:17:50Z")
Two votes for **Lenny and Squiggy** from _Laverne and Shirley_. Well, actually, one vote for them since I am only one person, but their combined IQs generally falls short of almost any individual mentioned so far. I might also mention **Maynard G. Krebs** from _The Many Loves of Dobie Gillis_. Like wow. Another two non-mental giants (although not at the sub-level of Lenny and Squiggy) were the mayor on _Spin City_, and **Ted Baxter** on the _Mary Tyler Moore Show._ ---
**Author:** ![JThunder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e95f7d/32.png) [@JThunder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JThunder)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2005, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tvs-dumbest-characters/335435/23 "2005-12-13T19:25:32Z")
Simon Tam, for being so slow to move on Kaylee. Johnny Fever, for being to dumb to make the moves on Bailey. Oh, and Gilligan, for failing to notice Mary Ann. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2005, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tvs-dumbest-characters/335435/24 "2005-12-13T19:29:52Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > Howard Borden > > Ted Baxter > > Mallory Keaton > > None are as smart as Cliff Clavin who knows just about everything. > > Woody and Coach Mallory wasn’t extremely dumb. She was the least intelligent in her family but she was bright enough to go to college. Bob Denver is racking up votes. I might as well add Dusty for Dusty’s trail and whatever his character’s name was on Far Out Space Nuts. ---
**Author:** ![Gilligan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Gilligan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gilligan)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2005, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tvs-dumbest-characters/335435/25 "2005-12-13T19:31:58Z")
“More inept than dumb.” Yeah, that’s me. But, I _did_ notice Mary Ann, believe me. I would add Philip J Fry from (_Futurama_). ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2005, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tvs-dumbest-characters/335435/26 "2005-12-13T19:37:45Z")
> [@jrfranchi](#): > > Mallory wasn’t extremely dumb. She was the least intelligent in her family but she was bright enough to go to college. She wasn’t? Wasn’t? That meust be one of those special verbs. Like they use for dead people. OK, maybe boyfriend Nick was dumber. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2005, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tvs-dumbest-characters/335435/27 "2005-12-13T19:48:24Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > She wasn’t? Wasn’t? That meust be one of those special verbs. Like they use for dead people. > > OK, maybe boyfriend Nick was dumber. Well I am comparing her to characters like Gilligan, Homer, Jethro and others listed here. She was realistically dumb not “extremely dumb”. Come to think of it I am probably forgiving of her because she is my age and I think I had a crush on Justine Bateman as Mallory. Very Nice and Pretty Girl. This invalidates my opinion of her character doesn’t it? :smack: Jim ---
**Author:** ![JerH](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/bb73d2/32.png) [@JerH](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JerH)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2005, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tvs-dumbest-characters/335435/28 "2005-12-13T20:04:27Z")
> [@JeffB](#): > > Larry’s brother Darryl – no, the other one. You’re forgetting that he did graduate from Oxford. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2005, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tvs-dumbest-characters/335435/29 "2005-12-13T20:34:48Z")
All those were dumb – but Corky from _Life Goes On_ and Bennie from _L.A. Law_ were actually retarded. Does that count? ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2005, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tvs-dumbest-characters/335435/30 "2005-12-13T20:39:49Z")
> [@JerH](#): > > You’re forgetting that he did graduate from Oxford. No, that was _Darryl_, not _Darryl_. Darryl was a graduate of Cambridge. Larry: Yeah, you can imagine the ribbing they gave me for my Associate Degree from Vermont Technical College. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2005, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tvs-dumbest-characters/335435/31 "2005-12-13T20:41:35Z")
Monroe Ficus from _Too Close for Comfort_ J.J. from _Good Times_ Sam from _ER_ (when a surgeon who looks like Dr. Luka shows interest in a single mother with no money, DON’T LET HIM GO!) ---
**Author:** ![BobLibDem](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/boblibdem/32/3149_2.png) [@BobLibDem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobLibDem)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2005, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tvs-dumbest-characters/335435/32 "2005-12-13T20:50:04Z")
There’s Goober Pyle and Barney Fife from Andy Griffith, and Cletis from the Dukes of Hazzard. Maybe Lowell from Wings. Mr. Roper from Three’s Company was at times as dumb as Chrissy. My personal favorite would be Norton. ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2005, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tvs-dumbest-characters/335435/33 "2005-12-13T20:54:38Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#): > > All those were dumb – but Corky from _Life Goes On_ and Bennie from _L.A. Law_ were actually retarded. > > Does that count? I don’t think so. To me, mental retardation is a handicap. Mentally retarded people can be surprisingly enterprising in overcoming the great odds against them. Stupid people, on the other hand, represent a monumental waste of what they have. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2005, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tvs-dumbest-characters/335435/34 "2005-12-13T20:55:10Z")
> [@BobLibDem](#): > > There’s Goober Pyle and Barney Fife from Andy Griffith, and Cletis from the Dukes of Hazzard. Maybe Lowell from Wings. Mr. Roper from Three’s Company was at times as dumb as Chrissy. As was Mr. Furley. Also Enos from _Dukes_ and Ernest T. “Old Man Haney’s Ocean” Bass from _Andy Griffith_. ---
**Author:** ![Shoeless](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shoeless/32/7099_2.png) [@Shoeless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shoeless)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2005, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tvs-dumbest-characters/335435/35 "2005-12-13T21:02:35Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#): > > All those were dumb – but Corky from _Life Goes On_ and Bennie from _L.A. Law_ were actually retarded. > > Does that count? Actually, Corky wasn’t retarded, he had Down’s Syndrome. ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2005, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tvs-dumbest-characters/335435/36 "2005-12-13T21:03:54Z")
> [@Scott Plaid](#): > > Wtf are you on? :dubious: I haven’t seen the show for a few seasons, but i recall they are called the Wiskersons. You must not have seen it since the pilot episode. That script had Francis wearing a name tag that said “Wilkerson”. (Not Wiskerson.) And there was an exchange of dialog between Malcolm and another kid about the Wilkersons and the Pariahs. But the writers and producers decided never to reveal a last name so as not to pin down any specific ethnicity (despite that Lois’s parents are vaguely Eastern European or Roma). So the dialog was removed before airing. Unfortunately, the director and editor forgot about the name tag. ---
**Author:** ![Scott\_Plaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Scott\_Plaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scott_Plaid)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2005, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tvs-dumbest-characters/335435/37 "2005-12-13T21:06:19Z")
> [@Liberal](#): > > You must not have seen it since the pilot episode. yes, but the fact that episodes have aired since the pilot, does not rule out the fact that they do have a last name, regardless of the director’s intent. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2005, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tvs-dumbest-characters/335435/38 "2005-12-13T21:16:08Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > What show is Reese from? I suspect he refers to the little-seen MALCOLM IN THE MIDDLE. ---
**Author:** ![bouv](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bc8723/32.png) [@bouv](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bouv)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2005, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tvs-dumbest-characters/335435/39 "2005-12-13T21:21:27Z")
The answer HAS to be Peter Griffon. Examples of his stupidy include: 1. Locking himself INSIDE his car 2. Forgetting how to sit (these have already been mentioned) 3. Attempted to buidl a water-slide down his stairs 4. _Barely_ able to say the word “what”, after just being told to say it. 5. Bought volcano insurance and almsot bought cloud insurance. 6. Can’t remember his daughter’s name, or sometimes that she exists at all. 7. Participated in an ipecac drinking contest (though to be fair, this also maesns Chris, Stewie, and Brian are dumb as well. Chris i can understand…mayb Brian since Peter is good at getting him to go along with his scemes, but Stewie?) 8. Thinks “nuclear” is pronouced "nukuler because the ‘s’ is silent. 9. Made a doctor be the town idiot in New Quahog instead of letting him be a doctor. 10. Tried to give himself a BJ by startnig from a standing position and ended up falling down the stairs. Although a close runner-up is Phillip J. Fry. His examples include: 1. Not realizing the names “I.C. Weiner” and “Seymore Asses” were fake. 2. Forgetting how he and Leela met. 3. Had sex with his own grandmother. 4. Ate an obviously moldy and nasty sandwich, even after commenting it tasted like vomit. 5. Got a six-pack plastic ring stuck around his neck. 6. Made out with a radiator, thinking it was a radiator woman from the radiator planet. 7. Tried to eat a pineapple hanging from a string, but failed, because he didn’t think to use his hands. 8. Took an exam on the 20th century and tied with a monkey who’s paper was smeared with feces. 9. Dove into a river of soda and then realizes he can’t swim. 10. Killed a brain slug because it starved to death feeding on his brain. ---
**Author:** ![bouv](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bc8723/32.png) [@bouv](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bouv)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2005, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tvs-dumbest-characters/335435/40 "2005-12-13T21:27:24Z")
The answer HAS to be Peter Griffon. Examples of his stupidy include: 1. Locking himself INSIDE his car 2. Forgetting how to sit (these have already been mentioned) 3. Attempted to buidl a water-slide down his stairs 4. _Barely_ able to say the word “what”, after just being told to say it. 5. Bought volcano insurance and almsot bought cloud insurance. 6. Can’t remember his daughter’s name, or sometimes that she exists at all. 7. Participated in an ipecac drinking contest (though to be fair, this also maesns Chris, Stewie, and Brian are dumb as well. Chris i can understand…mayb Brian since Peter is good at getting him to go along with his scemes, but Stewie?) 8. Thinks “nuclear” is pronouced "nukuler because the ‘s’ is silent. 9. Made a doctor be the town idiot in New Quahog instead of letting him be a doctor. 10. Tried to give himself a BJ by startnig from a standing position and ended up falling down the stairs. Although a close runner-up is Phillip J. Fry. His examples include: 1. Not realizing the names “I.C. Weiner” and “Seymore Asses” were fake. 2. Forgetting how he and Leela met. 3. Had sex with his own grandmother. 4. Ate an obviously moldy and nasty sandwich, even after commenting it tasted like vomit. 5. Got a six-pack plastic ring stuck around his neck. 6. Made out with a radiator, thinking it was a radiator woman from the radiator planet. 7. Tried to eat a pineapple hanging from a string, but failed, because he didn’t think to use his hands. 8. Took an exam on the 20th century and tied with a monkey who’s paper was smeared with feces. 9. Dove into a river of soda and then realizes he can’t swim. 10. Killed a brain slug because it starved to death feeding on his brain. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tvs-dumbest-characters/335435.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tvs-dumbest-characters/335435.md?page=3)