Hey, fuckface - I was about two feet from the front of your truck when you locked it, blowing your horn right in my ear (twice). When I jumped and said, “Jesus Christ!”, you could have at least had the grace to look a little bit sheepish for not waiting the two seconds it would have taken for me to move out of the blast zone.
Hell really is other people.
One thing that idea has going for it: you won’t be wanting beef stew again for a while.
I’m not too familiar with beef stew, but how about some beef hash? As much as I have bitched about them on this board, my local Whole Foods actually makes a wonderful beef hash.
My Mam fell halfway down the stairs last night, as a result we had a six hour visit to A & E to get her patched up and checked over. ( she is fine, bruised and a cut head) Everyone was brilliant, but it was clear that they were understaffed.
And now I seam to have all the panic I should have had last night but today.
I can make a mean ol’ stew. Are you in DFW? Do you want to come to my home? I have nobody to cook for!
I had a really bad cold this past week that felt like it would turn into bronchitis, which I haven’t had in years. I don’t think I was ever that sick. Don’t think I had a fever or anything. But it’s really done a number on me in other ways that’s hard to describe - either that or it was just part of something ongoing. Still trying to work that out.
Dear fellow office people:
Just because you smell/see food, does not make it a eating free for all.
We had a smallish potluck on our floor. 20 participants each put in $10. At LEAST 40 people lined up for food. What the hell?
Drive north a thousand miles…
I bucked up and have a pot bubbling away on the stove right now. It smells heavenly. I cobbled a few recipes together - I hope it works out. Even if it doesn’t, the left over wine makes up for it!
I took today off of work. I’m closing in on the use it or lose it leave line, I earned it and hell if I’m going to give it away. My darling daughter gave suggestions for what I should accomplish while she’s at work. Many of her suggestions included her chores. Really? If I want to sit on my ass, eat stew and drink wine while watching TV, well, I’m gonna. You can do you chores when you get home. Suck it up, Buttercup.
Glad she’s ok, and look at it this way: if you panic at the time, you can’t be as helpful; but your system needs that panic, so here it is!
Dear Retailer,
I browsed your online catalog and found something in it I wanted, so I ordered the item, paid for it, and received it. That should have been the end of it, I naively thought.
But noooooooooooo. From your customer-stalking point of view, it was JUST THE BEGINNING. First came the follow-up catalog in the mailbox. Then a week later, another catalog. Then catalogs from your “sister brands” began to arrive (and if you think that stupid name for “other subdivisions of the same corporate conglomerate” sounds graceful and charming, I want you to know that all it makes me think of is the Witches from Macbeth).
Every week I’m throwing away POUNDS of glossy paper that I can’t even be bothered to glance through on the crapper. WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO ME? I was a reasonably satisfied customer back when our relationship began, but now I hate you and all your Weird Sister Brands with the blazing fury of a thousand suns.
And when I went hunting on your website for some procedure, any procedure, for a beleaguered customer to use to MAKE THE CATALOGS STOP, I found a 1-888 number that you said would do the trick. (Oh, and by the way? I simply love how you coyly refer to this procedure as a way to “stop receiving duplicate catalogs”, as though it never entered your pretty little head that anybody could POSSIBLY want to stop receiving ALL your goddamned motherfucking tree-slaughtering catalogs, not just duplicate ones.)
So I call the 1-888 number.
Nobody answers.
Twenty rings. Oh wait! Somebody is answering!
It’s a prerecorded answering machine message.
Stating that this number is a Gun Confiscation News Tip Hotline, and I should please leave my news tip about gun confiscation after the tone.
You cretinous fuckers. My transaction with your company and the catalogs that YOU KEEP ON SENDING ME have NOTHING WHATEVER to do with guns. You just couldn’t be bothered to keep the catalog-canceling procedure information up-to-date on your website.
Well, you know what? Where I live, as it happens, no guns are being confiscated at all. And you may one day be very sorry that you put that idea into my head, IF YOU DON’T STOP SENDING ME ALL THESE FESTERING CATALOGS.
Thank you for your attention to this request.
Very truly yours,
Kimstu
Kimstu, try Catalog Choice. It works great! You have to create an account, but it’s totally worth it. They send me one email a year or something.
Thanks, but. Whose side are these folks on, anyway?
So they cancel specified catalogs for you for the 21 months between the 90-day limit and the 2-year expiration, and in return you give them your up-to-date address information and lots of details about which merchants you’ve been in touch with recently. And it’s totally free! :dubious:
You know what they say about free services: if you’re getting anything without paying for it, you’re not the customer, you’re the product.
Why the hell can’t merchants just offer an option on their order forms that says “Do Not Send Me Any Catalogs”, and if you check the box they don’t send you catalogs? Why do they want to spam me with reams of paper when it just makes me hate them? Why should I have to create accounts with dubious-looking “mail preference services” and give them all my info just to get a merchant to stop sending me fucking catalogs that make me hate them?
It turned out pretty damn good, if I may say so myself. It needed a bit more kick - I didn’t put in bay leaf or nearly enough pepper. But the beef was tender and the broth hearty. I am one happy camper.
My only rant: Never again will I scoff at TheKid’s insistence of having my mise en place set beforehand. I’m messy.
Bill’s beer making hobby is starting to be a problem. It started as out as something that he thought would be fun. He makes beer that people seem to honestly like and Bill enjoys sharing it. That’s all good, I want him to enjoy his hobby, even if I am such a philistine that I only drink watery, scorned Bud Light.
Now he’s doing seasonal beer. I love him, I really do. I dutifully taste every batch he makes and I try to think of nice things to say about the different recipes. But the batch he just made is just so wrong. Beer is NOT supposed to taste like pumpkin and spices. Coffee is very tasty with spices, wine is good if its spiced up, mead is always expected to taste of honey and spices, but beer should taste like BEER.
If his next batch tastes like Turkey, I’m boxing the whole batch up and sending it to Lynn…who has already said that she likes dark homemade beer.
Mmm… Sweet Potato Cranberry Sauce Lager…
…made with real gravy!
I appreciate the thought, I really do…but I bought a six pack of beer two or three months ago and I’m still working on it. So, ummm, I guess a batch would be a lifetime supply for me.
Today I was sitting in a seat on the bus and a fuckhead was standing next to my seat, looking at his phone, which was blaring annoying music (without headphones.) It would’ve been very easy for me to grab that phone and throw it out the bus window. And I was tempted to do that. Seldom have I been more tempted to do something… but I didn’t want to get in trouble or get into any nasty fights or anything. So I did nothing.
Are you sure he’s not trying to make Jones soda?
I’ve never seen a catalog yet that didn’t have a phone number to call if you wanted to place or inquire on an order by phone. Can you use that as a back door to talking with whoever handles the mailing list?
Saturday morning. Wanted to sleep in. Al (BigSmartCat) wanted snuggles. Fine by m---- OH GAWD! What is that stench?!?
Waterbath ensued. He’s not happy (damp heinie) and I’m not happy (there went my Saturday sleep-in plans/hopes.) Dammit, Al, I don’t have the time or energy to shave your britches, but I think I’ll have to do so.
“Hey, purplehorseshoe, how was your weekend?”
"Okay. Had to shave a pussy … "
" … "