# 'Twas A Dark And Stormy Night-In Space! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 24, 2019, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/twas-a-dark-and-stormy-night-in-space/834455 "2019-05-24T14:54:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2019, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/twas-a-dark-and-stormy-night-in-space/834455/21 "2019-05-24T18:23:30Z")
“Welcome to The Island of MOSFET Toys!” ---
**Author:** ![Sunny\_Daze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunny_daze/32/438_2.png) [@Sunny\_Daze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunny_Daze)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2019, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/twas-a-dark-and-stormy-night-in-space/834455/22 "2019-05-24T18:35:54Z")
> [@TriPolar](#): > > The anti-muse is not with me. Needs more: > > Against the starless spacescape meteors pelted the starship as if they were loose potatoes bouncing out of a farm truck on a bumpy country lane, and then then I heard the unavoidable sound akin to the first hissing of a teapot coming to a boil as air slowly began to leak from one of the impact dents, tortuously rising in volume and pitch as the puncture dilated. I like it! > [@markn\_1](#): > > Quickly and with great urgency but also incredulous to find himself, out of a clear black sky, to be abruptly worried for the very life of his wife, Gil lifted Robin from the seat of the moon buggy to place her on the ground just beyond the crater. ISWYDT ---
**Author:** ![begbert2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/begbert2/32/3357_2.png) [@begbert2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/begbert2)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2019, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/twas-a-dark-and-stormy-night-in-space/834455/23 "2019-05-24T18:53:27Z")
“0101010001101000011000010111010000100000011101110110000101110011001000000110111001101111001000000110110001100001011001000111100100101100001000000111010001101000011000010111010000100000011101110110000101110011001000000110110101111001001000000111011101101001011001100110010100100001”, Beeblox exclaimed with uncharacteristic fervor. ---
**Author:** ![markn\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@markn\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/markn_1)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2019, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/twas-a-dark-and-stormy-night-in-space/834455/24 "2019-05-24T19:10:45Z")
Who knew Beeblox was married? ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2019, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/twas-a-dark-and-stormy-night-in-space/834455/25 "2019-05-24T19:25:58Z")
“I shall strike my opponent down with my invincible Space Sword!” said the Space Barbarian, right before the space bullet fired from the space Colt .45 created a space in the middle of his forehead. ---
**Author:** ![Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malleus_incus_stapes/32/3293_2.png) [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malleus_Incus_Stapes)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2019, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/twas-a-dark-and-stormy-night-in-space/834455/26 "2019-05-24T21:38:41Z")
> [@markn\_1](#): > > Quickly and with great urgency but also incredulous to find himself, out of a clear black sky, to be abruptly worried for the very life of his wife, Gil lifted Robin from the seat of the moon buggy to place her on the ground just beyond the crater. _snerk_ > [@CalMeacham](#): > > The citizens of the Earth seemed helpless in their battle against the tiger-like alien invaders, until Fred gestured with his Laser Pointer. I would read the heck outta this. ---
**Author:** ![swampspruce](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampspruce/32/261_2.png) [@swampspruce](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampspruce)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2019, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/twas-a-dark-and-stormy-night-in-space/834455/27 "2019-05-24T21:49:13Z")
Twerbel lifted the ancient manuscript to himself with great care, the kind you exercise when you’re taking your shoes off to sneak in after a night’s debauche to avoid arousing your sleeping wife, and opening the book had just enough time to scream as the talon slid silently and effortlessly through the back armour, inner suit, and unfortunately for himself, Twerbel. ---
**Author:** ![Aspenglow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aspenglow/32/76_2.png) [@Aspenglow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aspenglow)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2019, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/twas-a-dark-and-stormy-night-in-space/834455/28 "2019-05-24T22:49:10Z")
“Hmmm,” thought Norbert, as he gazed out in a clueless sleepy stupor at the two suns rising to the north and the thing that looked like an old-fashioned Roomba, only slithering silent on skids of slime, swiftly surrounded his ankles, “nothing new under the suns.” ---
**Author:** ![Heracles](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/heracles/32/487_2.png) [@Heracles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Heracles)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2019, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/twas-a-dark-and-stormy-night-in-space/834455/29 "2019-05-25T00:55:23Z")
“WE COME IN PEACE”, the Scarabs had said; after two days, we found out that _Peace_ was just their name for the lead ship of the assimilation fleet. ---
**Author:** ![ftg](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ftg/32/2801_2.png) [@ftg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ftg)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2019, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/twas-a-dark-and-stormy-night-in-space/834455/30 "2019-05-25T19:54:31Z")
“Repent, Harlequin!” Said the Ticktockman. Checking … That’s been taken (and used as a title). Oops. Umm … “Atone, Jester!” Said the Dingdongperson. Ah much [del]better[/del] worse. ---
**Author:** ![markn\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@markn\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/markn_1)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2019, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/twas-a-dark-and-stormy-night-in-space/834455/31 "2019-05-25T20:25:31Z")
“The Kanamit landed in New York, bearing a cookbook titled _How To Serve Man_.” Uh, no wait, maybe part of that should go later in the story. ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2019, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/twas-a-dark-and-stormy-night-in-space/834455/32 "2019-05-25T22:37:14Z")
“Since the universe is near the critical density, we are clearly living inside a black hole, and dark energy is the manifestation of it ripping everything apart as we fall”, Arthur proclaimed, his knowledge of physics clearly curtailed by the distracting effects of Googling “black hole” with Safe Search turned off. ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2019, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/twas-a-dark-and-stormy-night-in-space/834455/33 "2019-05-25T22:49:49Z")
It was a dark and tortuous asteroid storm as the Space Rangers blasted into the dark oblivion void of space in pursuit of the horridly tentacled Brrsk\*{!, male screams of horror and sighing gasps of female orgasms coming over the com broadcast from the prisoner pods snagged in the pseudopods of the Brrsk\*{! jellyships. ---
**Author:** ![Civil\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/d78d45/32.png) [@Civil\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Civil_Guy)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2019, 3:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/twas-a-dark-and-stormy-night-in-space/834455/34 "2019-05-26T03:32:12Z")
The angelic yet studly looking android, in a spacesuit that was far too white from far too much bleach, said in a voice that longed for the briefest of pit stops at the far too many passed-up interstellar rest areas, “We have the answer to humanity’s most urgent question: it is… the creature paused in sudden surprise… Null Pointer Exception.” With that, the creature froze in place. ---
**Author:** ![PoppaSan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/poppasan/32/189_2.png) [@PoppaSan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PoppaSan)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2019, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/twas-a-dark-and-stormy-night-in-space/834455/35 "2019-05-26T23:18:00Z")
“You girl, hold muh beer” the old asteroid miner had said when the Kerzidian armada showed up on the orbital tracking sensors. ---
**Author:** ![Aspenglow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aspenglow/32/76_2.png) [@Aspenglow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aspenglow)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2019, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/twas-a-dark-and-stormy-night-in-space/834455/36 "2019-05-26T23:29:30Z")
An aside: This is my absolute favorite thread on SDMB at the moment. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![MEBuckner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mebuckner/32/2896_2.png) [@MEBuckner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MEBuckner)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2019, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/twas-a-dark-and-stormy-night-in-space/834455/37 "2019-05-27T00:49:21Z")
“As you know, Doctor Knight, this sub-nucleonic spatio-temporal inversion poses a threat to all life on Earth, since it could cause a rift in the very fabric of space-time and destroy reality as we know it!” mansplained Commander Rick “Rock” Steele, the most highly decorated officer in the Earth Space Force. “Yes, Commander Steele, I did know that, since I am Earth’s foremost authority on sub-nucleonic spatio-temporal inversions, but thank you for telling me anyway,” replied Doctor Barbara “Stormy” Knight, Earth’s foremost authority on sub-nucleonic spatio-temporal inversions, who at nineteen years old was the youngest Nobel laureate in history and had worked her way through college as a supermodel. _Uppity bitch_, thought Commander Rick “Rock” Steele to himself, although without actually saying it out loud. The repressed yet powerful sexual tension in the room was so thick it would have taken a nucleonic-fusion-powered plasma-beam hyper-cutter to cut through it. ---
**Author:** ![Aspenglow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aspenglow/32/76_2.png) [@Aspenglow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aspenglow)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2019, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/twas-a-dark-and-stormy-night-in-space/834455/38 "2019-05-27T00:55:00Z")
**MEBuckner** , it’s still fabulous. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![MacSpon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/34f0e0/32.png) [@MacSpon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MacSpon)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2019, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/twas-a-dark-and-stormy-night-in-space/834455/39 "2019-05-27T01:42:37Z")
Ten thousand years later, nobody would remember what Dick Bork said to the intelligent squid, or why they were smiling so much; the brief (but passionate) affair between Daisy Rumblethighs and her auto-lubricating droid would be completely forgotten; and the 3D images of Kurt Krant with his head wedged in the Tittilax Ambassador’s wheeple would be lost in the mists of time; but everybody would know exactly why Grotbork the Turgid had to behead his automatic camel … but let me begin at the beginning. ---
**Author:** ![blue\_infinity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blue_infinity/32/2817_2.png) [@blue\_infinity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blue_infinity)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2019, 6:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/twas-a-dark-and-stormy-night-in-space/834455/40 "2019-05-27T06:51:21Z")
The grotesque alien commander looked obdurately, with an inhuman gaze, from the translucent viewport of the extra-terrestrial vessel, a ship of such colossal extent that it dwarfed all imagination, as it sat floating threateningly in the unfathomable depths of cosmic space, poised above the fragile, rocky world, teeming with ingenuous life, that would presently encounter it’s dreadful doom. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/twas-a-dark-and-stormy-night-in-space/834455.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/twas-a-dark-and-stormy-night-in-space/834455.md?page=3)