# Twas the night before Christmas..... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 3, 1999, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/twas-the-night-before-christmas/11746 "1999-12-03T15:01:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![ChiefScott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58f4c7/32.png) [@ChiefScott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChiefScott)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 1999, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/twas-the-night-before-christmas/11746/21 "1999-12-04T02:09:00Z")
Damn you Satan! Damn you to Hell!! ---
**Author:** ![Satan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Satan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satan)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 1999, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/twas-the-night-before-christmas/11746/22 "1999-12-04T22:57:00Z")
Bumping this to the top because… Well, frankly, I actually impressed myself this time for a change! * * * Yer pal, Satan ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 1999, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/twas-the-night-before-christmas/11746/23 "1999-12-05T00:26:00Z")
Wait a minute. How’d **I** get dragged into this? Michelle would have to be naked to get me going to _that_ degree. * * * -PIGEONMAN- Hero For A New Millennium! [The Legend Of PigeonMan](http://www.hotkey.net.au/~guanolad/pigeonman/) - updates every Wed & Sat. If I can be bothered. ---
**Author:** ![ChiefScott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58f4c7/32.png) [@ChiefScott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChiefScott)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 1999, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/twas-the-night-before-christmas/11746/24 "1999-12-05T00:34:00Z")
Quit cher bitchin’, mate. Your youth, name syntax, history of posting to Michelle threads, and your lack of proximity to me all came together at the proper time and place. (At least I didn’t post my first ditty…) ---
**Author:** ![Purple\_Toenails](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/779978/32.png) [@Purple\_Toenails](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Purple_Toenails)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 1999, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/twas-the-night-before-christmas/11746/25 "1999-12-05T20:00:00Z")
What kind of a god damned question is that??? You must sure be a blonde! 🙂 * * * Please forgive me i’m English! ---
**Author:** ![PurpleCrackwhore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/9fc348/32.png) [@PurpleCrackwhore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PurpleCrackwhore)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 1999, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/twas-the-night-before-christmas/11746/26 "1999-12-06T00:50:00Z")
well if you weren’t such a lusty englishman you would have noticed I was blonde along time ago. =) * * * “Only when he no longer knows what he is doing, does the painter do good things.” --Edgar Degas ---
**Author:** ![PurpleCrackwhore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/9fc348/32.png) [@PurpleCrackwhore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PurpleCrackwhore)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 1999, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/twas-the-night-before-christmas/11746/27 "1999-12-06T00:53:00Z")
and back to the original version… I arose from my bed to see what was the matter… * * * “Only when he no longer knows what he is doing, does the painter do good things.” --Edgar Degas ---
**Author:** ![ChiefScott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58f4c7/32.png) [@ChiefScott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChiefScott)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 1999, 12:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/twas-the-night-before-christmas/11746/28 "1999-12-06T12:46:00Z")
Away to the windows I flew like a flash, Tore open the shutters, threw up the say. And what to my wondering eyes should appear, but a miniature sleigh and 8 tiny reindeer. With a little old driver so lively and quick, Than I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick! ---
**Author:** ![Atrael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Atrael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atrael)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 1999, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/twas-the-night-before-christmas/11746/29 "1999-12-06T13:43:00Z")
Damn Chief, you took all the rest that I can remember. ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 1999, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/twas-the-night-before-christmas/11746/30 "1999-12-06T14:42:00Z")
I think you missed: The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow Gave a luster of midday to objects below. If anyone wants to take the breast and run with it, be my guest. * * * Uke ---
**Author:** ![PurpleCrackwhore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/9fc348/32.png) [@PurpleCrackwhore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PurpleCrackwhore)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 1999, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/twas-the-night-before-christmas/11746/31 "1999-12-06T14:53:00Z")
Ohh yeah, we must not forget the breast part! * * * “Only when he no longer knows what he is doing, does the painter do good things.” --Edgar Degas ---
**Author:** ![Satan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Satan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satan)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 1999, 6:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/twas-the-night-before-christmas/11746/32 "1999-12-07T06:08:00Z")
::running with breast:: * * * Yer pal, Satan ---
**Author:** ![Imthecowgodmoo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@Imthecowgodmoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Imthecowgodmoo)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 1999, 6:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/twas-the-night-before-christmas/11746/33 "1999-12-07T06:28:00Z")
I think this fits me more than the x-mas theme… I hate exams! (BTW, I didn’t make this up, it was sent to me via email from a friend) Twas the night before finals, And all through the college, The students were praying For some last minute knowledge. Most were quite sleepy, But none touched their beds, While visions of essays Danced in their heads. Out in the taverns, A few were still drinking, And hoping that liquor Would loosen up their thinking. In my own apartment, I had been pacing, And dreading the exams I soon would be facing. My roommates were speechless, Their noses in books, And my comments to them Drew unfriendly looks. I drained all the coffee, And brewed a new pot, No longer caring That my nerves were shot. I stared at my notes, But my thoughts were muddy, My eyes went ablur, I just couldn’t study. “Some pizza might help,” I said with a shiver, But each place I called Refused to deliver. I’d nearly concluded That life was too cruel, With futures depending On my grades in school. When all of a sudden, Our door opened wide, And Patron Saint Put It Off Ambled inside. His spirit was careless, His manner was mellow, He started to bellow: “What kind of student Would make such a fuss, To toss back at teachers What they tossed at us?” “On Cliff Notes! On Crib Notes! On last year’s exams! On Wingit and Slingit, And last minute crams!” His message delivered, He vanished from sight, But we heard him laughing Outside in the night. ## “Your teachers have pegged you, So just do your best. Happy Finals to All, And to All, a good test.” “People must think it must be fun to be a super genuis, But they don’t realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world.” – Calvin and Hobbes (\_\_) _/_ ---
**Author:** ![Pixoid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Pixoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pixoid)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 1999, 6:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/twas-the-night-before-christmas/11746/34 "1999-12-07T06:55:00Z")
_clapaclapaclapaclapaclap_ Thank you, Satan. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/twas-the-night-before-christmas/11746.md?page=1)