# Twisted Christmas Carols **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 5, 2002, 10:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/twisted-christmas-carols/140671 "2002-12-05T10:51:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 8\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![screech-owl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/82dd89/32.png) [@screech-owl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/screech-owl)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2002, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/twisted-christmas-carols/140671/41 "2002-12-16T22:19:33Z")
Cars’ll pass, see ‘em glisten, Hear ‘em crash if you listen; A horrible sight, We’re dyin’ tonight, Drivin’ in a winter wonderland. Take a look, stars are bright out. No, I think it’s a white-out. We’ll spin and we’ll swerve Pray we make the curve, Drivin’ in a winter wonderland. In the left lane someone built a snowman, We’ll pretend that he’s a circus clown; Ask me if I’ll stop and I’ll say “No, man! I’m gonna mow the mother\*\*\*\*er down!” Later on, we’ll perspire, As we change the flat tire; We’ll argue and bitch, ‘Cause we’re in the ditch, From drivin’ in a winter wonderland. _(Gotta find my original - I had about six more verses.)_ ---
**Author:** ![TPWombat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbce88/32.png) [@TPWombat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TPWombat)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2002, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/twisted-christmas-carols/140671/42 "2002-12-17T01:18:10Z")
While searching for “ **Jingle Bell Rock** ” on Kazaa I happened to download a, uh, parody. Can’t link to it or even quote it here but you can find references if you google on “Jingle Bell Rock” and “Suck on my”. Very, very funny. ---
**Author:** ![TPWombat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbce88/32.png) [@TPWombat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TPWombat)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2002, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/twisted-christmas-carols/140671/43 "2002-12-17T01:19:35Z")
Bugger, should have added “And obscene”. ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Rieux](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/aeb1de/32.png) [@Dr.Rieux](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Rieux)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2002, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/twisted-christmas-carols/140671/44 "2002-12-17T02:36:51Z")
From MAD magazine, circa 1973: Bug off, ye merry gentlemen And worship from afar If Woman hadn’t given birth You’d have no “Superstar” She did it all without your help In Bethlehem back then All which proves we don’t need you lousy men Chauvinist men! ---
**Author:** ![cuauhtemoc](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ecb155/32.png) [@cuauhtemoc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cuauhtemoc)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2002, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/twisted-christmas-carols/140671/45 "2002-12-17T02:43:59Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by TPWombat \* > \*\*While searching for “ **Jingle Bell Rock** ” on Kazaa I happened to download a, uh, parody. Can’t link to it or even quote it here but you can find references if you google on “Jingle Bell Rock” and “Suck on my”. Very, very funny. \*\* Scroll up. This is the one I was talking about. Do you know anything else about it? I liked it because I hate _hate HATE_ Jingle Bell Rock and now I can chuckle to myself when it comes on the radio. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![DirkGntly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d9b06d/32.png) [@DirkGntly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DirkGntly)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2002, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/twisted-christmas-carols/140671/46 "2002-12-17T02:53:33Z")
“We wish you were Murray Crasmus, We wish you were Murray Crasmus, We wish you were Murray Crasmus, 'Cuz he’d bring the beer.” ---
**Author:** ![TPWombat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbce88/32.png) [@TPWombat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TPWombat)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2002, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/twisted-christmas-carols/140671/47 "2002-12-19T01:56:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by cuauhtemoc \* > \*\*Scroll up. This is the one I was talking about. \*\* Argh, sorry, **Cua** , missed your post somehow. No, sorry, I know nothing about it except it creases me up. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2002, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/twisted-christmas-carols/140671/48 "2002-12-19T04:33:29Z")
I saw Mom fellating Santa Claus, underneath the mistletoe last night She dropped down to her knees, and gave his balls a squeeze She licked the tip and swallowed all his manhood with great ease I saw Mommy deep throat Santa Claus, He filled her mouth with cum so snowy white Oh there would be hell to pay if Daddy had seen the way Mommy sucked off Santa Claus last night! I saw Mommy blowing Santa Claus, underneath the mistletoe last night They didn’t see me sneak down the stairs to take a leak they thought I was upstairs with my big brother doing Greek I saw Mommy swallow Santa Claus, He said he’ll cum again next Thursday night What a bitch it would have been if Daddy had seen her sin sucking Santa Claus’s dick last night! Mom’s pearl necklace came from Santa Claus underneath the mistletoe last night With his dick between her tits she gave Saint Nick some fits and when he blew his load he swore that he had lost his wits! Mommy’s wearing cum from Santa Claus Her face sports gobs of jizz so snowy white Now her neck is really slick from doing Kris Kringle’s dick when she got off Santa Claus last night! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/twisted-christmas-carols/140671.md?page=2)