# 'Twas A Dark And Stormy Night-In Space! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 24, 2019, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/twas-a-dark-and-stormy-night-in-space/834455 "2019-05-24T14:54:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 8\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2019, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/twas-a-dark-and-stormy-night-in-space/834455/41 "2019-05-27T15:03:47Z")
> [@markn\_1](#): > > “The Kanamit landed in New York, bearing a cookbook titled _How To Serve Man_.” > Uh, no wait, maybe part of that should go later in the story. Another of my sigs: “Mr. Chambers, don’t get on the ship; We’ve deciphered the book’s title, and it’s a TENNIS MANUAL!” ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2019, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/twas-a-dark-and-stormy-night-in-space/834455/42 "2019-05-27T15:09:57Z")
When John Carter first saw the Martian princess she was stretched languorously on her couch, heaving and pulsing convulsively as from her V-shaped lipless mouth saliva flowed seductively; she was dressed only in jewels. ---
**Author:** ![Shoeless](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shoeless/32/7099_2.png) [@Shoeless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shoeless)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2019, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/twas-a-dark-and-stormy-night-in-space/834455/43 "2019-05-27T15:45:55Z")
This may be cheating a bit but it’s not as funny without the book title. **My Life As A Starfleet Security Officer** “It all began when I… eeeaagggghhhhh!!” ---
**Author:** ![Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malleus_incus_stapes/32/3293_2.png) [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malleus_Incus_Stapes)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2019, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/twas-a-dark-and-stormy-night-in-space/834455/44 "2019-05-27T22:45:25Z")
From _ **Approaching Uranus: a Space Porno** _: > [@](#): > > “I hear you have an _astronomical_ unit, Professor,” purred Venus as she orbited towards me, her stellar body slowly rotating so that I could view everything from her smooth pale moons to her black hole-- which, in accordance with Wheeler’s famous dictum, had no hair. ---
**Author:** ![Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/regallag_the_axe/32/445_2.png) [@Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Regallag_The_Axe)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2019, 5:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/twas-a-dark-and-stormy-night-in-space/834455/45 "2019-05-30T05:57:46Z")
I’m channeling the spirit of [GLORYHAMMER](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gXzMD065HEk) here: The cosmic vampire had boarded Garthar’s atom-stellar cruiser, but he had no fear; he was infused with the aura of the Holy Nebula and his dwarf-built nova pistols were fully charged. ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2019, 7:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/twas-a-dark-and-stormy-night-in-space/834455/46 "2019-05-30T07:57:02Z")
Astronaut Steve Randall, having defeated the Sabrinites in the Battle of Tristan Four, assumed command of the Sabrinites’ ship, which was locked on a course directly into the star Amphora; looked at the instrument panel in front of him; and wondered just what the heck all of it did. ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2019, 9:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/twas-a-dark-and-stormy-night-in-space/834455/47 "2019-05-30T09:22:33Z")
The crew of the _Tantoblin_ looked at the mass of jelly that had been their captain, up until the Landonites hit him with their death ray. ---
**Author:** ![Atomic\_Alex](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atomic_alex/32/175_2.png) [@Atomic\_Alex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atomic_Alex)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2019, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/twas-a-dark-and-stormy-night-in-space/834455/48 "2019-05-30T18:26:34Z")
“Hello, yes this is the Time Police, would you like to have already reported a causality violation?” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/twas-a-dark-and-stormy-night-in-space/834455.md?page=2)